I don’t know how to start a conversation with you anymore. Should I say hello? Or should I start with an apology? I wanna start with the latter, but why is it always me apologizing first? We both know how I get when I’m upset. You caught me on a bad day and made things worse for me. I’m sorry for the things I said— things I didn’t mean. I just wish you’d put yourself in my shoes. To me, you’ve never been that friend who sympathizes what others must be going through. But that’s just who you are and I can’t change that about you. I just gotta love you for who and what you are— personality and all. That’s what friends are for, but my pride is getting in the way right now. I’m never usually like this, but damn... I just wish someone would really make an effort for me because I am a kind, loving, selfless person. I’m sincere. And I’ll tell you everything you need to hear. Please. I miss you so damn much. And if you’re reading this, just know I’m terribly sorry. I know I can be toxic at times, but I’m trying to find my antidote. I also want you to know that just because we don’t talk anymore, doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. In the midst of all this, I hope you’re being safe, living life still to the fullest, and not letting the small things get you down like rude ass people. Ignore them. We don’t know what they’re going through. And sometimes, it’s okay to be the punching bag. Take the blame, take the hit, take the darkness because you can handle it. You’re strong enough to stay soft. That’s not a curse. It’s a blessing.
