L&N @wannawrite - Tumblr Blog

Listen..... idk what it is about the absolute yearning that comes from stories where both people are into each other but they are not aware of the other's feelings but they still look at the relationship they have atm and go "being this close is enough. I'm glad with just this" but i go feral each time

#feral all day

wannawrite

Best Of Both Worlds

who?: Wanna One’s Park Woojin

genre: 🌸

type: scenario

word count: 4.3K

TW: coarse language

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who said love and evil don’t mix?

love-hate! AU

I have so much to say about this AU

⁃ admin l

disclaimer: pictures used do not belong to me and credit goes to their original owners everything that is written here is purely fictional DO NOT READ IF TRIGGERING

“Excuse me? What the hell did you just say? I dare you to repeat that shit again!” Your steely glare bore into the sarcastic hazel orbs of Park Woojin’s.

Aka the most annoying person, you had ever encountered.

Woojin sighed and casually repeated his sentence. “I really like your, yes, your best friend, Clara and yes, you should help us get together.”

The words took your brain too much time to process, too much time functioning around Park Woojin.

“Wow,” you drawled. “I lost brain cells trying to comprehend your words so bye, time for me to leave.”

The most, you managed to amble two steps away from him before e caught your elbow.

“Let me go you idiot! Or I’m going to yell to this whole neighbourhood that you bullied me!” You threatened, beyond angered.

Reluctantly, Woojin released his grip on your arm.

“Why should I even help you? Clara has a heart of a puppy! She can’t even harm a damn fly! Why her?” you groaned, picturing a harmful image of Park Woojin and Clara together.

He was the embodiment of the devil while she was the angel who was in charge of the choir in heaven. As a couple, it would be awful.

Disgusting.

Woojin beamed happily. “Because you love your best friend and you want her to be happy,” he explained like he was stating the obvious.

Giving him a once over - just in case he changed in 0.5 seconds, you decided that he was definitely not cut out to be boyfriend material, let alone Clara’s sort of boyfriend material.

You snorted. “She’ll be miserable with you! What kind of guy pours his milk into a bowl before the cereal. Uncultured! Strike one!”

Woojin frowned, teeth gritted. “That was one! time when we were 8 years old!”

Then, as if a light bulb flickered on inside his rather dull head, he smirked. “Don’t you remember when we were 8? And you had this massive crush on Lee Daehwi?”

A hot red seared your cheeks at the mention of that day. The day Park Woojin embarrassed you in front of all your neighbours at the monthly barbecue. Back then, he was the only one who knew you had a crush on Daehwi.

How? Woojin stole your diary in kindergarten, deciphered your illegible handwriting during nap time and discovered your secret crush.

What a gentleman.

“You better shut your mouth before I rip out your vocal cords, sew them back then slowly snip the seams one by one!” You growled threateningly. At least, you hoped to seem more collected than you actually were.

The imagery is really starting to take its toll on me.

“Do you always have to be so graphic?” Woojin rolled his eyes. “All I’m asking is for you to put in a good word for me. What have I done to you?”

Done to me?

A perfectly cut nail jabbed its way into Woojin’s chest accusingly. “You? What have you done to me?”

“I mean, you invaded my privacy when we were kids. Told the whole neighbourhood and the Lee family that I had a crush on their son! Then everyone spent two years thinking I was a slut because you claimed I kissed two people in an hour!”

Woojin took one look at your finger on his chest and flicked it away. “Talk about harassment now.”

You wanted to scream in his face and perhaps tie him upside down to a tree.

Woojin was such a jerk! Helpful next-door neighbour my ass!

You stormed ahead of him, eager to arrive home. Just breathing the same air made your head spin. Slamming the door in his face seemed perfect.

“That was when we were kids! I’ve apologised!” He yelled from behind you before stretching his long legs and catching up with you.

“Sure.”

A sigh left Woojin’s lips as he dramatically pinched the bridge of his nose in mock despair. “Fine. I have a proposition anyway.”

“I’m not interested,” you shot back, boredom filling your tone.

“It involves Lee Daehwi,” he hummed casually.

Those three words. Someone’s name. Those were enough to make you freeze, and cause your heart to pound.

