wayne quotes 🔨

delwayne you will always be famous

[wayne-quotes]

Del: You think of somebody? Character or whatever?

Wayne: Conan.

Del: O’Brien?

Wayne: The Barbarian.

[wayne-quotes]

Orlando: Wayne’s my boy. Whatever you think he did, he’s innocent.

Officer Jay: You do know that he burned down his house with his dad inside, assaulted a man and his boys, bit his nose off, and kidnapped his daughter.

[wayne-quotes]

Lunch Lady: Never ate with utensils. He’s like an animal.

Student: I once saw him hammer a #2 pencil into a dude’s hand.

Scott: He burned his dad alive. You know that, right? Set him on fire.

Darren: He once ate a frog in class, but not, like biology class. In english class.

Sgt. Geller: Utensils or no utensils?

Lunch Lady: Never seen him eat a vegetable, but did see him stab a kid in the eye with a carrot.

Darren: He beat up my dad, I- I mean my dad’s an asshole, but… It ruined Easter.

[wayne-quotes]

Del: I’m gonna blast the heat when we get in there. Then a hot shower, then HBO.

Wayne: I’m gonna smell the soaps.

Del: You’re weird, man.

[wayne-quotes]

Del: I don’t wanna be a 41 year old single crackhead waitress with regrets.

Wayne: Me neither.

[wayne-quotes]

Del: I’m weird. And fucked up. So…

Wayne: I stabbed a knife through my own hand.

[wayne-quotes]

Tracey: Move aside, bitch! *dropkicks Kyra.*

Wayne & Del: …

Tracey: So what do you guys wanna do now? Wanna get high or something?

[wayne-quotes]

Corey: Are you Wayne’s girl?

Del: Yeah, who the fuck are you?

Jamie: Um, I’m so sorry-

Corey: He loved you so much…

Jamie: I didn’t, I didn’t mean to, it just- We just…

[wayne-quotes]

Tracey: He hates coffee.

Del: What?

Tracey: Boyfriend? I tried to pour him another cup and he acted like I pissed in it. He choked down three cups for you.

Del: Stay outta my business.

Tracey: Listen, I’m 41. I have a new job every two weeks and a new boyfriend every other. Just don’t blow everything up before it has a chance to maybe be good.

[wayne-quotes]

Lee: She’s a vegan. And a Satanist.

[wayne-quotes]

Lee: I’m fairly upset.

Wayne: *tied to a chair* Me too.

[wayne-quotes]

Tracey: I hope you got Obamacare, bitch.

Del: Hope you got Medicare, you old fuck.

[wayne-quotes]

Wayne: It’s weird, okay? For me.

Del: Weird? It’s weird for you? I mean you can lay my brothers out, you can bite my dad’s goddamn nose off, do whatever you did to that guy who was being mean to some lady— and how’s he doin’ by the way?

Wayne: Not good.

Del: Yeah, not good. Of course he isn’t. You can do all that, but you can’t buy me some fucking tampons?

[wayne-quotes]

Tracey: What you don’t like coffee all of the sudden or something?

Wayne: I haven’t tasted anything worse than coffee.

Tracey: You drank three cups earlier! …Oh shit. You got it bad for that bitch.

[wayne-quotes]

Tracey: I don’t think she’s coming back, kid.

Tracey: More coffee? *pours coffee on Wayne’s hand.*

Tracey: Fuck, shit, holy shit. Kid, fuck, didn’t that hurt?

Wayne: Yes.

[wayne-quotes]

Del: Well you gonna, like, go back for the funeral or whatever?

Wayne: Uh, no. I don’t think so.

Del: Don’t you wanna like, I dunno, dress him up in a suit? Have some priest say some shit about God and stuff?

Wayne: I poured gasoline on the house and him and lit it on fire.

Del: Okay. No priest then.

[wayne-quotes]

Tracey: How old are you?

Del: I dunno, how old are you?

Tracey: Well you’re a little young to be drinking coffee is all.

Del: And you’re a little old to be wearing that choker is all, but the heart wants what the heart wants, right Tracey?