So, here we go. This is my first post, you know, so hi. Nice to meet you. I am Bear, ya know. Anyway, I've decided since this is my first post, we should go back all the way to my first ever awkward moment. So, this is a long, long trip down memory lane. Here we go.
I was around four or five, I am honestly still not quite sure, to be honest. It was a long time ago, that's all we need to know. I had recieved this gift for Valentine's Day from a family member, and it was a stuffed animal. A dog, to be exact. He was pink with a white spot around his right eye and he had white ears. Keep in mind, this dog was my life. I always held him tight to me, and I never let him go. Ever. I named him Fluffy because well.. that's what he was. Fluffy.
So, back on topic, okay. It was a summer night(I remember because I lived in Texas at the time and it was hot as hell), and I was laying in bed. I had a tough day that day, and I'm pretty sure it involved my favorite coloring book being completely torn up by my uncle's dog. It was tragic for me. I cried. Who wouldn't cry over a baby Muppet coloring book, you know? Okay, so, I was laying in bed thinking about the long, horrible day I had. I was staring up at the ceiling in the dark, just minding my own business.
After about thirty minutes of that, I rolled over onto my side to go to sleep because I was pretty darn tired. So, I rolled over and reached out to grab Fluffy and hold him tight to my chest to cuddle him while I slept. But... when I reached out.. nothing was there. I completely froze because what the hell, where the fuck is Fluffy? That dog is always on my bed, and he is supposed to never leave it unless by my side. Me being the angry toddler I was, I sat up as quick as possible and jumped off my bed.
There was no way in hell that I was sleeping without Fluffy that night because as you guys can tell, no Fluffy equals no life for the four(or five) year old me. I got out my room and stormed into my parent's room, throwing the door open. And well... this is when things go weird.
So, I throw the door open, right? Right away I scream, "Daddy, where's Fluffy!?" Making both my parents startled as hell, and they jump up before peeking out from under the covers. I didn't realize anything at first until I came closer to the bed and crawled up to sit next to them. That's when I saw...
Yes, I know, you're thinking, "How tragic for poor four(or five) year old Bear!" But truth be told, I didn't exactly understand what was going on. I saw that my dad was on top of my mom and he was shirtless, and I realized that my mom was covering her chest. But I didn't get what was happening at all really, I just continued to ask where my absolute best friend was.
My dad's face was red as he reached over to the side of their bed, and picked up my life from the crack in between the wall and bed. He threw it at me before yelling at me to go back to bed, so I did. I grabbed Fluffy, squeezing him tightly before hopping off my parents bed and skipping off to bed. The rest of the night, I slept soundly with the love of my life tight in between my arms.
Aw, nice happy ending, right? So, anyway, after a few years(I was around 13 this time. Wow, almost 10 years), this memory just randomly came back to me. My friends, I'll call them Snookums and Kipple, were talking about the times they have walked in on their parents. (Snookums walked in on her parents in the bathroom, they were doing it on the floor. Kipple walked in on her parents using a whip, how tragic for her. I cry for the things Kipple has seen. If you read this ever, I am praying for you, girl.) I, of course, had said that it had never happened to me. But, as I was thinking about it for a while and suddenly the whole memory played in my head.
I froze, looked at both of them with eyes bigger than the Kardashian's ego and gasped. They looked at me, weird-ed out at first before asking what was wrong. That's when I explained the experience I had in my young years. Of course, both of them burst out laughing, exclaiming they were having sex when I was on my quest to find Fluffy. This memory still haunts me, and I sometimes wonder what would have happened to poor Fluffy if I didn't save him from there? Would he be traumatized for life? Would he ever be able to look at my parents the same? I don't know and the sad thing is, I never will know.
Fluffy is gone now. I have no idea where he is, but I know he is somewhere safe. He is somewhere away from these two wild sex beasts who never seem to stop with sexual actions. He is a survivor of the perverted Bear household. He is happy.
- Chuck Norris the Second AKA Bear.