You cleared your throat and tried to appear nonchalant in front of Woojin, hoping he would not notice.

“Okay,” you groaned reluctantly. “I’m listening now.”

If only your complete infatuation allowed you to tune out to whatever Woojin would propose.

Hell, who would make a deal with the devil?

“How fickle of you. I’m wondering if Daehwi even deserves someone like you,” Woojin commented, a teasing smirk on his lips.

Annoyed, you kicked an innocent stray pebble on the sidewalk, wishing it was Woojin’s face.

“Get on with the deal or I’m backing out.”

The boy put his hands up in mock surrender, faking shock. “Woah, okay.”

Surprisingly, he obeyed.

“I’ll set you up with Daehwi, if you help me get into Clara’s good books.”

“You make it sound like-“

“You don’t even have to help me until your ship is sailing,” he cut in hurriedly. “Who else would you go to? I’m Daehwi’s best friend and your next door neighbour, so perfect !”

It sounded like the most perfect proposal in the world. But Woojin wasn’t from this world. Far from it. Down under.

However, because of my stupid adoration for Lee Daehwi, I’m going to give Woojin a chance.

And Clara sleep paralysis.

But how bad could it be? It’ll be a win-win situation at the end.

Hopefully.

Clara’s a strong woman, she can handle herself. Like this, I can also regulate Woojin’s behaviour around her, maybe even sabotage it.

Thoughts like those filled your mind as you weighed out the pros and cons.

You chuckled quietly to yourself and offered Woojin an outstretched hand.

“I believe you’ve got yourself a deal.”

It was way past visiting hours at your house, after dinner and the time when the whole family was doing their own thing.

For example, you were holed up in your room, watching the latest drama on your laptop and grinning like an idiot.

That was when your father knocked on your door and announced that someone was here to see you.

Eyes narrowed in suspicion, you padded out to the living room to meet your uninvited guest.

“You!”

Your jaw fell open in disbelief and shock, a finger instinctively pointed accusingly at the person sitting on your sofa.

“What are you doing here?” you hissed, clearly frustrated, mildly annoyed Woojin had to see you in your lazing around outfit.

“Well, hello to you too. I feel so welcome here,” Woojin replied sarcastically.

While you were in your comfiest t-shirt and shorts, Woojin was clearly dressed up for a night out. That fact alone made you worried.

Plopping yourself into space next to him, you asked once more, “What are you doing here?”.

Woojin grinned like the Cheshire cat, wide and proud. “Someone I know is throwing a party tonight and…Daehwi will be there. Facts only.”

“And if you’re lying?”

In all honesty, you wouldn’t put it past him for lying.

He scoffed. “Why would I be? Our pact starts today. The faster I get you and Daehwi together, the faster I can get Clara.”

Woojin stretched out a hand, eyes almost challenging you to grab it. “So, party or no?”

Taking his hand, you shook it. “Give me a while, I need to change and tell my parents. Drinks or whatever are in the fridge.”

Daehwi. Daehwi. Daehwi. He’ll be there.

“Impossible,” you muttered under your breath, scanning the crowd frantically for any sign of Woojin or Daehwi.

Half an hour after losing Woojin, he was still nowhere to be found. Sure, he had instructed you to wait in the kitchen while he fetched Daehwi but he was taking way too long.

Plus, the kitchen began filling up with hungry drunkards and you figured it was time to scram.

Even though this party could be considered ‘small’, you weren’t exactly familiar with any of the faces.

Who even threw this party? Their snack selection sucked.

“Y/N!”

Finally!

Pushing through the crowd, you reached the other side of the house, from where Woojin was calling.

“Damnit! Don’t you know how to pick up a phone?” He flashed his phone screen in your face, the device was calling yours.

“Sorry. But you, you took way too much time to fetch him,” you fired back. “And, I called you twice as well!”

Luckily, Daehwi noticed your presence and decided to break the ice.

“Hey y/n, good to see you. Woojin never mentioned you would be here tonight,” he said with a smile.

“Hi!” You glared in Woojin’s direction to ask for help. “Uh, I love giving surprises so, here I am!”

You swore he facepalmed.

