i can’t sleep no more
in my head, we belong
and i can’t be without you
why can’t i find no one like you?
katherine used to like her life. she really did. she has accomplished more than what her father ever thought a SIMPLE girl like her could. more than what klaus had planned for her. the stupid bulgarian girl who believed in love too strongly. she could go as far as saying that everything she had ever dreamed of as a child had come true. her life is exactly the way she wants it. it’s what katherine tells herself every night. waking up in different bed, waking up in hers, a different man or woman next to her…blood splattered all over silk white sheets, messy chocolate curls going down her naked back. money, souls, power, domination and submission. it could be worse, it could be a lot worse. even when she walks around with this ‘i dont give a fuck attitude’, she does indeed care about her future. she based her entire life around the idea of being better than everyone else. she IS the better monster now. she likes her life. she likes being in control. she likes looking at someone and making the choice of whether to let them live or not. there’s a lot of power behind that.
but things are not the same anymore. everyday a new knife in her back. the thrill is gone. the queen of the crossroads doesn’t know if being a queen makes her happy anymore. she hates how numb she has become. she hates not having a soul. she wants it back! she craves it! she hates feeling so empty. so maybe she’s searching for that thrill back. katherine just wants to feel alive again, is that too much to ask? she knows the truth now though. a fool’s errand. there’s no getting that back. it’s gone - forever. all that blood has been spilled for nothing.
it was her sudden decline to insanity that’s been cracking the facade she’s been putting on for so long and now, it’s too late for her to put back the mask. not that she really wants to. humanity feels constricted. it’s overrated. IT’S OVERRATED. and caspian? caspian is stirring feelings…because all katherine has ever wanted is to be loved. to be accepted. cared for. elijah had promised her all that - he had lied. stefan had promised her all that - he had lied. even damon lied. but that girl is now dead. even as a vampire she was weak. this katherine? this katherine is strong! she’s wrapped in darkness. then why it feels like she’s locked up inside a cage with no room to breathe, keys out of reach, lights out, silent and cold. caspian keeps getting closer to her, asking new questions. better questions. better than hers anyway. her back hits the side of the cotton candy booth, the demon dropping the stuffed animal on the floor. her eyes flare in bright red, demonic features showing underneath the angelic-like looks she possesses. right now she finds herself finding whatever spark she was looking for again in HIS eyes. frankly, she doesn’t know how she’s supposed to feel about that. about anything anymore. about HIM in particular.
i tried to find out
when none of them came through
and now i’m stuck in the middle
and baby had to pull me out
because unlike others i won’t trade you for someone that shares your face.
he steals her from tatia. walks straight towards them, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her towards himself. a kiss. a second one. a light wink to tatiana as he steals her date. and his hands are all over her, the demon finding herself lost in his yellow eyes. her lips seek his as she softly moans, her own hands finding their way up his body until she grabs him by his collar. a chuckle leaves her, more of a scoff actually. echoes around them, as she catches her breathing. “i don’t think YOU can give me the sex i’m looking for.” now she’s challenging him. it’s more than obvious. she’s making it obvious. this is HER game. right palm slides down to his chest, nails digging into his flesh through the shirt alone. “bloody. messy. i want to be ripped apart…and you, BABY, you don’t give me that energy.” of course, if he gives in - he’s just like the others. BUT if he doesn’t give in - then she knows he’s not her match. either way, no one wins. they both lose. she leans in kissing him once more, slipping her tongue inside his mouth, his own taste mixing with the taste of blood. intoxicating truly. that’s what demonic tastes like. what no soul tastes like. like caspian.
caspian knew that this was not gonna be easy, he had seen her heart get broken more times than he could count. he wished he would have stepped in made her promises of a better tomorrow but he hadn’t. he couldn’t he had no idea or plan on how to escape hell again, he had used a distraction. a fight between a hells knight and lucifer to slip out of hell because one can only take so much of the same routine before it starts to feel like torture. he had become so numb to the pain he inflicted on others the screams of them bored him. he escaped to gain something different, but living on earth wouldn’t make him as powerful as hell. he wouldn’t have thousands of demons at his disposal like he did there. the crazy thing about power it that it becomes an addiction, the more you get and the more you want. never knowing when enough is enough, even being so close to the top wasn’t enough for caspian. it didn’t make him happy like he though he would be, after thousands of years. he craved something different.
something that not even lucifer could tempt him with. something the king of hell himself didn’t fully have. FREEDOM. freedom to do as he pleased, go as he wished, but most importantly make the one person that mad him inspire for that h a p p y. did he truly believe that could happen? a very deep part of him knew it was an unreachable goal. when you were damn to hell there was no happy endings. there just simply couldn’t be. the thing about caspian was that he didn’t care about what was possible because that’s the thing about hell, it teaches you that there is no rules. its a madhouse run by power. a madhouse nonetheless. loyalty was not something that got you into hell. E V E R Y O N E had a price, he that’s how he had moved the pieces to make katherine the queen of the crossroads.
he could see it on her face even though she tried to hide it, he could see it because that suffocating feeling of cold and emptiness he had been feeling it for far more longer. because it didn’t matter how far in the ranks of hell you got, it was a place to keep misery and the longer you stayed the more it became the only thing you could feel. yet, he refused to let himself sink into it. he refused to give into it, he refused to let H E R give into it as well. he would find the way even if he had to burn this place to the ground.
caspian lets himself yet lost in the kiss because even with out his soul, he knows this feels different. he can’t fully understand it but it different it something that would a soul would melt his insides and he wouldn’t care. he kissed her back till she pulled away to catch her breath and grip on to him, he let out a growl as her fingers dug into his flesh there was pain but not enough to make him uncomfortable. it was enough to remind him he wasn’t fully dead. he places his hand against her jaw as his fingers linger lightly against her neck, “t r y me, darling. torture might be what i know for but pleasure. real pleasure, is my best work.” he husked out against her lips.
he kisses her deeply again as he grabs the back of her neck, sucking on her lip as he pulls his head back a bit. eyes glowing yellower than before his demonic features shining through, “is that what you want k i t t e n? for me to completely rip you apart just to put you back together?” he breathes against her lips, “Because i will, i’ll rip you apart at every inch but i won’t leave you like that.” he said against her lips as he tugs her body against his, he lets their tongues dance in a battle for dominance he has full intention on winning. he moves his hands to her throat and gives her a light squeeze to her throat, “it’s just you and i, kitten. you and me.” he whispered against her lips, “happiness is a state of mind, not s o u l.” he whispered before kissing her against deeply as he wraps her leg around his waist as he uses his powers to teleport them to his bed.
