-poof!- H i y a D a r k i d o r k , w h a t ' d y o u g e t f o r C h r i s t m a s ?
Ah hello Wifif. I got quite a pile of… unique gifts. A new gun from your brother was rather delightful.A new computer from the Google brothers, equipped with the finest Google software of course…I now have a cactus on my desk named Jim from Trimmer, and I do believe the ever growing Jimfestation have accepted it as one of their own.Some new stationary from The Host as well as a microphoneYandereplier even made a blood soaked card for everyone, you should get yours soon.We expect you to be over for the yearly Cards Against Humanity game on the 30th of course, Wifif. Your brother misses you.-Cerevire Darkiplier
" O f c o u r s e , I w o u l d n ' t m i s s i t f o r t h e w o r l d ! A n d , I m i s s W i l t o o . . . h e w a s r a t h e r b u s y o n C h r i s t m a s i t s e e m e d . "
Wifif's face turned to one of horrible realization. " I h a v e n ' t g o t t e n a n y g i f t s y e t ! " He runs out yelling his goodbye over his shoulder before poofing away
-As Dark signs off for the night he catches one more of Wifif running off… welp… At least he still has time to get a gift for Wilford…It’s a couple weeks off yet.. He shuts off his laptop and rolls his neck, an audible crack heard…. Heading out he’s subjected to the horrid christmas carolling and pinches the bridge of his nose…. Just get through December …. it’ll be over soon…. ….……Ok fine Wilford maybe just one.. but no more puppy eyes geez… -Frostyplier the snowman was a jolly happy soul-
I ' m d o i n g g r e a t ! T h e r e ' s s n o w o n t h e g r o u n d , p r e t t y d e c o r a t i o n s , a n d C h r i s t m a s i s a l m o s t h e r e ! : D
-Darkiplier twitches visibly and for a moment his shell cracks silently… just a flicker…. Christmas… he;s already having to suffer the Buble right now… -
Well I’m -twitch- glad you’re enjoying yourself. Did you get your brother something nice?
For your original characters or your fictional favorites!
1. Everyday/casual/what they wear the most
2. Formal/black tie
3. Swimwear (ALT: on vacation)
4. Underwear (ALT: in a Snuggie or sweats)
5. Sportswear/exercise gear (ALT: trying to look tough)
6. Pajamas/sleepwear
7. At work/school (ALT: forced to attend a boring semi-formal event—graduation, family reunion, religious service, wedding, etc.)
8. Spring
9. Autumn
10. In very cold weather
11. In very hot weather
12. Rainy day (outdoors or indoors, your call)
13. Having a relaxing, lazy Sunday at home
14. Out in public but too tired to even try (or otherwise disheveled)
15. What they wear when they’re feeling confident/want to feel confident
16. On a date (ALT: at a restaurant/diner or enjoying a nice solitary walk/bike ride)
17. At a party or club (ALT: street fashion)
18. A favorite/prized item or outfit that they might reserve for certain occasions
19. What they wore as a kid/teenager (ALT: an item or outfit they love that everyone else thinks is ugly/unflattering)
20. In something another character made them wear (ALT: a personal item they are embarrassed to love)
21. Something from your wardrobe that they’d be most likely to wear (ALT: in something they would never wear in a million years and totally rocking it)
22. Something (esp. out of character) that would make you laugh if you saw them wear it—e.g. a goofy t-shirt, something you saw on TV, rollerskates, etc.
23. Incognito
24. Ugly sweater/thrift/vintage
25. Costume/cosplay (ALT: what they’d wear in a fictional universe of your choosing—e.g. in Middle Earth, as a Crystal Gem, as a Pokémon trainer, aboard Serenity, etc.)
26. Retro/period costume (ALT: ｔｈｅ ｆｕｔｕｒｅ or, if applicable, what they’d look like in contemporary society/our universe)
27. Subculture of your choice
28. In a ridiculously luxurious/regal ensemble (if they already dress ostentatiously, give them a makeunder)
29. Palette swap! Use a color scheme they wouldn’t normally wear—e.g. pastels if they usually wear all black, neons if they’re otherwise into neutrals
30. Any of the alternative prompts you’d like to try (ALT: WILD CARD!!)
“Walter this isn't funny anymore!” Wilford tearfully exclaimed from the bedside chair as he held his brother's hand. Dr. Iplier pushed aside the curtain surrounding them.
“W-”
“SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!” Wilford leapt to his feet and pulled out his gun. Dr. Iplier gasped and put his hash hands up, taking a step back.