“Uh, I love parties and all!” You added much to Woojin’s horror.

To your relief, Daehwi only chuckled in amusement.

“Oh my god! Guys, it’s MY song! This is MY jam and…it’s time to dance! Come along,” Woojin shouted, dragging you and Daehwi to dance without waiting for replies.

“Oh, I didn’t know you listened to Taylor Swift,” Daehwi murmured. Woojin paid no mind to his accurate comment.

Woojin didn’t. As his next-door neighbour, all you had heard for the past few nights were pop and rap songs with the occasional ballad thrown in.

“Guess he’s trying out something new,” you added, trying to seem casual and composed.

In reality, your heart was going to leap out of your chest.

Quite a graphic scene.

Suddenly, Woojin announced that he needed a drink, or saw someone he knew, whichever excuse came first. He left you and Daehwi in the centre of the dance floor with a wink.

Shit! That prick knows I can’t dance!

Act composed. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.

“I love this song,” you said, attempting to groove but ended up stepping on someone’s toes.

“Um, looks like you and Woojin have similar tastes, haha! Y’all must spend a lot of time together,” Daehwi responded, somewhat unsure of how to react.

Crap!

“Oh, nah.” You quickly tried to brush off the assumption. “We’re just neighbours. You know that. You’re my neighbour too. Wait, why am I telling you this. You already know this. I-“

Ahh, the rambling.

Inhaling deeply, you calmed down and gathered your words properly.

“Sorry for my rambling. I think the party has me a little woozy,” you explained sheepishly.

People began to jostled you around, so you ended up finding your spot on the sidelines. Daehwi trailed after you.

He shook his head in, disagreeing. “Don’t be.”

Then, his thick brows furrowed with concern, eyes searching for any signs of distress. “Are you okay? Do you want me to call Woojin? You should be heading home if you’re feeling unwell.”

This is why he’s so perfect. He is THE sweetest man on this planet and no one can change my opinion.

“No!” The yell was a little too loud, causing a couple of odd looks to be thrown your way. You hastily made up a believable excuse, trying to smile flirtatiously, “Uh, I just got here. Besides, we just met!”

“I’ll be taking that away from you.”

In one swift motion, Woojin had swooped your cup of ‘whatever it was from the kitchen bar’ and throwing it into the trash.

You blinked twice at him, almost unable to believe what had just happened. “Woojin! Wha-“

Daehwi looked relieved to find Woojin. “Thank god you’re here! Uh, I…oh! Youngmin hyung!”

He looked to you, then to Woojin and back to you. “If you don’t mind…”

Woojin nodded in ‘Youngmin’s’ direction, grabbing a hold of your elbow. “Go ahead.”

Your mutter was incomprehensible.

“I guess, I’ll see you guys around! Nice meeting you here! Drive safely!” Daehwi bid the two of you goodbye with a wave. He disappeared pretty quickly into the crowd.

“Do you want to stay?” Woojin gestured to the most happening place of the party. Sighing, you rubbed your temples and shook your head, kicking the trash bin on the way out.

When you were seated in Woojin’s car and definitely out of earshot, did you begin to spill the short encounter to your friend.

“He asked me if I was okay!”

“He does that all the time.” Was his muted reply. “…But good job, I saw you guys talking.”

Woojin took a left down the lane.

A scoff left your lips. “Of course, until you interrupted us and threw my drink in the trash.”

He remained nonchalant with his answer. “Okay. Whatever that was had reached your brain and you were acting like a malfunctioning Ken doll. I saved your ass from embarrassing yourself in front of Daehwi.”

Reclining into the plush leather seat, you nodded playfully. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

With another turn, Woojin cleared his throat. “So, about our deal…”

“Yeah, yeah, Clara and all.”

Honestly, no bones in your body were excited to introduce Woojin to Clara. Even though she had witnessed your ‘banter’ with him, she never knew who he was. Plus, she was the nicest type of friend who thought of everyone in the best possible light.

Most people.

Woojin? Definitely.

Settling on her contact, your finger hovered directly above the illuminated blue button.

Text or call?

“How about next Saturday, a double date, bbq place next to the library?” You suggested.

“Double date?” Woojin questioned, brow quirked.

