wapobmekei

[wapobmekei]

at day, i dont want to shit cause it feels like i have a lot of time

at night, i dont want to sleep cause it feels like im running out of time

[wapobmekei]

realizing my parents relationship is pretty dynamic

dad NEVER calls

mom used to call every few days until i pull bad kid rejecting parent card and she made it weekly and biweekly to give me space

dad is probably cause of the system and our family past making it hard for him to do anything

mom is a surprise, cause she clearly doesnt like me as a person, but cant stop her motherhood

[wapobmekei]

being gay is so queer

sometimes i imagine cutting ties completely with my entire family and relatives, even though they’re decent people, i find that thought very soothing and at ease, could be lonely, but i never been so freer

[wapobmekei]

it’s so funny when you’re in pain that something you like ain’t popular, esp as to other things that you find boring

> the simple ass solution would just be “free your suffering, be a fan of the other things that ARE popular”

>> but you just sitting there like “no tf? idgaf that it’s popular, I DONT LIKE IT”

haiz… the life of a human

[wapobmekei]

i ate heavy favor fried pork, jackfruit, and drank milk in the span of 1 hour

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO

right now my mouth taste is full of a mess

and in a few day my face will turn into a mess

LMAOOOOO I LOVE THIS LIFE HAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHE

[wapobmekei]

i wonder if people ever got into a situation where they found a really good story, then hearing it got dropped because of the author’s health condition, then… in the middle of ocean thoughts… they thought the author should get better just to finish the story, they scared the story wont be continued and cared more about the story than its author’s life.

i felt like this sometimes, i felt like a piece of shit after, yet i still had those thoughts sometimes

[wapobmekei]

>watched the kendama tut

>they said i should treat the ball as if it’s the egg and be gentle with it

>”WTF EGG?? how tf-“

>accidentally tried to be gentle

>succeeded

lmao

[wapobmekei]

tried to learn to love myself

>learned that you cant force love on anyone

>and it felt natural and right to hate each other gut

>although i knew damn well that at least i made myself happy, and im not as suck as other people

>decided to enter a slow burn with myself

>and slow burn is hard as shit

[wapobmekei]

to all my insecure

things i will do:

-try my best to accept, acknowledge, and embrace yall

-try my best to be at peace with yall

-try my best to normalize the rock

-try my best to normalize other people life without yall

-try my best to embrace each of our human different values and traits

things i won’t do:

-make a career out of yall

-put myself in shameful situations using yall

if situations where people humiliate me using yall occur:

-i will try my best to at peace with it

-i won’t deny angrily to ask for the awkwardness

-i won’t hurt myself further

[wapobmekei]

i did all the height medical checks today….

official forever a shortie ✌️🥲

goodbye fantasy

goodbye the good good life

i have so much regret, so much regret

but yeah

this is my life now

i either have to learn to be gin, or king charlie, or be a cat in a human world now

i either gotta idol ariana or hayao

which all could be interesting, but fuck it, the fantasy life of what could have been, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[wapobmekei]

wtf time is crazy, thought my last post was in last month, but no it’s in last year

[wapobmekei]

i currently have this symptom called “whataboutme-ism”, which makes me want to have a damn award and a giant clapping show for doing such simple minimum things because most people couldnt do it 🥲😭🙏

if i’m THIS thirsty for recognition, i need to give myself MUCH MORE self-praise than ever, cause damn 😭 how broken and cheap am i 🥲😭🙏

i literally have many more things that aint average and should be praised for, yet i never showed it out, and never got praise for it, AND never even praise myself for it, so now i forget all of it most of the time, and become extremely thirst for the most smallest things ever like cleaning yourself WHAT THE FUCK OH MY GOD I’M CRAZILY THIRSTY

[wapobmekei]

there’s this woman i really hate, i hate her the most in the friend group, yet the more time to come, she becomes more and more cool and caring, to me personally, which is driving me insane, i hate this bitch, why is she allowed to have fucking everything, smart and thoughtful? fuck her still, arrogant bitch, nepo bitch

[wapobmekei]

im really scared of not giving a fuck about my lifetime interests anymore one day, that’s a top fear there

my current solution is to start small, start simple, enjoy what i did, proud of how far i has come, and keep moving forward regardless of whether i can do it or not

if i fuck up, then i will have a “top terrible” award, if i make it, then i will have a “top amazing” award

as long as i feel joy and happy, even if it’s not all sunshine and rainbow

constant reassurance and remembering as second nature is such a real deal to a human being damn

[wapobmekei]

i love giving my stinky gross ass breath into my cat nose and face

sometimes it acts like a wall, sometimes it judges me, the whole thing is just so fun to do

[wapobmekei]

yes i think i belong to the big cities more than anything, but not the type of cities that full of cloud touching building, FUCK NO, they’re suffocating as hell

i like to live in a neighborhood that full of kind people so close to each other, lively and warm, and i indeed want to ride a bike and still get to see such lively spirit in milesss

[wapobmekei]

i think i have a lowkey love-hate relationship with trees too, and sand, and space.

i dont hate them as much as the water, i love them even, i like seeing them, i like thinking about them, i like visiting them, i like playing in them,…. they give me so much energy, happiness, and fun

i just dont like to get lost in them.

yeah i definitely dont like to camping in caves.

and so, i definitely do like mountains, they’re indeed can be dangerous, but it’s just up and down