“Wil.” A familiar voice echoed from the infirmary entrance. “Put. The gun. Down.” Dark knew if he didn't play his cards right, that gun could easily be turned on him. Thankfully Wilford lowered it, though he was no less upset.
“Bring him back Dark! The joke’s over!” Wilford ran out of the room before Dark could respond. He needed to go after him before he caused anymore damage, but before he did…
“I can't bring him back.” He turns to Dr. Iplier. “But you can.”
“I’m a doctor not a necromancer!”
Dark rolled his neck. “I suppose I could ask Henrik…”
“I can practically feel the bad news radiating off that statement. Walter would be dead before you got a chance to begin. I'll do it. I don't know how we're going to preserve his memories though.”
“Leave it to me. I need you to focus on the physical body.” And with that, Dark followed Wilford out.
-poof!- Against all better judgement Wifif was back with another of Wilford's glitter bombs. " T h i n k f a s t ! " he yelled as he lobbed it at Dark.
-Not today! NOT TODAY! He’s been waiting for it. While he just see’s someone off he spots that pink mustache a mile away, quickly catching the bomb with his right hand and tossing it right back at Wifif for it to explode! HA!-
…… A valiant try, little Warfstache. but you will have to do better than that~
-Theres a faint trace of a smirk on his face before he returns to his desk a bit smug, a little head tip given either side to ease out his neck before he’s back to work -
-poof!- -has a giant chocolate cake that he hands to Dark- T r u c e ?
……….I guess this is a decent enough peace offering. That and if I still want Wilford to do what needs doing I have to be nicer to you anyway…-Dark sneers but accepts the cake setting it on his desk neatly tucked aside, He’ll have a slice later and maybe he can bribe Anti to leave his electronics alone if he gives him a slice too….-Now then… I’m glad you popped in, Wifif. Your brother wanted me to give you this-He digs in his desk drawer, handing over a small brightly wrapped and COVERED in pink glitter parcel, however the color isn’t exactly seeable right now in his monochrome aura, only when Wifif takes it out of that aura will he see how…obnoxiously colorful it is…-
Wifif gasps at the glitter and colours, then sets to work tearing at the paper.
“ O o o h I w o n d e r w h a t i t i s ! W i l ’ s a l w a y s g e t t i n g m e s t u f f … I r e a l l y s h o u l d r e t u r n t h e f a v o u r . ” At this point the present is unwrapped.
-As the gift opens, naturally it bursts pink glitter…EVERYWHERE! All over Dark’s Study room, and inside is a little teeny tiny egg all bundled up warm. New animal friend! But what is it!?-
…….
He knew you’d open it in here didnt he….
-Dark is not best pleased at all. Not. At. All. Pink was never his color, he had completely repressed the pink hair.-
….out….
And take your…whatever it was with you….
Inbox is closed until I clear up this ungodly mess….
Once home, he put the box in his room and made a little makeshift nest for the lil eggy. What could it be? So many possibilities, how exciting!
When it was all said and done, only then did Wifif completely lose himself in a giggle fit. He would thank Wilford for the present and congratulate him on the successful prank later!
-poof!- -has a giant chocolate cake that he hands to Dark- T r u c e ?
……….I guess this is a decent enough peace offering. That and if I still want Wilford to do what needs doing I have to be nicer to you anyway…-Dark sneers but accepts the cake setting it on his desk neatly tucked aside, He’ll have a slice later and maybe he can bribe Anti to leave his electronics alone if he gives him a slice too….-Now then… I’m glad you popped in, Wifif. Your brother wanted me to give you this-He digs in his desk drawer, handing over a small brightly wrapped and COVERED in pink glitter parcel, however the color isn’t exactly seeable right now in his monochrome aura, only when Wifif takes it out of that aura will he see how…obnoxiously colorful it is…-
Wifif gasps at the glitter and colours, then sets to work tearing at the paper.
" O o o h I w o n d e r w h a t i t i s ! W i l ' s a l w a y s g e t t i n g m e s t u f f . . . I r e a l l y s h o u l d r e t u r n t h e f a v o u r . " At this point the present is unwrapped.
-poof!- H e l l o ! Y o u s t i l l m a d a t m e D a r k ?
Still mad at you, little Warfstache? Mad at you?Perhaps you’re referring to throwing an entire bomb of GLITTER into my world!?Or the time you threw a squeaking marshmallow at me?Y E S I M S T I L L M A D A T Y O U !
