Today's Document
Janaina Medeiros
roma★
Origami Around
Discoholic 🪩
blake kathryn
if i look back, i am lost
Not today Justin
todays bird
YOU ARE THE REASON
cherry valley forever
Monterey Bay Aquarium
occasionally subtle
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
trying on a metaphor
PR's Tumblrdome
Keni
ellievsbear
noise dept.
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from Italy
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from Canada
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from France
seen from United States
seen from Canada
@waynethings
bruce whos been awake for 56 hours: cass can you pass me the case file?
damian: ...what
bruce: sorry i mean jason,wait no, dick. uhm Stephanie, i mean tim, no wait duke. alfred? no uhm barbara. wait ace.
damian:thats our dog father
bruce:alfred pennyworth the cat?
damian:
bruce: damian, i mean damian.
damian: leaves.
bonus!!:
bruce whos been awake for 56 hours: cass can you pass me the case file?
tim whos also been awake for 56 hours: sure thing clark one washing machine coming up.
Jason: *absently* I fucking hate the knowledge of what is happening to my skeleton when I rotate my forearm
Dick: just once I’d like to not have you remind me of something I happily forgot
( Tim, Damian, Jason, Steph and Bruce sat at the breakfast table )
( Damian and Tim make eye-contact )
Tim: ( starts screaming )
Damian: ( starts screaming even louder to assert dominance)
Jason: not this shit again
Bruce: should we do something
Steph: no, no I want to see who wins
( Damian stops screaming and Steph slides Jason a tenner over the counter )
Jason: I told you Tim would win this time
Stephanie brown!! The goat
BATGIRLS !!
"what does Alfred look like in your recent fic?" thank you for asking, great question. I've been referring to him as "Jeremy Irons if he was John Wick" so here are some photos that guided me.
scenarios that happened in the league of assassins that Jason and Damian won't admit to because they're little shits pt.3
Jason: *whispering* Uncle Dusan looks like he's about to fall over.
Damian: *in a similar hushed tone* Can you blame him? You know how Grandfather loves to drone on during meetings. It is the one time we are forced to listen to him without interruption.
Jason: *placing a pea on a spoon, preparing to fire it*
Damian: *whispering in a hurried voice* Akhi, what are you doing with your dinner?
Jason: Saving us from another boring meeting *flicks it at Uncle Dusan who flinches and wipes his drool from his lips*
Damian: *coughing to cover his giggle* Impressive aim.
Jason: *readying his spoon again* Mara looks murderous. She hasn’t stopped glaring since this shit started.
Damian: It is not like I intended to blind her. She should have dodged it.
Jason: Uh where the fuck was I for this? I don't remember-
Ra al Ghul: *standing at the head of the table* Jason. Is there a question that you yearn to have answered? You appear to be quite distracted when you should be paying attention given your position as Head Guard.
Jason: Sure do. So when you say Head Guard, that means like total control right? How many vacation days does that allocate-
Damian: Jesus Christ.
Jason: *continuing* It’s a valid question, Dami. Corporate America has ruined the world. We gotta get better benefits. What’s our dental like because this tooth has been decaying like a wet tictac-Wait can the Pit fix my tooth?
Ra al Ghul: *twitching* How insightful. Yes…I shall inform you as soon as I confirm with my members. Anything else?
Jason: *saluting* No, my Liege. Only that these peas are divine. My compliments to your chef. Continue, you’re doing great.
Ra al Ghul: *tiredly* Of course....As I was saying....
Damian: *lowering his voice* My liege? Where did you pull that from?
Jason: My ass. Ever heard of Attack on Titan? *launching another pea at Dusan but the spoon slips from his hand and flies across the table* Oh shit.
Dusan al Ghul: * awakening and screaming, flailing his arms* Guards! We are under attack! Secure my child immediately!
Damian: *covering his face* Oh for fucks sake, Jason. Why would you-
*several guards rush in with weapons, the members at the table scatter and scream.*
Talia al Ghul: *the sound of a blade twishing* Damian? Jason? Where are you? Guards- I command you to find my sons! Protect the heirs!
*Jason and Damian hiding under the table*
Jason: Well-You can’t blame this entirely on me. Your family is known for overreacting.