“Yeah, you, me, Daehwi, Clara. She loves barbecue by the way. I’ll say you suggested the idea,” you said, throwing in ideas as they came.

A smile broke out on Woojin’s face, so wide it made your heart flutter. You reached over and pinched one of his cheeks.

“You’re blushing,” you sang with delight.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Woojin admitted without hesitation. “Barbecue?”

“Text sent!” You confirmed happily, nearly tossing your phone to the back seat.

“Let’s get it.”

You: hey Clara, caught a fever, not coming to school so help me tell everyone, okay?

Clara: omg :((( i hope you get better soon and I’ll drop by later. Get some rest now💖

Right after you received her reply, you sent a heart back and threw your phone across your room.

The fever had really gotten you all worked up. It was incredibly annoying that your immune system picked and chose the times to malfunction.

Such as a fever two days before you were scheduled for a double date!

Wonderful.

The thought of cancelling the date mad you blush hotly with anger and frustration. Maybe you cried once or twice thinking about how the ‘breaking the news’ scenario would play out.

All you could do was to wait for the fever to subside then sweet talk your way into your parent’s approval. They would feel uneasy.

You hissed, retracting a hand away from your forehead that burned like hot coals.

Well, nothing could materialise unless the fever broke.

Sulkily, you slipped under the blankets again and hoped for rest to come.

Somehow, you wondered if Woojin had noticed your absence from school, or whether he noticed you hadn’t left your house that morning.

The fever must have severe impacts on your prefrontal cortex. Who would think of him? Why do I want him to notice? Do I want him to care?

At least, you managed to quietly slip into a serene dream.

“Rise and shine, brat .” A voice rang, echoing off the walls of your brain.

“Get up! You need to wake up! Your forehead’s burning, you have to take your pills!”

Mum? But,,,mum doesn’t swear and she’s meant to be at work. Clara? Clara never swears! Besides, she has tuition today. Neither of them have deep voices…Dad is at work too…

Woojin?

Wait, it could be Daehwi?

Trying to guess the person from voice alone was a seemingly easy task for a person whose brain wasn’t being eaten up by a fire.

Strange, it placed Woojin on the list too.

“What,” you whispered, unamused.

Claps sounded through the atmosphere, and a sarcastic voice followed suit. “Fantastic! Sleeping beauty has awoken! Though, I must say you look much more like the beast when asleep.”

At that comment, your eyes flew open and you leapt up to confront the intruder.

“Park Woojin! What are you doing here?”

Isn’t this the second time in two weeks that he has adventured into my house? First my living room and now my bedroom?

“Woojin! Now, I have to disinfect my whole house because of your germs!”

With a gentle push on your shoulder, you fell back onto your bed. “Relax,” Woojin said. “I come in peace.”

He gestured to his mysterious metal tureen, a teddy bear and a balloon. “The notes are from your friends. Clara got you the balloon and, I bought you the bear.”

Weirdly enough, you felt paper wings of tiny butterflies flap in your stomach and heart begin to thud.

“Oh,” you muttered wordlessly, accepting his teddy bear.

Woojin then proceeded to offer you the container of chicken broth stew, saying how he spent hours broiling it. He also managed to brag about his excellent chef skills.

After which, he presented a folder of all the work you had missed, with a sticky note of instructions. It was neatly organised and even had colourful sticky tabs.

“Clara collected the work and asked me to deliver it,” he clarified.

Clara’s handwriting was a whole lot neater and more cursive than his boxy letters.

Still, you played along, not wanting to put him in a spot.

“Why are you doing all this for me? You really didn’t have to.”

A part of you was reluctant to hear the truth because Park Woojin came up with the most ridiculous reasons ever. But the other half wanted to know if this meant something, at least platonically.

For a minute, Woojin distracted himself by looking anywhere but in your direction.

“You idiot,” he finally snickered. “I still need my favourite wingman for Saturday. Can’t have you bailing on me.”

You sort of knew he was joking and truthfully, it made a whole lot of sense. Yet, why did it somehow hurt?

Sensing the shift in your mood, Woojin grew anxious. He gave your shoulder a pat. “Hey, all that aside. I came here as your next door neighbour and your friend. You can call me anytime.”

