Why I'm Probably Right

And reality isn't.

[whyimprobablyright]

My lovely cousin and her friend Christina won themselves some awards tonight :) congrats you perdy ladies!

[whyimprobablyright]

Just found this old screenshot, why I had to post it is pretty self explanatory

[whyimprobablyright]

It's like a god damn blizzard out there. Better not go to the gym. For safety. Could die in transit.

[whyimprobablyright]

It's like a god damn blizzard out there. Better not go to the gym. For safety. Could die in transit.

[whyimprobablyright]

I was yelling at Boyfriend for not knowing who Jerry Garcia was.

Me: THE GRATEFUL DEAD! HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THEM?

Boyfriend: Like Walking Dead?

Me: AAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Boyfriend: Shhhh I have a headache.

Me: No you don't.

Boyfriend: No. But I... could.

[whyimprobablyright]

I have a Hallmark moment to share with everyone -

Tonight (wait for it)... I cooked. Like for-real grown up cooking. And I didn't even burn down the kitchen.

[whyimprobablyright]

Dude gets arrested. What does he do the whole ride to the station? Sings Bohemian Rhapsody the entire way there. Like a champ.

[whyimprobablyright]

My friend does some website editing for GirlsGoneWild...

Me: Whatcha doin?

Friend: Working.

Friend: Does it bother you that 9/10 times you talk to me I am most likely watching porn?

Me: Well I can't really unhear it... so there's that.

Friend: Yep. Job's a job though.

Me: I feel like there's a joke there.

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I was looking for a paper app on my iPhone...

Me: Ok, I would just like to say... there are 25+ apps that are all called Paper Toss.

Me: How much effort does it take in real life, to wad up a piece of paper and toss it in the bin.

Boyfriend: Well you have to keep getting up to get the paper to throw it again.

Me: Only y- oh my god. There's even a Paper Toss 2.0

Me: And there's one where you unroll toilet paper?

Boyfriend: Yeah, I've played that one.

Me: Remind me why I'm dating you again?

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Why ARE you probably right?

Because probable implies a margin for error. Just like you're probably not trying to be a pain in the ass by asking stupid questions since you're far too considerate to do such a thing.

[whyimprobablyright]

Construction work is not conducive to recording music. And washer/dryer, you're jerks too. [UPDATE]

I just put my clock out in the hallway, and I'm about to shoot a small family of birds outside my window. The mailman doesn't even stand a chance.

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Stupid Americans..

Whilst at a restaurant in Belgium, I attempted to explain to the nice Belgian waiter that I wanted my leftovers to go. I did this with many intricate hand gestures and about half way through he interrupted me and said, "yeah, I get it."

[whyimprobablyright]

I think I've been compromised. By Hobnobs.

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So I'm home alone for the day...

There's something so liberating about peeing with the door open when your flatmates aren't home.

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All I wanted was a peanut butter sammich...

Dear Management, It's kind of a jerk move to make peanut butter last basically forever, but make a loaf of bread go off in a week. Seriously. What the hell were you thinking. Sincerely, IHaveNoEffingBread

[whyimprobablyright]

So, Boyfriend is a cat person..

Whilst we were driving...

Me: Aww, there was a dead cat on the side of the road!

Boyfriend: Oh no, don't say that!!

Boyfriend: Say it was a dead hedgehog or a dead...

Boyfriend:....

Me: You were going to say dog.

Boyfriend: Puppy.

Me: You're going to hell.

[whyimprobablyright]