Poly Yes/No/Maybe List
What Things Are You Comfortable With Your Partner Doing With Others? – A Yes/No/Maybe List for Polyamory, Non-Monogamy, and Open Relationships Flirting Kissing Cuddling/Snuggling Manual Sex Oral Sex Anal Sex Vaginal Sex Group Sex Sex Without Barriers New Sex Acts Kink Fetish Bondage Discipline Dominance Submission Sadism Masochism Casual Sex Emotional Intimacy Love Short-Term Dating Long-Term Dating Once Rarely Occasionally Frequently Daily Weekdays Weekends Giving Boyfriend/Girlfriend/Partner Status Introducing to Friends Introducing to Family Being Out Publicly Living Together Sharing Finances Making Long-Term Plans Having Children Getting Married Staying Overnight Traveling Together Sharing Intimate Details At home In town Out of town While traveling At clubs/events With a Couple With Someone Partnered With Someone Cheating With Male Identified People With Female Identified People With People With Penises With People With Vaginas With Strangers With Friends With Acquaintances With Exes With Coworkers With Explicit Permission Notes: - It may make sense for some people to do the list more than once for “if you do it alone” and “if we do it together.” - Some of these may depend on each other! It might be okay to cuddle a friend daily, do kink at events out of town, or have anal sex without barriers with explicit permission. - This list isn’t comprehensive, it’s just some starting points! - In putting this together I drew some on the “Designing Your Open Relationship” chapter in Tristan Taormino’s book Opening Up. - For a more general but much bigger inventory of sexual interests and boundaries check out this page on Scarleteen. - I’m always open to feedback and suggestions!
