Exactly one month ago, I called my Dad for some advice on discouragement. He offers a recommendation for a book, which I had picked up at the library later that week. He also tells me that over the past few years, heās memorized one new bible verse, every month. During times of trial, he repeats them in his head. āUgh, I donāt think Iāll try that right now..ā, I responded with this because Iām a āmillennialā and expected an easier solution for āinstant gratificationā. When I had got off the phone with him, I decided to choose at random and start my first bible devotional. If I dive deep into research with my other weird interests, I should probably give Jesus Christ the same respect. So there I was, reading the first bible verse that was used to depict part of a 7-day devotional on āComing Cleanā:
āNow may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.ā Romans 15:13
A little voice popped in my head, āMemorize this oneā. I had texted my Dad in hopes to redeem myself for the way I had unthanked him earlier for his advice. As short and simple the verse seemed, I had difficulty quickly memorizing it. Suddenly, I started to FEEL itās meaning. Once I understood, I was able to repeat it enough times in my head, that I donāt even remember falling asleep.
The next morning at work, theĀ āmemorization taskā gave me an enough reason to be annoyingly excited, and share it with my coworker. She is truly my partner in crime, and although, I would like to consider her āagnosticā, she doesnāt judge my excitement over this journey with Jesus. Just as I do not judge her for her choices. Iāve shared the memorized verse twice, from then to now. During the times that I have said them out loud, I physically felt encouragement. Even if it was just a feeling shared with only myself.
Two weeks ago, I wanted to attend power-hour (meditation/worship on Saturday mornings) at church, because I felt like I needed to show my appreciation, and be somewhere Iāve seen His light shine in magnitude. I was distracted that day, because it felt as though I could feel everyoneās pain. I had a dire need to help. My Dad, who attended with me, shared his prayer request. At that moment, I felt it would be of great impact, if I would share my memorized verse. Iāll have you know, my Dad and I have trouble focusing sometimes. I could tell by his gaze at somewhere else, that he had heard me, but didnāt feel itās meaning. I donāt blame him though, we both do the same thing. I left church that day hearing God speak to me. He told me āLift everyone else to ME, and Keep your focus on ME only. The rest will follow...But lets start with you first.āĀ
The next day, at Sunday service, my Dad opens up the next blank page in his journal, for the dayās notes. This is one of those journals with an inspirational bible verse at the bottom of each page. Low and behold, thereās my memorized verse at the bottom of it. He shares it with me, as he now feels itās meaning, and I annoyingly remind him,Ā āDad, I tried to share that with you yesterday!!ā Heās embarrassed, but not for long because we both feel the Divine comfort without needing to say any words. We both know that, this was is His doing.
This week, Iāve really struggled again with being discouraged. To the point, where I am on my knees asking for āinstant gratificationā. More discouraged now, than I thought I felt a month ago. On my way home from work today, I hear the song, āSymbols and Signsā by Beautiful Eulogy. Itās in the style of spoken-word, by educated Christians (I say this because itās important to me). I was convicted...I base too much on waiting for symbols and signs. Funny enough, a week ago, I wrote about how Iām being led by symbolism around me. The point Iām trying to make is, some times I pray and wait for the specifics to go āMY WAYā, in order to push me where I WANT to go. Signs, by all means, are real, we just have to decipher the true origin.
Alright, now letās flash back to the book I had mentioned in the beginning of my story. You remember, the one my Dad recommended for me when I was being an ungrateful brat. Well this book, is a fairly easy read. For some odd reason though, I have had tremendous difficulty finishing it. I donāt know what it is, because with other āself-helpā books, I usually eagerly zoom through them. This was my first christian-based self-help book and Iāve only been able to read a few pages at a time. Mind you though, each time I pick it up, it reflects an issue I am currently going through that day. Itās all been His plan the entire time! By the way, I owe 60 cents to library because I forgot to renew the book. Just to give you an idea on how much trouble Iāve had trying to finish it. Today, I had a deep hunger to continue reading more and more. Through each word, it started to end the bad thoughts Iāve built up during the past two days. And I mean to the tee, using the same words I would as if I were speaking to myself. Iām getting closer to the end of the book now, and the author briefly talks about memorizing verses. He then says how he was sent MY MEMORIZED VERSE!Ā I literally put the book down and drop down to my knees. I felt so embarrassed for my lack of faith, and my lack of focus on HIM. Iāll admit I hadnāt thought about the verse since two weeks ago at church with my Dad. While Iām at the brink of being discouraged away from Him, Iām reminded that this is all part of his Divine Purpose. He never has and never will forsake me!
Hope is important, in all aspects of our lives. Without it, we have absolutely no meaning to keep striving. There are times where we need that Divine comfort. I am thankful I can all upon the Holy Spirit when I canāt provide hope for myself.
What a season of more growing and learning this has been! I am truly grateful for his Mercy, and the way He knows me better than I know myself. All the more reason that He is the BEST life coach!
I Thank You Heavenly Father Jesus Christ...