Blue Jellyfish

Elena, 20 Greece. Sometimes I get sad and write sad things. I'm fine.

[whiteansuz]

Scars.

I look down, at my lefft arm.

It’s full of small, white scars.

They are almost invisible.

You would never notice them, unless I’d tell you.

But I never will.

[whiteansuz]

And I beg for some attention

Please look at me

I’m sinking in the abyss

Please notice me

Help

[whiteansuz]

I have a little secret

You will never ever know

Sometimes when I’m down

I cut the skin in my arm

To feel again

[whiteansuz]

I often think

about killing myself

Not that I would actually do it;

just curiosity

How it would it feel. How I would feel. How other would feel.

Painful, I guess? Probably.

Free? Fear? Relieved? Regret? Peacful? Pain? 

Nothing?

Pain. The blame game. Pain. Anger. Pain. Guilt. Pain. Acceptance? Peace.

But I’m too scared of Death.

And I hope in better times.