Hey guys so I’ve actually been trying to become healthier and reject my ed. I know this account has had a lot of pro-ana stuff and while I tried to convince myself that it was just a place to vent the truth is that the fact that it was public shows that I was really just trying to find other people to validate my (toxic) feelings. I’m not actually sure how to delete this account without deleting the page that I use regularly now that it is somehow linked to this one, but if someone could tell me that would be great. I want every single person reading this to know that you are beautiful and amazing no matter what you think. I developed my ed partially as an effect of being an extreme perfectionist, partially because I needed something I could “control”, and partially because I have always hated the way I looked and thought I would be happy if I fit some arbitrary beauty standard. My ed has severely harmed me, my health, and my self esteem. I know that the majority of the people reading this won’t take it to heart, but I am begging you to listen to me, and your body. Recovering from an ed is really a personal journey, and nothing anyone else says can spark you to start moving towards recovery, at least in my experience. Despite this, I’d like to talk to everyone about my own ed, and my experience, hopefully so that I can help at least one person start to heal. I know ed’s can act as a form of comfort for people, but trust me when I say you will be so much happier if you abandon that safety blanket. I know there is also a mindset that being skinny is better or more important than being happy, but that is a lie made up by your mental illness. I know that there will never be a point where you are happy with your body and the amount of weight you’ve lost, you will never see yourself as pretty or skinny as long as you give into your ed. I know that there are very few people who understand what it’s like to have an ed, that it is often villainized and that lack of support from people who don’t understand your experience can push you away from seeking recovery. I know how isolating, embarrassing, and lonely ed’s can be. I don’t plan on deleting anything from my blog as of now, however that may change in the future. I want to turn this page into an opportunity for people to witness my healing process, and hopefully learn from it. People with ed’s are not evil, and you all deserve an opportunity to be truly happy.
