𝕐𝕆𝕌ℕ𝔾 / 𝔸 𝕄𝔼ℕ𝔸ℕℂ𝔼

𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭, 𝘴𝘰 𝘐 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘺 𝘱𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘢𝘭.

[ofconflations]

admittedly, her short-lived interaction with noah hadn't left her mind since the fated morning she'd met him at the coffee shop. in her defense, she simply couldn't help herself. after all, abril was the expert in quixotism, which would surely become her own undoing. unfortunately, none of that it mattered to her. noah wasn't the first nor last person she'd get butterflies for, but that didn't mean she couldn't chase that high with him again. talking to someone she was attracted to seemed like the much better alternative than sitting and waiting around for the other hope mercer-sized shoe to drop. at noah's remark and monicker for her, she laughed softly before shaking her head at him. he was original, compared to her usual clientele. "don't you know? my amazing barista skills are actually a marketing strategy to keep you coming back for more. i'd apologize for ruining starbucks, but that was the plan all along."

[wastcdpotential]

"you're going to make a lot of teenage girls very unhappy," noah shook his head solemnly and clucked his tongue a few times. admittedly, he was a frequent customer, even though he thought starbucks' coffee was watered down swill, because their locations were always so goddamn convenient, but he wouldn't mind added 15 minutes to his commute for a little light flirting. "i hope you're being compensated fairly because you're one helluva promotion."

[ameliajroberts]

leni had lived alone since the day she turned eighteen and nothing really ever put her on the edge. maybe it was because she didn't care about whether she lived or died in the grand scheme of things but tonight she felt on edge. her body stiffened at the sound coming fron the living room of her apartment. she had just gotten out of the shower and slowly opened the door, peaking out. "if you're here to rob me, go ahead. i don't have shit to take so you might want to try a different place."

[wastcdpotential]

"you're security system," if you could call a lock that could be jimmied with a little finesse, a security system, "is fucked. seriously, at least get a dog if you aren't going to move." many years ago, when he still lived in his grandma's dilapidated pink trailer on the other side of town, they left the door open and kept a louisville slugger on hand. honestly, he felt a lot safer there than he did in his high-rise apartment with cameras and an automated security system—but still, you needed something to combat intruders. "i mean, think about what's going to happen to your shitty couch if you don't get a deadbolt."

[alecctoccarrow]

It was hardly her place to mettle, but with how Lucia adored Maya, how she looked at the other girl and her heart called her sister, Lucia would place one Noah Hayes so far down on her list of preferred patients he almost slid off the list entirely, finding himself forgotten. Perhaps Lucia would have forgotten him by now if he didn't make self-destruction such a habit.

Frowning at the young man that seemed determined to haunt the halls of her hospital, she took in the nod from the front desk that everything was signed and verified before Lucia sighed, jerking her head in a nonverbal request for him to follow her. "I think most of us know that, Noah," she sighed as she pulled her work station closer. "Any nausea, loss of balance, or unusual visual phenomena?"

[wastcdpotential]

had noah been a little more sober, he might've noticed that lucia wasn't exactly thrilled to see him—but, then again, he was used to being everyone's favorite fun-time guy, that he usually assumed people were upset about something else when his presence was met with a frown. he was a motherfuckin' delight, okay? he just...was also a terrible person. too bad there wasn't a cure for that laying around the er. "unusual visual phenomena," he repeated the words slowly, like they were in a foreign language, and blinked a few times, "like an angel?" a wide grin stretched across his face, reopening the cut on his bottom lip where his teeth clamped down in the crash, "'cause you definitely fell from heaven, doc."

[blakemcntgomery]

obviously julien hadn't listened to the podcast yet, because he didn't know what the hell noah was talking about. " what do you mean bold of me to still-- " his brows furrowed. " yeah, okay, if you wanna be so immature you can't even face me without hiding behind your napoleon complex comments, that's a you problem, not me, man. " he was about to just turn around and walk away from noah until he heard him say 'bleach' then the blood rushed to julien's face. " what the fuck did you just say? what do you mean bleach? "

[wastcdpotential]

noah let out little hiss with his tongue pressed against his front teeth, face twisted into an exaggerated grimace before his expression slid back into an obnoxious smirk, "i dunno about a napoleon complex—daddy issues, maybe, definitely a little bit of adhd, but at least my myriad of issues didn't make me into a murderer." his brow arched at the expression on julien's face; no face had ever quite fit the expression 'like he'd seen a ghost' as well as julien's face at the moment. "you didn't listen to this week's ep of mhc? congrats, man, you made the proverbial front cover."