Reassuring.

His words were so reassuring.

Friends.

We were friends now.

Maybe you were sick and ignoring his usual stupid, goofy side and tapping into the soppy, emotional perspective but you appreciated this unseen side of your new friend.

“Thank you for caring,” you expressed with gratitude.

He gave a charming boyish nod before enveloping you in a bone-crushing hug.

Woojin looks like the kind of guy to give good hugs

A glance at the clock told you that you were five minutes late to the barbecue place.

The main reason: the cool, calm, playful Park Woojin was having a total breakdown in his bedroom

First, it was about the colour of his shirt. Then, how he did his hair and how many earrings he should wear.

The past hour or so was spent on you trying to encourage and reassure him.

“Cheer up! You always look amazing in everything and you’ll look even better when you show off your cooking skills! I know you can make a mean fried rice!”

“But, what if-“

“No buts! You can do this! You’re Park Woojin! And, you have me! The best wingman in the world!”

Your energetic pep talk seemed to have calmed his nerves for the time being.

Meanwhile, you received text updates of food Daehwi and Clara had ordered.

It seemed like the two of them hit it off well in the short time they had been sitting at the same table. Their casual banter got on your nerves more than it should have.

Yet, your mind was more preoccupied thinking about Woojin.

He had barely uttered a word to Clara.

Deciding that enough was enough, you kicked him in the shin under the table.

“Ouch!” He exclaimed. “What the hell?”

“That’s…not…how you grill meat, Woojin! Let me teach you how. I think food is an essential part of a conversation starter, don’t ruin it,” you warned through gritted teeth.

“Hey! It’s not like you do any better in cooking,” Woojin shot back, clearly not getting the message.

Clara smiled sweetly and awed. “These two argue like a married couple! How cute!”

You picked up the scissors and gave a little ‘snip-snip’. “I’ll chop off my ring finger before he ever proposes!”

Clara motioned for you to calm down before whining about your dramatic ways.

“I think they’re funny,” Woojin suddenly defended. “I-I mean…it’s fun to challenge someone.”

Daehwi and Clara exchanged not-so-subtle looks.

Oh no.

They think that this ‘double date’ is for them to wingman us! Plus, they do look like they enjoy each other’s company.

Woojin would be so crushed! I need to warn him.

“Woojin,” you coughed. “I think I left my…wallet in the car. Could you come with me to get it?”

Wordlessly and with shaky hands, he passed you the car keys. You swore you saw him suck in a deep breath when your fingers brushed.

You felt sparks too, you were just better at concealing them, for the sake of Clara and Daehwi.

Woojin couldn’t stay here alone. What if they get the wrong idea and interrogate him until he is forced to reveal our pact? That’ll end his chances with Clara forever!

This pact was so stupid!

But it did give me some of the best moments of my life. Woojin bringing soup over, going to parties together…

“Uh, I forgot where we parked the car.”

Groaning, Woojin got up from his seat, back to his usual self. “Seriously? I suppose it comes with age. Your skin looks a lot more wrinkly than before.”

Yes, he was back to his usual self.

“You’re insufferable! I can’t believe it,” you grumbled, quickly steering both of you out of the shop.

Out of sight, you filled him in on how the current, dire situation. But that didn’t faze him one bit.

“Hello? Woojin! You have to talk to Clara okay? Giving her a yoghurt smoothie every day isn’t going to suffice!”

You continued to talk once the car came into sight.

“Besides, you were so nervous about meeting her! Chill, calm down. Now’s the perfect time to use all your charm on her!”

“I like you.”

You stopped dead in your tracks, jaw dropping open as you locked eyes with Woojin. Surely, he’s kidding.

Right?

It has to be his confession for Clara. That’s what he’s so nervous about! He just needed to rehearse with me.

A half-hearted laugh let your lips. “Woojin, don’t play with my feelings. At least give me a warning before you practice your confession on me.”

He glanced away then looked straight into your eyes.

“Hey, Clara,” he began confidently.

You offered a thumbs up for encouragement.

“Don’t get me wrong, I think you’re an amazing person but, it isn’t working out between us-“

A frowned etched into your face and you reminded that it was love confession, not a breakup scene.

