27 | Fae/Faer They/She | Artist and Writer
History and Anthropology major, World History and Classical Studies minor
Artblr; @nemorasenchantedeasl
Super Secret Bsky: https://bsky.app/profile/whispering--woods.bsky.social
I've got my parent's van for the week and it seems determined to establish my status as The Local Cryptid by terrorizing an innocent 7-11 clerk.
...I might need to back up a bit.
My mother is an eminently sensible woman who knows herself well, and when The Plauge hit, she knew she'd need some sort of mentally and physically engaging craft project to keep herself from going insane and massacring the local zoning and water management boards (even if they have it coming). So she and Dad acquired a utility van and converted it into a camper van because while they love camping, they're past the age where their joints and immune systems will tolerate sleeping on the cold ground in a nylon tent.
They did a terrific job of it and my mom taught herself woodworking and carpentry and now the van has it's own cabinets, fold-away dining table, and removable queen-sized bed with memory foam mattress. My Dad was already a computer engineer, but he learned the dark magics of automotive software and electronics to install after-market backup cameras, a media player that would take a terabyte hard drive and a solar-powered battery and outlet so they could wake up and just turn on the kettle and griddle for breakfast without having to exit the van into a cold morning on an empty stomach.
Truly, the height of Camping Luxury.
My parents are both in their mid-seventies and my primary life goal is to be at least half as cool and hale as they are when I get old.
Anyway, they take it out at least a dozen times a year and it works fabulously, but, being as I am on good terms with my parents and also finishing the process of moving house, I've been borrowing it to move large and cumbersome objects that will not fit in the back of my equally lovely but minuscule Honda hatchback.
It's a Great Van.
Very easy and comfortable to drive.
Stunningly good MPG for it's size.
The best cruise control I've ever had in a car.
It's just also.
Quirky.
Mischievous, even.
---
If this van has a fault its that it bears the unfortunate affliction that all lightly used white utility vans have in that the combination of an utter lack of branding features and the large dent/scrape I accidentally put on it while trying to escape a Denny's last Thanksgiving means that this vehicle is one addition of a Badly Spray-Painted "FREE CANDY" on the side away from being the sort of vehicle you see in an edgy horror movie.
It's got the same issue that Doberman Dogs have where they look like the sort of creature that likes to snack on toddler's faces whilst actually having personalities made of marshmallow fluff. This vehicle is unnecessarily menacing and I think nothing short of an airbrushed Epic Van Wizard will correct this. People see this van pull up and lean over and squint suspiciously at me when the driver's side door opens, and then look moderately confused when, instead of Charles Manson, a small, potato-shaped creature with neon purple hair and a statistically unlikely assortment of dogs emerges.
My own two dogs, Herschel the Hanukkah Goblin/Corgi and Charleston Chew The Taco Dumpster Dog, Do Not Like The Van. Even with the bed in it, they have a tendency to slide and roll around in the back, and both WILL chew through dog saftey belts or other attempts to secure them in there.
On the other hand, my house mate's dog, an exceptionally tall standard poodle whom we lovingly call "The Creature", loves the Van because SHE wears her doggy seat-belt with only mild complaining and gets to sit up in the passenger seat like A People.
Also like A People, The Creature likes to stand and walk around on her hind legs. It doesn't hurt her and it's entirely voluntary, but every so often I will feel a hand on my arm and instead of my husband or friend, it's a canine that's taller than I am on her hind legs who wants to stare at my face with soulful, concerned eyes. The Creature's favorite thing is that she is exactly the right height for me to hold her arm in Genteel Fashion and walk around the pet food or hardware store with her like I'm a count escorting a debutante around a royal ball.
---
As it stands, I am set to inherit this vehicle whenever my Honda gives up the ghost, and I fully intend to paint an Epic Van Wizard on it when that time comes.
The other peculiarity of The Van is that while Dad did manage to successfully install all his after-market electronics, not all the electronics get along.
Sometimes, they fight for Dominance.
The Terabyte Music Player and the Backup Camera have a particularly contentious relationship, and turning on the music has about a 25% chance of turning on the backup camera as well, and turning on the Backup Camera is equally likely to turn on the music.
Firthermore, The Van has a favorite song.
I am not kidding that Dad filled an entire terabyte hard drive with music and the software to sort it via the radio controls, but of all the Early Boomer Dad Rock (Kingston Trio over The Eagles) and Irish Folk and Symphonies and the entire discography of Weird Al Yankovic, The Van's favorite song-
The one it picks to play as victory music every time it beats the Backup Camera at their weird electronic game of rock-paper-scissors
-is The Liberty Bell March by John Phillip Sousa.
You all know this song already.
...but in case you've forgotten the tune:
Yeah.
The Van's favorite song is the goddamn Monty Python's Flying Circus Theme Music.
It does not play this song at a normal volume.
Every time I turn on the Backup Camera and it manages to turn the music player on as well, The Van insists on absolutely blasting this nonsense on at the maximum volume it's physically capable of producing, which I know is loud enough to be heard from the Denver International Airport's Pickup zone when they Van decided to start playing it from the economy lot about half a mile away.
Perhaps it's The Van's way of honoring the aesthetic sensibilities and sonic enthusiasm of Mr. Sousa.
...I can't help but wonder if the purpose of an Epic Van Wizard is to control this sort of faerie-like malarkey, and channel these chaotic energies into things like Spell of Don't Break Down In Nevada or Enchantment Of Always Have Good Parking.
---
So last Friday the 13th, I get a call from my friend and housemate, at said airport.
It's roughly 11PM at night, and I have already retired for the evening.
I am in the exact minimum of clothing required to be a decent housemate and not scandalize the neighbors should I happen to walk by a window.
My feet are up.