Damian: *hissing* Yes, I can AND I will. I will not be punished for your stupidity. I shall knock out your tooth myself.
Jason: I’m good. Brucie paid a pretty penny to fix my teeth.
Damian: Go to hell, Jason.
*Both boys jump as Dusan hits the floor, making eye contact with them.*
————————————————————————
Ra al Ghul: Both of you are remanded to your quarters until further notice. No sneaking off to the gardens. No access to the animal sanctuary. Have you anything to say regarding your behavior, such as an apology, before you are escorted to your rooms?
Jason: *raises hand*
Ra al Ghul: Yes, Jason?
Jason: *points at Dusan al Ghul* This is his fault. He has a trauma response so severe that he’d put veterans to shame.
Damian: *giggling* He is also the one that tried tackling you, Grandfather, to ensure your safety.
Ra al Ghul: Guards. Take them to their quarters immediately. Now.
Jason: HEY. Watch where you point the sword!
valuable life skills 101 with stephanie
Getting ready
Fic idea: Batman is getting a formal reprimand from the Justice League for something ridiculous and every single active duty Bat (and some non active duty) show up to the Watchtower for the “hearing” the League insists on having.
(imagine them running through the “incident” and someone coughs bullshit every time Clark speaks, Alfred is so obviously perched defensively near Bruce and furious, Red Hood somehow showed up? Dick is in full gaslight gatekeep girlboss mode even though Bruce wishes he Would Not, Damian is stuck in the elevator trying to get Batcow up to “witness this miscarriage of justice” and Cass keeps flashing increasingly concerning hand signs at Bruce up on the “stand” and every time someone mentions the complainant - Booster Gold - Tim says “who?” just loud enough for the entire room to hear)
(the “hearing” is over just as Damian gets Batcow in and magically Batman never receives his reprimand. because his kids are Awful. not Alfred though. never Alfred)
Cassandra: My dad has access to mine and my brothers' bank accounts and accidentally took money out of one of my brother's savings instead of his own to pay the mortgage and now every time we tell my brother to do something he says, "You can't talk to me like that in my house."
breaking the cycle
I’m 85% sure Batman has really really bad Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
Not, “keep things tidy” or “wash my hands until they bleed” but, like, his obsession with being Batman and fighting crime is driven by fear. The repeating thought of “if I don’t become this bat vigilante then people will die” is… irrational. But he doesn’t see it that way. He trains. He can’t not train. If he doesn’t then people die. He pushes himself to the brink of death, pushing himself beyond the limitations of his body because if he relents for just a moment people will die. It’ll be his fault. He needs to be out on the street every night. He needs to train every day.
Without people like Alfred, his obsession would’ve killed him within the first year. That’s not normal. He literally cannot stop himself from going out and fighting crime. He tried to stop being Batman before, but he always come back to it. He’s too afraid. He needs to be Batman. It’s all he thinks about.
By all means he should be dead. He’s basically insanely smart and lucky.
Thinking he’s personally responsible for the deaths in Gotham is his obsession. His compulsion is to train all the time and to go out every night to fight criminals.
Batman definitely has obsessive compulsive disorder.
Other examples of his irrational ways of thinking include
“I need to be miserable and alone.”
“Using a gun makes me as bad as the serial killers”
“Killing no matter the circumstance will turn me into someone like the Joker.”
In a DC Nation comic they put multiple hero’s sanctuary files, Batman being one of them, and at the bottom listed their diagnoses conditions.
Damn I’m good
You know in hotel transylvania when they 'zing' and its like love at first sight or whatever. That's what happens in my mind when bruce gets a new kid.
Seeing Dick sitting in the circus alone and just deciding yep I'm taking this one
Again with Jason, sees a small child, clearly in need, suddenly Bruce NEEDS to take this kid home. Yoink.
He doesn't do it on purpose, or even notice it, just blinks and hes obtained a whole child
He sees kids on patrol all the time, helps a lot of kids, but sometimes his brain just clicks when he sees a kid and then the batfam grows again
Jason: I hate when your phone sends you a notification that an app is draining your battery.
Duke: I know. It's like stop being such a tattletale.
Jason: Exactly. Like imagine running to Bruce every time Tim wastes our time and energy with nonsense.
Tim:
