Be kind to unkind people, they need it the most.

Lesbian. Age 24.

[wildhoney32]

MASTERLIST

Updated 2/27/2021

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Home in Your Arms

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Inexperienced

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Patience is a Virtue

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

Starting Over

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

One Shots

More than Good Enough

Moving On

[wildhoney32]

Starting Over: Chapter 5

Warnings: None

Reader

As you walk towards your room you look up to see Natasha walking down the hall to her room.  You have never seen her in her mission uniform before and you can’t help but stare.  She looks beautiful but deadly while wearing the skintight, black suit.

 “Hey Y/N, that was incredible!”  Natasha exclaims as you walk towards each other.

 “What do you mean?”

 “Your powers.  It was incredible.”

 You suddenly feel your face heating up as you shyly ask, “You saw that?”

 “Yeah, everyone on the team saw it.”

 You immediately become uncomfortable before you feel a light touch on your forearm.  “Don’t worry Y/N, I stand by what I told you in the beginning. There will be no pressure for you to join the team or anything other than what you decide to do.  We are just happy to see you are comfortable using them again.”  Natasha pauses for a moment before continuing, “How did it feel to truly use your powers again.”

 You can’t help the smile that covers your face at the memory of using your powers.  “Honestly, it felt incredible.”

You see Natasha looking at your smile as she begins to smile herself.  “I am so glad Y/N.  It is so good to finally see you happy.”

 “Thanks, Tasha.”  You pause when you see her eyes widen slightly, “I mean Natasha.  Sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep.”

 You see a light blush on her face, “You didn’t.  It’s just no one has ever called me Tasha before.  I like it,” she says with a smile.

 “Okay.  I’m glad.  Well I am going to lay down for a bit.  Using my powers felt great but I think I overexerted myself a bit.”

 “Alright Y/N, enjoy your nap.”

 “Thanks. Oh, Tasha, I like your uniform. It’s a mix between badass and sexy.”  You don’t say anything else as you step into your room and close the door gently.  If you would have stayed in the hallway you would have seen Natasha’s face turn bright red and her body froze in place.  She quickly shakes her head before going into her own room.

 As you hear her door close, you release the breath you had been holding since you closed your door. Holy crap!  Did I just flirt with Natasha!

  ++++++++

 The morning after using your powers you walk into the kitchen and see Natasha standing by the coffee machine in workout clothes and Steve at the table eating breakfast.  You make eye contact with Natasha and find yourself shyly smiling.  

 Before you have a chance to say anything Steve jumps up from the table and starts to walk towards you. “Good Morning Y/N, I was hoping I could talk to you about yesterday.  It was incredible to watch what you were doing and I wanted to ask you about your training.  Do you have any formal training?  Have you ever considered using your powers openly?  I could talk—” as Steve was speaking you feel a sudden rush of dizziness to your head and can’t pay attention.

 Natasha must see you struggling and immediately jumps in, “Steve, don’t overwhelm Y/N.  She just used her powers for the first time in a long time. I get you are excited but lay off.”  

 Steve looks at Natasha and then looks back to you.  He didn’t realize he was overwhelming you.  “I am so sorry, Y/N.  I got overly excited.  Take your time on everything, I didn’t mean to make you feel pressured.”

 You take a few deep breathes and re-center yourself. “That’s okay Steve.  I appreciate the interest, but I still have a lot to work through before I ever considering anything more than practice.”

 “I completely understand.” With that, Steve walks back to the table to finish his breakfast.

 You walk over to join Natasha by the coffee pot. “Any left for me?”

 “Looks like there is enough for one more cup.  We can always make more if needed.  But I was wondering, and please tell me if I am pushing, but want to go into town and get coffee?  You haven’t been out of the compound since arriving and I wanted to see if you would like to get out?”

 You think about Natasha’s offer for a few seconds before responding, “Sure, that sounds good.  I need to get myself back into the world.”

 Natasha gives you an encouraging smile, “That sounds great Y/N.  I just need to go shower and change really quick.  Want to head out in about 30 minutes?”  

 Both of you start to walk back towards your rooms when you say, “Sounds good.  Just knock on my door when you are ready.”

 “Okay see you soon,” Natasha says as she walks into her room giving you a smile.

 You quickly change and put on a bit of makeup.  You have to remind yourself this isn’t a date and decide to go with a loose three-quarter sleeve black shirt, skinny jeans and Chuck Taylors.  There is no way Natasha Romanoff would what to date you. You are a total disaster. She has been helping as a friend, nothing else, don’t get excited. Even before you were taken, you rarely dated and had horrible taste in women.  Out of the two women you had somewhat serious relationships with, one cheated on you and one said she didn’t care about you as much as you cared about her.

 After that, you pretty much stopped dating.  As you are lost in thought you hear knocking.  You quickly move towards the door and open it up to see Natasha standing there in tight black jeans, and a loose white shirt. God, how can she make something so simple look so amazing. While you never really struggled with confidence, you would never classify yourself as overly confident. Standing in front of Natasha you can’t help but feel self-conscious.  She is beautiful, I could never compare. You can’t help but wonder Natasha is thinking of you.

 Natasha

 Hot damn. How is Y/N able to make a black shirt and jeans look so incredible?!  She is gorgeous.

 Reader

Shaking away your thoughts you smile at Natasha and close your door as you walk out.  You pass Wanda in the common room and ask, “Wanda, Tasha and I are going to head into town and get some coffee, would you like to join?”

 Wanda looks at both of you before looking at Natasha a second too long.  You can’t see Natasha’s face but you see Wanda smirk before replying, “Unfortunately I have some mission prep to do.  But you and Tasha have a good time in town.  I am glad to see you getting out Y/N.”

 “Thanks Wanda. Depending on how today goes, would you maybe want to grab lunch in town when you get back from your mission?”  

 “Yeah, that sounds great!”

 You and Natasha walk into the garage when she suddenly asks, “what did you mean by ‘depending on how today goes’?”

 You look at her shyly and say, “I only meant that if it isn’t too much for me to be back in the world right now.  It was nothing against you Tasha.  It has just been so long since I have been around a lot of people that I find myself getting nervous.”

 “Well if you find yourself getting nervous just grab my hand to ground yourself.  If that doesn’t work, then feel free to just drag me out of the coffee shop.  I will be with you every step of the way.”

 “Thanks, Tasha.”

 As you pull up to the coffee shop it doesn’t seem overly busy and is only half full.  You find yourself breathing a sigh of relief.  Natasha looks over at you before saying, “Remember what I said.  You want to leave, we leave.  You are in charge of how long we stay.”

 “Okay.  It isn’t too busy, so that is good.”

 When you walk in you are immediately hit with the smell of espresso.  You remember that smell and are taken back to the days of sitting in a coffee shop near your apartment, on a Sunday afternoon, enjoying a book. Coffee shops always brought you comfort. They never got too loud and the smell always felt welcoming.

 There are a few people in line so you take your time looking over the menu.  Natasha stands close by at your side.  As you are looking at the menu the door suddenly swings open.  A group of women enter laughing loudly.  

 Before you realize what you are doing, you grab Natasha’s hand and squeeze a little.  You keep your eyes on the menu but you can feel Natasha looking at you from the corner of your eye.  She whispers in your ear, “Y/N, it’s okay. You’re safe.  I won’t let anything happen to you.  Do you want to stay or leave?”

 You take a few deep breathes and let Natasha’s words wash over you.  Turning your head, you look in her eyes and a say, “Stay.  I know I am safe with you.”

 You see a large smile appear on Natasha’s face as she simply nods and looks forward.  Natasha doesn’t let go of your hand and you don’t let go of hers.  It is comforting holding her hand.  It is amazing how something as simple as holding a hand can bring the feeling of safety.

 Once you have both ordered, Natasha finds a table in the corner, away from the main area.  You are both quiet as you take your first sips of coffee.  Natasha breaks the silence by saying, “I am sorry about Steve this morning.  He gets excited when he sees what people can do and is so determined to help society that he doesn’t stop to think that not everyone is as gung-ho as he is.”

 “It’s okay.  It just took me by surprise a bit.  Honestly, I don’t know if I am ready to do what he wants. Of course I want to help people, but I am not trained like all of you.  I spent my whole life hiding my powers from the world.  I am not hero material.”

 “Y/N, I can promise you, you are hero material.  If this is what you want to do, then I will personally train you to help you prepare. We would never just throw you on a mission without proper training.  I can train you in hand to hand combat and the team and myself can help you to hone your powers.  I have seen how you have fought to recover from HYDRA.  Not many people can endure what you went through and not only survive but improve as quickly as you have.  You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

 You listen intently to Natasha.  After a few minutes of thinking you look at her and say, “I don’t think I am ready to give an answer yet, but would you be willing to teach me some moves anyway?  I have seen what you can do and it is incredible. I don’t want to pass up the opportunity to learn from the best.”

 Natasha chuckles before responding, “I would be more than happy to show you.  And make sure to let Clint hear you say I am the best next time we are all together.”

 You laugh at her as you move on to different topics.  You lose track of time as you talk about your life before being taken. Natasha seems genuinely interested and you find it is therapeutic to talk about it.  She doesn’t go into details about her life but from what she does tell you it sounded awful.  A young girl being taken against her will and being trained to become an assassin.  The fact that she is sitting in front of you now as an Avenger is incredible.  You can’t help that your feelings for her grow.  

 It is early afternoon by the time you decide to leave and head back to the compound.  Natasha looks disappointed as she tells you she has some meetings she needs to get back for.  You feel disappointed yourself when you realize your time with her is over for now.

 Once you arrive back at the compound, you walk into the common room and see Wanda eating lunch. Before walking over to say hi, you turn to Natasha and gently hold her forearm.  “Tasha, I can’t thank you enough for today.  It was so nice to get out again.  Thank you for being there for me and taking the time to talk.”

 “Anytime Y/N, I would be more than happy to do it again whenever you would like.  Let me know when you are ready to start training a little bit.”

 “I definitely will, thank you.  Have fun at your meetings.  I will see you later Tasha.”

 “Bye, Y/N.”

 You can’t help but watch Natasha for a moment as she walks out of the room.  When you turn around you see Wanda already looking at you with a smile on her face.  You may not know her too well yet, but you know that smile when you see it.

 “What?”

 “Don’t ‘what’ me Y/N. How was your lunch date with Natasha?”

 “It wasn’t a lunch date. She was just helping me get back into the world.”

 “Oh trust me, the way she looked at me when you asked if I wanted to join you two, she very clearly wanted it to just be you two.”  You are speechless for a minute before you regain your composure.  “Wanda, you are mistaken.  There is no way Tasha is interested in me.  I have way too much baggage.  She is just being a friend, unlike you,” you tease back hoping to change the subject.

 “Whatever you say Y/N. Whatever you say.”

_____

@trikruismybitch

[wildhoney32]

Starting Over: Chapter Four

Warnings:  Mentions of torture at the start, fluff by the end :)

Reader

 “Please stop, I can’t take anymore!!!!  I don’t know what you want from me!  I am no one special, please let me go!!!!!”

 You can feel the pain of the serum they had just pumped into your blood stream.  The man looks at you with venom in his eyes as he sneers, “It won’t get any better until you give us what we want!”  He ends by slapping you hard across the face before leaving the room.

 You continue to fight against your restraints in the chair as the serum continues to burn. You feel tears continue to run down your cheeks –  Y/N wake up – as the pain feels – Y/N it is just a dream, please wake up! – endless.

 You suddenly jerk awake and move away from the person sitting on your bed.  It takes you a moment to calm your breathing and see it is Natasha who woke you, sitting on the bed illuminated by the bedside lamp.  She is worriedly looking at you as she calmly says, “Y/N, you are safe, you were just having a nightmare.  FRIDAY woke me up when she couldn’t wake you.”

 The room is silent for what feels like minutes.  You can tell Natasha wants to reach out and touch you, but you can also see she is holding herself back.

 You have been living in your own room for a month and are woken up almost nightly by memories. This is the first time Natasha, or anyone, has come to wake you from them.  You are normally able to breath passed it once you are awake and then wander around the compound while everyone else is sleeping.

 Lowering your head and running your hand through your hair you mumble, “It wasn’t a nightmare, it was a memory.”

 It is quiet enough that Natasha can hear what you say and she lowers her head.  After a few moments she asks, “Can I sit next to you?”

 You nod your head without saying anything and you feel the bed move as she sits next to you.  Only leaving enough room to barely not touch you. She doesn’t say anything and you appreciate it.  You aren’t in the mood to talk.

 As you try to calm down you can’t fight the sob that is moving its way up your chest.  Waking up every night from these memories is starting to take a toll on your body.  You are exhausted and it is so hard to keep fighting to get better.

 Before you can stop it, your chest feels like it bursts open as the first sob breaks passed your lips.  Followed by another and another.  You are soon sobbing with your knees to your chest and your head against your knees.  “I just want to forget what happened but every time I close my eyes I see their faces and I feel the pain of what they did to me!”  You don’t try to stop the snot running out of your nose or the spit coming out of your mouth.  You feel like you are losing all control of your body.

 Natasha gently places her hand on your upper back to let you know she is there.  Within a second you cling to her.  You wrap your arms around her upper body as your head falls to her chest and you are almost laying on her.  Your weight sags into her as you continue to sob and mumble to “please, make it stop” repeatedly.  You feel Natasha wrap her arms around your back and firmly hold onto you.

 You hear Natasha telling you it is going to be okay and she is there for you.  She tells you she won’t leave and will help you through it. Even though you can barely hear her over your own sobs you somehow take in the words she is saying.  What surprises you even more is that you find yourself believing her words and you cling to her even more.

 Once you start to calm down you whisper, “can you please stay?  I don’t want to be alone right now.”

 “Of course, I will stay, Y/N.  I will stay for as long as you want.  You don’t have to face this alone.”  You feel Natasha gently move from a sitting position to laying down without you having to move.  You don’t even open your eyes as you hear her turn off the bedside lamp.  Laying in her arms is warm and comforting.  They are feelings you haven’t felt in so long and you find yourself able to relax.  Your ear is pressed to her chest and you can hear the quiet thump of her heartbeat.  Right before you drift off to sleep you scoot yourself just a little closer to Natasha and wrap your arm tighter around her waste to make sure she doesn’t leave.

 Natasha

 Natasha was so worried when FRIDAY woke her up and said she couldn’t wake you.  She became even more concerned when FRIDAY said she is normally able to wake you up but tonight was especially bad.  How long have you been having these nightmares?  She has seen the dark circles remain under your eyes, but you still didn’t show much emotion so she couldn’t tell what was wrong.  

 Seeing you thrashing around in your bed, and being unable to wake you up, broke her heart.  When you finally woke up, seeing how scared you were hurt her even more.  She was so glad you reached for her.  She wanted to hold you so bad when you were crying but she knew you needed to make the first move.

 She looks down at you laying on her chest and can see the steady rise and fall of your body.  Even in the dark of your room she can see the drastic changes from when you first arrived.  You are finally back to a healthy weight. Your skin has its beautiful hue back and your hair is soft and shiny.  She looks at you as she gently runs her hand through your hair and knows you are one of the most beautiful women she has ever seen.  You have your physical health back.  Now she wants to walk by your side as your mental and emotional health starts to recover.

 She can see the constant struggle you have with yourself as you internally fight to show emotion and trust the team.  Natasha has watched as you have slowly started to interact with the team. Mainly sitting back and watching, but she can see you trying not to smile or laugh when you hear something funny.  She can see your shell fighting to stay intact as your emotions fight to break free.

 As Natasha holds onto you tight she decides she wants to be there the moment that shell breaks.  She can’t wait to see your gorgeous smile and hear your laugh.  She has only known you for a short time but she already knows she wants to discover everything about you.  She knows there are going to be more downs than ups for a long time.  She wants to walk through every valley with you because it will be that much sweeter when she sees you able to climb your way out of them.  Natasha knows it will be a wonderful day when you fight past your demons and conquer your past.  She will do everything in her power to be there the moment you do.

 Until then, she is perfectly fine holding you in her arms as you continue to battle your memories.  At this moment, she realizes there is nowhere else she would rather be.  As she slowly starts to drift off to sleep, she can’t stop herself from leaning her head down and kissing the top of your head.

 Reader

 Natasha had been staying in your room on and off for the passed month to help you sleep.  The only time she didn’t sleep in your bed was when you were struggling with your emotions and didn’t want company or she was off on a mission.  When you told her you wanted to be alone, she never seemed to be offended and just grabbed your hand and squeezed it before telling you she understood and to find her when you were ready.

 You don’t know when the change happened, but you felt yourself wanting to be around her as much as possible.  You wanted to be around Wanda as well, but you felt different when you were with her than when you were with Natasha.

 Wanda made you feel welcomed and lighter, Natasha made you feel safe.

 A few days ago, Tony approached you and without pressuring you made a comment that if you ever wanted to “dust off the cobwebs on your powers” you were free to use the back field. He mentioned there is a small stream running about halfway through the field and with all that room he thought you could have some fun.

 You woke up this morning feeling rested.  Not as rested as when Natasha is with you, but you have been getting more sleep over the last few weeks and feel like you have more energy.  The dark circles under your eyes are gone and when you look in the mirror you see the reflection you remember.

 After leaving your room you head to what you have learned is the common room kitchen and make a small breakfast.  Everyone on the team is either on a mission, training, or down in the labs.  As you sit eating your breakfast you look out the window and see the sun shining and not a cloud in the sky.  Your mind goes back to what Tony said the other day and think about going outside.  There is also no one out on the field.  You take a deep breath then exhale as you decide to give it a try.  You haven’t used your powers since lifting the rocks with Wanda and Natasha and you would rather try something bigger when no one is around in case you fail.

 As you walk outside you feel a slight breeze that helps to make the day more welcoming.  You walk a few couple hundred meters away from the building before stopping about 50 feet in front of the stream.  

 You decide to start small. You have never been able to create the elements, but you have learned to manipulate them.  You mentally draw a circle around yourself on the ground about five feet in diameter.  The earth in the circle raises out of the ground about ten feet so you are now on higher ground.  

 Taking a deep breath, you close your eyes and focus on feeling the ground around you.  Without opening your eyes you feel the wind getting stronger and swirling in a circle.  As the wind picks up the smalls rocks and dust on the ground start to get lifted as well.  You focus on getting the wind in a tighter circle and create a tornado of dust and rocks. Not strong enough to do any damage but enough to see it move across the ground.  

 Once the tornado is only about ten feet wide, you lift your arms and start to move it across the field in a random pattern.  You forgot how good it feels to use your powers again.  You have had to hide them away for so long that it feels like a weight is being lifted off you.  

 Hiking into nature and secretly practicing your powers was always therapeutic.  Using your powers just makes you feel happy.  As you lower your arms and the tornado fades away, you find yourself really smiling for the first time in years.  

 Wanda has made you almost smile a few times with her sense of humor, but you have stayed guarded. You feel yourself let that guard down as you stand in the field.  Just you and your powers.

 Next, you decide to play with the water.  It isn’t a big stream, so you find yourself just creating waves.  You then decide to stop the water at a certain spot and watch as it moves upward as if going vertically up an invisible barrier.  After the wall gets about 20 feet high, you release it and watch as water tumbles back to earth and rushes downstream.

 You are giddy.  You feel like you did when you were a little kid first discovering your powers and practicing with your parents.  Everything feels new again.  After taking a break and relaxing your body you decide to try to manipulate the earth.  Even before you were taken, manipulating the ground had always been a challenge.  It takes a lot more concentration and energy to move large amounts.

 You close your eyes again to re-center yourself.  There is no noise and you focus.  You open your eyes and look at the expanse in front of you.  You raise your right hand in front of you waste high.  With your palm turned up you focus and begin to move your hand upwards.  As you do so, you see a pillar of earth rise out of the ground and up towards the sky. It is about 15 feet wide and you keep moving it until it is about 75 feet high.  Then you raise your left hand and do the same thing until you have two pillars, the same height, rising high in the field.

 Energy is quickly leaving your body so you relax and look at what you have done.  You decide to try something.  You lift your hands up to shoulder height in front of you and with a quick movement bring both of your arms towards each other. As you do so, the pillars fall towards the center and collide with each other causing them to crumble before hitting the ground.  With the large mound of dirt now on the ground you work to lift the dirt creating a large wall.  You then push the dirt forward and it begins to move across the ground.  Once it stops you bring your hands back to your chest with your palms facing towards the wall.

 After taking a deep breath you use a burst of energy as you push your hands out and see the wall moving rapidly across the ground away from you.  Once you release your energy, the wall crumbles back to earth at the edge of the field.  

 A smile is covering your face as you look at the field.  What was once a beautiful field covered in grass is now a torn-up field covered in dirt with two massive holes in it.  After taking a few minutes to breath you once again move the air faster and start to collect all the dirt that is has been moved.  You slowly work to fill in the holes you created.

 The field is still pretty torn up but at least the holes are gone.  Deciding that is enough for one day you move to the edge of the column of earth you are on and face the center.  You smile as you fall backwards off the pillar and immediately create a breeze under you to turn you around and lift you upright before landing on your feet.  You smile at the memory of your mom always screaming at you for doing that trick and scaring her by thinking you were going to hit the ground.  You smile as you remember your dad always holding back a laugh while standing behind her.

 You walk back towards the building feeling exhausted but happy for the first time in along time. The smile doesn’t leave your face as you enter the building.  What you don’t notice, standing in the common room on the second floor, is the team watching. Wanda had walked into the room about 30 minutes before and immediately called everyone to watch.

 Natasha

 As the team was watching, Natasha walks into the room and sees everyone standing at the window and gasping at random moments.  She walks up to the window and sees what is happening.  The smile on her face can’t be controlled as she sees you using your powers.  She is mesmerized.  Unlike the team who is watching your powers, she is watching you.  Even from a distance she can see you much more relaxed as you take breaks in between movements.

 When you finally turn around and walk back in, she sees the smile on your face and her breath catches in her throat.  She knew your smile was going to be beautiful, but she has no idea it was going to be that incredible.  It catches her off guard.

 As she watches you, she feels someone watching her.  She turns her head to see Wanda looking right at her with a smirk on her face. “I see you watching Y/N.  You have feelings for her don’t you?” Natasha hears Wanda say in her head. Natasha just rolls her eyes and thinks back “Mind your own business Wanda and stay out of my head!”  As Natasha is walking away her steps falter when Wanda responds “I wasn’t looking into your head but thank you for confirming my suspicions.” Without looking back Natasha keeps walking to her room to change.

+++++++++++++++

I struggled with this chapter a bit.  I went back and forth on how to convey the reader’s powers and create a vision as she is using them.  I hope I was able to accomplish that :/

@trikruismybitch

[wildhoney32]

Starting Over: Chapter Three

Warnings: None

Natasha

 Natasha is off the quinjet as soon as the doors open, and she plans to head straight to her room.  What should have been a three-day mission turned into a two week-long mission and she is ready to be home and have a real shower before going to see you.

 What she gets though is a frantic Wanda waiting for her as soon as she walks inside.

 “Natasha, thank God you are back!  I went to see Y/N this morning and her room is empty.  I asked Dr. Cho where Y/N went and she said Y/N was healthy enough to leave the medical facility with the promise of doing weekly check-ins.  Dr. Cho said as soon as Y/N was given a new pair of clothes, she walked out and she is not sure where is went.”  Wanda quickly tells Natasha barely breathing as she speaks.

 “Okay Wanda, take a deep breath.  What did Y/N say the last time you two spoke?”  Natasha calmly asks, even though she is internally freaking out like Wanda.

 “Um, well yesterday we started to talk about her parents and a little about her childhood.  She is still pretty closed off with me, but I could tell she is struggling with knowing they are gone.  I can tell she blames herself for what happened to them. When I left she said she was okay and just wanted to be alone.  She didn’t tell me she was leaving.”

 Natasha starts to think about all the places you could have gone.  “Wanda, I need you to stay here while I go and look for Y/N just in case she comes back.  She hasn’t been gone that long and I don’t expect she has gotten far.”

 She starts to think back through the files she has read about you from the mission and her own research on you and your family.  Before you were taken you lived in a small apartment in New York City and your parents lived in the house you grew up in a few hours north of the city. You wouldn’t have been able to go back to your apartment, it would have been rented to someone else by now.  That just leaves your parent’s house.

 Natasha quickly showers and changes out of her uniform before looking up the address to your parent’s house and driving there.  Their house is only about an hour from the Avenger’s facility and with how Natasha drives, she is able to arrive in 45 minutes.

 She parks a few houses down from the address and sees a for sale sign out front.  She sits in her car for a few minutes to see if anything suspicious happens. When nothing happens, she decides to walk around the back of the house.  

 As soon as she sees the backdoor, she notices one of the glass panes is broken and the door slightly ajar. Natasha quickly and quietly walks up to the door and realizes the house is completely empty.  Once she steps inside she doesn’t immediately hear anything. After a few seconds she hears the floor creek on the second floor.

 Natasha silently walks up the stairs and sees a shadow in one of the smaller rooms.  When Natasha reaches the doorway she sees you standing inside staring at the wall.

 “Y/N,” she speaks quietly.

 You don’t move to look at her as you say, “This was my childhood room.  It is nothing special, but it was happy here.  My dad and I used to sit on the floor with a pile of rocks or bowl of water in between us and he would push me to always try to control as much as I could at one time.  He was the one who really helped me to learn to control my powers and not let my emotions dictate them.”  Natasha assumes you are lost in a memory as you look at a spot on the floor.  “My parents never treated me like a freak. They encouraged me and loved me while always telling me to hide my powers.  Saying the world wasn’t ready for someone like me.”

 “They sound like lovely people, Y/N.”

 “When you helped protect New York from aliens, my dad called and was so excited there were people out there with special abilities like me protecting the world.  He always told me I could help people with my powers, but I never believed him.  I was just the shy girl who loved to read as a kid and went to school for publishing.”

 Natasha can see the faraway look in your eye as you remember.  “Y/N, if that is what you want, you can protect people with your powers. Your dad was right.”

 “How am I supposed to protect anyone when I couldn’t even protect the two most important people in my life!  My parents are dead because of me!” You snap at Natasha.

 Natasha is taken aback by your outburst because it is the most emotion you have shown her.  She looks in your eyes as she walks closer to you and grabs your hand, “Y/N, your parents aren’t dead because of you.  Your parents are dead because an evil organization killed them.  HYDRA is the cause of your parent’s death, not you.”

 She so badly wants her words to sink in and you not blame yourself for their death.  She just wants to hold you and protect you from your pain. Natasha has never felt like this with another person and it scares her.  She has never met someone she wants to protect so fiercely it scares he because she barely knows you.

 Natasha watches you as tears threaten to fall from your eyes.  When one does, she gently puts her hand on your cheek and wipes it away with her thumb.  She slowly steps closer and brings you into a hug.  You are about an inch taller than her and she feels you quickly tuck your head in between her shoulder and neck.  

 A few tears escape before she feels you start to shake.  Natasha wraps her arms around you tighter as she feels sobs start to break free. Natasha can’t help but have mixed emotions while she holds you.  She has been working to gain your trust and help you to show your emotions and she feels honored that you trust her enough to let her see you like this.  But her heart hurts knowing you are in such pain and there is nothing she can do to fix it.

 Neither of you know how long you stand there in the middle of your old room before you lift your head and look at Natasha.   You quietly thank her while you wipe the rest of your tears away.

 “What am I supposed to do now?”

 “What do you mean, Y/N?”

 “I have no where to go and no family left.  I don’t know where to even go to start over.”  

 Natasha can see the fear in your eyes as you think about your next steps.

 “Why don’t you come back home with me?  There are plenty of rooms and you have the team.  Y/N, you are not alone.  Wanda was worried sick when she went to visit you this morning and you were gone.”

 “Natasha, you don’t have to do that.  You have already done enough by saving me from HYDRA and letting me stay in your hospital for all this time.  I can’t ask you to do more.”

 “You aren’t asking me to do more.  I am offering.  We care about you and we want you to stay for as long as you want.  Dr. Cho wants to keep checking in with you to make sure you are healthy and if you want you will have plenty of room to use your powers freely if you so choose.  No one is going to force you to do anything, but please stay with us until you decide what is best for you.”

 You simply nod your head as you look around the room one final time as you begin to leave with Natasha following you.  As you are leaving the house, Natasha sends a text to Wanda letting her know she found you and to get a room set up for you on their floor.   Now that she has gotten you to stay she wants to make sure you are as close to her as possible so she can be there when you need her.

 As Natasha pulls back up to the compound she sees Wanda waiting outside for you both.  When you step out of the car Wanda immediately walks up to you and starts asking you questions to make sure you are okay. Natasha smiles as she sees Wanda grab your hand and start to walk towards where your new room is going to be.  You look back at Natasha as you are walking away and mouth “Thank you” to her.  Natasha just smiles and mouths “You’re welcome” back to you.

 “When I get Y/N settled, you and I are going to talk” Natasha hears Wanda say in her head.

 Natasha walks inside and is met by Steve waiting inside the doors.  “I see you were able to find Y/N.”

 “Yeah she went to her old house.”

 “I am glad you brought her back.  Do you think she will want to stay? She could be a great asset to the team.”

 “Steve, she has just spent the last two and a half years as a prisoner of HYRDA.  The woman has lost everything she knew before being taken.  Let her get settled in before you try and recruit her. And you need to respect that she may not want any part of this.  Not everyone wants this life.”  Natasha says defensively.

 Steve just smirks. “You know I will never force anyone to join if they don’t want to.  I am just saying she would be great.  I won’t push her Nat, don’t worry.  So, don’t go beating me up yet.”

 Natasha just rolls her eye as she walks towards her room.  As she gets closer she sees the door open to the previously empty room next to hers. She walks to the doorway and hears Wanda and you inside walking around.  

 Each room is it’s own apartment complete with a kitchen, bedroom and living room.  Tony knows not everyone wants to do big meals together everyday, so he created separate living spaces for the team.  Which Natasha is more than grateful for.

 “This is a bit much Wanda. Really, I would be happy with a small room somewhere out of everyone’s way.  This is bigger than the apartment I had in the city.  I can’t accept this.”  Natasha hears you say from the kitchen.

 “You can and you will.”  Natasha says as she walks into the room and sees Wanda nodding along with her.

 “I feel like I don’t have much of a choice in the matter.”  You reply.

 Natasha teasingly smiles, “I am glad we are on the same page then.  We will leave you alone to get settled.  You should have all the necessities already here but if you need anything just ask FRIDAY.”

 “What’s on Friday.”

 “FRIDAY would be me ma’am.” FRIDAY responds.

 Natasha watches as you jump and look around the room.  “What the hell was that.”

 Wanda and Natasha laugh as Wanda replies, “FRIDAY is Tony’s AI.  She runs the building.  She can help with anything you need, big or small. Don’t worry you will get used to her.”

 “Wow, um, okay. Well, thank you.  And thank you again for allowing me to stay.”

 “Like I said Y/N, we aren’t allowing you to stay.  We want you to stay.”

 You just nod in response as Natasha and Wanda leave you to get settled in your new room.

 “So, what happened when you found Y/N,” Wanda asks once they both left your room and walk into Natasha’s.

 “I found her at her old house.  She told me a little about her family and then she started to cry when everything with her parent’s death hit her.”

 “She started to cry?! That’s great.” Wanda excitedly says.

 Natasha just raises her eyebrow at her response and Wanda says, “Not great in that she was crying and what happened to her parents, but it is good that she is finally starting to let herself feel again.”

 “She cried while we hugged for awhile and then we headed back here after I talked her into staying until she figures out what her next move will be.”

 “She hugged you too! She hasn’t let me touch anything other than her hand.  For Y/N to let you hug her and show emotion in front of you means she must really trust you Nat.”

 Natasha tries her best not to smile but Wanda can see her fighting it back.  “Well I am glad she has you to turn to.  I can feel how much you care about her.  Why do you think I put her in the room right next to yours?” Wanda says with a wink.

 Natasha just rolls her eyes at her friend.  “Okay Wanda, I am kicking you out.  I just got back from a mission and I want to rest.  Go bother someone else for a while.”

 “Oh please, you love me,” Wanda giggles as she walks to the door and out of the room.

Natasha takes a moment to think about the past few hours with you.  She hopes Wanda is right.  That you do trust her.  She finds herself being a bit selfish and wanting to be the person you turn to when you need to talk or when you want to spend time with someone.  God, she can’t wait to see you smile and hear you laugh. She already knows it is going to be beautiful.

[wildhoney32]

Starting Over: Chapter Two

Warnings:None

Natasha

 After three weeks of visiting you in the hospital daily, Natasha is frustrated with how little she knows about you.  She only knows the facts about what happened and that is mainly from reading the mission files.  

Anytime she asks you how you are feeling, you shut down and stop talking.  She has even gone so far as to try to get a rise out of you. Nothing.  You simply looked at her and asked her to leave. You didn’t even demand Natasha leave! You just stared at her and asked her to “please leave.”  

 How do I get her to react to anything?!  How to I get her to smile?  How do I get her to get mad?

 “Why are you trying so hard to get a reaction out of Y/N?”  Wanda asked as she walks up behind Natasha as she stands at the entrance to the medical wing.

 “Wanda, don’t read my thoughts it is really creepy.”

 “It’s not like I did it intentionally, but when you are practically screaming it in your head, I can’t help hearing it.  Now answer the question, why are you trying so hard to get a reaction out of Y/N?”

 Natasha just sighs and drops her head as she runs a hand through her hair.  “I don’t know.  There is just something about her that makes me want to help her.  I can tell there is so much more to her and I want to find it. I want her to find it again.”

 Wanda just takes a moment to look at Natasha.  She can feel something in Natasha she has never felt from the woman before.  Natasha is anxious.  “Why don’t I go in and sit with both of you today?  Maybe we can get somewhere.”

 Natasha nods as she starts walking towards your room.  Wanda gently grabs her arm, “But Natasha, you need to accept that Y/N may not be ready to show us her emotions yet.  It has only been a few weeks and she spent years being tortured and treated like, for lack of a better term, a lab rat.  You need to give her time.”

 “I know, I just want to help her.”

 “I know that, but everyone heals at different paces.  I wouldn’t be surprised if it takes her a long time before she shows any of us emotion.”

 “But why, she can trust us. We were the ones who saved her from that place.”

 “Natasha, it took you years to fully trust everyone on this team and even show an ounce of emotion to me. You, better than anyone, should understand how difficult it can be to trust people after what she has been through. The woman also just found out recently that she lost her parents.  She doesn’t have anyone Natasha.”

 “She has us,” Natasha says as she walks away.

 Wanda watches Natasha walks with determination towards your room before deciding to follow.  She has never felt this many emotions come from Natasha before.  She can feel how anxious but determined she is every time she talks about you.  She is interested to see where this will go.

 As soon as they arrive at your room, they find you standing by the window. You are looking out at the landscape of the compound clearly lost in thought.

 Natasha quietly says, “Good morning, Y/N.  I hope it is okay that I came by.  I brought Wanda with me this morning.”

 She watches as you slowly blink and then turn around to look at them.  You are slowly starting to get a bit more color in your skin.  Dr. Cho has been giving you fluids with vitamins to help your immune system recover.  She can also see you are slowly putting on weight. You still have the dark circles under your eyes but she suspects those will be there for a while.  She doesn’t imagine you are getting much sleep.  

 “Hi Y/N it is good to see you again.”  Wanda says.

 Natasha looks at her with confusion.  “It is good to see you too, Wanda.”  You reply quietly.

 “You have been here before?” Natasha asks Wanda.

 “Of course, you aren’t the only one who visits Y/N.  I have been here a few times and spent a few hours with her each time.  Steve came by a two weeks ago to introduce himself as well.”  Wanda says to Natasha before turning back to you. “How did you sleep?”

 “About the same as most nights.”

 “Did you try to sleep on the bed?”

 Natasha looks back at you as your eyes look to the floor as you say, “I tried for a bit, but I just can’t get used to the feeling yet, after sleeping on the floor for so long.”  

 “It’s okay Y/N.  Like I said, it is going to take time. Just keep at it.  I know you will get there.  How are you feeling other than sleep?  How do you feel energy wise?”

 “I feel better.  I can tell the medicine and vitamins Dr. Cho is giving me are helping.  I feel a bit better each day.  Although I still have very little energy.”

 Natasha can tell you want to say more but aren’t sure how to ask.  She sees you quickly glance back out the window before asking, “Would you like to go for a walk outside?  Get some fresh air?”

 You look up at Natasha and she sees your eyes widen just a fraction before going back to normal. You calmly ask, “Am I allowed to go outside?”

 “Of course, Y/N,” Natasha says gently.  “Like I said before, you are not a prisoner.  We want to help you get better.  If Dr. Cho is good with us taking you away for a bit, I think a walk would be very nice.”

 “I agree,” Wanda says.

 After clearing it with Dr. Cho, Natasha and Wanda walk next to you as you walk through the exit and onto the large field in front of the medical facility.  Natasha notices you stop after about 50 feet and stops as well to stay close to you. She turns to face you and watches as you close your eyes and tilt your head up towards the sun.

 You take deep breathes as the slight breeze blows through your hair.  Natasha can’t help but look over your face.  From your eyebrows, to your eyelids and then your nose. She can’t help but notice the curve of your jaw and – “I haven’t felt the breeze of my face since being taken” you say with eyes still closed.

 Your words bring Natasha back to the present as she watches your fingers move gently by your side. You take a deep breath and then slowly release.

 As Natasha watches you, she feels Wanda nudge her in the side.  She thinks Wanda is going to scold her for staring, but when she turns she sees Wanda’s eyes widen and look behind Natasha.  Natasha turns around quietly and watches in amazement as she sees small rocks floating in the air and slowly begin to swirl around each other.  

 Natasha turns back to you to see your eyes are still closed and you have a blank expression on your face. She looks back and watches as the rocks begin to swirl faster before suddenly launching away from the group and landing in the grass.

 Once the rocks land she looks back to see your eyes are open and a Mona Lisa smile on your face before quickly disappearing once you notice Natasha looking.

 “That was incredible Y/N!” Wanda exclaims.  “How long have you been able to do that?”

 “Since before I can remember.  My dad told me he knew I was special when I was a baby and I got mad and pebbles starts to swirl around me.  I haven’t been able to use my powers in so long.  HYDRA always tried to get me to use them, but I always fought against it.  I didn’t want to give them what they wanted.”

 Natasha listens intently as you open up to them.  She is so amazed by you.  You continued to fight against a terrible and terrifying organization even when you were being tortured and could have died.  Yet you resisted them and didn’t give into anyone.  You are one of the bravest people she has ever met.

 “Do you know the extent of your powers?  How much you are able to move or manipulate?”  Wanda asked still amazed at what she saw.

 You quickly look over at Wanda, and Natasha can immediately see the suspicion in your eyes.  She tries to help Wanda by saying, “Forgive her Y/N, she is just a little excited to find another person that can move objects with powers.  She doesn’t ask for any other purpose than pure interest.”

 Wanda looks at Natasha and then back to you.  It suddenly clicks why you became suspicious of her questions.  “I am sorry Y/N, but Natasha is right.  I love to see other people’s powers.  It is such a wonderful gift.”

 “I am able to move and manipulate the four elements.  Although it has been so long since I have tried anything.  What are your powers Wanda?”

 Instead of telling you Wanda decides it would be a bit more fun to show you.  You suddenly see her hands create a red wisp around them before she brings them together forming a small red ball of energy and throwing it. She then jumps off the ground and launches herself into the air before gently landing on the other side of you.  Out of the corner of Natasha’s eye she sees one of the rocks you used earlier lift off the ground and slowly float back to you before dropping to your feet.

 As you stare at the rock on the ground you raise an eyebrow and as dryly, “anything else?”

 “Nope that’s about it” you hear inside your head.  You quickly snap your head up and see Wanda smiling at you.

 “Show off,” Natasha says quietly as she rolls her eyes playfully at Wanda.

 “You are telekinetic? So, you can hear people’s thoughts?”

 “Yes.  But don’t worry I will never invade your privacy.  Sometimes if someone is thinking loudly or has strong emotions I can hear or feel them unintentionally, but I will never purposely invade someone’s privacy.”

 “And you.  What are your powers?”  You ask looking into Natasha’s eyes.

 Natasha stares back at you for a moment before responding, “I don’t have any powers, I am not that special.”

 You don’t even blink before responding, “I don’t believe that is true at all.”

 Natasha is taken aback by your comment and doesn’t know how to respond.  You look at each other for a few more moments before you break eye contact and look towards Wanda, “I am sorry, but I think I need to head back inside and sit down.  Using my powers for the first time in so long has drained me.”

 “Of course.  It was great to be able to get out for a bit.  I can’t wait to see what else you can do!” Wanda says as you all turn to walk back inside.

 Once you are situated back in your room Natasha and Wanda decide to let you rest and take their leave.

 Once they get back to the Avenger’s common room they sit on the couch and continue talking about their time with you.

 “I can’t believe Y/N is able to manipulate the elements, that is incredible.  I can’t wait to see what else she can do once she gets her strength back.  Maybe we could help her strengthen her powers.  Do you think maybe she would want to join the team?!”

 “Calm down Wanda, give the woman some time to get healthy before bombarding her with questions.”

 “You’re right,” Wanda responds.  After a moment she says, “I have to tell you.  I felt odd sensations with Y/N today.”

 “What do you mean odd sensation?”

 “Well when she was floating the rocks, I could almost feel a bit of peace.  But as soon as she noticed you looking at her it’s like she immediately shut everything off in her mind.  And when I asked her about her powers, she started to get anxious before, again, shutting off her emotions.  It’s almost as if her mind is fighting against her subconscious to not feel anything.  I am starting to believe that is how she made it through her time with HYDRA.  She forced herself not to feel.  And now that is all she knows, so even though her body wants to feel emotions, her mind is still telling her it is not okay.”

 Natasha takes a moment to think about what Wanda said.  “Well like you said before, Wanda, we need to give her time to feel comfortable and trust us. While we work our way there, we can keep making her feel as safe as possible.  Hopefully with time she will begin to see that all we want is to help her.

  Reader

 You have been in the hospital for two months now and Natasha and Wanda have come almost everyday to spend time with you.  Sometimes they come together, sometimes they come alone depending on if they are on missions or not.  The days they aren’t able to come at all you find yourself missing them.  Although no one would ever be able to tell by looking at you. You have spent the last few years shutting down your emotions.  It has helped you survive.

 Though, when the women come by you find yourself feeling lighter.  Like the bad memories aren’t weighing you down as much.  Wanda has started to feel a little like a friend. She is so bright and caring and isn’t afraid to tell you how she is feeling. Natasha.  Well you aren’t sure how you feel about Natasha.  She is a friend, but you have a different feeling than you do with Wanda.

 You can tell Natasha is uncomfortable around you, yet she keeps coming by and you aren’t sure why.  Wanda is so at ease around you even though you are closed off.  Natasha always seems on edge.  You have decided the next time Natasha comes alone you are going to ask her why.

 That time comes sooner than you think as you see Natasha walk into your room alone.

 “Good morning, Y/N. How did you sleep?”

 “I slept fine, thank you for asking, Natasha.”  You are conscious of the fact you are still formal with everyone.  Even though they seem more laid back with you, you are still working towards getting back to that place.

 Natasha sits down in a chair across the little table you are sitting at but doesn’t say anything else. You can tell she wants to say something but doesn’t seem to know how.  Deciding to help her out you ask your questions first.

 “Natasha, do you mind if I ask you something?”

 “Of course, Y/N, you can ask me anything.”  Natasha replies as she looks towards you.

 “Why do you keep coming to visit me?”

 “Do you not like me coming by?”

 “It’s not that.  You just seem very uncomfortable whenever you are here.  When you come by with Wanda, she does most of the talking.  You always seem to struggle with what to say.  I don’t want you to feel obligated to come.  You already saved me from HYDRA.  You don’t owe me anything.  I don’t want you to feel like you have to keep helping me.”

 “Y/N, I don’t feel like I have to keep helping you.  I want to keep helping you.  Although, I will admit, I don’t know exactly how to help you.  I have never been very good with emotions.  I was raised to not show emotion, so I struggle with helping you get to the point of expressing them again.”

 “Who says I want to express myself again?  I quickly learned expressing myself does nothing but cause me pain.  Every time I showed any sort of emotions as a prisoner, they used it to dictate their research.  People use your emotions to manipulate you.  Nothing else.”

 Natasha takes a moment to let your words sink in.  As she listens to you speak, she hears herself from before meeting Clint, before meeting Fury, and before meeting the Avengers. Her family.  

 “You sound like me.”  Natasha sees your look of confusion.  “You sound like me when I was in the Red Room.”

 “What is the Red Room?”

 Before Natasha can even stop herself, she says, “The Red Room was where I was raised.  I was taken there as a child against my will and trained to be an assassin.  I was told loving someone was a weakness.  Trusting others was a weakness because all people will ever do is turn on you.  It took me years to stop believing those words.”

 “What made you change your mind?”  You question.

 “Well Clint not killing me when he was ordered to started it.  I didn’t realize it at the time, but looking back, having someone see passed every terrible thing I have ever done and see that I was worth saving was a big step. Then I met Fury, who oversees everything around here.  Finally, I met this team, my family.  And seriously, who can resist opening up to someone like Wanda.  She makes everyone want to be a better person.”

 You can’t help the small smile that appears on your face.  It happens before you can stop it.  There is that feeling again.  That feeling that you get when Natasha is around.  You haven’t felt it in so long, you almost can’t remember what it is.  

 “Y/N, trust me when I say no one expects you to be back to your old self right away.  I am going to be honest, you may never get back to that woman.  What you have been through is atrocious and it has changed you.  But you are not alone.  You have Wanda and Steve and Dr. Cho and everyone else on this team to help support you.  You have me. I will be here for as long as you want me to be.  I can see how special you are and I am not talking about your powers.  Your powers are a wonderful addition to you, but they are not what make you who you are. The strength and courage you have inside is what makes you who you are,” Natasha says passionately. 

 You look at Natasha as she speaks to you and you can’t help but get lost in her eyes.  This is the most emotion you have seen from the red head and you like it.  It is transfixing.

“I come by everyday I am not on a mission because I want to see how you progress.  In the last few months you have not only started to get healthier physically, but I can see the little changes in your attitude.”  Natasha continues as you listen intently.  “You turn a little quicker every time Wanda or I walk in.  You may not smile yet, but your eyes get just a little bit brighter.  You are starting to take your life back from HYDRA and I can’t wait to see what happens next.”

 You are speechless. You can’t remember the last time someone has shown you such kindness.  Even before you were taken.  Natasha has so much faith in you and you can’t understand why.  “Thank you,” is all you can think to respond.

 Natasha gives you a small smile.  You so badly want to return it, but you are still fighting with yourself.  You speak for a while longer about the world and what has changed.  When you can tell Natasha is getting ready to leave and she starts to walk towards the door, before you can stop yourself, you say her name.

 As Natasha turns around you cautiously stand up and walk towards her.  You are shy as you quietly ask, “this is going to sound weird but can you give me a hug?  It has been so long since I have been touched in a way that doesn’t cause me pain.”

 Without replying Natasha opens her arms and lets you step towards her.  You slowly close the distance and wrap you arms around her neck and shoulders as you feel her arms wrap around your waist.  Your eyes close as you take in the feeling of warmth from her body.  God you have missed this feeling.  You were such a hugger before everything happened. There is that feeling of being accepted every time someone hugs you and you feel it tenfold from Natasha.

 You hug Natasha for about a minute before slowly letting go.  She let you hug her for as long as you need, and you are grateful for it. “Thank you,” you whisper.

 “Anytime,” Natasha whispers back, not wanting to scare you away.  

 You slowly step away from her silently letting her know you are okay and she can leave if she wants.

 “I won’t be by for a few days, I am being sent on a mission.  Wanda will be back from her mission soon and I know she will come and visit.” Natasha says as she takes steps towards the door.  “Keep working Y/N, you are making such amazing progress with everything. Don’t stop now.”

 With those last words, Natasha leaves your room.  You stare at the open doorway for a few moments taking in what she just said.  You turn to look at yourself in the mirror and you can see the color on your face has returned and your face is fuller than it was when you got here.  You still have dark circles under your eyes but what do you expect when you still don’t sleep well.  Most nights are plagued with nightmares of the things you went through.

 You can see you are improving physically, you just don’t know if you can ever get there mentally.  Maybe you can with Natasha and Wanda’s help; but you also tell yourself it isn’t their burden to bear.  

[wildhoney32]

Starting Over: Chapter One

Request: “ooh for a one shot or series (whichever works for you) I’m thinking a fem!reader that the team finds at a hydra base and she’s a scared lil baby bc of the manipulation and abuse and Nat plays a huge part in getting her to trust the team and letting them help her gain control of her newfound powers? I had a dream like this and a lot of it featured Nat holding me while I slept and just keeping me safe. I know you would write it beautifully! hope this made sense”

Anonymous, I am so sorry this took so long to write (like literal months!).  The last part of the year was a mix between crazy busy and difficult.  Then I really struggled to get this idea down on paper.  I hope I did your idea justice.  I did change a few things around from your original request, I hope that is okay.

Summary:  After being taken by HYDRA and experimented on and tortured for years, the Avengers find you and bring you home.  Expect you no longer have a home and don’t know where to go.  Natasha is there to help.  She begins to feel things for you that are new for her.  

Warnings:  Mentions of torture, angst, fluff, slow burn. I will label anything specific when each chapter is posted

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reader

 You don’t know how long you have been asleep before being awoken by gunshots in the hallway.  The room they keep you in is pitch black, but you have been trapped here long enough to know the layout.  You slowly sit up in bed and immediately know the bucket you use for the bathroom is five steps in front of you and three steps left, sitting in the corner of the room.  The small sink is five steps ahead and three to the right connected to the other corner. The door to the cell is exactly three steps to your left as you sit on the floor and lean against the wall.  

 The shots continue to get closer and you can hear shouting in both English and Russian. You don’t even flinch as you hear the gunshots.  You raise an eyebrow when you hear what sounds like metal bouncing off the walls and the sounds of electricity followed by painful grunts before a body hits the floor.

 If someone asked you how long ago you were kidnapped by HYDRA and put in this cell, you would guess about 2 years but honestly you lost count.  You haven’t seen the sun in that amount of time and there is no way for you to keep track of time. It could be summer or winter, day or night - you don’t know. Honestly you don’t really care. You have become so apathetic to your situation, your existence, that you wouldn’t care if the people attacking opened the doors and put a bullet between your eyes.  You might actually welcome it.

 HYDRA has run every possible test and experiment on you while you have been here.  They somehow found out you have the ability to control the four elements – fire, water, earth, wind.  Your parents discovered your ability when you were younger and had a temper tantrum and pebbles on the ground started to swirl around your body.

 You were lucky as a kid because your parents were super supportive and helped you work on your powers but also told you that it was incredibly important to never do them in front of other people.  Especially now, in the age of Youtube and camera phones.  They wanted to keep you safe.  That is why it was so terrifying when men burst into your apartment one night and grabbed you out of bed.  You have been here ever since.

 You have no idea what happened to your family or friends. You assume your friends thought you just moved away.  You were always more of an introvert and didn’t get out much.  But who knows what your parents thought?  You have no doubt they searched for you but it’s not like the police could find you, so they probably lost hope pretty quick.

 You are brought out of your thoughts as you hear the door begin to open.  A flashlight immediately shines on your face from the door before quickly scanning the rest of the small room and then resting back on you.  You put your hand in front of your eyes to block the light.  

 “Are you okay?” You hear a deep voice ask from the door.  “Ma’am, are you okay?”  The voice repeats.  It takes you a moment to realize the person is asking you.  You haven’t talked in so long.  The only noises you make now days are screams as scientist pump your body with some new experiments that try and replicate your powers.

 All you can do is nod your head before you see another silhouette of a person standing next to the first.  This person is smaller.  They begin to walk into the room and slowly bend down in front of you.  When they bend down their face is illuminated by the light.  You see a woman around your age with red shoulder length hair.  

 “My name is Natasha. We are going to get you out of here, okay?  Can you stand?”

 You nod again.

 “I am going to hold your upper arm to help you stand up.  Is that okay with you?”

 Another nod.

 She slowly moves closer and puts her hand on your arm just like she said.  Her fingers almost fully encompass your arm with how skinny you are. HYDRA barely feeds you and it’s not like you get exercise, so once you stand you are almost immediately tired from holding up your own body weight.

 Natasha lets you lean on her as you slowly walk towards the door.  Once at the door you hesitate for a moment.  “Is everything okay?”  she softly asks.

 “I just haven’t left this room since I got here”, your voice nothing more than a raspy whisper.  

 Out of the corner of your eye you see Natasha and the man - whom you now see is tall with broad shoulders and wearing a helmet with an “A” on it - exchange a look.  You can’t tell it if the look is anger, pity or a mix of both.  You don’t care to be honest.

 Natasha slowly leads you to a large jet of some type while the other man walks behind you.  Once you are on the jet Natasha takes you straight to a small room with medical supplies. You feel the jet rise off the ground as Natasha grabs some gauze to treat several cuts you have around your body.  

 You don’t make eye contact with her as she works.  You still aren’t sure if you can even trust these two.  Yeah, she says she wants to help you but how do you know they are not just some rival organization of HYDRA and they just stole you for themselves.  She might be nice for a short time before she starts to experiment on you again.

 No, that’s not it. There is something in your head telling you to trust her.  That she is different than all the other ones and that she really does want to help you.

 “Once we get back home, I am going to take you to the medical wing so we can get you the proper treatment you need and an actual bed to lay on.  These bandages are honestly just to make me feel like I am doing something to help you while we wait.”  She says with a small smile as she looks at you.

 You finally look into her green eyes and watch as her eyes roam over your face.  She tries to keep a neutral face but you can see slight changes in her eyes that tell you the site is not pretty.

 You haven’t seen a reflection of yourself since you were taken, but you know it is not good.  That reminds you, “What year is it?” You question.

 Natasha snaps back to your eyes and hesitates, “it’s, 2021.”

 Your breath involuntarily catches as you soak in the new information and look away from her.

 “When were you taken?”

 “I was taken on May 17th, 2018,” you quietly respond.  You knew you lost track of time, but you didn’t realize you were that off.  You have been in that room for almost three years.

 You feel Natasha gently place her hand over yours resting on your lap.  You look at the difference in her hand and yours.  Hers is soft and her nails are perfect.  Your skin is cracked so bad it is bleeding in parts, your veins are showing through because your skin hasn’t been exposed to the sun in almost three years.  Your nails are brittle and differing shades of yellow and black.

 You slowly move your hands to your side so Natasha is forced to move her hand.

 There are no words exchanged between the two of you for the remainder of the flight, but as soon as you land, she is right by your side again helping you walk to the medical bay.

 You keep your eyes on the ground but out of your peripheral vision you can see a small group of people begin to approach before stopping.  You assume Natasha or the man signaled for them to stay back.

 Once you reach the medical bay you are met with a kind woman who introduces herself as Dr. Helen Cho. She says she will be overseeing your stay.  She is observant enough to realize that you are incredibly worn out and just want to sleep. She shows you to a medical room that is nicer than any hospital you have ever seen.   Once she leaves Natasha asks if you would like any help changing or getting to the shower in the room.  You shake your head no and she says she will stop by in the morning before leaving the room.

 After she leaves you stand in the room unmoving for a few minutes thinking about where you might be. At this moment you are too tired to think.  You don’t even take the time to change.  Once you turn off all the lights but one, you slowly get on the bed and try to sleep.

 Natasha

 After leaving your medical room Natasha can’t stop thinking about you.  From the moment she laid her eyes on you in the cell HYDRA kept you in, something in her was, and is, determined to help you.  She doesn’t even know your name, but she knows she wants to help you through everything you have faced, and learn as much as she can about you.

 When Natasha helped you stand, she could feel how skinny you are through your clothes.  As you sat hunched over on the medical table in the quinjet, she could see your spine protruding from your back.  You are severely malnourished, there is no doubt. She has no doubt it is going to take a long time to get you not only physically healthy but mentally healthy. The reports of the torture you have been through are atrocious.  If Natasha wasn’t so well trained, there is no doubt she would have vomited like Sam did as the team read over reports preparing for the mission.

 They all wanted to save you and bring you back.  She just hopes you decide to stay.  She wants to be with you every step you take to get better and she doesn’t know why.  She has barely spoken to you but something in her wants to forever protect you from further harm.  Your spirit might be broken right now, but she can see how strong it is.  She wants to help you get back to the woman you were before going through hell.

 “Natasha, are you okay?”

 Natasha looks up to see Wanda looking at her with concern on her face.  “What do you mean?”

 “Well, you have been staring at the wall for about five minutes and I have been saying your name for the last minute.”

 “Sorry, Wan.  I just got lost in thought about the woman we brought in.  I can’t stop picturing all the horrendous things HYDRA put her through for her powers. I knew they were monsters, but this is a new level of evil.”

 “I am worried about her as well.  The emotions I felt from her as you and Steve passed by us on the way to medical were odd.”

 “What did you feel?”

 “I felt anger and sadness from you and Steve.  But what is odd is I felt nothing from her.”

 “Well she was probably just in shock Wan.”

 “I have felt people’s emotions when they are in shock.  This was different.  This was as if she simply doesn’t feel anything.”

 “Well if that is the case, then we are going to have to help her learn to feel again.  Unfortunately, it will probably be a lot of pain and anger for a while but if we keep working through it, then maybe we can help her feel happiness again too.”

 “I hope you’re right Natasha.  For her sake. Well I am going to head to bed, it has been a long day.”

 “Sounds good Wanda, I think I am heading to bed as well. See you tomorrow.”

 +++++++

 Natasha didn’t want to overwhelm you with too many people, so she decides to wait until 10 am to head down to your medical room again.  As she enters the medical wing she sees Dr. Cho standing by the entrance.

 “Dr. Cho, how is our patient doing?” She asks as she walks up to her.

 “Good morning, Natasha.  She is doing okay.  I went in at about 6 am just to check on her and found her asleep on the floor with a blanket.  When I gently woke her to see if she fell, she jerked away from me and was immediately wide awake.  I took her a change of clothes and told her she could use the shower and put on the new clothes I gave her.  She has barely spoken to me, but she did tell me her name is Y/F/N Y/L/N.”

Natasha listens intently to everything Helen says and decides to keep it as information for later in case she needs it to help you.

 “She took a long shower and when I went back in to check on her, I saw her just standing in front of the mirror staring at her reflection.  I can’t imagine how she feels.  She hasn’t seen herself in almost three years and when she finally does it is as skin and bones.  When I asked if she was ready to go back into the room she just nodded.  Natasha, Y/N has an incredibly long journey ahead of her. When I asked if I could put an IV in her arm to start putting fluids back in her body, she held out her arm and I had trouble locating an area that wasn’t littered in needle marks.”

 Natasha can see Helen fighting back tears in her eyes as she describes your current health condition. She would be crying too if she wasn’t as good at hiding emotions.

 “Y/N is going to need to stay in the hospital for a minimum of a month so we can slowly start to help her get the proper fluids and vitamins she needs.  She is so malnourished we are going to have to start feeding her slowly and work our way up to more calories.  If we start with too much it can overload her system and do more harm than good.”

 “I understand.  Can I see her?”

 “Of course, you know where her room is located.”

 As Natasha turns away from Dr. Cho and walk towards your room, she tries to decide the best way to go about speaking with you.  She decides it is best to let you lead.  You haven’t been in control of anything for the last few years, it is good to let you know you have control over things again.

 Reader

 As you sit in bed staring at the window, you try to remind yourself that the IV in your arm is to help you get better, not to hurt you.  When Dr. Cho first asked, you were hesitant but it’s like your body went on muscle memory and followed directions rather than letting you think about what you wanted. Dr. Cho and the nurses keep telling you that you can say no to things but it’s hard after years of being told you no longer have an option.  When you tried to fight in the beginning, you were beaten until you submitted anyway.  

 You turn upon hearing a knock on the door.  “Good morning.  Do you mind if I come in?”  Natasha asks.

 You just nod and watch as she gets a chair and brings it closer to the bed.  She is sitting closer but not too close.  ‘Is she afraid?  Does she think I am going to hurt her?  Do I want to try to hurt her?’ Your brain is in overdrive with questions that you don’t know the answer to.  There is something telling you to trust her but everyone you have met that knows about your abilities, besides your parents, have only ever wanted to hurt you.

 “I never got your name yesterday. Do you mind telling me what your name is?”

 You take a moment to look over her before looking back out the window.  “My name is Y/N,” you say quietly.

 “It is nice to meet you Y/N. I just wanted to come by and let you know that if you have any questions or concerns you can ask me.  You are not a prisoner here Y/N.  No one here wants to hurt you.  We want to help you get better.”  Natasha says as you continue to look out the window.

 “Where am I?” You decide to ask.

 “You are in upstate New York at the Avengers compound.  It is completely secure, and we can guarantee that no one from HYDRA will be able to hurt you.”

 You had heard of the Avengers when aliens attacked New York City.  You turn to Natasha and realize you had seen her before on the news.  It didn’t click until now.  It also explains the state-of-the-art equipment and top of the line staff.

 “You’re Black Widow,” you say to her.  Natasha notices it is not a question.

 “Yes, I am.  I have been a member of the Avengers since the team was formed.  I worked as a SHIELD agent before that.”

 “Who was the man that was with you last night?”

 “That was Steve Rogers. Captain America.”

 You turn to look her in the eye. “Black Widow and Captain America came to get me. Why?”

 “What do you mean Y/N?”

 “I have been held by HYDRA from almost three years.  Why now? Why am I suddenly special enough for the Avengers to pick me up?  What do you want from me?”

 “Y/N, I can promise you, we don’t have any ulterior motives to getting you.  We received information that a person was being held captive by HYRDA and we wanted to get you out.  I am sorry it took us so long to get you, we just found out about you a week ago when we read through intel after taking down another HYDRA facility.”

 “Do my parents know I am alive?”

 When you don’t get a response you already assume the answer.  “They’re dead, aren’t they?”

 Natasha looks at her hands before looking back at your face.  “Yes, Y/N. When we found out about you, we started doing research and found that the same night you were taken your parents were also killed.  We can only assume HYDRA killed them so they wouldn’t report you missing.  I am so sorry Y/N, if there is anything I can do please let me know.”

 “Please leave.”

 You can see that Natasha wants to argue and stay but after a few moments she nods he head, “Okay Y/N.  But if it is okay with you I would like to come back tomorrow and check on you?”

 After thinking for a moment you nod yes and you turn to look out the window again and Natasha takes that as her cue to leave.

 Once you know Natasha is gone you turn to look at the door.  You always had a feeling something happened to your family but you didn’t want to admit it to yourself.  Hearing it from Natasha is just confirmation that you are truly alone.  There is no one you can turn to.  You make a decision that once Dr. Cho says you are healthy enough to leave the hospital, you are going to leave this place and start over somewhere else.  It’s not like there is any reason for you to stay.

[wildhoney32]

Moving On

Sorry again for the long silence without posting.  Still suffering from terrible write’s block.  This idea popped into my head a few weeks ago so I thought I would turn it into a one shot.

Summary:  After finding out Natasha cheated, you decide to start over

Warnings: Angst, fluff 

7,027

You and Natasha had been together for two years when you found out she was cheating on you with Bucky. You came back early from a mission and wanted to surprise her.

 The moans you heard coming from the bedroom haunted you for so long after finding out.  You couldn’t bring yourself to confront them right away because you knew you would have done something you regret and it would have involved beating the shit out of Bucky.  You may not be a super soldier but with your skills and the rage you felt at the time, you still could have done some damage.

 So, you left and went straight to the bar in the common room and tried to drown some of the anger. That is where Natasha found you an hour later.  She at least had the decency to not look like she had just cheated on you with another member of the team.

 You didn’t even look at her when she walked up.  She had the audacity to look excited to see you home early.  “Baby, when did you get home?  I am so glad—” “How long?” you cut her off.

 “What?”

 “How long have you been fucking Bucky?”

 “Y/N..I.., what are you talking about?”

 “Cut the shit Natasha! I walked in an hour ago to surprise you. Turns out I was the one surprised when I heard you and Bucky having sex in OUR BED!”

 Natasha immediately lost the color in her face and tried to find the words to say.

 “Save your breath and bullshit excuses.  I don’t care and I won’t believe a word that comes out of your mouth anyway.  Safe to say we are done.”  You turned back to keep drinking as she came to stand next to you to keep talking.

 “Y/N, baby, please. We can fix this. It was a stupid mistake and it should never have happened!  I love you.  I am so so sorry, please forgive me.”  Natasha sounded panicked as she spoke.

 “Oh please Natasha, you don’t mistakenly decide to cheat on your girlfriend with someone.  You made your choice.  And the only thing you are ‘so so sorry’ about it getting caught. You and I both know that was not the first time you have fucked him and it sure as hell wouldn’t have been the last if I hadn’t found out.”  At this point, you were staring straight at her, having stood up from your chair to face her.

 “Tell me Natasha, would you have continued to sleep with my friend after I proposed to you? Or how about if we had gotten married?  Would you have stopped then or would you have continued to lie to my face for years to come while sneaking off with him every chance you got?”

 “I—”

 “And don’t you think to fucking lie to me.  I have given you enough of my life to deserve this one honest answer from you.”

 “Y/N, I have never lied about how I feel about you.  I love you so much and I want to spend my life with you.  I fucked up, but please, let me fix this!  PLEASE!”  Natasha cried.  Tears had been rolling down her cheeks at hearing you speak so coldly to her.  You had never been anything but loving and caring to her.   You were holding in the tears, but she could see the pain and sadness in your eyes.  She hated that she was the cause of your hurt.

 You just scoffed as you turned to walk away.  “You can’t fix this Natasha.  Fixing this went out the window when you slept with him.”  You walked away and didn’t look back as you heard her drop to the floor and sob.  A part of you wanted to comfort her, you still loved her after all.  But the anger in you won out and you left her there.

 You stayed away from the tower for three days until you knew Natasha had left for a mission. Even then you went back late at night to avoid seeing anyone.  You packed up your clothes and a few small boxes and left your and Natasha’s room for the last time.  As you were taking the last trip to your car, you saw Wanda in the kitchen. She looked up when she heard you walking to the elevator.

 “Y/N, where have you been?! You haven’t answered anyone’s calls or texts and Natasha hasn’t come out of your room in days.  She only left because she has a mission.  Did you two get into a fight, is everything okay?”

 Wanda had turned into a little sister to you.  When Wanda joined the team, you took her under your wing and supported her after losing her brother.  You knew loss all too well from losing friends in the military.  You bonded over your brokenness and helped to put each other back together.  She was so excited when you and Natasha had gotten together because she cared so much about the both of you.  

 You didn’t want to make Natasha look bad in Wanda’s eyes, but you also didn’t want to lie to her either. Too many people have lied to Wanda in her life, she deserved better.

 You sighed, “We broke up Wanda, I’m leaving.”

 “What, no you can’t leave! There must be some way to fix this. You told me you planned on marrying her one day.  What happened to change all that?”

 “Bucky and Natasha should be able to answer that question better than I can.”  The elevator doors opened, and you stepped in and turned towards Wanda.  Realization was on Wanda’s face as she looked at you sadly.  “Keep in touch Wanda, I love you sis.”

 “I love you too Y/N. I will keep in touch I promise.” As soon as she finished, the elevator doors closed, and you came face to face with your reflection.  As you looked at yourself in the reflection of the doors holding a box of your belongings, you tried to think back to where you went wrong.  When did you stop being enough for her?  You were lost in thought until the elevator dinged and opened to the garage. You walked toward your car as you let a stray tear fall down your face.

 The next day you went to speak to Fury and told him you wanted a transfer.  He didn’t ask questions and you didn’t give a reason. You had a feeling he knew what happened. He always knew.  Fury told you there was in opening in the London office and you could start in a few weeks.  Enough time for you to find an apartment and get settled.  You accepted the position and were on a plane the next day.

 ______________

 It was 18 months ago you landed in London and started the next chapter of your life.  It didn’t take long to fall into the routine of being an agent.  You spent enough time in the military and then as an Avenger to be familiar with the rigorous schedule.

 At work you quickly excelled and showed everyone around why you had been chosen to be an Avenger. You were anything but arrogant and gained a reputation of being not only a badass but also one of the nicest people around.  You wanted to leave your old life fully behind and so you became Agent 15 in the field and became leader of a team specialized in stealth and recovery.  If there was a hostage situation, or high-level mission almost anywhere in the world, your team was the one to take the lead.

 At home, you struggled to sleep, and memories of hearing Natasha and Bucky plagued your dreams. You finally got to the breaking point and sought out a therapist to speak with at SHIELD.  You needed to learn how to trust again.  You hated what Natasha had done but you also hated how you were allowing it to affect how you trusted other people.

 You found yourself second guessing what people said and not believing them when they said they would do something.  Before, you always tried to see the best in people but now you were waiting for the other shoe to drop and the person to lie and deceive you.

 After a few months of being in London you knew you were still not in a place to get into another relationship because as much as you wanted to move on, you found yourself still missing Natasha and wondering how she was. When your mind really went to a dark place, you imagined her laughing and joking with Bucky like you never existed in her life.  You knew you had a lot to work on in yourself, so you started to see Dr. Harmen.

 It took four months working with Dr. Harmen, and working through the exercises she gave you, to really feel like you were ready to start seeing someone again.  What Natasha did really messed with not only your trust but your self-confidence. You knew you could do your job, but she made you feel like you weren’t enough.  Why else would she have gone to Bucky?

 Dr. Harmen really made you find yourself again.  You didn’t always like going to see her because she was brutally honest, but that is also what you liked most about her.  She told you how it was.  No beating around the bush crap.  She helped you to discover yourself again as an individual before she let you see yourself in a pair.  “You can’t love someone else if you can’t love yourself, Y/N.”

 You didn’t understand what that meant until you realized you had spent so much time working to be what Natasha wanted rather than Natasha loving you for you.  Once you got over that hump, you were able to start building yourself up again.  Seeing how amazing you were, faults and all.  God was it a great feeling to be able to look in the mirror and see a confident and strong woman, in every aspect of life, looking back at you.

 During this time, you had become friends with Ashley.  A woman just a year younger than yourself and full of life.  She had been working for SHIELD for three years when you met her. Ashley worked in counterintelligence and would provide your team with all the necessary information needed to safely complete a mission.

 You were immediately impressed by her and the amazing work she did.  You quickly became friends and started to spend time together outside of work. It was great having a female friend after spending all day surrounded by mostly men.  You loved the guys you worked with, they were like your brothers, but just like brothers they could get on your nerves sometimes.  You loved having someone not on the team to spend time with and vent to.

 Ashley listened intently as you would complain about the guys and you would listen as she complained about her boss and the other teams she provided information to.  While you were working with Dr. Harmen you never looked at Ashley as anything more than a friend.  When you started to gain more confidence in yourself and see yourself as more than someone who was cheated on, you also started to see the subtle hints Ashley was giving.

 You always knew she was attractive, and you knew she was into women but you never thought she could be into you.

 After spending a session laying out everything Ashley had said or done; the arm touches, the lingering looks and comments about your figure, you finally got the picture. Ashley was interested, and according to Dr. Harmen, you were totally blind.  

 After realizing you were worth so much more than what Natasha left you feeling, you finally got the courage to ask Ashley out after chickening out a few times.  You went to her office with a small bouquet of her favorite flowers and asked if she would like to join you for dinner.  She immediately said yes, and you thought your face was going to break from how big you smiled.

 ___________

 That was nine months ago, and you and Ashley are still going strong.  She supports you in more ways than you could have every asked for. Including tonight.  Fury asked (told) your team to come to a party hosted at Stark tower after you and the Avengers worked on a successful mission together.  You had worked two different sides of a trafficking ring and were able to successfully take them down.  Although you never directly worked together the team had heard a lot about Agent 15 and they wanted to meet them in person.

 The night was designed to remind the US government how much SHIELD did for the world so Fury wanted as many SHIELD agents and Avengers there as he could get.  Which meant every person he asked to attend suddenly had nothing on their calendar for the night.

 When you found out about the event you almost had a panic attack.  Luckily Ashley was by your side and helped you with breathing exercises to get through the initial shock.  You had told her what had happened between you and Natasha about 3 months into being together.  She took it better than you expected.  She actually said it explained some of your behavior and why you would seek her approval so much.  You didn’t even realize you were doing it until she pointed it out to you.

 Your relationship actually became stronger after that night.  When you found out about the party she immediately offered to attend the party with you.  She knew you missed a lot of the members of the Avengers, especially Wanda, and you wanted to see them again.

 Having her offer to travel across the Atlantic with you for a party meant more than she would every know. You took her up on her offer and that is how you ended up standing where you were now.  

 18 months after leaving, you walked out of the same elevator you had said goodbye to Wanda from.  With Ashley by your side you took a minute to take in your surroundings and decorations.  The room was full of people.  Some you recognized as fellow agents, some as politicians and others you had never seen before.

 As you looked around you could feel Ashley’s hand tighten in yours, “Baby, just a heads up I see Natasha by the bar.  Do you want to avoid her, or do you think you will speak with her?  I will support you in either choice.

 Hearing her speak softly in your ear helped to ground you even after hearing what she said.  You didn’t know if it was the British accent she spoke with or her soft tone, but she had always had the ability to calm your anxieties.

 “Neither.  I will not avoid her but if she wishes to speak to me, she will have to seek me out.  I have nothing to say to her.  Nor Bucky for that matter.”

 “Sounds good.  I will be by your side if you need me.”

 “Thank you for coming tonight Ash, it means the world.”

 “I will always be by your side, Y/N.”

 As you start to walk around, Ashley offers to get you a drink. You know Natasha is helping tend the bar as usual, so you appreciate her willingness to get a y/f/d for you.  As you are waiting for her to return, you suddenly realize you have lost the ability to move.

 “Wanda, it is not nice to freeze people in place, I thought we talked about this,” you say with a smile on your face.

 “Well how else am I supposed to keep you in one place long enough to make sure I get a chance to talk to you.”  Wanda playfully responds back.

 Once you are released, you turn to see Wanda standing a few feet from you with a big smile on her face. You quickly open your arms and she runs into them wrapping you up in a crushing hug.

 “I have missed you so much Y/N!  I can’t believe you are here.”  She says while still hugging you.

 As you pull back you keep your hands on her upper arms and say, “well I wanted to surprise you.  I haven’t seen you in a year and a half, so I wanted to have a little fun.”

 You both smile at each other as Ashley comes back with your drink.  “Here you go babe,” she says as she hands you your y/f/d.  You take the drink from her and turn back to Wanda.

 “Wanda, this is my girlfriend Ashley.  Ashley, this is my close friend slash little sister Wanda.”

 “It’s a pleasure to meet you Wanda, Y/N had told me so much about you.  It sounds like you two are very close.  We would love for you to come visit London when you can.  I know you are busy being an Avenger, but know the invitation always stands.”

 “Yeah Wanda that would be great, you can stay with Ashley and she can show you around the city,” you joke.

 “Well I already like Ashley more than you anyway so that sounds great.”  Wanda replies as you all laugh.  “But seriously, I would love to come and visit.  It is always nice to get away for a bit.  The boys are driving me crazy anyway.  I was actually hoping to get away from a bit this week but then Fury oh so nicely ordered us to all be here so we could mingle with politicians,” she says while rolling her eyes.  “Although I am curious to meet this Agent 15 everyone has been talking about. Sounds like they are quite the agent. Do you know anything about them?”

 You and Ashley share a glance and a knowing smirk.  “Oh, they are quite impressive indeed, Wanda,” Ashley says while wrapping her arm around your waist.

 Wanda looks at you with a questioning look and it all clicks as she watches you lean into Ashley and smirk while looking at the ground.  “Oh my God, your Agent 15 aren’t you?!” Wanda loudly says.

 “Wanda keep your voice down,” you chuckle “Yes, I am Agent 15.”

 “That is amazing! Lady, you are kicking ass out there. I always knew you were incredible but what you and your team have done and the missions you have completed; you have taken it to a whole other level.  Hell even Steve and Natasha are impressed with you all.”  As soon as she says Natasha’s name her eyes widen, “Y/N, I am so sorry I didn’t mean to bring her up.”

 “It’s okay Wanda, I knew she was going to be here tonight.  I have told Ashley what happened, there are no secrets between us.” You say gently so the other woman doesn’t worry.  “Although, I do appreciate how protective you are.  So, tell me, how is the team doing anyway?”

 Wanda looks at both of you before letting out a sigh, “To be honest, it was bad for a while.  I didn’t tell anyone what happened after you left because I didn’t want to break your trust.  But it was obvious something happened between you and Natasha.  Steve finally got to the breaking point after he tried to team me and Natasha up during a big mission and I refused.  When he asked me why, I admit I was childish and told him to talk to Natasha about it.  Steve pushed Natasha enough that she yelled out that she and Bucky had slept together and that is why you left, and she had no idea where you had gone.

 As soon as she said that Tony stormed out of the room.  You know how much he loves you.  Well everyone does and once they found out why you left so suddenly, they pretty much turned on Natasha and Bucky. Even Clint refused to talk to her.”  Wanda looked around before continuing, “It caused a huge rift in the team.  Y/N I don’t think you realize how important you are to everyone here. I know you never thought of yourself as anyone special, but you are to so many people.”

 Ashley gently squeezes your hand when Wanda said that, and you look at her and see her smiling back at you.  You blush and duck your head as Wanda continues, “Tony tried a 100 different ways to get Fury to tell us where you went but he never told us.  All he said was you asked for a transfer.  For a long time Natasha barely spoke to anyone and no one really tried to speak to her.  Bucky knew how much people loved you so he disappeared for a while and I think stayed with Steve.  Things have slowly started to go back to what it used to be.  There is always going to be a you sized hole in the team and it still feels like something is missing.  But once Fury told us you were doing well then we all started to heal a bit. Natasha and Bucky still don’t talk, but he has moved back into the tower.”

 It was quiet amongst the three of you for a few moments before you said, “I never intended to cause any problems.  I left to avoid causing problems.  I am still struggling with forgiving Natasha but I never wanted her to have to suffer at the hands of the team.  She messed up and she will have to accept that and live with it. But having to endure what she went through with the team is not something I ever wanted her to have to go through.”

 You looked over at Ashley, “I think I have changed my mind.  I need to talk to Natasha and finally get closure on that part of my life. Would you mind staying here with Wanda?”

 “Of course, I told you I will support you in whatever you decide.  I will be here waiting when you are done.”  She leans in and gently gives you a kiss wishing you luck before you get up.

 “Wanda would you mind keeping Ash company while I speak with Natasha?”

 “Oh no, not at all, I have plenty of stories I can tell her about you,” she says with a smirk.  You just roll your eyes as you walk away.

 “So, tell me, how did you and Y/N meet?” Wanda questions.

 “Well, we started off as friends because I could tell she was still getting over someone and it just grew from there.  I liked her from the beginning and just enjoyed being able to spend time with her outside of work.  I do intelligence analysis for a few of the teams in London.  Y/N’s team has quickly turned into my main one due to their missions. When she was ready she came to my office with flowers and asked me out on a date.  We haven’t looked back since.  That was about nine months ago.”

 “That is so sweet.  I am so glad she has found someone so supportive of her.  I don’t think she ever really got that with Natasha.  I hope you know how amazing she is and that you treat her how she deserves.” Wanda says the last part with red in her eyes.

 “No need to threaten me Wanda,” Ashley chuckles.  “I deserve to have you throw me off the London Eye if I ever hurt her.  I almost want to thank Natasha for fucking up the best thing that ever happened to her.  Without that, I wouldn’t have the best thing that ever happened to me.”  Ashley looks over and watches you walk over to the bar as Wanda continues to watch her.  Wanda is tempted to read her mind but as she feels waves of love coming off Ashley as she looks at you, she doesn’t need to.  She knows you two are perfect for each other.

 _______________

 You take a final deep breath before reaching the bar.  Natasha’s back is to you and you aren’t sure if she can tell you are behind her since you stopped wearing the perfume she gave you while you were together.  Your question is answered when she turns around and stops in her tracks when her eyes meet yours.

 She quickly recovers and walks to where you are standing in front of the bar.  “Hi, Natasha,” you say just loud enough for her hear over the noise.

 “Hi, Y/N,” she responds, surprise clear in her voice.  “What are you doing here?”

 “Fury told my team we needed to attend.  Looks like some politicians needed schmoozing.  May we talk?”

 Natasha looks around the room and then back at you nervously.

 “I am not here to make a scene or yell. I just think we need to talk about what happened.”

 Natasha looks at you for a moment before nodding her head and walking around the bar.  She leads you out to the balcony that is closed to guests but open for the Avengers.

 Once outside, you both take a moment to look out over the city as you silently get your thoughts together.

 “I really do miss this view. London is beautiful, but New York was home.”

 “So, London is where you have been for the past year and a half.”  You can tell Natasha isn’t asking a question, it is more of a statement to herself.

 “I have to be honest. I had no intention of speaking with you tonight.  I was only going to talk if you wanted to, but based on your surprise you didn’t expect to see me here at all.”

 “Fury failed to mention you would be attending.  But I am glad you’re here, I have missed you.”

 You looked over at her and saw she was already looking at you.  You didn’t know how to respond.  After what she did you had wished you had never met her while at the same time wanting to see her again.  But that was so long ago.  Instead you choose to ignore her comment.

 “I spoke with Wanda and she told me how the team treated you after I left.”  Natasha lowers her eyes at your words and moves to look out over the city again.  “I am sorry our friends treated you so horribly, that was never my intention.  I just needed to leave and start over somewhere without having to explain anything to the team.”

 “Why did you leave when I was on a mission?  I came back to all your things being gone and no warning from you. My heart shattered when I saw you left without even a goodbye.”

 “And my heart shattered the second I heard you having sex with Bucky,” you say trying to keep your anger at bay.  You were here so you could finally move on, not to have some huge fight.  “I couldn’t face you after what you had done so I got my stuff in the middle of the night and asked Fury for a transfer the next day. The only one that saw me leave was Wanda.”

 “Y/N, I just wanted to explain and try to fix what I had broken.  Sleeping with Bucky is one of the biggest mistakes of my life and I have made a lot of mistakes.  You are one of the best things that has ever happened to me and I let it all go for a night of sex.”

“There was no explanation I wanted to hear then and there still is not an explanation I want to hear now. It doesn’t matter why you did it, all that matters is that you did.  For months after I felt like I had done something wrong and I wasn’t enough for you. My therapist finally helped me to find my own self-worth.”

 Natasha looked at you with such sadness, “Y/N, I am so sorry I made you feel like you weren’t enough. I felt like I wasn’t enough for you and I made a terrible mistake because of it.  I will never forgive myself for what I did.”

 “You should Natasha. Forgive yourself because I am working on forgiving you too.  You are an invaluable member of the Avengers and they are a better team because of you. I truly hope you can find happiness again.  I will talk to the guys and tell them we have made peace and to back off.”

 “You are too good a person Y/N, I hope you can find happiness too.”

 “I already have.” You say with a soft smile.  “I wish you all the best Natasha.  Be safe out there.”

 “Thank you, Y/N.  You too.”

 You leave Natasha standing on the balcony as you make your way inside.  As you are walking back to Ashley you make eye contact with Bucky. He looks at you before he starts to make his way over to you until he sees your hard stare and you shaking your head no.  You needed to clear the air with Natasha, but you don’t give a shit about speaking with Bucky.  You are a good person, not a saint.  One word out of his mouth and there would be a scene.

 __________________

 As you reach Ashley, you see her sitting in between Sam and Clint laughing.  “Whatever they are telling you are all lies and I will deny everything.”

 “Oh really,” Ashley says as she holds out her hand to you and you make Clint move as you sit down next to your girlfriend.  “Even the time you and Clint rigged Sam’s wings to stay open after training so when he went to walk through a glass door frame, he shattered the glass when they didn’t close?”

 You look at Sam and then Clint and laugh, “Ok, yes, that was totally us!”

 You spend the next hour reminiscing on old stories with your friends and Ashley.  You love that she can finally meet all your friends.  She obviously knows who they are but being able to introduce them as Sam and Clint instead of Falcon and Hawkeye makes you so happy.  Your new life is blending in perfectly with your old life.

 You are so caught up in laughing with everyone you don’t feel a pair of green eyes linger on you and Ashley.  Natasha can’t help but watch from afar, wishing her arm was the one wrapped around you right now, not this other woman whom she has never seen.  She must stop herself from coming over and introducing herself because she knows it would just be awkward for everyone and it would be purely out of jealousy on her part.

 She has hoped since the day she found all your things gone that maybe, just maybe, with enough time you would return and she could earn your trust back.  But as she watches you look at the other woman, she sees a sparkle in your eyes that she never saw when you looked at her, and she has no one to blame but herself.  Natasha knows she was so focused on her own needs that she many times overlooked yours. Hell, that is how she ended up in bed with Bucky.  You were gone and he was there and flirting with her.  She didn’t even stop to think about how it would affect you until she saw you at the bar that night.

 She did not deserve you then and she does not deserve you now.

 ________________

 After being at the party for a few hours, you hear Tony’s voice through speakers coming from the stage. “Dear God, who gave that man a mic?” Sam mumbles next to you.  You elbow him in the ribs and hear an “umph” come from him while you smile and roll your eyes at his comment.

 “Ladies and gentlemen, agents and fellow Avengers, thank you all for being here tonight.  This evening was designed to bring us all a little bit closer together even though many times we are stationed a half a world away from each other.  Without further ado I would like to introduce Director Fury.”  Tony says surprisingly professional as you watch him hand over the microphone to Fury as he walks on stage.

 “Thank you Stark.  As you are all very aware I am a man of few words, so I will get right to it.  There are people in this room who still believe we are not doing enough to keep this world safe and want to have further government control over our actions. There is no doubt you all know what the Avengers do because of the media surrounding them, but there are so many other people who make up this agency and help to keep the world safe.

 As I have walked around tonight and spoken to many of you, the name Agent 15 has been mentioned on multiple occasions.  Over the past year Agent 15’s team has worked tirelessly to stop countless terrorist attacks and solve hostage situations without losing a single hostage.  I know you all want to put a face to the name and with their permission I am here to introduce you all to Agent 15.  Agent Y/F/N Y/L/N please join me on stage.”

 Once your name is mentioned everyone you have been talking to tonight, besides Ashley and Wanda, look at you shocked.  It is not that they don’t believe you could have possibly done everything you have done, they are surprised you have never revealed yourself.

 You weave your way through people as you make your way to the stage.  As you walk up to the stage, you pass Tony and hear him mumble, “sneaky little soldier,” with a grin on his face.

 You walk on stage and shake Fury’s hand.  The most you get out of him is a head nod before he hands you the microphone and walks to the back part of the stage.

 “Thank you, Director Fury, and thank you all for coming here this evening.  I know most of you know me as a passed member of the Avengers as well as a passed soldier in the US Army.  Both positions and the people around me during those times of my life led me to where I am now.

 A little over a year ago, I decided it was best to leave the Avengers and head to London to begin work with a new team, with a different mission.”  As you speak you make eye contact with Natasha who is alone in the back of the crowd.  She has a mix of sadness, hurt and pride in her eyes as she looks at you.

 “The Avengers will always be like a second family to me and I am so grateful for the work I was able to do with them.  When the time came, I felt there was no other option than to leave.”  You break eye contact with Natasha and look over to where Ashley is sitting with Wanda, Sam, and Clint.  “The opportunities I have been given with my team over the last year and the people I have met as been amazing.  Without the men and women on my team, there is no doubt we would not have been as successful as we have been.”  You look directly as Ashley and say, “And without the amazing people surrounding my team and watching out for us, I know we would not have accomplished as much as we have.

 For those of you here tonight who support us, I think I can speak for every agent and Avenger when I say we thank you.  For those who are not sure we are doing enough or need more oversite, I ask that you get you heads out of the political fog you seem to be stuck in.  You need to see that without the men and women in this room willing to step up and fight the evil of this world, there would be so much more destruction and pain than there already is.  We know our job is far from over and we will continue to fight for the good people of this world, with or without your approval.”

 As you walk off the stage there are many people clapping and cheering for you, but just as many people shocked that you had the guts to say it to their faces.

 “I have really missed you Y/N,” Tony says as he pulls you into a hug.  “That was a perfect example of the woman that I used to know and get in to trouble with.”

 You separate and look in his eyes, “I have missed you too, Tony.  Wanda has been filling me in on all that has happened over the last year.”

 “I can’t believe Natasha and Bucky did that to you.  I am so sorry it ended the way it did.  I just wish you could have said goodbye before you left.  I was heartbroken when I heard you left in the middle of the night.”

“I am sorry about that Tony, but at the time I couldn’t handle facing everyone and the pity I was bound to face.  But trust me when I say it has been for the best.”

 “Yeah I heard a rumor you are here with quite the stunning woman tonight.  Tell me how much are you paying her?”

 “Haha, Tony.  I would have you know Ashley came here totally voluntary tonight and we have been seeing each other for about nine months now.”

 “I am really happy for you Y/N, you deserve someone who will treat you like a queen.”

 “Thank you, Tony.  I think we are going to be in town for a few more days. Would you and Pepper like to join us for dinner before we leave.”

 “We would love that.   I know Pepper misses you just as much as I do.”

 “I miss her too.  Well I better get back to my beautiful date before Sam tries more of his pick-up lines on her.”  You begin to walk away before turning back to him, “Hey, Tony, do me a favor?”  Tony looks at you and nods for you to continue, “Ease up on Natasha.  She has suffered enough, she doesn’t need the whole team reminding her that she screwed up.  You two are teammates after all.”  

 “You used to be out teammate too, Y/N.”

 “I know.  But I have never been happier than I am with Ashley. So please, for me, forgive her.”

 “And what about Bucky?”

 You smirk, “Do with him as you see fit, I could give two shits about that homewrecker.”

 As you turn back around to walk back to the group you hear Tony start to laugh at your words.

 “Hey baby, you about ready to go?”  You ask Ashley as you reach the group.

 “Of course, darling, if you are?”  You know what she is asking, and you just give her a tight-lipped smile and nod, silently explaining that you will tell her about it when you are alone.

 As Ashley stands, she looks about at Wanda, “Please Wanda, do come to London.  We would love to have you stay with us and show you around the city.”

 “I promise as soon as Steve lets up on the training, I will get Stark to lend me a jet for a few weeks and come over.”

 “Well tell him you have earned a vacation and your sister misses you,” you respond and Wanda stands to hug you both goodbye.

 “I love you, Wan,” you whisper in her ear as you hug.  “I love you too, Y/N.”

 You and Ashley say goodbye to everyone else before heading to the elevators.

 As you walk into the elevator you turn around and see Natasha looking at you.  You look back at her and right before the doors close you give her a final smile and nod goodbye.

 Once the doors are closed you feel Ashley looking at you.  “I don’t need to know all the details because that is between you and Natasha, but tell me, did you get the closure you were looking for?”  You can hear the uncertainty in her voice as she asks.

 You turn to face her fully and take both her hands in yours.  “I did.  I said what I needed to say and feel like that chapter is officially over.”

 Ashley smiles at you, “I am glad it all worked out and you said what needed to be said.”

 “Well I haven’t said all that needs to be said.”  Ashley looks at you with confusion.  “This entire trip you have been nothing but supportive and encouraging.  I know this couldn’t have been easy for you coming with me back to where everything happened and then having me leave to speak with my ex.  I want you to know how much having you here means to me.”  You pull both her hands towards you and then wrap your hands around her waist.  “I should have said this the moment I knew but I was scared and felt like something was stopping me.  But there isn’t anything stopping me anymore.  I love you Ashley, and I can’t wait to see what the future has for us. As long as you are by my side, I know without a doubt it will be wonderful.”  

 As you stop talking and look at Ashley, you bring your thumb up to wipe away a tear that has fallen on her cheek.  “Y/N, you have no idea how happy that makes me!  I love you too baby and I can’t wait to spend the years to come with you.”

You both lean in and kiss passionately as tears fall from both your eyes.

As you and Ashley shed tears for the happiness and love you two have, Natasha walks back to her room alone letting tears of regret fall knowing, because of her, she lost the best thing that ever happened to her.

I hope you all enjoyed.  As usual, leave any comments or feedback.

[wildhoney32]

I am so sorry for all the back and forth with my masterlist. I have been called a lot of things, but tech savvy has never been one of them. I think I finally figured out how to make a masterlist, post it, pin it, AND still be able to edit it without having to redo the whole thing every time I want to add a new story 😁. At least until my next update 🤦‍♀️

[wildhoney32]

More than Good Enough

Summary: After a breakup you start to lose confidence in yourself and try to change.  Natasha watches from afar and does what she can to help.

Slight angst, self confidence issues, fluff.

5,971

____________

Natasha is sitting on the couch reading a book when she hears the elevator door open.  She looks up to see you quickly walk off the elevator and towards your room.  ‘Were those tears in her eyes,’ she thinks to herself.  “Y/N” she says but gets no reply.

 She decides to get up and follow you to your room to make sure you are okay.  As she follows you, she tries again, “Y/N, are you okay?”

 As you reach your room you fumble with the keys before dropping them. Natasha watches as you begin to quietly sob.  She hurries forward and picks the keys up for you and then pulls you into a hug.  You don’t say anything as you continue to sob into her chest.  

 Natasha quietly asks FRIDAY to open your door before walking you inside and over to your couch.  You still have not said anything to her.  All she knows is you had a date with your girlfriend of 9 months and now you are crying.

 She has never liked your girlfriend but that probably has a lot to do with the fact that she has had feelings for you longer than she cares to admit. Well that and she thinks your girlfriend acts like a stuck up bitch to her.  But it is mainly the whole feelings thing.

 “Y/N, can you tell me what is wrong?  I want to be able to help you but I can’t if I don’t know why you are crying,” Natasha quietly says as she runs her hand through your hair while your head rests on her shoulder.

 “I’m not good enough.  I will never be good enough,” You sob.

“What are you talking about, you are amazing.  Who said you aren’t good enough?”

 “Tara has been cheating on me with some guy from her gym for the last three months.  I found out tonight when he sent her a nasty text and I saw it.”

 Natasha just stays quiets because she can tell you aren’t done.

 “She looked at me and said, ‘Well honestly, what do you expect, you aren’t that pretty, you could stand to lose weight and you are always gone,” You says between choked up breathes.

 “That is such bullshit!  Y/N you are beautiful and wonderful just the way you are.  And you are gone because you are always on missions helping people.”

 “I told her I was gone for work and she just said I need to stop pretending to be so important.  If I was actually an important Avenger I would be on the news.  She said I am either not on the news because I am not important or because I am not pretty enough to talk about, I could pick.” Once you stop you continue to sob.

 ‘Jesus, I am going to destroy that bitch,’ Natasha thinks to herself. ‘What as conceited asshole.’

 “Tara said she only stayed with me to hopefully get famous.  She said now that I know about John, or whatever the fuck his name is, there is no point in me staying.  I got my purse and left.”  You slowly stop crying as you sit and look at your hands.

 “Y/N, please believe me when I say you are more than good enough, and Tara was an idiot and a self-centered fool for not seeing it.  You deserve only the best.”

 You stay quiet for a few minutes, but Natasha can see you start to close in on yourself. ‘Please Y/N, please don’t start to think you aren’t good enough’ Natasha pleads in her head.

 “Nat, I appreciate you sitting with me, but I would really just like to be alone.  I am going to go to bed.”

 “Okay. But please don’t for one second believe you aren’t good enough.”

 You don’t say anything, you just nod as you get up and head into your bedroom.

 Natasha feels her heart ache as she watches you walk away looking so dejected. How can you not realize how gorgeous you are?  Even with tear stained eyes and messy hair you are still the most beautiful woman in Natasha’s eyes.  How could someone ever leave you for some dude at the gym.  What a fucking cliché.

 As Natasha quietly gets up to leave, she starts to rack her brain for anything she can do to help you realize you are amazing.

 ____________

 The next morning, Natasha walks into the kitchen and sees the team, minus you sitting around the room.  “Has anyone seen Y/N this morning?”  Natasha asks.

 “I saw her come in earlier, but she just grabbed a bottle of water and said she was going to the gym.  Her eyes were puffy and she just ignored me when I asked if she was okay.”  Steve said with concern in his voice.

 “She found out last night Tara has been cheating on her with some dude for the last few months.”

 Immediately she is met with “WHAT!” from multiple people and “I am going to ruin that woman” from Tony.

 “Tony, what are you doing?”  Wanda asks when she sees him immediately open his laptop.

 “I just told you, I am going to ruin her.  I am going to hack into all of her social media and ruin her reputation. With women like her, that hurts more than stealing from them.”

 “Tony, come on, be smart,” Natasha tells him as she comes to stand behind him, “don’t forget to bounce the IP address off multiple places so no one can figure out where it is coming from.”

 “NATASHA!”  Steve says, “I can’t believe you are encouraging this!”

 “You didn’t see her last night Steve, she was so broken.  That bitch told her so wasn’t pretty enough, needs to lose weight and wasn’t an important part of our team.  Now is not the time to be an adult.  There is only one way to get through to a mean girl, and that is by being a mean girl.  And no one does mean girl better than Tony.”

 “Thank you,” Tony says without looking up from his computer.

 “She told her those things?”  Wanda quietly asks.  “How could she say that. Y/N is one of the best people I have ever met, and she is so pretty.  And needs to lose weight?! Are you crazy, the girl is pure muscle, if she lost any weight she would be losing muscle.”

 A few moments later you walk into the kitchen dripping of sweat. Everyone looks at you with sad eyes, but no one says anything.

 “I assume Nat told you then, based on all of your reactions.”

 “Y/N, I am so sorry, but you deserve to be with someone who treats you better.  She was no good.”

 “Thanks Steve, but I could just use some privacy and some alone time for a bit everyone.  I appreciate your kind words, but I just need some time.”

 Everyone nods their head in understanding.

 You leave the kitchen to head back to your room.

 “Well on the bright side, maybe Nat can finally stop starring at her like a creep and finally make a move.”  Bucky says with a smirk on his face while Sam tries not to laugh next to him.

 “I have no idea what you are talking about Barnes.”

 “Oh come on Natasha, you might be a super spy but when it comes to Y/N you are terrible at hiding you feels.”  Sam chimes in.

 Natasha just looks up and glares but gives up when she sees he isn’t getting scared.  She looks around the table and sees everyone smiling at her.  “Seriously, all of you!”

 “Nat, you would make such a cute couple,” Wanda whines from her seat. “We all know you would treat her like she deserves.”

 “Guys she literally just found out her girlfriend has been cheating on her.  I am not just going to swoop in a be some rebound.”

 “We are not saying be a rebound, but give her some time, be there for her and when the time is right ask her on a date.”  Steve says.

 “Wow, all of you have thoughts on this?”

 “Oh yeah, we have talked a few times how to set you two up,” Tony says as he continues to type away on his computer.  “Ha!  Got it! All of her photos have been uploaded without the filters on them, I have even added some terrible ones, and I have also included some recordings from her phone of just being an overall terrible person to other people.  Best part, I changed all her passwords so she won’t be able to take anything down. Good luck being an influencer now! And I have a feeling based on the bro she has been cheating on Y/N with, he won’t stay with her past noon today.”

 Natasha looks over his shoulder to look at his handy work. “Well done Tony.  No one messes with my girl…I mean our girl.”

 “Yeah sure you do,” Bucky says while drinking his coffee.

 “Fuck you all.”

 “Pretty sure we are not the one you want to be fucki- OW! What was that for,” Tony asks while rubbing his head.

 “Don’t ever speak about Y/N like that!”

 Everyone just smiles, “Oh sweety you have it bad” Wanda gently says.

 “All of you can shut it.”  Natasha says as she leaves the room.

 _______

  It has been two months since you found out your girlfriend had been cheating on you.  Natasha has seen very little of you and so has everyone else.  Every time Natasha asks FRIDAY all she gets is “Agent Y/N is on a missions Agent Romanoff.”  

 Natasha is starting to get worried because when she checks in with Maria she finds out all the missions are only one or two days.  Which means you are not getting any rest in between them and running your ragged.

 “FRIDAY, notify me as soon as Y/N gets back from her mission.  No matter the time of day.”

 “Yes, Agent Romanoff.”

 It takes only a day for Natasha to be woken up at 3 am to, “Agent Romanoff, Agent Y/N is arriving in two minutes from her mission.”

 Even though she was asleep she quickly finds herself wide awake and rushing out of her room to the landing pad to meet you.

 As you walk off the quinjet she can immediately see you have lost weight and your shoulders are slumped over.

 “Hey Y/N, welcome home.”

 You look up surprised not expecting anyone to greet you as you get home. “Natasha, what are you doing awake.” Natasha can see how you quickly stand up straight and appear to be fine, but she knows better. She hasn’t spent years discreetly watching to not know the ins and out of you.

 “I haven’t seen you in a while and I wanted to see you.  I hope that is okay?”

 “Of course, I just wasn’t expecting anyone.  To be honest Nat, I am pretty tired and was just going ot head to bed.”

 “Mind if I walk with you to your room?”

 “Of course not.  How have you been?”   You ask as you start to walk back inside and to your room.

 “I have been good.  I miss seeing you and sparing with you, but other than that I am good.”

 “Sorry, Nat I have been so busy with missions I haven’t had much time to do anything.”

 “It’s okay.  What do you say to some sparring tomorrow afternoon after you get some rest?”

 “I can’t.  I have a mission I leave on at 1700 so I won’t be able to.”

 “Y/N, you are running yourself thin.  Why don’t you take some time off and spend it relaxing with the team?”

 “I can’t Nat, I need to earn my place.” You say as you get to your room and open the door.

 “What do you mean earn your place?  You don’t need to prove anything. You are just as much a part of this team as the rest of us.  We don’t ever have to prove things to each other.”

 “Easy to say coming from the Black Widow,” you mumble.  You say it so quietly, Natasha barely catches it as you begin to close the door.

 “Y/N, wait plea-” she tries to say as you close the door “talk to me,” she finishes quietly.

 What did you mean by ‘easy for you to say’ she wonders as she walks back to her room.  All she knows is she is done standing by watching you take mission after mission.

 __________

 The next morning Natasha heads straight to Maria’s office to talk to her.

 “Maria, what can you tell me about the mission Y/N is going on today?”

 “Why so interested Agent?”

 “She is a member of my team and she has been sent on so many missions lately I just want to know why.”

 “She hasn’t been sent on missions, she has been asking to take them.”

 Hearing that makes Natasha pause.

 “What do you mean asking for them?  Why?”

 “All I know is she started to come into my office two months ago and asked to be put on any short-term individual assignment available, no matter the skill level. She has been on everything from level 4 to level 8 stuff in the last two months.”  Maria answers.

 “Haven’t you questioned why she is trying to do that?”

 “I am not a rookie Natasha, of course I have.  All I get is her saying ‘she needs to earn her place’.  I don’t get why, but she seems to be staying healthy and I have a ton of missions that needs to be closed, so I am going to let her take them.”

“What is the one tonight?”

 “Um” Maria says as she looks through her tablet, “simple date collection, in and out.  Should be back no later than tomorrow early morning.”

 With that Natasha nods at Maria and leaves her office.  She is starting to think she has some idea why you are taking so many missions.  You are taking to heart what that bitch said to you about not being important to the team. She is going to make you see how untrue that is.

 ___________

 Natasha waits until you have been gone for a few hours on the mission and then heads into your room with the help of FRIDAY.

 When you get back to your room, you see a single sunflower sitting on your table.  As you walk closer you see a photo and a letter laying under the flower.

 You have been trying to lose weight and have been taking more missions to prove you are a valuable member of the team, but nothing feels different. You still feel like you are worthless in their eyes.

 You pick up the photo and see it is from the one-year anniversary of you joining the Avengers.  You have such a big smile on your face and everyone in the photo shares the same smiles as they look at the camera.  All but Natasha. She just happened to look over at something by you as the photo was being taken.  It almost looks like she was looking at you, but you know that couldn't be true. Oh how you wish she was actually looking at you.  But you couldn’t keep a woman like Tara, how were you supposed to be with someone as amazing as Natasha.

 You look at the letter sitting on the table and you see a simple typed out message.  “Our team wouldn’t be the same without you!  Thanks for making us so much better than we were.”  It isn’t signed and because it is typed you can’t tell who it is from.

 After taking a few minutes to look at the photo, you decide to put the sunflower in some water and the photo on your fridge.  You still feel like you are not enough, but the picture is nice to look at after all.

 __________

 Although the letter wasn’t signed you assume it was from Natasha. She has always been there for you and is a close friend.  You would love for it to be more, but you know that isn’t an option.  She is Natasha Romanoff and you were just you.

 Since the breakup you have been working hard to be better.  You have tried to lose weight and you are working double time to prove you are a valuable member of the team.  Tara was right, you are just “some person” on the Avengers.  You have never needed the accolades, but you want to make sure the team knows you can keep up and you will always have their back.

 You wake up early the morning after your mission and head to the gym. You spend about an hour running on the treadmill building up a good sweat then decide to hit some weights.

 About 10 minutes into lifting Natasha walks in the gym and sees you at the bench press. She is surprised to see you aren’t lifting as much as you usually do.  She notices how drenched your clothes are so she assumes you have been in the gym for a while already.

 “Morning Y/N, have a good workout?”

 “Yeah, just finished an hour on the treadmill and want to lift some weights before grabbing breakfast.”

 “An hour?  Y/N don’t you think that is a bit excessive?  And now you are adding weights? Damn girl, slow down.”

 You chuckle but choose to ignore her statement.  “Thanks for the flower and the photo, I had forgotten that photo was taken.”

 “Of course, just want to remind you how much we all love having you on the team.  That was a fun day getting to celebrate you.”  Natasha says hoping to remind you how much you are valued.

 You don’t respond for a moment while you think about what she said. As soon as you start to take the compliment you hear Tara’s voice reminding you that you will never be as valuable as Natasha, or as pretty.  You shake your head to try to rid the thought from your mind.

 Natasha sees you thinking and tries to figure out what is going on in your head.

 “I think I am going to head to breakfast, I will see you later Nat.” You say as you gather your belongings and leave without looking at her.

 “Oh, ok. Bye Y/N. Um, would you want to grab some lunch later?  We haven’t spent time together in a while and I miss hanging out with you.”

 “Sorry Nat, I can’t, I have to talk to Maria about an upcoming mission.”

 Natasha notices how you won’t look at her, so she decides to leave the gym and walk with you to the kitchen.

 “Y/N you are working yourself to the bone, you need to give yourself a break. Everyone on the team knows how hard you work, you don’t have anything to prove to us.”

 You keep your eyes forward trying to keep your emotions in without Natasha noticing.

 As you get to the kitchen you see it is empty so you decide to head to the counter and grab a banana before heading towards your room.

 “Please tell me you are going to eat more than a banana, especially after the workout you did this morning.”

 “I am fine Nat, just not that hungry,” you say as you walk toward your room.  You are not sure what Nat is getting at but it is starting to get on your nerves.

 “Y/N, please talk to me.  What is going on?  You are working like crazy, the team barely sees you anymore and if you are not working, you are in the gym.  Does this have anything to do with what your ex said to you?”

 “Nat, just stop!”  You say as you get to your room.  “I don’t need you looking over my shoulder all the time.  I said I am fine so just leave it. Okay?”

 Natasha is taken aback by your harsh tone and says, “okay.  I am just worried about you.  Ever since your relationship ended I don’t see you anymore and I am worried about you.  You look exhausted and I can tell you have lost weight.  I just want you to know I am here for you if you ever need to talk.”

 You sigh, “I appreciate it Nat, really I do.  I know I can come to you if I need to.”  You look at your watch and look back at Natasha, “I really have to go, I am meeting Maria in 30.”

 With that you walk into your room and close to the door.

 Natasha immediately pulls out her phone as she walks to her room.  “Hey Maria.  Huge favor.  I need you to come up with a reason for me to go on Y/N’s next mission.”

 “Ok” Maria responds without asking questions.  “Be at my office in 30 and I will brief you both.”

 “Thanks, see you then.”

 ___________

  To say you are confused why Natasha is coming on to this mission with you would be an understatement.  Maria initially told you it would be a simple in and out mission at an abandoned Hydra base. When she told you they got new intel about the base you became suspicious but didn’t want to say anything. Any chance to work with Natasha you took. She was amazing to watch in action everything was so fluid and she made it all look so easy.

When you arrive at the base you can’t help but feel a little run down. You haven’t been getting a lot of sleep between missions and Natasha was right, you weren’t eating enough so your energy was low.

 You are right behind her as you enter the base.  On first glance it seems abandoned, but the further you go into the building you hear a small group up ahead.  It sounds like four, maybe five, men at most. Not too hard to take down.

 You and Natasha share a glance and silently figure out how to approach the room.  You decide to draw them out and take them down a few at a time rather than stepping into a room full of unknowns.

 You open a door and shut it to draw their attention.  You can hear two guys saying they will check out the noise. When they are about 15 feet outside of the room you and Natasha strike.

 Natasha immediately takes down her guy, but it takes you a little bit longer.  The guy is able to get a decent punch to your face before you finally get the upper hand and take him down.  The noise draws the attention of the other three and before you know it all three are right in front of you.

 One guy focuses on you while the other two head to Natasha.  Just like the first guy, she takes them down with easy and isn’t even breathing heavy.  Once both her guys are down she watches you to make sure everything is okay.

 She sees you punch the man in the stomach but can tell it doesn’t have the same effect as your punches used to and you are breathing harder than normal. She is worried about you but knows now is not the time to bring it up.

 When your guy is on the ground unconscious, you both head to the room the men came out of and find multiple computers.  You split up and start working on collecting data from the few computers in the room.  Once you are done, you work on placing bombs around the building to destroy the facility.

 When you make it back to the quinjet, and everything has been detonated, you sit back in your chair and close your eyes while Natasha takes off. Once you are in the air, Natasha sets it on autopilot and turns to you.

 She takes a minute to look at you.  You have gotten smaller.  Your muscles aren’t as apparent as they used to be and you look so tired.  She is worried and decides to bring it up again while you are trapped with her and can’t hide away.  She cares too much about you to see you keep hurting yourself.

 “Want to explain to me what happened back there?”

 “What do you mean?”

 “Y/N, you were breathing heavy after taking down two guys.  You look exhausted and you have lost muscle.  What is going on with you.  Please talk to me.”

 You stare at her for a moment.  You are tired and you have lost muscle, but it just because, “I am just trying to be good enough,” you say quietly.

 “Good enough?  What do you mean good enough?”

 “You wouldn’t understand,” you mumble.

 “Try me.  Try to get me to understand because I am so worried about you.  You are not the woman you were a few months ago.  What happened to you?”

 “I am just trying to be good enough!” You yell.  Not at her, but at the world.  “I just want to be worthy,” you say quietly.

 “Y/N, please talk to me.  What do you mean?”

 “You wouldn’t understand Natasha.”  You say as you stand up and take a couple steps away from her. “You are perfect. You are beautiful and strong, and the Black Widow for Christ’s sake,” you say without turning around.

 “Natasha, I just want to be good enough.  Good enough to be on this team.  So yes, I am running myself ragged so I can prove to the world that I deserve to be here.”  

 You are desperately trying to hold back tears.  “Good enough to find a woman who will want to be with me.  I am trying to lose weight and be pretty enough so I won’t be left again but I am still not good enough.”  A tear slips from your eyes as you finish the last part of your sentence.

 Natasha watches as you close in on yourself and she can’t help but hate that woman even more for ever making you feel like you are anything but incredible. She gets up to stand behind you but doesn’t touch you for fear of you shutting down completely.

 “Y/N, I am so sorry someone ever made you feel like you were not good enough.  You are more than good enough.  You deserve to be on this team so much.  There are so many times you have saved another remember of this team during missions. You have made all our lives so much better.  Both in the field and at the compound.   You bring such joy to all of us.  You are so kind and so caring to everyone you meet.  You inspire me to be a better person everyday just so I feel like I am worthy enough for you.”

 She hesitantly decides to put her hands on your upper arms to get you to turn around to look at her because she wants to be looking in your eyes for what she says next.

“Y/N, you have to believe me when I tell you, you are one of the most perfect women I have ever met.  You are beautiful no matter what, but seeing you try so hard to change yourself these last few months has been so painful to watch.  In my eyes you were and are the perfect woman.”

 You try to stop the tears from falling but you can’t as Natasha forces you to keep looking in her eyes. She moves her hands to your cheeks and keeps going.

 “Y/N it is breaking my heart to see you try to change yourself.  Why do you want to lose weight? Y/N you have no weight to lose.  Every time you lose weight you are losing muscle. And God do you know how hard it is not to stare at you when you are in the gym.  You are so incredibly sexy when you workout.

 Watching your arms as you do bench press and imagining these arms wrapping around my waist and holding me close.  Don’t even get me started on when you work your abs.  I just want to hold you down and lick ever bit of your stomach and run my tongue over each muscle.  When you do squats all I can see are those strong legs wrapping around my waist as you lay beneath me begging me to do more.

 Y/N you are enough.  You are more than enough and if some stupid woman can’t see that, then she doesn’t deserve you.  She never treated you how you should be treated anyway.  God, Y/N, if you could see yourself through my eyes you would see there is no one else that compares to you.”

 “Nat, what are you saying?”

 “I am saying, give me one chance.  One chance to take you on a date and show you that you will always be good enough. I don’t care how you look, but I know how proud you were to be as strong as you were.  You worked so hard to get where you were.  Don’t let some tiny ass little woman make you think you need to lose weight. Because muscles like hers can’t take down a man twice her size without breaking a sweat.

 Watching you spar on the matt and take guys down on missions is like fucking foreplay to me.  You look however you want to look, Y/N.  But I know how much you miss the power you had before that bitch said all that to you.”

 You can see the determination Natasha has in her eyes as she speaks. You smile a teary smile as Natasha runs her thumb over your cheek to catch the tears. “Thank you, Natasha. How long have you felt this way?”

 Natasha lowers her head for a moment and when she raises it again you can see the pink tint on her cheeks.  “Long before you were ever with Tara,” she shyly admits.

 “Why didn’t you ever say anything?” you ask as you place your hands on her waist.

“Let’s just say you aren’t the only one who doesn’t think they are good enough.  I want to be better so I can be worthy of you.  I want to be worthy to call you mine.”

 “Oh Nat, you have always been worthy.  God, I have cared about you for so long.  I never though I stood a chance with you.  That is why I tried to find someone else.  No one is worthy of you Nat, least of all me.”

 “Don’t ever say that Y/N.  You are perfect inside and out.  You brighten my life by just being near me.”

 While she speaks, you slowly step closer so there is no space between you. As you both let sink in what the other has said you both lean in.  As Natasha looks at your lips, she takes one final look in your eyes to make sure you are okay with it.  When you nod she connects her lips with yours.

 Natasha can’t help the satisfied hum that escapes her mouth as she takes in the taste of you.  She moves her hands to the back of your neck to make sure you don’t stop, not that you want to.

 Your mind short circuits when her lips touch yours.  You have wanted this for so long and hearing that she wants it too makes it all the better.  

 After a few moments you pull back for air and slowly open your eyes.  As Natasha opens her eyes you immediately get lost in the sea of green.  You always thought she was amazing but hearing her say that you are more than good enough makes you fall for her even more.

 Natasha smiles as she, after so many months, sees the peaceful look back on your face.  She can’t help but stare at every inch of your perfect face.  She can’t believe that bitch ever thought she deserved you. You are nothing less than a queen.

 You wrap your arms around Natasha and bring her mouth back to yours as you run your hands up her back and tangle them in her hair.  The noise she makes as you kiss her spurs you on to deepen the kiss. You lick her bottom lip asking for permission.  When she opens her mouth, you are in heaven.  Jesus, if this is what it feels like to just kiss Natasha, you can’t imagine what it will be like to make love to her.

 Natasha pulls back and leans her forehead against yours as she catches her breath.  After a few moments she leans back and opens her eyes.  “So, what do you say.  Would you like to go on a date with me?”

 “Nothing would make me happier,” you say with a smile.

 _______________

 You and Natasha have been together for two months and you are starting to feel like your old self again.  You are on the bench press when Natasha walks into the gym for her morning workout. You finish your set and look up to see Natasha standing by the door staring at you.

 “Are you just going to stand there and stare or are you going to work out?” You say with a smile.

 Natasha shakes her head and walks over to you.  She looks at the weights and back at you, “That is an impressive amount of weight.  You are back to what you were lifting before.  How do you feel?”

 You take a deep breath as you stand and put your hand on her waist as she puts a hand on your upper arm.  You look back at the weights as you say, “I feel really good.  Thanks for helping me get out of my head, Nat.  It means more than you will ever know. And I know how much you missed these,” you jokingly say as you flex the arm she is holding.

 Natasha can’t stop herself from squeezing your bicep in appreciation. “Don’t get me wrong, these are very nice.  But what I really care about is right here,” she says as she places her other hand over your heart.  “Y/N, I just want you to be happy with yourself.  You are so incredible on the inside and out.  I don’t care how you look or how much you can lift.  As long as you love yourself.  I just want to see you happy and at peace.”

 You can’t stop the warmth running through your body with her words. “Nat, you have helped me to find my own self-worth.  Thank you so much for not letting me lose site of what I have. I love you so much Nat.”

 “I love you too baby.  I love seeing your confident side shine through, it makes you even sexier than you are already are.”

 “Is that right?”  You say as you reach down and pick Natasha up with the backs of her thighs so she wraps them around your waist.  “Is that all you think is sexy,” you say in a low voice with your lips just a breath away from hers.

 “Christ, Y/N,” Natasha gasps as she grabs the sides of your face to bring your lips to hers.  She kisses you senseless before pulling back for air.

 “What do you say we get in a nice cardio workout this morning instead of weights?”

 “I say that is a wonderful idea baby.  Don’t you dare put me down.”

 “I wouldn’t dream of it,” you say as you start making your way back to your room.

 Maybe one day you will find the words to tell Nat just exactly how much you love her, but for now you can settle for showing her.

+++++++++++++++

I hope you enjoyed.  Just a quick one shot that popped into my head.  As always please leave comments or suggestions as to what I can improve on.  If you have any ideas for one shots or longer stories, message me and let me know!!

[wildhoney32]

Patience is a Virtue (10/10)

2,501

Warning: Smut in the chapter.  If you don’t want to read stop at ****** and pick back up at *********

The elevator opens and you walk hand in hand towards your room.  Once the door to your room is closed, you don’t say anything as you turn to Natasha and slowly pull her towards you until her chest is pressed against yours.

 You grab the back of her neck and bring her in for a kiss.  You both start off slow and gentle as your hands run down her back.  You bring your hands to her waste and slowly walk her backwards until she is up against the wall.  She lets out a quiet moan that gets louder as soon as your lips attach to her neck.

 Her head falls back against the wall as she gives you more access. As you kiss and nip at her neck, your hands work their way to her back and down.  You can’t help but firmly squeeze her ass with both hands.  You have spent so long stealing glances at her backside when you are in the gym or, hell, pretty much whenever she is not looking.