There is a cat in my lap and fictional British people murdering each other in highly inventive fashion on the tv.
-But my friend has returned from her friend's wedding,and either American or United Airlines has managed to lose her luggage,
including,
among other valuable possessions,
the keys to her car.
...So she cannot just drive home as originally planned.
There are, as luck would have it, her spare set of keys not eight feet from me.
Being a good and decent person, I agree to bring the spare keys to her so she may get home before daybreak and not spend a semester's worth of tuition on an uber across the greater Denver traffic jam.
Being also that she Loves Activities, and it's her mom we're going to pick up, I elect to take along The Creature.
I am primarily focused on remembering how to get to the airport and not leaving my friend's spare keys on the counter, so I throw on a pair of flip-flops, step outside, remember that it's AUTUMN and my minimal evening attire is not sufficient thermal protection, step back in, grab the first coat in the closet I lay hands on, pull it on, check that I have her keys again and leave.
The trip to the airport is largely unremarkable, save that it becomes necessary for me to put on sunglasses to drive, despite it being nearly the witching hour and almost entirely darker than the inside of a cow.
It's necessary because this blissful darkness of night is violently punctured by a startling number of cars that seem to have installed miniaturized but no less powerful lighthouse bulbs in where their headlights ought to go so the oncoming traffic and sports cars that insist on tailgating me in the slow lane alike illuminate the road and my mirrors with the kind of radiance I'd normally associate with the arrival of a Seraphim.
I arrive at the distant highly discounted airport car lot where my housemate is waiting, deeply apologetic.
It's nothing. I say. Once I see that your car starts up, I'm gonna go to that 7-11 across the way that I parked in front of, get a slurpee or something and I'll see you at home.
While she is retrieving her vehicle (an equally eccentric but much more stately Subaru that is old enough to be elected to congress) I rifle through the loose change in the glove box and discover that I have exactly $6.66 in small bills and coins. The Subaru, continuing it's long voyage into vehicular immortality, immediately starts up.
Upon her return, we all remember that my friend had all her camping gear in the backseat of the car and there is no room for The Creature to ride home with her parent, so I again assure her it's nothing, and will just take The Creature into the 7-11 with me. She is trained as a service animal and needs the practice after the plague.
I wave my friend off and turn to enter the 7-11.
I promptly trip over the jutting back bumper of The Van and fall, cartoonishly, face-first onto the sidewalk.
Fortunately, I have a lot of practice falling on my face, and have learned not to throw my hands out but instead cover my face, so my unexpected self-inflicted attempted curb-stomping lightly scrapes my hairline and nothing else -my sunglasses even stay in place- and I get up and resume my quest for a slurpee.
It's well known that the airport is a lawless place, and the 7-11 across from the discounted airport parking at the stroke of midnight is no exception.
I know it's the stroke of Midnight because there's one of those Audubon society bird-call clocks that makes bird noises, and my arrival is heralded by the twittering call of a Summer Tanager. I am almost charmed enough by the unusual choice of chronological device to excuse the exorbitant Airport-adjacent mark-up of Slurpee prices. I stand at the machine for some time, trying to decide on a size for the price and guess what the fuck "Blue Lighting Blast" is supposed to taste like.
The Creature is being Very Polite but is somewhat agitated, I assume because she *just* saw her mother for the first time in three days and then she LEFT with no explanation, so The Creature is on her hind legs, staring woefully into my eyes, asking to be escorted around the 7-11. Even though that's not what she's not supposed to be doing, there's nobody else in here, so I let her hang off my arm and discuss various Slurpee Flavor options with her.
We eventually decide on an experiment in which I try a Small Blue Lightning Blast, and discover it tastes a bit like licking a nintendo cartridge but in a pleasantly satisfying way.
I go up to pay and realize something is amiss.
The Cashier is a young man staring at me with wide eyes, one had over the register and the other wrapped up in his rosary.
I look down at myself.
In my haste to reunite my friend with her spare keys and service animal, I had left the house in the following accoutrements:
Flip Flops.
Not matching.
It's below freezing outside.
That last part is not particularly odd footwear for the weather in for Colorado, but it's an important detail for the rest of the ensemble.
Assorted scrapes, bruises, cuts and welts on my arms and legs that come with doing outdoor work and living in a house with three dogs and a fully-clawed cat that all want to be in my lap all the time.
It's cold out, so vasoconstriction has pulled the blood away from my skin, a trait that served my ancestors well during the last Ice Age, but leaves me with pale skin to contrast the various wounds and I look like a corpse that fell out of the back of a pickup truck.
The black Bootyshorts with "CRYPTID" painted in bright red gothic font across my ass, that @theshitpostcalligrapher gave me for my wedding present.
A peculiar but extremely comfortable garment that straddles the line between "Lacy Camisole" and "Industrial-Strength Sports Bra" like the Ever Given straddling the Suez Canal.
It is also Bright Red. with black accents.
The Jacket I had grabbed out of the closet, which is in fact, a black Velour Dinner Jacket.
The Tokyo-Ghoul inspired reusable anti-covid mask a friend made me with the set of Coyote Teeth.
My sunglasses, which are shaped like a Halloween Bat. The lenses are the wings and the body is the nose bridge.
It is ALSO bright red.
A Very Large and remarkably Humanoid Poodle that I have been audibly affectionately calling "Dear Creature" who is hanging off my arm like she's my Prom Date.
The Very Large and remarkably Humanoid Poodle is ALSO dressed up in a black Dog Sweater that has white bones printed on it to look like its an X-ray jacket showing off her skeleton.