Not at all, Wifif. I can appreciate a prank, believe it or not. I fall victim to your older brothers idea of pranks quite often, but I have learned to predict them now… you on the other hand I have yet to sit down and talk to properly. We should fix this. It is… rude of me not to properly know every one of Mark’s Alters now isnt it.Yes by all means step into my office some time and we shall chat
W H I L E I C O M P L E T E L Y O B L I T E R A T E Y O U ! !
It’ll be nice to spend some time together and get to know one another…
This was also written by @cerevire. Have a cute little bedtime story from Wilford~
Wilford tucks his little brother in and settles on the edge of the bed. As far as he knows, Wifif never really met their parents, but then neither did Wilford. Being an interdimensional murderous being of pink fury tended to have tragic backstories...and possible wars... And after what happened to Walter? Well.. Wilford's making the extra effort to give Wifif a little bit of some childhood still... With a little dramatic clearing of his throat, one leg crossing the other to sit rightly for story telling and such, he makes sure his little brother, if only by a few minutes, is comfy before he begins with a flourish of course"
Ahwoooonce upon a tYYimmee there lived three hAPPy lil maaarrshmalloOOoows! Oh so kyoot! loookit em!" Being an interdimensional being also meant you could make perfect imagery with your twin by just... casting them both into that little world, letting the three mallows dance around on the bed.
"Their naaymes were SchmooOOre, Fluff and Squish and they were the haaappiest lil maaloows! oh so kyooot!" he chuckled watching them bounce around, they came up to say hi to Wifif before bouncing off.
"Lil scamps! They got into AWWWlll kinds of mischief! And one day Fluff was feelin awwl sadd.. oh..oh look hes sad look" he pointed to the pouty little mallow all by itself now. "Fluff was so haaappy to be with his bruhdur and siiister but it had awwwllways just been the three of them, he wanted some friieeends! But it was just them!" >>
The other two mallows rolled over to the sad one and nudged it gently all concerned. "Schmore and Squish were concern and they felt it too, they wanted friends as well! So the lil malllooows agreed to go of and search for some friends! On their JOOUurnney they came across an angry birdie! The birdie wanted to eat the lil mallows! But they managed to escaaaape! And they found themselves near a larrrrrggeee house made of ginderbreAAAdd! ooooh looks yummy!" he hopped up to go over to it and grabbed a chunk of the house with icing on it and came back over breaking it up to offer Wifif a piece of gingerbread house while eating the other half himself, Wifif got the bigger half of course!
"The lil mallows all went insiiide! A place so sweet like theym!? Maybe they would find others! Once inside they saw a mean ole nasty skanky witch! but she paid no mind to them! It was the greedy fatty kiddies that tried to eat them!" he watched as the little mallows rolled around trying to escape "oh noooo! runn!" he chuckled watching them hop into a pot of green goopy stuff. "Having escaped the lil mallows all climbed out but now they were soaked in a strange smeeeelly stuff, but it didnt seem to doOOo them any haaarrrm! They carried on their way and finally spotted what they were Loookin for! " a whole bag of cute little mallows! They hurried over. "the lil mallooOows all jumped into the bag and joined their new friends! But this was a MAAAgic bag! They would never run out of friends here! oh so maaaannny! Never eeending! A special bag! " he watched as the kids spotted the bag "oh nooo! The kids begaaan to eat all the mallow friends! But after being in a bottle o poiisson the little fat brats dropped deadsies!" he chuckled as they fell>>
to the floor. "with the little brats dead the Witch saw potential in the little mallows and took the bag to do great things! Magic malloows for everyooonee!" he chuckled as the witch magicked the bag away...and into Wififs hands... "with great power comes great responsibility Wiffy!" the scene dissolved around them. Far be it from a Warfstache to end a cute story in dead people... He killed the witch for good measure too BANG ...naturally...
"Be careful with those lil bruhdur!" he held up too one had a slightly greener tinge "some are strawwwnger than others" he smirked. some poisoned others fine. If Wifif ever needed to get rid of someone...well.. there was his weapon. A never ending bag of marshmallows where only he knew which ones were poisoned. "Rest well lil bruhdur" a peck on the head, tucked him in again and he headed out with a waggle of his warfstache. /e
This was written by @cerevire, who plays the Wilford Warfstache <strike>along with about 40 other characters lolol</strike> to my Wifif. It’s the origin story of how lil Wiffleball found himself in DSG, and was inspired by the war theory that cropped up recently. https://quinn-and-kin.tumblr.com/post/164916243811/random-unprompted-wilford-warfstache-theory-i-had
Needless to say, violent.
16,473.... Not that he had been counting, why the fuck would he be counting!? This was horrific, blood everywhere, some of it his own some of it his brothers. There was a bounty on his head and a bullet in his shoulder and he was pretty sure there was a body on the floor right next to them but at this point it was unimportant, another fallen soldier in this war machine. The only thing he cared about right now was getting his brother to safety. He held his gun in hand, a gun which surprisingly never ran out of bullets and always seemed to have the right bullets for the job. Silver, Gold, copper, lead, didnt matter so long as he shot it and it did its job.
They were hunkered down behind a crashed flying saucer, it was still smoking and likely to explode but iit gave them cover for the moment.
16,474.... His brother screamed at the noise so close and he quickly whirled around to put an arm around him "shhh shhh its ok its ok... I'll get you out of here, I promise... We're almost there"
Almost to the only clock left in this horrible place. Almost all of them had been smashed and destroyed to prevent Wilford Warfstache from escaping this realm. To prevent the catastrophic murder machine from entering any other realms this war went on in. There was one clock left, their last hope of escape, if they could reach the clock dimension then he could get Wifif to safety! "shhh its ok little brother, Wilford's here" he smiled holding his brothers face, but they were both covered in blood and burns and cuts and bruises.... He heard the whistle of another bomb, no telling what kind it could be, he quickly grabbed Wifif's head and pulled him down, ignoring the scream of panic and terror from his sibling.>>
The bomb exploded but it flooded the area with gas, bright pink gas and not the friendly Warfstache kind of pink! He grabbed his jacket pulling it off and put it up to Wifif's face to cover him and grabbed him to run again, it put them in the open but he didnt care, they were almost there and that ship was about to explode anyway!
16,475...16,476...16,477... He was shot again in the back, blood pooling at his shirt in a circle but he ignored it as best he could. Had to save Wiffif... Had to get him to safety!
There it was!... He hurried towards the little house, pulling him along "look there it is! we're there! We're safe! We'r--" BOOM
He was on the floor before he knew what had happened and Wifif was no longer at his side. He scrambled back to his feet immediately, searching around. Wifif was on the ground screaming again. He hurried over to see the damage but he would be fine, yes yes he'd be fine, nothing but, few cuts n bruises.. Wifif was fine... He got him to hunker down again glancing over to see what had caused them to go rocketing back like that. A golem? A machine? He wasn't sure what it was...but it was in the way...
BANG!....BANG!! .... nothing... great... gun was useless... >>
He patted Wifif's shoulder gave him a smile and headed out to face the monster blocking their only exit out of here. He didn't put his gun away however... 16,478...16,479....
"Move out of the way..." He gave one warning. It wasn't taken.... so be it. He tugged on his bracers and wandered over to face the golem made of metal and stone and when it charged for him, he quickly rolled away, searching the golem over intently, had to be a weak spot somewhere? ... usually inside.. fuck. "Yer a biggun... not big enough for old Warfstache though" he smirked and ran up onto its back while it was turned, riding it around like a rodeo until it crashed into the house they were aiming for. HA! got em!
He hopped down all smug "Cmon Wifif, we're almost the-GRUUGFF!" CRRRACCK ......
Excruciating pain... blood... lost a tooth he was sure. He coughed and spluttered and growled in pain reaching up to his jaw... completely smacked over to the left..great.. dislocated it..son of a bitch
"noww thash jush uncall' fer..." blood rushed down his chin but he didnt care, he'd brace that pain, had to get his little brother to safety! They'd lost everything else.. if he lost Wifif too.... >>
He braced for the golem again but this time slid underneath it and then rushed off around the house doing a lap of it, confused the golem until he came back around with a smirk, or as much of a smirk as one could have with a dislocated jaw. The golem rushed at him and he pulled his arms up, a brief flicker of lights in the air glinted before the golem came crashing to the floor. Fishing line could be great sometimes... He hurried over to finishing binding it down before he went back to Wifif. "Cmon lil bruhdur..we gootaa mooove" his voice slurred and was awkward and full of blood but he took Wifif's hand and hurried inside. There it was.. the last clock... He wasted no time in opening the portal and shoving Wifif inside, but as he did there was another whistle of a bomb.
It exploded right on top of him.. The clock shattering... And Wilford was trapped in the realm....
It didn't matter.... It really didn't..Wifif was safe now.. He didn't know where the clock dimension would take him but he hoped it would be somewhere safe... There was just one last thing to do...
He reached into his pocket and pulled up a tiny marshmallow... Schmore... He smiled, kissed its head "youu know wha' t' doo.." and it did, it whirled up into pretty little stars and vanished, appearing back in the mallow bag in Wifif's pocket, and proceeded to hop out, while the younger twin was hurtling through the clock dimension>>
A few stars and a cute little sneeze on him and.... there it went.. the war... Walter... their parents... all the dead bodies and the bloodshed the tears and even the golem.. Gone.... gone for good he would hope too.
Wifif would land in the middle of nowhere, no memories of how he got there, no memories of war or death or bloodshed. Only memories of his twin brother Wilford who was currently at an interview show, and a bag of never ending marshmallows.. still.. the people in this new realm seemed nice.. they'd look after him surely...
With his memories, went any trace of existence. Any interviews, shows, any trace of him ever having existed were wiped from every universe and every world. Wifif....no longer existed. A ghost of sorts... Not even Mark would remember him. Only ever been Wilford..and Walter, he couldnt bring it in him to remove Walter but... he didn't need to worry about the youngest Warfstache being harmed... he was already gone.....
Wifif was safe now..that's all that mattered... Safe where no one would find him.
"allriight you sonns o' bishes... ole Warfys had juss abou' enough o you" he spat blood to the side and glanced to the clock.. broken.. shit. Didn't matter...
16,480.. 16,481... 16,482-83-84-85......
He rushed out, with a limp from the explosion, and headed for the clock tower, sure it was destroyed and broken but it would give him a good vantage point at least... after all he was gonna be here a while.
"HALT RIGHT THERE WARFSTACHE!" BANG
16,486...
"I'm shoorry...we're you talkin' t' mee? whoopsh..." he hurried along again and didn't stop until he reached safety for the time being. All he could hear was growls of monsters, explosions, gunfire, laser fire everything.. past and future and present and everything in between, ladies, gentlemen, all configurations of being in a mashed up fuckfest of a war... >>
Something snagged his throat from behind! He struggled for breath for a moment before-
16,487... Stupid fuckin wraiths... No one was truly safe in this realm... not right now...
He pulled a pocket watch from his pants pocket flipping it open, broken, but the picture of him and Wifif was still there, a little bloodstained but there.... "I'm shorry Wiffy.... I'll shee you again shoon... shomeday..." he quickly pocketed it when he heard another telltale whistle of a falling bomb. This one exploded... It rocketed him right out of the tower and back to ground level surrounded in rubble...and next to a friend.
"wil..wilford?... wilford... "
"hm? ah" he hurried over, as best he could, how was he not missing any limbs like this guy, really, he'd been blown up three times now.
"Wil-... pleas... k-kill me...end me... please.."
"I..I cant do tha' .. I've killed..enough already.."
"..please..jus..jus do it.. im right here..do it..ki-kill me..ki-"
16,488.......
He felt sick for a moment but it passed quickly. He stared down at his fallen friend before glancing around at the sound of several guns clicking.
"Gotcha you pink son of a bitch" The ones who'd started this stupid fucking war.... Bastards...
He turned slowly, a murderous look in his eyes. He'd lost everything... so what was there to lose now?
16,488?
16,501....
They all stood shocked for a moment before their heads slid off and their bodies toppled to the ground, a flicker of lights caught the string hanging there. Wilford was smarter than to leave himself exposed...
Itwas gonna be a long war.... >>
Of course he escaped.... Of course he did.. how? He had no reason to tell the story, especially not around Wifif! And oh how damned fucking happy he was to find him again! Safe and sound, no memories of war, didn't even ask questions about the wonky jaw and the speech impediment, didn't ask where he'd been all this time just happily accepted that his brother was there as if he'd just come back from the interview.... good.... it could stay that way... he never wanted to hear Wiffy scream like that again...
He wasn't the same man, but Wifif seemed fine with that... He had an itchy trigger finger and a complete nonchalance for death, disregard for safety and everything else.... the clock dimension worked wonders.. it could bend time. He'd been gone for DECADES after Wifif escaped and yet... he came back like it was just yesterday...
They'd lost so much but... they had each other again, no one would find Wifif as long as he didn't get popular again, oh everyone had loved the twins show! Now it was just Wilford's show.... and that was fine... so long as it kept him safe. .....thats all that mattered.... /e
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