On Monday during my first-thing-in-a-morning 2 hour phone app checking ritual, I opened up The Guardian app to ‘breaking news headlines’ about world leaders and their connections to an unknown Panama-based law firm called Mossack Fonseca; a firm that helps other firms register themselves as offshore entities. I’ll be brutally honest and admit that at first I did not realise that this was, in fact, news. I mean, this clearly is not an unfathomable surprise is it? Even the reaction in the mainstream media has been one of mild apathy; an underlying acceptance that this was bound to have been going on. After all, these havens legally exist.
As the days have gone by, so have the connections to world leaders increased. One connection in particular has transformed my initial lack of giving a shit into one of very much giving a shit. That of course is my old foe, David Cameron. Now it would appear that Cameron is the last remaining bastion of moral authority in British politics. He has long been vocal in his opposition to tax evasion and has done everything in his power to clamp down on those rigging the system. Successes ranging from Amazon to Google, David and he who shall not be named brought fairness to the economy. He even took it upon himself to chastise Jimmy Carr for his elaborate tax avoidance scheme, calling the comedian “morally wrong”. Dave (in this context it is definitely Dave) also unexpectedly became something of a man of the people, siding with Jimmy’s unsuspecting paying fans:
“People work hard, they pay their taxes, they save up to go to one of his shows. They buy the tickets. He is taking the money from those tickets and he, as far as I can see, is putting all of that into some very dodgy tax avoiding schemes.”
That’s until we get to his late father Ian Cameron. I don’t like to talk ill of the dead, so I won’t. I just presume that David’s virtuous and unwavering, underlying core moral values must have been acquired through years of responsible and reliable upbringing. Except the Panama Papers tell quite a different story. For 30 years Ian’s Blairmore Holding Inc. have not paid one solitary penny of tax in to the UK system. To put that into context, the average worker earning £26,500 during the same timescale would pay £159,390. Ian Cameron’s estimated wealth before his death in 2010 was £10,000,000. The Prime Minister of the United Kingdom has the audacity to impose a Bedroom Tax, a Pasty Tax, a Sugar Tax, a pseudo-Student Loan Tax, a disability benefit cut; a fucking wholesale Attack Tax on the poorest in society whilst being (without question) fully aware that his father was taking advantage of the loopholes that exist.
To make matters even worse, in 2013 David Cameron personally intervened to block an EU proposal that sought to vastly reduce the global theft that is under the alias of ‘tax avoidance’. He said that trusts (surprise surprise… Ian’s ballpark) should not be met with same vigorous checks as companies when it comes to tax avoidance. He actually vetoed a proposal to clamp down on tax avoidance whilst simultaneously spouting the same old no nonsense tough rhetoric on how he will bring it to an end.
As i side note, David Cameron inherited £300,000 from the death of his father. In 2012 he promised to provide to the public the full history of his tax returns; this has yet to come into fruition. He has publicly stated that he will not benefit from offshore trusts in future as if to appease our concerns. He is openly admitting that he has benefited from offshore trusts in the past whilst carrying out one of the most vicious 6 years ever undertaken by a modern British parliament. If there was ever a moment for the British public to respond and force a situation into where the man should be impeached it is now.
Instead, today’s headline in The Sun ran with “Will and Kate Terror Threat - India hunt for suicide bomb jihadis”. Let’s call this The Distraction Cocktail. Let’s throw a couple of royals in there, a big dollop of suicide bomb and a couple of Jihadis just to finish it off. That ought to do it. As you were everyone.
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