I look like I am taking my Very Fancy Werewolf Girlfriend to a particularly casual Dinner Party for Vampires, but the thing that's really selling it and probably alarming the kid the most is the fun accessory I acquired in the parking lot not five minutes earlier:
The "Small Scrape At my Hairline" is actually a painless but PROFUSELY bleeding head wound that I had somehow entirely failed to notice covering my face, neck, decolletage and magnificent cleavage with blood like a Tarantino Film Extra.
This does explain why The Creature has been delicately trying to use her bodyweight to push me down onto the floor for the last ten minutes.
So I don't injure myself while we wait for the paramedics she hoped this kid called to arrive, you see.
The Creature has such a High and Naive Opinion of humanity.
I decide this social situation is already fucked, and the only way out is through, and with haste, before I start dripping on the floor.
"Hi there!" I say cheerfully, to indicate this is a visually alarming but not terribly serious situation. "Just a Small Slurpee!"
The Cashier has entered the relevant code into the register before I finish the sentence. His gaze flicks off me just long enough to look at the total, and he grips his Rosary harder.
$6.66
"Oh cool! I have exact change!" I say, taking the money out of my as-yet-unsanguined pocket without looking and slap it down on the counter. "You have a good night and be safe out there!" I wave, leaving.
I get in The Van, mortified, buckle The Creature up, and as I make to leave, I have to put it in reverse, which automatically turns on the backup Camera.
It also turns on the music player.
I make eye contact with the cashier as the dulcet tones of John Phillip Sousa boom from the van hard enough to make the windshield and the windows of the 7-11 rattle for the nine-and-a-half seconds I have to wait to be able to turn the volume back down. Not knowing what else to to, I give him a thumbs up, and leave.
Anyway, now I know what my Future Van Wizard has got to be dressed like, and what their familiar is.
---
If you enjoyed this story, please consider donating to my Ko-Fi or Pre-ordering my Family Lore Funny Stories book on Patreon
Was driving with my grandmother and in broken English she says āno eyesā¦ no noseā¦ no face. Donāt trust.ā To which I looked around wildly in search of this omen of ill portend.
writing is so funny because i could write nonstop for 9hrs and then hit a block where im like "how do i transition between this moment and the next?" and then i just dont touch it for 6 months
Itās so crazy that if you try to tell a parent thereās a way to make their childās life better or more safe itās always interfering, being nosy, acting superior, etc. Even if the parents are drinking wine and chain-smoking during pregnancy and raising kids with physical punishment and emotional abuse and unregulated screen time from age 1 people will be like āāØdo not be judgmental š āØ youāre mom-shaming š you donāt know their situationā
People care less about the well-being of children than the feelings of parents.
Dottore the Alchemist: Or, How Zandik Will Rise Again
In my excitement over lizardttore and Escher, I didnāt spare much thought to how the Pyro Gnosis might be central to Dottoreās revival. But then I saw what Hoyo titled Datattoreās final cutscene animation: Crucible of Causality.
What if they just gave us an enormous hint as to not only how he might come back but also how he might be redeemed enough to be playable without entirely eradicating his fundamental goal as a character? What if his death is one more step in his overarching plan of perfecting the human body and soul through the principles of alchemical enlightenment.
TLDR
Irminsul acts as a crucible in both senses of the word. It is a vessel in which substances can be subjected to extremely high temperatures and it is a significant trial that can lead to profound personal growth
Dottoreās 3-4-7 connection aligns him with the principles of alchemy
Esoteric interpretations of alchemy are primarily spiritual in nature. That is to say, transmuting metals into gold is an analogy for personal transformation and purification
As part of the seven stages of alchemy, Zandikās most āselfishā perspective (the ego) must be broken down, confronted by, and reintegrated into the remainder of his soul
Nahidaās goodbye is so exaggerated as a red herring; 35 is dead, but Zandik will return as the enlightened version of himself thanks to the Pyro Gnosis, which is tied to resurrection
In analytical psychology, the burning phase of alchemy is a metaphor for confronting the shadows within to eventually reach wholeness
(Iām coping so hard yāall. I need to believe heās coming back.)
The Crucible and the Verdict of the Soul
Defined literally, a crucible is a heat-resistant vessel in which metals or other substances can be melted, purified, and transformed. Alchemy requires a crucible; these are the containers in which alchemy occurs.
Figuratively, a crucible is an extreme or agonizing trial through which a person is transformed, an intensely difficult process that ārefinesā worldviews. It is a ātrial by fire,ā if you will.
In the video description for Crucible of Causality, we learn that Dottore is about to be judged by his own soul.
"Where countless broken souls converge, he shall hear the verdict of his own soul."
Both definitions of the crucible are important to what I think is going on with Dottore.
3 + 4 = 7 : The Oldest Spiritual Equation
Last patch, many folks pointed out Dottoreās connection to the numbers 3,4, and 7 (prompted, I believe, by YouTuber CatWithBlueHat)
A quick overview of the associations:
Dottore shows up in patches 3, 4, and 7 of the Nod-Krai update cycle
We encounter Dottore in Inazuma (3), Sumeru (4), and Nod-Krai (7)
Dottore is opposed by the Harbingers who currently occupy the 3rd, 4th, and 7th seats (Columbina, Arlecchino, Sandrone)
The three songs that play when heās on screen are Threefold Falsehood, Four Unspeakables, and Prajnaparamitopadesa to Quell Seven Calamities
On their own, each of these could be pure coincidence, but the song names give credence to all the rest. Localization issues aside, Genshin has always been extremely precise with their references.
3 + 4 = 7 is an enormously significant equation in many traditions Genshin borrows from. In game, we can look at the 3 Moon Sisters, the 4 Shades, and the 7 Archons/elements as examples of how fundamental these numbers are to Teyvat.
