FOR THOSE WHO’RE STRUGGLING WITH INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS
Indifference
I was asked, how do I show indifference instead of giving my negative thoughts denial? Indifference is shown by practicing restricting the urge to react. Even claiming, "No I am not," or "No" to a thought you dislike is not "bad" or "wrong" but it still is giving it attention. And again, attention here meaning reaction. Suppose today you had a thought that you were stupid or something negative toward yourself. You accidentally react and feel a surge of emotions come. By in large, these emotions are intense and familiar. Since they are familiar, the lure to believe them is greater. So to not be lured into that dark abyss of harmful thoughts, you fight against it and say "No, I will not go there." You feel good about yourself that you stood up this harmful thought. You feel you defeated it. But then tomorrow comes, and that thought you just defeated may have only lost but it has not given up. It comes back again and then you say "Well, last time I said "No, I will not go there," and it worked, so I will do it again. Then you win, feel good about yourself, then tomorrow comes...This dilemma seems never ending. Other tactics are used yet, you find yourself back at square one every time. What happens next is that this patterned is noticed and over time you start to feel that you are stuck. After many tactics, how could not be any bit further? Maybe you are stuck? But what must be realized is that you are the creating the thought. That thought is coming from a State! And a State is FEELING we have towards ourself. So with this understanding, we must see that we should not be fighting thoughts but changing our State, our feeling toward ourself. Instead of reacting when that thought comes, do not speak. Just stop the reaction. Don't waste a breath on it. I don't care what it is, or if it is even true at a time. If it does not conform to who you want to be, your new State (feeling toward self) don't react to it. Even if you do react, take it back. Slowly stop yourself, but and move on to what you want. Do not look back wondering if you won, or if it will come back. That is to give it attention again. Your attention is precious, life-giving water and it needs to be given the plants, States that aid your life. Move on. You may want to look back, you may feel afraid to move on, but do it. Move on to the next thought and give that your full attention. It feels incredible knowing it is your attention that keeps things alive in your mind and you have to power to remove the attention/reaciton. When a thought comes, and it feels as though it slapped you in the face with emotions, turn the other cheek. Don’t cave into it, because you don’t have to. This is the art of forgiveness. I do not care if at one point you were insecure in yourself and you made mistakes, if this does not conform to your new State, then do not react to it. If you must, observe it, and practice not reacting. Practice not speaking to it. The move on and feel deserving to move on. You will feel a freedom in you when you realize you do not have to react. You will feel in control of yourself. You will feel there is no "other" in your mind ruining things. You will feel a harmony within. Then you will see, it was you all along. It was you putting that freighting thought in your mind. It was you who was holding a bad/fearful feeling toward yourself. This was the cause. So change the feeling about Inner Self, and you will find it far far easier to not react to thoughts that no longer aid. It is ok to let them go. Feel deserving of a good life. Feel you deserving of a loving relationships. Feel good about your contributions to life. Feel tall, powerful. Feel yourself to be loving. Why not? If a thought comes to stop you from feeling those wonderful feeling, then practice indifference! Forgive yourself by letting go of all the hindrances! —
You cannot commit to a State unless there is love. So make yourself so lovely that you cannot help but fall in love with yourself. And this State is not something you "will be" but something you are now. Realize you ALREADY are that State. Feel this as a present fact. Life is reflecting "I AM," not "I Will Be." And these are feelings, and "I AM" is a present fact feeling. There is no one to change but Self and Self is collection of States. So feel no shame changing. There is nothing else to do since life is reflecting Self.
CREATOR OF THOUGHT
1. Afraid of Thoughts
What I realized through hours and hours of meditation was that I was actually afraid of having a fearful thought. I was feeling afraid of having my wonderful thought ruined while I imagined a lovely scene. This means my true fear was actually the THOUGHT ITSELF. IT IS A FEELING PROBLEM! The thoughts in themselves do not matter, it is the feeling of fearing of them that is the problem.
2. I Am The Creator
Once I saw that I was afraid of the thoughts themselves, I took responsibility for creating them. There is nobody else within me who is thinking. I am the dreamer and what I dream within is my responsibility. I cannot feel it is something outside of me giving me these thoughts. I cannot believe in second causes. I sow and I reap. So I assumed the position of the Creator of ruining my own wonderful thoughts. I realized it was me who was sabotaging, me who was creating myself unsafe. This was wonderful news because if it is me who is doing it then I am allowed to stop it. So I practice seeing myself doing all the wonderful things I wanted and the moment that feeling of fear, that feeling of "Oh no, I hope nothing ruins it," in that instant I would realize I am the only one who can ruin it. So I naturally stopped myself from ruining and it felt incredible. Then I deeply deeply felt that I do not need to fear anyone in this world. The fear of others is just an assumption! I boldly assumed I was unafraid of everyone. That I could not be embarrassed nor ashamed. Since I realized that I am the one doing it, then I can grant myself anything! So I felt as deep as I can entire safety. I felt so safe to express myself how I wish. I felt nothing could ruin anything in my mind for it is just me! It is my own personal reality!