“I like your friend, y/n. So, please help me tell them to stop being so dense!”

I. Like. You.

What the hell.

“You don’t have to tell me anything now, or ever. I just wanted you to know,” he said. “Come on, let’s go back before they finish lunch.”

“Why do you like me?” you blurted out. “I mean, we hated each other from day one, remember?”

He shrugged, his cute shrug. “You are a lot different from the version that I ‘hated’. I think getting to know and understand you made me realise how much I enjoyed being together.”

“As for Clara, I was infatuated, we talked about it on one of our many yogurt smoothie encounters. She…likes someone else anyway, but I’m not hurt or anything.”

Even though your face burned and your head hung low, every single bone in your body was bursting with joy.

“I don’t know what to say,” you finally admitted.

Truthfully, your whole Daehwi crush had died down the more time you spent with Woojin. Daehwi was a good friend and Woojin? Well, you had to work that out.

“Can I get back to you on it? We live next door, we can talk any time,” you suggested shyly.

Woojin burst out laughing. “Woah. You gon’ break my heart just like that? Bold. I like it.”

Ahhh, my favourite side of Park Woojin is back.

Snickering, you fought back. “Can’t wait till I set your hair on fire and you’ll feel what it’s like to be…roasted.”

“Oops, forgot you feel that all the time whenever I’m around.”

Woojin rolled his eyes and smirked, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Funny, but you’re the one always getting clowned. Remember that time I threw slime into your hair, you never realised and your crush had to point it out to you? History can repeat itself today.”

Damn, now I’m going to lie awake tonight thinking about that incident.

“You better take that back before give you all the burnt meat today!” you declared. “God, I can’t stand you!”

Chortling, Woojin wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer. “Watch out for cars. Your blind ass is going to get run over one day.”

He leaned down to whisper in your ear, leaving a shiver running down your spine.

“You know you love me.”

Two fingers gently pinched his cheek in response.

“Please. I love barbecued meat more than you. Don’t get ahead of yourself.”

But secretly, once he was looking away, you grinned, stretching from ear to ear and your heart never felt warmer.

#kinda cute #made me want to go on a date

wannawrite

three

who?: Wanna One’s Park Woojin genre: 🌺 - I’ve never had one angst sticker by itself, rarely ever type: scenario, poem ? word count: 1.7K blog navigator. • it’s the goodbye you two never wanted • it’s the goodbye that’s for the best • it’s the goodbye you’re both tricking yourselves into believing it’s a ‘see you soon’ Iris @alliwannado-w1 \ @101mess wanted angst so angst she shall receive. I’m still not that great at writing angst? but I hope I didn’t disappoint you!! 💖 - Admin L

It’s been three minutes since I last saw your smile, the one you could feel happiness radiate off from a mile. The one that made your lips touch your ears, the one I often treasured so dear. Why? Why did it drop? Was it my fault? Was the news too much? Did I hurt you? Your lips moved, but nothing was projected, it was like you were in an area where talking is prohibited. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m going to be a trainee in Seoul.” I guess that was the sentence that left a big hole, the stab in your heart I could never fill. Was it time for me to write my will? “Why?” you asked, tears filling your eyes. “Why Seoul? Isn’t Busan good enough?” I felt torn, like your heart I shredded into two. It was my dream I wanted to pursue but then again, there was also you. My mirror is sick of me muttering to my reflection, trying to work up the courage to tell you and witness your reaction. It pained me to see your face stained with tears, hurting you was my biggest fear. But, I messed up again, I messed with your heart, I messed with your brain. I know that, and I will take all the blame. “I-it’s Brand New, I can’t refuse.” I was ready for it. I was ready for you to yell at me, to hit me, to scream at me, but none came, it was like you went mute. Our relationship was dangling right in front of my face, like a bait tempting me to hold on and await sure death. You inhaled a sharp breath, probably burning your throat and lungs, choking on the cool night breeze. “I won’t,” you replied instead. “I’m not that selfish. Go, I’ll let you go.” My heart sank, disappointment flooded me, but that was irrational, I had to think straight. You were doing what was deemed best in your head, at least you knew what you were thinking, I just felt my world sinking. I cleared my throat, and maybe my thoughts. “I can’t leave you.” Well, clearly not. You shook your head, quickly wiping away your tears. “Go, there’s no point in me going with you. I have a life too, Woojin.” You gave me a gentle shove, willing for me to go. “Move,” you had hissed. “Leave quickly before I change my mind!” I tried to give you a hug, but you wrenched out of my grip. Rather, I let you slip from my fingertips. I knew that was it. “This isn’t goodbye,” I reminded, begging you to keep my number, pleading with you to keep calling me. Yet, they fell on deaf ears, your heart icing over. Your unfamiliar steely gaze locked with mine. “Or is it, Woojin?” You were right, you were just doing this for me, not for us. It was the best for me but not for you. I stayed silent - that’s my regret. I should have kissed your lips one more time before I got on a train that sucked your soul away.

Day and night, the worries never stop. Every single one of them is twisted, and some were misted. Is he okay? Did he get on the right train? Did he eat well? His mother wasn’t there to cook for him. For the first couple of days, it felt as if you killed me inside. Then, I was glad when the land started to slide. It washed away my thoughts, theories and worries, mind scrubbed free of any trace of you. How long has it been? Three days? I suddenly couldn’t count, or I didn’t want to recount. I pushed you away to live in a foreign city, it was what you wanted, what I wanted for you, why is this bringing me misery? All over was on fire, I just wanted to forget. I didn’t burn any pictures or letters, just kept them tucked away in a box, locked up like Fort Knox. I wished I should have. If only I had the willpower and strength to let go of you. I have more than three problems, surprisingly, none of them is of you.

“Woojin-ah, how long has it been since you became a trainee?” Rhymer questioned me, scribbling on his sheet of paper. “Oh, three months,” I answered respectfully. Three months. Three monthly evaluations down. Three missed face times with you. Mainly because either you or I shut them down before the call was made. I gulped when my boss looked at me, analysing every detail of my form. “You’re good,” he praised. “I wasn’t expecting that, good job. I like it.” My body bowed, my face blushed pink. The rest of my friends and fellow trainees gaped in admiration. My hyungs clapped and so did Lee Daehwi, I find them some of the closest to me. Of course, it brought great joy to get recognition from the CEO, it made me happy to dance and rap in front of such people. I was grateful to be a trainee. This all came at a cost, a hefty price I had to pay, a burden that weighed my shoulders down. I upset you, I needed to repay you. So I worked harder than ever, dancing and rapping for what seemed like forever. I will make you proud. Not a single part of my body was spared, I ached all over but I had to let the fire in me scorch the neighbouring fields. My lips cracked, my mouth often ran dry but my rap was getting better. That was all that mattered. I won’t make you wait a lifetime to see my face once again. Perhaps not in real life but a TV screen would suffice. For now.

Never in my life, have I wanted to smash my television screen so badly. Never in my life had I wanted to break down in tears in front of my television. You were doing so well in Seoul, and I wished I could take a train out to see you. This felt all too new. Change is good, I can’t deny that. A change was coming soon. I knew you would debut. You were too good to overlook, why is your rank so low. This is unfair. Later, I asked myself why I cared about you still, didn’t I dig your grave and bury you myself? Why were you will present in my head? It wasn’t like we were still an item, maybe one that was badly smashed and then two fragments were on the display shelf, up for sale. What were you doing on a survival show? Why couldn’t Rhymer just debut the four of you? What was wrong with him? I wanted to defend you, and internally, I still sided with you. I voted for you, willing for your rank to go up. You deserved the world and I had to present it to you. I don’t know why I cared so much. Had it not nearly been 30 months? Why did I still care like it was 3 seconds since you kissed me and told me you loved me? I’m going crazy. That will never happen again.

I thought I would never see your face in real life again. I suppose the universe was tying our lives together, trying to stitch our broken hearts altogether. My jaw dropped, face covered with shock. You, you came to my group’s third fanmeet. You changed in many ways, but I hoped your heart still remained the same. As much as I wanted to pull you into an embrace, I couldn’t. I was supposed to have forgotten you, trampled on all our memories until they were dust and ashes in my mouth. That was what I regretted the most. “Woojin,” Your voice had not said my name for too long, I missed it dearly. “You’re doing amazing, I’m proud of you.” I could only smile, nothing more, nothing less. I could only admire you from a mile away, nothing nearer, nothing further. “Thank you.” Those were the only words my lips could let out. I wanted to tell you so much more, I had everything to tell you. I wanted to talk to you, I wanted to hold you and cuddle with you. You were right within my reach yet I let you go again. Why, why? Why was I still clinging to you after it had been so many years after our last ‘goodbye’? I said bye. You said bye. What was wrong with me? I felt my mind spin to craziness. Our past whispering in my ears as I fought to keep my tears at bay. “Do you…remember me?” I had to lie. Oh, how much more did I have to tell fibs? To be fake towards you? Forever? I wished I said ‘yes’, maybe your hopes wouldn’t have been completely crushed. Your eyes said it all, you and I took a fatal fall. We died from the impact, from the pressure. Apparently, we burst open and out poured, all of our secret wishes and words we wanted to say - those we should have said. I saw your face again in three years. I heard your honey voice call my name. Your eyes managed to align with mine and I’m thankful for that. However, it wasn’t really you. I must’ve been dreaming. It was someone like you but something special was missing. “Three years…” You were yelled at by security to keep moving and somehow, I wanted to shout back but I bit my tongue and held my breath. “It changes a lot in a person,” you whispered, smiling sadly. “Thank you, I’m sorry.” Then you moved to greet my hyung. I was so hung up on your words I could not sleep at all. Sleep wasn’t even an option offered to me. I tossed under my blanket, wide-eyed and wondering why. We were running in circles, or like in a maze, lost each other, lost our way. A never-ending cycle that often comes with trials and change. Some, we made over, others, you or I fell behind. Maybe, it was meant to be. Things that happened three years ago were nothing but memories. Things we couldn’t even bring back to life, things that caused us to lie. Three years was too long for anyone to endure anyway. I’m sorry. Three years was like a lifetime for us.

#wow #since when was i so emo #gg thru it #not bad

wannawrite

Crownless - KD

who?: Wanna One’s Kang Daniel genre: 🌺 type: scenario word count: 6.1K TW: gang au, violence, blood, hospitals, death

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The Royals PJH | PJH 2 | KD | KD 2 | PWJ

Crownless is the life a Royal had in their past - before crowns had been placed on their heads.

this little series is going to be more angsty because it is the past that is left behind. A good reason has to trigger the want to abandon something Hope you guys enjoy regardless!

- admin l

disclaimer: pictures used do not belong to me and credit goes to their original owners everything that is written here is purely fictional DO NOT READ IF TRIGGERING

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#not bad

thank you so much for everything

i started this account when i was 13, and now i’m 16 and i just graduated secondary school

thank you for allowing me to grow and to explore my interest in writing

thank you so much for your support, i’ll never forget the way you made me feel

thank you for being here

it’s been an honour

one last time :)

- admin L

#admin L #thank you #goodbye #wanna one #wannawrite #happy holidays!#i’ll miss this

god bless i’ve missed this blog

#but i don’t have time to come back #and so much has changed

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hmmm

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Prompt #468

“If I go on a date with you, will you bring the dog from your profile picture?”

yongs-archive-deactivated202101

#winwin

nctaezen

winwin — ready for take off

i’m sorry

hello...it’s me, admin l

i’m just here to say i’m really sorry for being inactive and leaving this to rot. i honestly don’t have a direction for this blog rn and i’m not sure what to do.

i’ve been super busy with school and music and everything else i just can’t find time to write...maybe bc i’m picky and i want my works to be the best that they can be

but i don’t want to deactivate this blog...for now it is my baby and i can’t let go of it so easily. i’m just unsure how much of my life i can dedicate to it again bc things have changed.

i’m thinking of writing for pdx101, but i’m not sure yet. if u have suggestions, please leave them!!

i’ll work it out and i hope i can figure something sustainable and healthy out :)

thanks, i’ll be back

#admin l #admin update #blog update #pdx101 #???#should i?#produce x 101