But these numbers are also central to alchemy. In alchemical theory and practice, 3 refers to the tria prima (three primes or three principles). These are:
A combustible element: sulfur
A fluid element: mercury
A permanent element: salt
Renaissance alchemist Paracelsus believed that, by understanding the tria prima, one could cure all diseases. He illustrated his theories by burning a piece of wood, explaining fire stood in for the work of sulfur, smoke as mercury, and the ash left behind as salt. More importantly, he extended this to human identity with salt (ash) representing the body, mercury (smoke) representing the spirit, and sulfur (fire) representing the soul.
The 4, meanwhile, represents the Aristotelian four elements (fire, water, earth, air). Reconciling or overlapping the 3 and the 4 lead to diagrams like these, which sought to capture a coherent understanding of the world.
The universe, folks
Genshin makes explicit reference to these ideas in the Fontaine World Quests and again in Act VII of the Nod-Krai quest. In the Explications on the Chymical Marriage readable, we learn:
Three pertains to appearance, while four pertains to the intrinsic. Seven, obtained through their overlap, constitute the number of paths for vertical transcendence.
Worth mentioning: The Chymical Wedding of Christian Rosenkreutz is an actual book circa 1459 thatās divided into 7 journeys and deals with death, purification, trials, resurrection, and ascension.
Iāll put a pin in 347 for now, but Iāll come back to it in a bit.
The Seven Stages of Alchemical Transmutation
Transmutation is alchemyās central goal with the most popular example being turning lead into gold. The Magnum Opus (Great Work) aimed to discover the Philosopherās Stone, a substance capable of turning base metal into gold. They also believed it could be used to make the Elixir of Immortality.
In esoteric views of alchemy, however, the transmutation of materials into gold was a metaphor for spiritual transformation. The process of transmutation was instead meant to symbolize a transformation from an imperfect, limited, ignorant state of being to an evolved one that understands the hidden truth of this world.
Basically everything Moon Goddess Dottore the Heretic of the False moon talks about.
In Carl Jungās analytical psychology, which takes these alchemical principles and uses them for psychotherapy, the aim is to achieve the actualization of the self. To do so, a person has to move beyond their own ego, which Jung refers to as the āorganā of consciousness.
Dottore is peak ego, the āIā as opposed to the āweā of the other Segments, the most rational, radical, selfish part of himself. Pantaloneās explicit reference to Dottoreās ego in their absolutely shameless flirting conversation in the Sanctuary of Surasthana feels quite pointed.
So what does the actual alchemical/enlightenment process look like? Over the years, alchemists proposed processes with varying numbers of steps, some with 12, some with 14, some withā¦ you guessed it, 7. Given how central 7 is in Teyvat and the 6.6 AQ, thatās what Iām going with.
Iāve broken down each step into the Material (chemical) process and the Psychological (spiritual) process and then tried to detail what I think is going on.
1. Calcination
Material: Heating a material over flame until it turns to ash
Psychological: The initial step of breaking down oneās ego, which involves severing oneās worldly attachments
Almost like, you know, saying a final goodbye to the only human being who has ever mattered to you.
2. Dissolution (or Sublimation)
Material: Dissolving these ashes into water
Psychological: Submerging oneself into the unconscious with the goal of resurfacing the parts of the self that had been hidden or suppressed by the conscious mind
Falling into a molten pit full of the parts of himself that he quite literally killed three years ago.
3. Separation
Material: Isolating and filtering the products of dissolution
Psychological: Determining which parts of this surfaced material should be separated and which should be re-integrated
This is the moment when Dottore āshall hear the verdict of his own soul.ā
4. Conjunction
Material: Forming a new substance out of the separated elements that are being preserved
Psychological: Merging the conscious and unconscious elements so that the true self can emerge from the union of dualities
Here is where Dottore merges with his fractured self and begins to unify the soul.
5. Fermentation (or Putrefaction)
Material: Inducing the chemical breakdown of the substance by introducing bacteria or other micro-organisms
Psychological: Inducing suffering through challenge and testing to promote resilience and spiritual awakening
Heās straight up in a burning tree having to grapple with all the versions of himself. No one hates Dottore more than Dottore. This is definitely suffering.
But imagine this going on for 5 days
6. Distillation
Material: Further refining or purifying the solution by condensing it
Psychological: Purifying the spirit by elevating oneās awareness into the collective self so that it is no longer controlled by the ego
Dottore, the ego, is no longer above the other Segments and the original. He no longer has the power to destroy them.
7. Coagulation
Material: Transformation to a solid state. This is the Philosopherās Stone and the Elixir of Immortality
Psychological: The union of matter and spirit to create an aligned whole that is capable of perceiving the world on all levels of consciousness. This is Nirvana.
This goes beyond the temporary enlightenment of borrowing the Moon Goddessesā powers. This is the true transcendence of 7āthe overlap of the appearance and the intrinsic.
Thereās an argument to be made that Zandik already achieved alchemical enlightenment because his death perfected the Elixir of Immortality, which Pantalone has been consuming for the last three centuries. But that was only the material side. He has yet to undergo the psychological transmutation. Dottore couldnāt because, as a Segment, his worldview is fixed.
Ironically, Dottore believed he had attained enlightenment when he infiltrated Irminsul. Instead, just like the Heretic of the False Moon had to die to infiltrate Irminsul and be re-unified with the other half of that soul to become the Datattore, Dottore can only reach enlightenment after his (ego) death.
The description of his boss domain, Binding Field of Universal Nirvana
The Pyro Gnosis
Now back to 3-4-7. In addition to those numbers being all over Dottore and found in Chymical Marriage quest item, 347 also appears in Mavuikaās animated short as the last number she passes when she drives through time.
Initially, I read this as her āvertical ascensionā to godhood. But, while she took up the position of Pyro Archon when she revived in the present, she was already an Archon before that.
What if, instead, the 347 in her trailer is still about Dottore. What if itās there as a nod to the role the Pyro Gnosis plays in his project of transcending his own limitations.
