ava🥀

23 - mentally ill but in the cool way (sometimes) - dms welcome:)

[waveofava]

befriended a man.

worried man was hitting on me.

man mentions his fiance VERY quickly. i am relieved.

man sends me good morning text.

man texts me a bit too much and is a bit overly excited to see me at his job (we met at his job i am a frequent shopper)

concerned?

[waveofava]

chat a boy invited me to a concert and i meant to tell him i couldn't go like a week ago but now it's less than a week away and he's asking if i can go and by all technicality i am available but i don't know if i want to 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[waveofava]

officially agreed to go and he told me to wear something i don't care about bc "the blood comes out but not easily" I BEG YOUR PARDON???

[waveofava]

one of my favorite songs rn is by my favorite rappers ex gf and also it's absolutely a diss toward him there's a direct callout to his song about her that i also love. they are both small artists. i feel like a child of divorce? i feel like mom and dad hate each other and im not supposed to pick a side?

[waveofava]

i don't need rest i need caffeine

[waveofava]

i would like to not be wildly depressed.

[waveofava]

i'm desperate for connection to fill a void

[waveofava]

lost my pride today (but only tumblr will know so i don't even have to be embarrassed about it with my irls) and texted him from another number just to see if he'd respond. i just said hey. i don't even know what i really wanted to accomplish he doesn't know it was me. but somehow seeing a typo in his response made me feel better? like i don't need that dumbass man he can't even say "who is this i deleted a lot of contacts" properly

[waveofava]

chat a boy invited me to a concert and i meant to tell him i couldn't go like a week ago but now it's less than a week away and he's asking if i can go and by all technicality i am available but i don't know if i want to 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[waveofava]

was supposed to get to the skate rink at 6. it's 6:15. can't even leave yet. rink is a 12 minute drive. they're only open from 6-8 today. there's literally not even going to be a point

[importantdogimages]

[waveofava]

i don't love the new waterparks album the way i thought i would lol

[waveofava]

i feel so empty

[waveofava]

i don't know how to fix my brain rn i think my saturdays are cursed?

[waveofava]

came to sit in a comfort lot and there's a possibility my ex is sitting very nearby i'm not close enough to see their face but they are built like them so idk but i'm trying to ignore it

[waveofava]

i just want to feel like someone gives a fuck like i'm someone's priority. why is that so impossible why do i just give and give and give

[waveofava]

if i'm still yapping, you can still fix it. once i've gone silent it's over. no matter how many times i say im done, im not if im still talking about it man.

[waveofava]

my mom keeps not doing things with me due to reasons that tie back to my father and it is envoking such a rage in me