I am the girl before the girl.
Because I am far too much of everything.
But this will teach you what you want in someone. You will see these things in me with the volume turned all the way up and find them in someone else at a volume that doesn’t make your ears ring.
I will help you grow. I will push you, call you on the bullshit, always ask you to be better. But not because I do not think you are enough, but because I will always see the best in you and ask that you show everyone this.
You will see how I love with my heart sewn into one sleeve and my tongue sewn into the other and you will learn to say the words that your heart beats out. You will stop caging your feelings behind your teeth out of fear. She will know that you love her, but not that you learned how from me.
I am the one before the one.
But don’t think that you will forget me.
I will stay as the knot in your throat, the thought pressed to the back of your mind, the pit in your stomach when you see shards of me in her. They will be polished smooth, but they will drag up memories of my jagged edges. And for a moment, you’ll wonder if instead of being someone else’s rock polished smooth from careful contact, you could’ve been my diamond from the heat of the love I pressed against you.
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