Nahida and the Traveler use the Pyro Gnosis to burn Irminsulā¦ the same Gnosis that powered the Sacred Flame capable of raising people from the dead. In fact, that was the last thing we saw the Pyro Gnosis do at the end of the Natlan arc.
In the denouement of 6.6, Nahida tells us that Irminsul burned for 7 days and 7 nights. I refuse to believe that this is a coincidence. The game itself tells us that 7 is the number of vertical transcendence, ascension, enlightenment, etc.
To me, this seven-day convergence in the Pyro-Gnosis-heated crucible sounds a lot like the psychological alchemical process above, a process of breaking down and confronting the constitutive elements of the self, discarding what does not serve, and then unifying whatās left into an enlightened whole that is no longer controlled by the ego. The Pyro Gnosisās fire is meant to purify not destroy.
Redemption Via Analytical Psychology
The benefit of this transformation is that it effectively ācleansesā Zandik in the same way Scaramoucheās rebirth as Wanderer ācleansesā him for playability. It establishes a distance between the transmuted Zandik and the Dottore who murdered Niwa on screen.
We have also seen this process occur with Durin, who was brought back and redeemed using the Art of Khemia. In the Magnum Opus, Alchemy is described through four stages attributed to chemical color changes: Nigredo (black), Albedo (white), Citrinatas (yellow), and Rubedo (red-purple). Unsurprisingly, Durinās story quest is titled Draco Rubedo.
So, Albedo and Rubedo are already accounted for with their playable counterparts. (I would also offer that Citrinatas could be Rhinedottir i.e. Gold who has quite literally merged with Naberius, but thatās a whole other essay).
Perhaps, then, Dottore will be our next alchemically enlightened character, this one corresponding to the burnt matter of the initial calcination/burning process. In Jungās analytical psychology, the nigredo phase stands in for āthe dark night of the soul, when an individual confronts the shadow within.ā
So basically...
Where countless broken souls converge, he shall hear the verdict of his own soul.
(Incidentally, this could also explain why they made the odd aesthetic choice to represent Dattatore as a void shadow with a mouth).
I am desperately going to cling to this hope.
Already, Iāve seen a shift in how people are viewing Zandik/Dottore. Opinions toward him have become a lot more sympathetic, and I think this is a very canny, deliberate move on Hoyoās part, paving the way for an eventual resurrection of a more balanced, enlightened whole.
(But also what the fuck is up with the lizard? I really need to know.)
In 2026, the chicest thing a gay actor can do is never explicitly come out as gay but also make it abundantly clear that he is. Coming out is too modern. Staying closeted is too old fashioned. But this method merges contemporary freedom with Old Hollywood glamour and allure, and it weeds out the dumbest people who truly donāt get it. I call it the Pascal Method.
You clearly don't go here or to queer history and signaling, or both, enough to have this conversation and I'm not going to explain it to you. You could have asked questions, you could have done even a modicum of research. You didn't and you made yourself look ignorant. Goodbye.
#I'm fucking crying#this is an instant classic#this is the next meme#i can't believe I'm here to see a baby copypasta nary two hours old#I can't#lol#i laughed way too hard#iconic
Dottoreās Long Con: On Colluding with Nahida and Playing the Villainās Part
Or: Part II of Why I Think Dottore Is Coming Back
While rewatching Act V of the Sumeru Archon Quest, a thought occurred to me: Did Nahida recognize that Irminsul needed to burn after Dottore told her the truth of the world? Could they have devised a strategy all the way back in 3.2?
What if Dottore has been playing the role of the villain so that he and Nahida could liberate Teyvat from the fetters of fate without calling down the punishment of the shades?
This is a companion essay to my last post on how Dottore might be resurrected and redeemed enough to be playable through the principles of alchemical enlightenment. Itās not necessary to read that one for this to make sense, but the ideas support one another.
TLDR
Dottore reveals to Nahida that Irminsul has been hiding a secret that jeopardizes her ability to embody the principles of the God of Wisdom
Nahida canāt directly intervene without running the risk of calling down a Celestial Nail. She needs a villain so convincing that burning Irminsul seems like the lesser of two evils
Dottore has lived his entire life being seen and treated as a madman. Heās perfectly content to play the villainās part as long as it furthers his goals of exposing the truth of the world
Dottore and Nahida are foils for one another. They are both branches of a whole, and her purification in the bower of Irminsul at the end of 3.2 foreshadows Dottoreās own return from the crucible of the tree of knowledge.
By jointly dismantling the fate system with Nahida, Dottore liberates himself from the fate of the heretic, and guarantees his free will going forward
Grab a snack because this is gonna get long
The Intolerable Truth of the World
At the end of the 3.2 Archon Quest, after the Traveler and Nahida have seemingly purified Irminsul from the stain of Forbidden Knowledge, Dottore shows up for our annual Fatui-mandated Gnosis negotiation.
The first thing he does is knock the Traveler out while barely lifting a finger. This will be important to keep in mind. If Dottore didnāt intend to be defeated in Nod-Krai, he could have disarmed the Traveler at any point. He has the technology to do so.
With the Traveler unconscious and no witnesses around Dottore offers to tell Nahida about the false sky, the secret hidden by Irminsul concerning the ātruthā of this world.
Despite knowing the dangers of Forbidden Knowledgeāand despite knowing how dangerous Dottore is himselfāNahida agrees not only to hear him out but also to do so in exchange for her Gnosis.
The system that she is meant to protectāthat she is quite literally a part ofāhas been hiding truth from her. Would this revelation not be enough to shake her convictions in the Heavenly Principles? Would Nahida, the God of Wisdom, be content to rule in a world that is lying to the people and binding their free will ? I donāt think so.