[ultrcviolet]

❝            you got one thing going for ya. ❞ the playful nudge to his shoulder lingering for a moment. at attempt at comfort disguised. it had never been so complicated to touch noah. not even when it was some stupid revenge plot on hope mercer. it had all been superficial. ❝ god, ew. ❞ though he was probably right. it's not like there was a real passion behind it, as far as maeve knew. perhaps it was something that tied into the mentality that the funeral itself was comforting. ❝ only if you get caught and it becomes some big thing. like how people kept trying to scatter ashes at disneyland at they closed rides and shit. shut down hot topic or don't even try. ❞

[wastcdpotential]

"yeah, worst come to worst" noah smirked a little and bumped her shoulder back, "at least i'm a certified hottie." he'd realized over the past couple weeks how touch-starved he'd become, which was quite a realization because before the entire town got turned upside down with hope's murder, he rarely spent his nights alone. there was a difference between sex and intimacy; he'd never thought that he was missing out on anything before. "shut down your favorite place?" he arched a brow and shook his head slightly, "shouldn't i try to shut down like...vatican city or something? if the point is to truly honor your memory."

[salvcticns]

ever since the podcast episode was released, everyone was treating her differently, even if they weren't trying to. other than the obvious gossiping that had been going on in the town, her parents were almost walking on eggshells around her and everyone at the hospital could barely look her in the eyes and the younger medical students all would scatter as soon as they saw her. did they truly think maya could do something like that? even now she was starting to doubt herself and wondered if maybe she had blocked the memories from the bonfire to protect herself from the horrors of what she was capable of. she didn't like hope but she never wanted her to die, at least she didn't think so.

she was taken aback to see noah on her doorstep, of all the people that she would have expected, he probably would have been last on her list. maya almost laughed; it was clear from her appearance how she was doing ⎯ dark shadows under her eyes, her hair messy and unbrushed, wearing the same sweats and old tee for the past few days. "well, people think that i might be a murderer so i'm doing as well as one can be." the mention of one of her less finer moments that had been immortalised in the form of video made maya flinch slightly. she sighed, "what do you want, noah? is this your way of apologising because i think we're a bit too late for that?"

[wastcdpotential]

"people also think that the earth is flat and balenciaga isn't ugly as fuck," noah snapped instinctively before swallowing the irritation in his sternum and letting out a ragged exhale. truthfully, he was only so enraged because he knew that this entire fuckfest was at least 80% his fault if not entirely. people pointed their cameras at maya because she'd made the most noise ( and fuck he'd forgotten how much noise and how chilling it'd been, like a rabbit that knew it was about to die ), but that night was one of noah's worst performances as a human being. hope, at least, wasn't maya's friend, and she certainly never loved her. noah, however, had just stood there, hand sweaty in hope's grasp, and watched her self-implode. "fine," the corner of his mouth lifted slightly, "i won't apologize. i can be as obnoxious as you want me to be, and then you can hit me for real."

[ravensrevcnge]

Noah had always had that 'I don't give a fuck' energy, and in many ways Topher couldn't relate. How could someone go through life without seemingly caring about anything? And for someone who had been in a relationship with the girl that was about to be buried six feet under, drinking oneself silly and threatening to run people over with your car didn't exactly seem...respectful. But Topher was trying his best not to make judgements on the way people behaved when dealing with tragedy.

"You know that people go to funerals to support family and friends of the deceased even if they didn't personally know the deceased, right?"

[wastcdpotential]

so maybe noah had already gotten a head-start on the drinking. in fact, he was pretty sure he might die if he didn't continue, so the church either needed to cough up some ceremonial jesus blood or he was going to spend eternity sharing a coffin with hope. he was pretty sure she'd love that if it didn't mean he'd ruin the white silk lining with the lingering scent of cigarette smoke. "don't you know that the mercers don't have friends," he clicked his tongue against the back of his front teeth and shook his head, jaw ground tight, "worshipers, sure, devotees, maybe even some stalkers, but friends? absolutely fuckin' not."

