MEDICORE WRITING

can you see me?

[whenmamacomeshome]

i am bad at things!

[whenmamacomeshome]

i told our friends i was over you.

i talked to other guys.

squinting, trying to see you in them.

i thought id got good at hiding it.

but after a couple of drinks i found myself perched on the arm rest of your chair running my hand through your hair.

gliding my finger across the planes of your face.

while you sat squinting at me trying to see someone else.

[whenmamacomeshome]

i don't want to become my parents.

bitter, self-centered, and rigid.

but sometimes i fear that i am promised the same fate as them.

that i dont deserve any better.

but i try not to let this world harden me.

to not transform me into an impenetrable rock.

a sorry attempt at preventing waves of turmoil from cracking into me.

instead i will allow myself to be eroded into glassy sand.

soft and forgiving.

-M.M.V.

I have this dream that I am hitting my dad with a baseball bat

And he is screaming and crying for help

And maybe halfway through, it has more to do with me killing him

Then it ever did protecting myself -The Front Bottoms

[whenmamacomeshome]

is there anything worse than liking one of your bestfriends?

[whenmamacomeshome]

i have no clue how i got to december.

no seriously though, it's like i just woke up

-M.M.V.

[whenmamacomeshome]

this is wat happens the day after two dramatic people break up. how poetic ><

(sorry for the shitpost)😞

[whenmamacomeshome]

fire.ash.dust.

and when i looked at you

tears welling in my eyes.

i knew we wouldnt work.

my uncontrollable rambling took over

as if you were my father,

i began over-explaining myself.

my nail biting,

my thigh clinching,

my odd laughter,

it all spilled out.

i though you could understand.

but all i got was your hesitant console.

and when i looked into your eyes my love

and saw your pupils sitting like pebbles in your atlantic eyes.

i almost threw up.

so thats how i knew we wouldnt work.

once again love blew up in my sensitive face.

fire,

then ash,

then dust.

boom!

-M.M.V.

[whenmamacomeshome]

a parasite poem

hera,

you make me want to use that cliche.

the one about the parasite.

the bug who tears and latches into pure supple flesh.

the taker,

the shameless reciever,

the one who breaks and enters,

infiltrating an honest heart.

"you sick theif in the night!"

id shame you.

but the truth is, even if i wanted to use that cliche.

use that ravished simile against you,

i couldn't.

a parasite is a being who lives off another

and the funny thing is hera,

you dont need me to live.

so maybe,

this time,

the problem falls on me.

-M.M.V.

"maybe i lost my mind? no one noticed."

[whenmamacomeshome]

muscle memory

every morning i wake up to die

without end

this ever living coil torments me

its the same day

over and over

im just going through the motions

-M.M.V.

[whenmamacomeshome]

on galveston island

down on galveston island i felt something that day.

in the book store when you squeezed beside me in the narrow isle

and hummed into my cheek as i read the summary of a war book.

i felt something when your minty eyes stared up at me from that rigidy wooden chair as i spit up the plot of some romance novel.

on galveston island i felt something as i watched you from above, leaning over a box of vinyls from the antique store.

and i felt something when you "blessed me" after i sneezed from the dust on the porcelain dolls i admire so much.

on galveston island i felt something when you walked just close enough in the streets.

and how you'd clutch my denim jacket when you thought i'd cross in front of the trolley.

and i felt something in that humid slippery restaurant, the one with the good tacos and lemonade.

i stared at you from across the table and gawked at how your bangs never seemed to stick from the oily atmosphere, as my hair had frizzed.

on galveston island i felt something when you hugged me.

your sticky summer skin against mine.

yes, down on galveston island my emotions high on its low elevation, i don't think ive ever felt more adoration

-M.M.V.

[whenmamacomeshome]

The Cravings of 2025

ive decided to turn nineteen, and my father has started to cuss me out in his fits of anger.

i think im finally becoming a women now.

-M.M.V.

[whenmamacomeshome]

ode to the church mouse

i like you

i like you so

your quiet ponderous countenance

your soft tone

im used to hearing doors slam

and coats ripping from their hook

but your words are like a hinge creek

or the shuffling of a fur faux

even when you cry out

or laugh

or sigh

it all expels like a whisper

like a soft tick of time

you hurry in your footsteps

and though they make little thumps

they don't petrifiy me or make my heart jump

oh church mouse

with console you douse

and so

i like you

i like you so

--M.M.V.

...look at me, im as helpless as a kitten up a tree and i feel like im clinging to a cloud...

[whenmamacomeshome]

landing pad shoulders

and it decends onto me once again

and i must hold this weight

and i must hold this weight

because i have strong landing pad shoulders

which each copter can-

bump,bump, gliiiiiide onto

these big landing pad shoulders

cause im a strong copter bearing girl

bearing their pain

bearing their greif

bearing their anger

and these shoulders hold their colors up up up

but when my shoulders-

faulter or shiver or slouch

the poor landing pad shoulders are adandoned

yes, without a doubt

how strong can i really be?

--M.M.V.

...well ive walked into your dagger for the last time in a row...

[whenmamacomeshome]

and on the topic of death

The other day my sister turned to me whilst driving and announced

"I hope I die in an extremely tragic way."

I kept my eyes on the road for a second as she had the habit of not and frowned.

"why the fuck do you say that?"

My head now turned.

"I don't know, I'd be cool."

She shrugged now defensive.

"but what about us? i want you to pass in your sleep, peacefully."

She frowned.

"Whatever. You don't wanna die in a cool way?"'

I looked back at the neglected road and thought.

"i wanna die in a hospital, where doctors can control my pain."

Where my family has to see my mangled corpse in the control of a facility, not in a body bag...I did not say the rest out loud

She shrugged once again

how selfish-I thought but not aloud

--M.M.V

[whenmamacomeshome]

god, but spelt as an improper noun

but sadly my parents are homophobic...

and theres nothing else i can do but throw my hand to my side

and sin.

theres no washing this away.

--M.M.V.

[whenmamacomeshome]

Hera

can i cling to your leg for one more night?

don't go!

don't go yet!

let's run about as we used to,

talk shit as we used to,

i love you,

and you love me, as you used to.

are we still kids hera?

can i still wail all night?

must i face this like a big girl hera?

when he's holding you so tight

touching your hair as i used to?

what is your response hera!

do you really have nothing to say?

or can i not hear you over my own heart drowning in these waves?

oh hera!

you don't even care like you used to!

isn't anyone there that can replace you

-M.M.V

[whenmamacomeshome]

Hera,

im making lemon squares over you today

so lemon squares you become

tart and eaten

all in one bite

--M.M.V.