My out of pocket theory is that she and Dottore established the importance of divesting Teyvat of Irminsulās control in the Sanctuary of Surasthana three years ago with the goal of liberating the world from pre-programmed destiny. This was the true agreement in exchange for the Gnoses, an agreement that would be paid in full with the final missing chess piece. Dottoreās note about it being time to say goodbye seems a little pointed in retrospect.
The Doctor: Once I finish telling you about this, it will be time for me to say goodbye.
The Doctor: With negotiations, we've all gotten what we wanted. I'm very glad I got to meet you like this.
But the goodbye doesnāt come at the end of 3.2. It takes place in 6.6.
Instead, as their dialogue wraps up in the Sanctuary, the gameās narration tells us:
Several days seems like more than enough time for the two most brilliant minds in Teyvat to hatch a heretical plan to overthrow the false fates. That āeverything falls silentā also seems a little suspect now that we know Dottore can use Irminsul to create a ābubble of silenceā to shield Sumeru from Celestiaās eyes. They would have been able to script what comes next without any interference from the Shades.
The Theatre of Rebellion
So far, the game has shown us quite a few ways in which the Archons have performed surrendering or losing their Gnoses. Venti had his āforciblyā torn from him by Signora (we donāt actually believe it would have been that easy, do we?). Zhongli has his ācontract to end all contracts.ā Focalors has her 500 year play. Nahida is Ā reminded of the ādisparityā between her combat abilities and Dottoreās.
All these reasons for forfeiting their Gnoses to the Harbingers donāt seem particularly compelling when we look at them through human intuition. But they might appear convincing enough to an Artificial Intelligenceās scans. Certainly convincing enough that the Shades wonāt have to punish the Archons for collusion. In other words, the Archons have found loopholes in the computer program, which they exploit to assist the Tsaritsa without making it look like theyāre participating in her rebellion.
If, as the game seems to be suggesting, (some of the) Archons sought to overthrow fate 500 years ago and were devastatingly punished for it, they understand that they need to be a little more strategic this time. And so they play a long game, often alluded to with talk of chess pieces.
There is no way Nahida can burn Irminsul of her own volition without the Shades turning Sumeru into Khaenriāah 2.0. Weāve seen what happens when leaders go beyond their mandates. But what if thereās a compelling enough reason to convince the Shades that Nahida setting fire to Irminsul is the lesser of two evils. A villain so dangerous that destroying the primordial tree is the only option.
The Role of a Villain
One of the things I havenāt seen talked about much is the fact that almost everyone in Sumeru survived 6.6. Those that didnāt only died because they refused to follow the evacuation plan that Nahida had ready to go at a momentās notice. Almost like she expected this!
Dottore is continually made out to be a violent monster who relishes murdering as many people as possible, but the moment he seems like greatest threat heā¦ doesnāt actually hurt a hair on anyoneās head. Donāt get me wrong, my man has done some terrible shit (RIP Niwa), but he also seems to be judged rather harshly by the Traveler and their pals. Too harshly, in fact.
Isnāt it interesting that the Traveler is so quick to revile Dottore when they champion Wandererās rehabilitation? And isnāt it ironic that the Traveler wonāt even hear Dottore out for a minute, yet theyāre somehow chummy with Liloupar. Liloupar!!! You know, the one who cursed generations of her own descendants, puppeteered her children into incestuous relationships and murder plots, and ultimately destroyed Gurabad by harnessing the power of the Abyss. Yeah, that Liloupar.
Iāll take my chances with the blue haired guy, actually, thanks
Dottore is an arrogant little shit (affectionate) with questionable methods, but show me one time he eviscerated an entire civilization using an Abyssal plague. In fact, Dottore actually figures out how to cure a plague.
Which brings me to my most cancelable take: one of the things that bothered me about the 6.6 Archon Quest was the utter lack of nuance directed toward Dottoreās experimentation on and treatment of Collei. I fully recognize that a child who undergoes painful but life-saving medical intervention can see their doctors as evil because of the agonizing immediacy of the treatment itself. That trauma stays with you. But why do none of the adults around Collei acknowledge the fact that Dottoreās treatment saved her life? Be for real, there would be no Collei if Dottoreās god-science hadnāt cured Eleazar. We saw with Dunyarzad that the decline is quick. Collei wouldnāt have survived until the Traveler purified the tree if she was already in such rough shape as a child.
Which brings me back to a key aspect of Dottoreās character: he no longer minds being seen as a villain as long as it allows him to further his goal of liberating himself (and, by extension the world) from the fetters of fate. Ā Ā
The Doctor: You know, I heard recently that a group of critics reviewed countless stories and drew an interesting conclusion: They found that it is more often than not the villains who strive tirelessly to push the boundaries of progress.
The Doctor: In fact, long before this, someone voiced a similar idea in an Akademiya editorial. I felt a great affinity with this perspective. I have never been afraid to step up and play the role of the villain.
The Doctor: But all sacrifices made during my experiments have been worthwhile, as you can now see. I can offer you something new, something unique, precisely because I am a villain.
The Doctor: I say, better to be governed by a flawed humanity than a Gnosis. The true seeker of knowledge is the villain who undergoes countless tribulations in pursuit of their goal.
(Are you really a villain or are you just playing one? The lady doth protest too much, methinks)
Dottore has been called a madman ever since he was a child. We find out that he lost his compassion at 8 years old because the people around him were terrified of his ideas. This doesnāt condone what heās done, but it certainly explains his outlook. We also know that, in many cases, Dottoreās ideas are correct even if his methods are not morally good. Heās frequently judged by people whose worldviews come from divine proclamations that have been shown to be unreliable or falsely planted by Phanes.
