.We.Are.Dangerous.

mikaela // 333

[wearedangerous]

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— william wordsworth (via letsbelonelytogetherr)

[5555ilenthill]

[uncloses]

[svdcvnt]

Everything I’ve Ever Let Go Of Has Claw Marks On It

Artist: David Altmejd

[wearedangerous]

6.27

weeks have passed. all of the stress of the year took a toll on this little body and i nearly bled out. i was born into this world a sticky substance and i learned it was easier to stay away from pain rather than collect the dirt and debris one gets from an extra heaping of gullibility. but a saturn return, a stomach bleed, a car collision, a loss of self, a leave of absence, a collapse of friendship, and one big hospital bill later —i am not as invincible as i thought i was, i suppose. i would’ve liked to have been strong enough to stay but i would’ve liked it more if you hadn’t paved the way to the door.

your absence has waned on my body but not my mind. something bad happens and i want to tell you. something good happens and i want to tell you more. most days i just want a hug. every day i wish i had my best friend.

[driflloon]

junko shimada fw95

[calleido]

isle of skye, scotland

[urgetocreate]

Nick Alm (Swedish b.1985), Victoria's Window, 2025, Oil on canvas

[placeeee]

[unreadable]

[achillesinhighheels]

[wearedangerous]

5.10

where do i put all the love i have for you? it has nowhere to go. it comes up like bile during the day. i wake up with it coating my mouth. i swallow hard, i keep it down. by midday it turns to lead in my belly. i carry it around like a second body in my body. I've lost 10 pounds with all the extra weight. i am afraid to let go of it, to lose your memory. i am afraid if i open myself up and extract what's left, the wound will close indefinitely. i am afraid if i let you go, you will forever be a stranger to this body that knows your morning cowlick and the mole on your back you never show. i have bathed your body and my hands hurt and my shower remembers.

i want you to be happy and i want you to be happy with her. none of the memories or words replace that. but you are my best friend, you are. you have been, you were. i love you like i love me, like how i exist without trying, and that is a fact. a body outside of my body. a limb severed. the distance between us made it harder for me to breathe when i was already suffocating. the catalyst could've been anything - but it was the distance. the absence of the only tether i had in three-thousand miles.

i want you to be happy and i want you to want to still be my best friend. i want to laugh and joke and spend time together simply because you want to spend time with me. i want to hear about the love for your partner and still feel the love you have for me in your life. i want to be there for you in all ways, but i cannot reach you. i dial the phone and hear a strangers voice. there is an indent in my couch that you refuse to fill. the silent car rides and the occasional movie opens the wound up further, like hot breath stinging, reminding me that you are here in body but not in spirit. i reach out for you and my fingers touch stone.

so, my phone does not ring. i do not have to plug it in from hours long facetimes. i watch tv alone. we do not meet in the morning to see where the day takes us. you give me an hour here, there - when i used to have days of the week. i accept breadcrumbs because sustenance is scarce. i live an anorexic life. i must take what i can get or i will wither away. i withered away, anyways. i left to find warmth.

[achillesinhighheels]

[nemfrog]

Andromeda Galaxy, misunderstood at the time to be a nebula inside the Milky Way. Elementary Astronomy. 1899. Frontispiece.

Internet Archive

[nemfrog]

Bolts of lightning. Electricity for everybody. 1907.

Internet Archive

[sixgrl]