[wastcdpotential]

@devilsrow noah made it through the entire memorial service without causing a scene. of course, it helped that the chronicle decided to make a scene and accuse all of hope's other ex-boyfriends, but still. he was pretty sure that earned him at least one get-out-jail-free card. like now. "so, i know it looks bad," noah put on his big, innocent eyes and crooked grin, the one that got him out of almost anything when he little and lost his two front teeth, "but it's not my fault. the guy was totally asking for it, and, if anything, i was doing a public service."

[alecctoccarrow]

open starter for anyone interested! when: post-funeral, within a week where: at the mercer hollow hospital

Certain times of the year were always a miserable time to work in the medical field. Saint Patrick's Day, New Years, and just about any other holiday one could imagine produced a mess concocted from the worst slurry of idiocy, desperation, and emotion possible. Now, so soon after the funeral of Hope Mercer, Lucia had been dreading clocking back in for her shift. It had been hours now since she'd arrived but Lucia still sat perched on pins and needles for something to happen. One didn't make it this far in this field without trusting one's gut and as she turned around, her stomach sank to her toes. "What are you doing here?" She asked in amazement, before looking at the front desk for confirmation everything was alright. Lucia sighed, sliding into her professional visage. "Come with me, I'll get you check out and you can explain how that," she said with a nod, "happened."

[wastcdpotential]

noah needed to look into an er punch card because he had to be close to his free visit. he was just accident-prone...and reckless...and under the influence of something, whether it be alcohol or his own stupidity, at least half the time. maybe, he was tempting fate, or maybe he was just trying to feel something painful enough to distract from all the other bullshit going on inside his head—in noah's opinion, he was just trying to beat the red light. "well, it's a funny story, doc," noah grinned, blood in teeth and trickling sluggishly from his nose, "apparently all-terrain doesn't mean metal poles. who knew."

[heartsfms]

her eyes flicked over to the cigarette box in noah's hand, before her shoulders shrugged. she reached out a hand expectantly. " go on then, hand one over. you can never have too much stress relief. " especially not when hiding out at your best friends funeral to take a drink away from prying eyes, that would only make up conspiracies if they caught you trying to numb the pain in any way. lori knew that noah got it, got her and how she was feeling now ; he may not have been her most recent boyfriend, but he had been once, and he had loved her in his own way, even if that love had changed over time. " well she isn't wrong, the smell alone is far from enjoyable, and definitely not sexy. " a little hypocritical of the woman about to light one up of her own, but she wasn't wrong.

[wastcdpotential]

he gave lori his last cigarette and lit it with a lighter he swiped from a gas station even though he had plenty of money to pay for it. he couldn't explain why he still did shit like that at twenty-five, just like he couldn't explain why he didn't quit smoking until after hope broke up with him. "what the fuck, rhodes?" noah grinned slightly and took a long drag, "i've seen grease—alright, i've seen parts of grease, and the entire point is that smoking is sexy as fuck. and james dean? easily the sexiest man to have ever lived."

it’s pathetic and she hates herself for it, but she could swear her heart skipped a beat at the sight of his smile. she needs a lobotomy ⎯ stat. no maya, focus. get yourself together. she had to remember the reason why she had taken up boxing in the first place. all that anger after the break up that lead her down a path of destruction and self-pity, and eventually channelled into something more productive, though perhaps more violent. that fire inside of her that was eating her up turned out to be a good motivator for classes. who needed pre-workout when you had pure rage?

she straightened up, planting both of her feet shoulder width apart with one foot slightly in front of the other, hands in fists just above her chin and her eyes hardened with focus. she inhaled and on her exhale, her fist connected against noah’s palm. she grinned and pretended to dust her fists on her shirt. “it kinda helps when my imaginary target is standing in front of me. you’re lucky i have good aim.”

[wastcdpotential]

"yeah," noah let out a low chuckle and flickered his gaze to his untied shoelace, like suddenly the scuffed toes of his sneakers were the most fascinating thing he'd ever seen, "i deserve that." he deserved a lot more, actually. one time, he forgot that he was supposed to pick up hope from a party, and she woke him up with by throwing one of his shoes at his head and a framed picture of them together that barely missed his hairline. if hope had even thought he'd fucked around while they were together, he had a feeling that he wouldn't still be standing here in one piece—but that was why he wanted to be with her. they were equally disastrous people who were used to leaving ruin in their wake—and maya was...not that. it was just a shame that it took him ruining them for him to realize it. "well," he cleared his throat and blinked a few times, suddenly struck with the urge to cry like a little boy lost in the grocery store and not understanding why, "you can break my nose if you want to. it's already fucked up from when i learned to drive." he taught himself, of course. his dad hadn't ever stepped foot into his life, and his mom was...somewhere in europe. evidently, getting high on poorly cut coke wasn't trashy when you were in barcelona. noah shot her a little, crooked grin, but his eyes remained glassy, "maybe, it'll reset straight this time. then, i'll be unstoppable."

[wastcdpotential]

@ofconflations maybe, it was selfish ( selfish was the thing noah hayes did best ), but the worst form his grief had taken was thinking. lately, he had been thinking far too much and far too often about things he'd banished to the dark recesses of his mind ages ago. drinking wasn't shutting it off, not completely, and smoking had just reignited his seasonal asthma, so he was left with one vice to chase down. "hey," he glanced up from his phone screen and grinned at the familiar face, "diabetic killer, i've got a serious bone to pick with you. did you know that you've ruined starbucks for me? there's one of those fuckers on every corner, and all of them are completely toast thanks to your barista skills."

[wastcdpotential]

ꭺ ꭰꮜꮇᏼꭺꮪꮪ' ꮲꮮꭺꭹꮮꮖꮪꭲ ꮁ̵ꭲ. ᏼꭱꮖꭼꮁ̵ ꮇꮻꮇꭼɴꭲꮪ ꮻꮁ̵ ꮪꮖɴꮯꭼꭱꮖꭲꭹ: 001

01. a little less sixteen candles, a little more “touch me” — fall out boy

“ you're just the girl all the boys want to dance with and i'm just the boy who's had too many chances write me off, give up on me cause darling what did you expect i'm just off, a lost cause a long shot, don't even take this bet. ”

02. all these things that i have done — the killers

“ another head aches, another heart breaks i am so much older than i can take and my affection, well it comes and goes i need direction to perfection, no no no no, help me out. ”

03. what’s my age again — blink 182

" nobody likes you when you're twenty three and you still act like you're in freshman year what the hell is wrong with me? ” 

04. fat lip — sum 41

“ don't count on me, i'll do it again don't count on me, it's the point you're missing don't count on me, cause i'm not listening well i'm a no goody lower middle class brat, back packed and i don't give a shit about nothing. ”

05. betty — taylor swift

" the worst thing that I ever did was what i did to you would you trust me if i told you it was just a summer thing? i'm only seventeen i don't know anything but i know i miss you. "

06. therapy — all time low

" arrogant boy love yourself so no one has to they're better off without you. "

07. fake happy — paramore

" i love making you believe what you get is what you see but i'm so fake happy i feel so fake happy and i bet everybody here is just as insincere. "

08. how could you leave us — nf

" i got this picture in my room, and it kills me but i don't need a picture of my mom, i need the real thing now a relationship is something we won't ever have why do i feel like i lost something that i never had? "

09. someone you loved — lewis capaldi

" i guess i kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain i'm going under and this time i fear there's no one to turn to this all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping without you i was getting kinda used to being someone you loved. "

10. no heart to speak of — blink-182

" photographs of you are still haunting my halls still framed and blue, say nothing at all sacrifice myself, leave me dead in the sun put it on a shelf, leave it there for everyone to see is that all you have, is that all you have to say? "

[wastcdpotential]

@embcrs noah had never given much thought about if he was a good person before. he was a fun person, a generally likable person, an incredibly fuckable person. those things all seemed infinitely more important than being good before all of this. he took one psych class in college, and the only thing he remembered between all the hangovers and missed alarms was what's-his-name kohlberg. he created this whole scheme of moral reasoning with three levels. when people were little, they based their moral decisions around gaining rewards and avoiding punishment ( a phase noah seemed to be stuck in ). when people got a little older, they saw everything as black and white, good or bad. by the time he turned thirteen, he was supposed to be capable of constructing a 'wider picture' where morality exists on a spectrum of circumstance and understanding. the other thing noah remembered was that kohlberg killed himself. maybe, that's all that came from looking at the 'wider picture', weighing how much bad he did against how much bad he grew up with. it didn't feel so complicated when he looked at maya. in her story, he was the bad guy. he hadn't ever been the villain before, and wouldn't you know the audience to his debut would be the only girl he ever loved. how exactly did that happen? why the fuck did people always hurt the people they loved the most in the most devastating ways? where was that in kohlberg's morality pyramid? in the end, he wasn't sure if he showed up on her doorstep for her or for him. maybe, that was an answer in and of itself. "hey," he cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck, "i wanted..." it took a minute to find the words because, as always, he wasn't entirely sure what he wanted. "i just wanted to see how you were doing. i know it was a long time ago...but still. being put on blast sucks." especially, for something that was ultimately not her fault.

[amaryllvs]

that set of hazel hues briefly glanced over at him while the corner of her lips turned upwards, "why are they continuing to look when the psycho is right here? be a gentleman and sneak me in some tequila. i'll show them," amaryllis' voice lowered as she spoke. if there was one thing she didn't want to do, it was bring too much attention to herself at a funeral. but the joke left her lips before she had a chance to reel it in. she had to cope somehow. "she totally would love that. i mean there's still time for them to duke it out." a brief pause followed that comment, "who do you think would come out victorious? the man violently sobbing over there and clutching that photo of hope," she flicked her chin up and towards the man in question. "... or do we think mama mercer would come in with the wwe flying elbow and win the glory?"

[wastcdpotential]

noah snickered and then winked at the wrinkled old lady who turned to glare at him. hope probably would've preferred that he sobbed hysterically over her casket, but whatever. she was the one who dumped him; the dumpee was allowed at least one laugh at their dumper's funeral, right? "ellis, i am a lot of things, but a gentleman i am not," he gave her a wry grin for good measure and snagged on of the stuffed mushrooms coming around on a silver catering platter. "mrs. mercer, easily. she scared the fuck out of me when i first started dating hope." publicly, at least. veronica kind of liked him before she knew he was sleeping with her daughter. "i would pay good fuckin' money to see her bitchslap theo."

[ultrcviolet]

❝            we’re not winning any ‘ outstanding citizens ’ awards, that’s for sure. ❞ it seemed so stupid now. using each other to get back at hope in their own ways, standing together at her funeral. she took the flask back, immediately taking a sip of her own in an attempt to drown out the thoughts creeping up. though hope had proven they were not as invincible as they believed themselves to be, it was still unsettling listening to the boy only a few years older than her talking about his funeral. ❝ noted. ❞ which should have been the end of the topic. ❝ cremated, huh ? you don’t want those creepy strangers at the morgue to put makeup on you, style your hair and dress you like some weird little doll ? ❞ she wasn’t even completely sure it was the people at the morgue that did that. all she knew is that she didn’t want it. ❝ i don’t want a funeral at all. they just comfort the living that care and well… ❞ her shoulders shrugged instead of finishing, tucking the flask back into her jacket. ❝ i’d want someone to scatter my ashes somewhere far away from here. somewhere really cool. ❞

[wastcdpotential]

noah tipped his head back agains the wall and let the heaviness of his lids take over until his unreasonably long lashes rested against the dark circles under his eyes. "good thing life's a beauty contest," he hummed quietly, corner of his mouth twitching into a small smirk. that was half the reason people loved hope, whether they wanted to admit or not. she was sure nice to look at, even when she was throwing one of your limited edition air jordan's at your head. "you know half of them are totally into it, right? that has to be a statistic somewhere: go with a funeral home, and there's 50% chance you'll get fucked over even when your dead." he couldn't imagine any other reason you'd want to play with dead people all day, but insight into the human mind wasn't really his forte. probably why he couldn't figure out why he was still here. he had the money to go anywhere he wanted now, and here he was: same shitty town with the same shitty people. "i'll make sure to take a baggie of you to hot topic if you go first."

[blakemcntgomery]

admittedly, julien was kind of spaced out. it was one of those moments where he was questioning if all of this was a dream or reality, only snapped out of it when hearing noah’s voice. “ bold of you to be talking to me today of all days, but would this thing really be bearable without alcohol? “ he attempted to joke, even in a time like this, it was julien’s safety net. “ can you run me over after them? “ another joke, that one, probably in poor taste. 

[wastcdpotential]

had noah not just listened to mercer hollow's shittiest detectives' latest podcast episode, he might feel a little more apologetic. he did, after all, fuck the guy's girlfriend; feeling a little shame was the absolute least he could do. on the other hand, maybe julien actually did kill hope, and noah wasn't the worst guy in the room. "bold of you to still be here," noah clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, "i would've bounced." he snorted despite the general moroseness of the situation and patted his suit pockets until he found his box of newports, "depends, you still got any of that bleach? 'cause i just got my jeep detailed."