In plain terms, Dottore is called a madman and a lunatic by flat-earthers and anti-vaxxers. Now what weāve been to the moon and gazed upon Teyvat, we know those people are wrong. The Sages are out here banning books and constraining research through the cardinal sins because they fear the wrath of the Heavenly Principles, but this places knowledge and wisdom in fundamental tension. While Dottoreās experimental-free-for-all isnāt exactly an ideal solution, the game makes it clear that ignoranceāwhile a blissful dreamāisnāt the right answer either.
Dottore is disappointed in the Traveler in 6.3 because they have yet to realize that Teyvat is trapped in a simulation. It is the Sabzeruz Festival on a much, much grander scale. When Dottore implies as much, the Traveler refers to his question as āpure sophistryā that has ānothing to do with [his] actionsā when in fact they very much do. Dottore had hoped that the Traveler, having already experience the dream cycle in miniature, would have picked up on it by now.
Anyway, because Dottore gave up on regurgitating existing research years ago, heās perfectly content to embrace the mantle of madman. In fact, heās fated to do so by the very system heās attempting to overthrow. His name quite literally translates to Heretic. This was always going to be his role.
So Dottore doesnāt give two shits about the fact that Collei thinks heās a monster; what matters is the fact that sheās alive to do so because he cured the uncurable (never mind the fact that people later refused the cure because they thought Eleazar was their āpunishment from god,ā which doubtless contributes to his absolute contempt for the ārulesā). Similarly, he doesnāt care that the people of Nod-Krai think heās a monster because his experiments in the moonlit nation allowed him to achieve two of his most lofty goals:
1. He created a god out of Columbina.
Her Character Trailer makes it clear through visual storytelling that Dottore is the one guiding her entire narrative arc.
2. He infiltrated Irminsul like a Virus
By having the āgood guysā kill him and send him into Irminsul, he created an anchor for the other half of his soul (just as Luonnotar was the anchor for Columbina)
Letās not forget that the entire Heretic of the False Moon boss battle is staged. Itās a performance.
Thatās more like it; some results of value.
Good, keep it up. Iām still collecting data.
He orchestrates his death as part of a long game of game of infiltrating Irminsul to put an end to the false fates. And if Dottore had all this planned out, I can only assume that he has his own resurrection planned as well, right down to the reunification of his soul in the crucible of Irminsul.
In fact, I think his resurrection was foreshadowed in 3.X as well.
Rebirth and The Sabzeruz Festival
Since I was going down a 3.X rabbit hole, I figured I may as well go all the way and look at the rest of the quest, especially the Sabzeruz Festival. And boy is it ever interesting after 6.6.
The Sabzeruz Festival was a collective dream, which the Sages harvested via the Akasha Terminal to power Dottoreās false god project. In the initial loop, the Traveler and Dunyarzad walk the streets of the city, stopping at various stalls.
The first stall is Amalās which offers food from the Haft-Mewa Feast which Dunyarzad tells us is when people āset their tables with seven different foods to symbolize the seven virtues of the Dendro Archon.ā
The irl inspiration behind this feast is Half Seen (or Seven Sās), a core tradition in the celebration of Nowrus, the Persian New Year, which marks the vernal equinox. This tradition involves arranging seven objects on a table or mantle, each of which has a name beginning with the letter S, and that, together, symbolize life and renewal. In addition to these seven elements, celebrants also include a ābook of wisdomā from which the eldest member of a family will recite a page for guidance on the upcoming year.
Which brings us to Kimiya, the next person we meet in the quest. Kimiyaās name derives from the Arabic word for chemistry, which is, in turn, connected to the Ancient Greek Kimia, meaning alchemy or elixir of life. Importantly, in a lot of Persian literature, Kimia refers less to the chemical or material side of alchemy than to its spiritual or psychological side, the transmutation of the self.
Kimiya has a bunch of interesting things to say that never really made much sense until Natlan and Nod-Krai:
Kimiya: ...The remnants appear to be in the form of the Moon.
Paimon: Really? Paimon thought it looked like some kind of food.
Kimiya: Hmm... The Moon signifies... Hmm... It's escaping me for now. Wait a moment...
Paimon: Is he really looking it up in a book?
Kimiya: Oh, right, it means illusions and lies.
Kimiya: But if you trust your intuition and overcome your fears, the sun will surely rise.
Kimiya: This is divine wisdom.
Moon remnantsā¦ illusions and liesā¦ the sun risingā¦ Sounds a little bit like Mavuika punching a hole into the sky to me. And, after Nod-Krai, all this talk about the moon followed by the loop of Number Four is pretty intriguing.
And then we go to Viharās stall where we meet Farris, the Knight of Flowers. In Iranian folklore, HÄji Firuz appears in the streets at the beginning of Nowruz after returning from the world of the dead, his red clothes symbolizing the resurrection of the sacrificed deity. These are common motifs in figures meant to symbolize the transition from winter (dead) to spring (resurrection).
Clearly, the Sabzeruz Festival is very much a celebration of Nahidaās liberation and her return to her power after Greater Lord Rukkhadevataās sacrifice. But Genshinās narratives often work on multiple levels, telling and retelling stories, foreshadowing overarching plots through mirrored themes in endless mise en abimes. Just look at how many times Simulanka has foreshadowed the plotline ever since the summer of 2024. This isnāt accidental; Teyvat runs on cycles, samsaras, repeating histories with minor variations on the theme.
And it's still going strong.
Beyond Nahidaās narrative, the Sabzeruz Festival can nod to Columbinaās resurrection from the world of the dead (the Moonās Reflection) as moon number four. But it can also foreshadow Dottoreās return because Nahida and Dottore are set up as foils for one another.