3. Life Reflects Me
I then realized that I cannot reap what I do not sow! Meaning if you are imagining safety, love and peace, you will not reap unsafely, hatred and chaos. GOD IS NOT MOCKED. "So, my tomorrow will be determined by the thought that I sow today. “Be not deceived; God is not mocked, whatever a man sows, that—-not something else—-that shall he also reap.” - Neville, The Sower 1965 If you feel after safety, excellence, brilliance you cannot reap anything else! The Mirror of Life cannot mock you! So do not fear that you will become something you do not wish. You cant! You can only be what you feel yourself to be!
4. Change My Feeling
If you have read my series then you know that you are given the permission to feel after what you want. You are allowed to feel yourself to be incredible, unafraid. The past does not control you, nor the fears of the future. These are all assumptions! The past does not have to effect at all! You can assume right now by feeling the absolute relief that the past has no power over you. The Imagination holds nothing back. It is not ashamed of you! The name "I AM" does not resist you because you did something in your past or of something that happened to you. You are not stuck by any means. God is not ashamed and will respond to anyone who takes the present position of I AM. Truly nothing holds you back in your Mind because EVERYTHING is yours in your Mind and your Mind contains every assumption you can conceive. When you realize these truths, you will have a peace in your body you didn't know you could have. You will meditate a heaven within and nothing can ruin it but yourself! Don't spoil it because it does not have to be spoiled! I did not want to make this a long and elaborate writing. I wanted it to be simple to understand and and give you the understanding that it is only you within. You do not have to worry about the thoughts of another. The only thing that can ruin anything is your own Imagination! You are FREE to assume what you like in The World of Imagination! Fear no man, fear no imaginal act. Imagine what pleases your soul, its free. The only price is your current limited conception!
Read this from Neville:
"So tonight, let me quote it in a simple, simple way. You sit quietly and now forget what you even did one second before. You may be ashamed of what you did; God isn’t. You’ve been made to feel that you did wrong, or maybe you did wrong in your own mind’s eye. But don’t think for one moment because you did something that you thought wrong or society may judge you harshly for, that you are not now worthy to call on his name if you know his name; his name is I AM. The night before you could have been plastered, the night before you could have done a thousand things of which you may be ashamed. It doesn’t stop you from getting the response from God if you call on his name. So you sit quietly, close your eyes (just to aid your attention), and then construct a simple—the simpler the better—the simplest little scene which implies the fulfillment of the dream. The holding of a piece of paper in your hand from a certain character, and that’s what you want, and it reads as you want it, well, that’s it. You want to take the hand of a friend, congratulate the friend on his good fortune, that’s it. You want to see the ring on a finger of some friend who is anxious to be happily married in this world, that’s it. Whatever is the end implying the fulfillment of the dream. And all you do, you do it naturally and simply; as you do it naturally, give it tones of reality, sensory vividness; and then open your eyes. Then hold God trustworthy!" - Neville
“Don’t try to analyze yourself, saying “What the devil have I done that was wrong?” because the minute you start that, you start blaming yourself. Because who in this world can honestly look himself in the face and not find unnumbered things that are unlovely! They may not have been externalized as yet, but they were thought. So no one can tell me he is without sin. All men have sinned. Not a man in this world can tell me he has not coveted; he has not in some way stolen if it’s only mentally. You can steal a man’s good name by describing him to another in unflattering terms, and therefore you take from him his good name. So you can steal, you can do all kinds of things in the psychological manner. So no man is without guilt, but no one! So don’t analyze yourself, because you’re going to find yourself guilty and then you cannot get off base. So forget what you have done. What you’ve done will come up and you will reap it, the whole thing will come, all things are coming, the tares and the wheat together. But start planting afresh. Start with something lovely, something wonderful, not only for self but for the extended self, the seeming other, who is really not another, it’s yourself pushed out. Simply see them as you would like to see them…fall in love with them. Fall in love with them not to possess them but to see that they’re happy and, well, secure in this world.” - Neville
”Don’t be anxious about tomorrow, for what you feel after now is your tomorrow." - Edward Art
And then I read a lecture from Neville this month and he says the same exact thing just differently,
"So, my tomorrow will be determined by the thought that I sow today." - Neville
What I am realizing is that the more and more you meditate on this Law, you will naturally come to the same conclusions that those greats in the past have come to. We are One.