Branches of a Whole
Dottore and Nahida share many parallels. Theyāre both 500(ish) year-old geniuses from Sumeru, theyāve both been victims of the Sages, they both adopt some questionable methods at times for the āgreater good.ā But most saliently to me, theyāre both portrayed as branches of a whole.
Nahida is referred to as a branch of Irminsul, a segment of the original tree. After completing the Sumeru Archon Quest, we obtain the 5 Star Quest Item Silver Twig.
This twig is Nahida, a branch of Rukkhadevata now coming into her own being after Rukkhadevata returns to the people of Sumeru their ability to dream.
Greater Lord Rukkhadevata: From the earth
Greater Lord Rukkhadevata: And from the rain
Greater Lord Rukkhadevata: We perceive its wonders until we become a white bird
Greater Lord Rukkhadevata: To perch atop a branch...
Greater Lord Rukkhadevata: And finally snap off the most important leaf
Guess what we get when we defeat Dottore? A Twisted Withered Branch. Because Dottore is also a branch of a kind, a Segment of Zandik. The āmost insaneā branch, but a branch nonetheless.
In the Godās Limits trailer, we also get this striking visual image of a white raven with a black ravenās reflection.
If Rukkhadevata/Nahida is the white bird perched atop a branch, Dottore is her counterpart. He even wears the dark plumage on his shoulders and is constantly portrayed alongside motifs of black birds (his artifact being the Pale Flame feather is another good one).
Subtlety is not exactly his forte
All of this also calls to mind the work MC Escher, which is full of tessellations of interlocking black and white birds. In these woodcuts, the white and black birds both emerge out of and give shape to one another. They are inextricable. And we know that Dottore has quite the connection with Escher.
Nahidaās resurrection in Irminsul wherein she meets the other part of herself foreshadows Dottoreās return after hearing the verdict of his own soul in that very same tree. They approach the parts of themselves from completely opposite sides, but these parallels are intentional, especially when we consider that 6.6 is a continuation of the Sumeru quest as much as the Nod-Krai quest.
(The downside here is that Nahida forgets Rukkhadevata and it will suck if Zandik gets totally memory wiped, buuuut Iāll take it if it means heās playable).
Another thing I thought was interesting: in Tlingit oral storytelling, the White Raven is a trickster and a key figure in tales of creation. At the beginning, the world is engulfed in darkness, the sun, moon, and stars hoarded in boxes by a wealthy noble. Boldly endeavouring to shine light upon the world, Raven transforms himself and infiltrates the nobleās house, playing the role of the manās grandson for years until at last he shifts back to his true form, steals the light from their boxes, and escapes through the chimney. As he ascends, his plumage is darkened with soot. He becomes the Black Raven while bringing light to the world.
Dottore and Nahida are both tricksters of a kind. They both play long games with sleight of hand, and they both ultimately want to shed light on the truths of the world. While they might have different perspectives on wisdom and enlightenment, their overarching convictions arenāt actually all that far off from one another, despite what Nahida may say.
And so we might askā¦
Who Really Won, In the End?
The ending of the 6.6 Archon Quest is weird. On the surface, it concludes the way most of the AQs do: good prevails over evil, team Traveler-and-the-power-of-friendship valiantly defeats the boss, and everyone celebrates with a grand feast. It appears to be yet another triumphant ending.
Butā¦ is it really?
Because, from where Iām standing, it still kind of looks like Dottore won.
The Harbingersā stated goal under Pierro has been to āburn down the old world.ā Dottore wants to liberate humanity from the limitations that have been imposed on them. Pantalone wants a world where humans can be on equal footing with the gods. The old world burned exactly as they wanted.
It just so happened that the āgood guysā were the ones who struck the match.
Goodbye, We Will (Never?) Meet Again
Iāll acknowledge that Dottoreās conversation with Nahida at the very end of 6.6 seems to throw a wrench into my theory because he seems surprised that she set fire to the tree. But, again, heās a stellar performer. Perhaps, now that the shield is down, he needs to reprise his role as villain one last time to really make it convincing for the Shades. āOoh, you outsmarted me! I canāt see any other outcomes.ā I donāt believe this guy for a second.
The fact that Nahida ends on āGoodbyeā just feels so deliberate after Dottore promising her that itās time to say goodbye after he tells her about the false sky.
And then that last little bit in the questās denouement where Nahida says:
The matter of Dottore can be seen as settled for now. We are sure to cross paths again in the future, and in that light, Snezhnaya would do well to uphold their responsibilities and keep a tight rein over their actions.
Maybe sheās talking about the other Harbingers butā¦ thatās really not what this sentence says at all. On a grammatical level, she says we are certain to cross paths with Dottore again; thereās no pronoun ambiguity here. (This can certainly be a localization issue, but I will continue clinging to it until they go in and change it.)
Iāve also been a little confused about Pantaloneās comment to Dottore about not wanting āto admit defeat in the limited time [he has].ā What limited time? Segments donāt age! For all intents and purposes, Dottore is effectively immortal. And, as Pantalone later says, there was no reason for the experiment to end.
Dottore knew he was going to die. In fact, I think he was counting on it as part of a plan already set into motion with Nahida in 3.2,. That plan also involves his return. Heās happy to play the role of the villain because there has to be a villain to work against the Shades programming. Had he not performed a convincing world-ending threat, Nahida would never have gotten away with burning the tree in pursuit of true wisdom.
But just as Nahida is a branch reborn in an effort to purify the tree of knowledge, Zandik will be reborn from the burning tree after brining light (true knowledge) to the world. Irminsul isnāt entirely gone. The roots are still thereāsurely enough for him to spring back.
Unshackled, from the fate of the heretic, when he rises again, he can choose his own path. Perhaps, then, this is what Pantalone meant when he said Dottoreās death his favorite part. Theyāre finally free.
Nemora's Nest @whispering--woods - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