 You groan when you feel how perfect it is.  You move your head down her neck until you reach her collarbone. ‘I am a genius for getting her a strapless dress.’ Christ, will you focus!

 You slowly lick her collarbone before reaching the base of her neck and sucking hard.  Natasha moans as she simultaneously puts a hand in your hair and arches her back off the wall.

 You move your hands from her ass to start pulling her dress up.  Once you deem it is high enough, you grab her upper thighs and lift her off the ground and back against the wall.  She quickly wraps her legs around you and brings your lips back to hers.

 This is more passionate and wanting.  You can’t help but grind into Natasha.  She pulls her lips from yours as she drops her head to yours and whimpers. After a bit more teasing from your hips, she opens her eyes and you can see her pupils blown with lust and her lips are so perfectly swollen.  You have no doubt you look exactly the same.

 “Bedroom, now,” she demands.

*****************************************************************************************

 You smile and carry her to the room as she sucks on your neck.  You have to stop your knees form buckling when she hits a particularly sensitive spot.  You moan as you grab her butt tightly.

 Once you reach the foot of the bed, you slowly set Natasha down.

 You take a moment to just look at her as you run your hand along her cheek and slowly down her neck.  As you slowly kiss Natasha, your right hand moves to the zipper at the back of her dress.

 Natasha shivers as you pull the zipper slowly down her body.  Once the zipper has reached the end, you move your head back and look her in the eyes.  You slowly pull her dress down her body, passed her hips until it falls to the ground.

 You run your eyes over her taking in all the beautiful curves and muscles.  You see various scars and are even more turned on because they show how strong and resilient, she is.  You feel lust for her run through your body and you can’t help the shiver that runs from head to toe.

 “You are stunning, Natasha,” you say as you run your hands up and down her arms.

 Without saying anything she steps forward and begins to pull the form fitting dress over your head.  She doesn’t look away from your Y/E/C eyes until she pulls the dress over your head.

 You drop your eyes slightly.  You can’t help but feel a bit self-conscious.  Obviously, you are in shape, you and an Avenger after all, it is pretty much part of your job. But you just don’t feel like you can compare to someone as beautiful as Natasha.

 Natasha sees your uneasiness and brings a hand up to your cheek to encourage you to look at her.  Once your eyes meet hers, she whispers, “Y/N, you are perfect.  I have yet to meet a woman as incredible and beautiful as you. You are everything I have ever wanted.  Inside and out.”

 A small smile appears on your face and she pulls you in for another kiss. When her tongue enters your mouth, you can’t help but groan. ‘God, this woman will be the death of me.’

 Not being able to control yourself anymore, you gently push her back, so she is laying on the bed.  The view of Natasha’s hair spread across the pillows while she is in nothing more than sexy lingerie is better than any dream.

 You kneel between her legs and hover above her.  Lowering your body so it is pressed against hers, you attack her lips in a passionate kiss as you lean on your left elbow and your right hand grabs her left thigh and brings it up to bend against your waist.

 Natasha leans her head back and arches her back as she moans, “Please Y/N, I can’t wait any longer, I need you.”

 Without responding you move your right hand behind her back and unhook her bra.  Once her breasts are free, you don’t hesitate to kiss down her chest.  You can feel Natasha watching, so before you take a nipple in her mouth you look up and as you make eye contact you lick and twirl your tongue around her peaked nipple.  She gasps as she puts her hand in your hair.

 You decide to stop teasing and, while still watching her, you put her nipple in your mouth and suck.  She can’t help but arch her back into you and close her eyes while releasing a groan.

 Natasha bucks her hips into your stomach to give her friction.  You feel her hips move and move your left hand to her core.  You groan and drop your head to her chest when you feel how soaked her panties are.

 Normally you like to be a shit and tease a little bit, but you have waited too long for this, you don’t have the patience.  As you scoot down the bed you look at her with a questioning look. All Natasha can do is nod her head.

 After taking off her heels and then yours, you slowly pull her panties down and off her legs.  You take a moment to just take in the woman in front of you.  You slowly run both your hands up her legs until they are just above her knees.  You can’t take you eyes off her core as you spread her legs apart.  When her legs are where you want them, you lay on your stomach with your face inches from her entrance.

 You start off by kissing around her core before you place a gentle kiss on her labia.  Encouraged by the moan Natasha lets out, you run your fingers over her vagina, collecting her wetness and spreading it to her clitoris.  “Baby, that feels amazing, but please, I need more,” Natasha whimpers and she grabs the sheets on either side of her.

 Granting her wish, you bring your lips to her clit and gently suck.  “Fuck, yes,” she moans.

 You swirl your tongue as you bring a finger up and circle her entrance.  Feeling she is ready you slowly enter her with a finger.  Natasha bucks at the entrance and the noises coming from her make you keep going.  You go slow to start as you search for the sweet spot inside.  

 After a few thrusts, you put two fingers in and begin to curl as you pull out. At that, Natasha puts her left hand in your hair and brings you closer.  You can feel Natasha getting closer and her walls are starting to constrict against your fingers.  After giving one long suck to her clit, you move your face above her and let your thumb replace your tongue.

 Natasha’s eyes are hooded and she is barely able to focus.  You move your head down so you can whisper in her ear, “I love you Natasha.  Having you in my arms is a dream.  Come for me.”

 A few more thrusts, the curl of your fingers and a twist of you thumb is all it takes for Natasha to wrap her legs tightly around you as sparks run through her body.  You continue to slowly move your fingers to drag out her pleasure as you watch her reactions.

 It takes a few moments for Natasha to come back down to earth.  You gently remove your fingers from her and the first thing she sees when she open her eyes is you sucking her juices off of your fingers.

 “You taste amazing my love.”

 Before you know what is happening you are on your back and Natasha has ripped off your bra.  You looked at her with a mix of shock and lust at her actions.  She blushes, not knowing if her actions scared you. You answer by wrapping your legs around her waist and forcing her chest on yours as you grab her head and kiss her senseless.

 Natasha quickly gets the upper hand again and removes your legs from her as she goes down and removes your panties.  She is too turned on to go slower and before you know what is happening, she is attacking your cunt with her mouth.

 “Fuck!  Nat, just like that,” you almost scream as your back leaves the mattress and your hands grab the sheets so hard you are surprised they don’t rip.

 Natasha doesn’t let up on you and continues to swirl her tongue in random patterns moving back and forth between your clit and vagina.

 She wraps her arms around your thighs and when her mouth goes to your entrance one hand swirls around your clit while the other moves up your body to roughly grab your breast.

 The assault Natasha is putting on your body is making you crazy. You know you are not going to last long.  Natasha’s tongue entering you, as her thumb presses on your clit, is the action that pushes you over the edge.  No, not pushes, violently throws you over the edge.  You don’t think you have had an orgasm this intense in your life.  Your right hand comes to your chest and you intertwine your fingers with Natasha as you ride out your orgasm.

 Through your haze, you feel Natasha pull away from you and flop next to you on the bed as both of you continue to breath heavy. You look over at Natasha and see her eyes closed with a smile on her face.

*****************************************************************************************

 “What are you smiling about beautiful?” you ask in between breaths.

 She opens her eyes and looks at you as she moves closer to you.  “I can’t remember the last time I was this happy.”

 You can’t help but return her smile, “Me either. You have made me happier than I can put into words.”

 “Thank you for not giving up on me.  On us.  Y/N without you in my life, I can say with 100% certainty that it would not be so full of happy memories. I am just sorry it took so long to get to this point.”

 “You mean, naked and sweating in bed after having mind blowing sex?”  You say with a laugh.

 “Well this was amazing, but I mean for me to see what I had right in front of me.”

 “We are here now, that is all that matters. Now I can spoil you so much more,” you say with a loving smile.  “Now come here and let me hold you while we sleep.  It has quickly become one of my favorite things in the world.”

 “Mine too.  I sleep so much better when I am held by you.  I haven’t slept this good in years.”

 After getting under the covers and turning off the lights, you let out a content sigh as you kiss Natasha’s hair, “I love you, Nat.”

 “I love you too, Y/N.  Goodnight baby.”

 “Goodnight, my love.”

 ________________

  You feel the sun on your face as you slowly come out of a sleepy haze.  Turning your head to the side, you see Natasha looking at you.

 “Are you being a creep and watching me sleep?”

 “Definitely,” she responds quietly with a smile on her face. “Last night was amazing Y/N.  I haven’t ever felt that loved.”

 “It was wonderful for me too, Nat.  I hope you always feel loved when you are with me. No matter what we do.”

 “What do you say we take a shower and you can make me feel that amazing again?”

 Without saying anything you get out of bed, gently grab Natasha’s hand and pull her to the bathroom with a smile on both your faces.

 After a long and blissful shower, you finally get out and start packing for the flight home.  When you are almost done, you hear a message come through on your phone.

 ‘I talked Stark into letting you use one of his jets for the trip home.  You are welcome ;)’ Wanda writes.

 ‘You are always looking out for me Wanda, thank you!’

 ‘How did everything go?  I assume good because you are both still there.’

 ‘It went better than I could have ever expected. Thank you, Wan, I know you played a huge part in getting her out here.’

 ‘I just helped to open her eyes a bit more to what was already there.  See you when you get home!’

 Natasha walks back in the bedroom and sees a smile on your face while looking at your phone. “Who are you texting?”

 “Wanda talked Tony into letting us use a jet for the ride home.”

 “That is wonderful.  I will definitely make sure to thank her when we get home,” Natasha says as she grabs her luggage from the bed and puts it on the ground.  “Ready to go back to home?”

 “Yeah, I think so.  Thanks for exploring Greece with me Nat.  I had an amazing time.”

 “It was my pleasure.  There is nowhere else I want to be than by your side.”

 You hold hands as you leave the hotel room and head to meet the car.  The car pulls up to the jet already waiting on the runway. 

 As the plane takes off, you and Natasha take one final look at the beautiful landscape of Greece.  You can’t help but wonder what life will be like when you get back to the tower.

 Before long, you each settle back in the over sized seats and cuddle next to each other.  Soon enough you realize you are too warn-out from the last few months to worry to much about the future right now.  Natasha is by your side and right now, that is all that matters.

++++++++++

I had such a great time writing this!  Thank you to everyone who read and to those who commented, it means so much.  If anyone has any ideas for another story please message me and let me know.  I don’t have any other ideas right now but I am always looking to write about Natasha and would love to hear from you.  I hope you all have a wonderful holiday weekend!

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[wildhoney32]

Patience is a Virtue (9/10)

2,321

As you begin to wake up you feel a calmness you have never felt.  You feel the warmth of a body pressed against your front.  You slowly open your eyes and immediately see a head of beautiful red hair.  The smile that crosses your face can’t be stopped as you think back to the night prior and Natasha’s words.

 God, you can’t believe you are here.  You came to Greece to move on and now you are lying in bed with the woman you love.  You watch as the sun hits her hair and her skin just right and you can’t help but stare.

 After a few moments of enjoying the beauty that is in front of you, you decide to sneak into the kitchen and make coffee and order breakfast. You are able to sneak out of the room quietly and close the bedroom door.  After calling room service, you start the coffee.

 While you are waiting you head to the balcony and watch the sun slowly ascend over the sea.  You close your eyes and breath in the sea air and feel the warmth on your skin.  About 10 minutes later you feel two arms wrap around your waist and a forehead rest between your shoulder blades.

 You can’t help but smile and slowly turn in Natasha’s arms as you turn around and gently hold her waist.  Once you see the sun hit Natasha’s face it takes your breath away.  “Good morning beautiful.  How did you sleep?” you quietly ask while running a hand through her soft locks.

 “I can’t remember a time when I have slept more peaceful in my life,” she hums back.

 She turns her head and places it on your chest as you both look out towards the sea.  You stay there until you hear a knock at the door.  “Breakfast is here,” you say when Natasha gives you a confused look. “Coffee is ready,” you say before giving her a gentle kiss and reluctantly pulling away to get the food.

 Once the food is brought in, Natasha hands you a coffee cup.  After taking a small sip you look at her surprised because it is just how you like it.  

 “You aren’t the only one who paid attention,” Natasha says.

 You begin to chuckle, “I have a feeling there is still a lot more I get to learn about you and I can’t wait.”

 You move the plates to the table and set a plate full of blueberry pancakes down in front of her.

 Natasha just smiles as she picks up her fork and takes a bite. After swallowing she hums in delight and looks at you.

 “I thought you deserved to splurge and have your favorite breakfast.”

 “Thank you, Y/N.  It is wonderful.”

 After eating, you both decide to head into Athens and spend the day site seeing.  You enjoy lunch at a small café down a small back alley hidden away from the busy streets. Hours later you enter the room and decide to shower before relaxing on the couch with a movie.

 Staying true to your word you shower separate before meeting on the couch. Natasha snuggles up next to you and you wrap an arm around her to bring her closer.

 As she is trying to decide which movie to watch you lean your head closer to hers and quietly ask, “What would you like to do tomorrow?”

 Natasha stops to think and turns to you and says, “How about a relaxing day on the beach.  I am exhausted after today.”

 “It might be a bit cool , but the beach sounds wonderful.”

 About an hour into the movie, Natasha has moved to rest her head on your lap. You look down to see she is sleeping and gently begin to run your hand through her hair.  She hums quietly and moves a bit while keeping her eyes closed.

 After the movie, you see Natasha is sleeping soundly.  You don’t want to disturb her and gently move off the couch before leaning down and picking her up in your arms. She puts her head on your chest but doesn’t wake up.  You gently lay her in bed and tuck her in before going to turn off all the lights and sliding in next to her.

 A few moments after you turn the lights off Natasha subconsciously scoots closer to you and wraps her arms around your waists.  You smile down at her before closing your eyes and drifting off to another peaceful sleep.

 _________________

The next few days with Natasha are amazing to say the least. Your day on the beach was peaceful and relaxing.  The weather in Greece is unusually warm for late January and you and Nat take full advantage of it.  Living through New York winters for so many years made any temperature above freezing feel warm to you.

 When you lay eyes on Natasha wearing the swimsuit she bought, you stop breathing for so long she is worried you might pass out.  When she shakes you to get your attention you inhaled so audibly you draw the attention of a few people close by.

 You blush deeply while Natasha just laughs and says she is flattered.  “Well if you weren’t so amazing, I wouldn’t be stuck staring.”

 “So this is my fault, Y/N,? “

 “I am so glad you understand, baby.”

 You don’t realize what you say until Natasha gets quiet and does her own staring at you. “What?” you ask.

 “You just called me baby.”

 “Is that not ok Nat?  I am sorry it just slipped out. I don’t have to call you that if you don’t feel comfortable with it—” Natasha silences you with a kiss.

 “No, it was perfect.”

 “Ok then, babe,” you say quietly keeping your lips a breath away from hers.

 The rest of the day is spent laying out, and drinking cocktails while laughing together.  You love how simple and easy it is between you two.  The lulls in conversation are peaceful, not uncomfortable.

 The next few days were spent seeing sites in the city and countryside, discovering little mom and pop restaurants that serve the most amazing food.

 On the final night in Greece, you decide to spoil Natasha a little bit. You are able to sneak out of the hotel while Natasha was taking a nap a few days ago and make arrangements at a beautiful restaurant overlooking the sea.  You were also able to find you each a dress that fit the occasion. You asked the store to bring them to your hotel the final day.

 After spending the morning cuddling in bed, you and Natasha stay near the hotel and visit a small coffee shop you discovered while you were gathering intel.   You introduced Natasha to the owners and you both found a small table to sit and enjoy coffee.

 After walking around a small market, you decide to head back to the room and take it easy for your final night.  Or at least that is what you said to get back to the hotel.

 While you are in the bathroom, you hear a knock at the door.  Knowing Natasha is on the balcony reading you yell, “Hey babe, can you grab the door please?”

 “Got it.”

 You listen for the door opening and you can hear talking but can’t make out what they are saying.  Once the door closes, you make your way out of the bathroom and see Natasha standing in the middle of the main room holding two knee length dresses.  

 When she hears you coming, she looks at you, “Y/N what is all this?”

 “Well, I thought maybe we could go a bit fancy for our final night here. I found a lovely little place with a great view and a wonderful menu.  So what do you say Nat, will you do me the honor of being my date for dinner?”

 “I would love that, Y/N,” she says as she walks towards you and kisses you. “These dresses are beautiful. Where did you find them?”

 “In a small boutique a few blocks away.  The young woman was very helpful.”

 “I can’t wait to wear this,” she says as she looks at the strapless cobalt blue dress, “and I can’t wait to see you in this” she says as she looks at Y/F/C single strap dress.

 “Well I hope I can only compare to how beautiful you will look tonight,” you say as you take the dresses from her and put them in the closest.

 For the rest of the day you enjoy the quiet on the balcony as Natasha reads her book.  At 6 you begin to get ready for your reservations at 8.

 The restaurant was only a short distance away but Natasha was surprised when a private car pulled up.  “Wow, you really did decide to spoil me,” she said as you both get in the vehicle.

 “I didn’t want to use a work car to take such a wonderful woman to dinner.”

 Natasha grabs your hand between the two of you and keeps them together for the duration of the ride.  You spend the ride looking at different architecture and commenting on the beauty.

 Once there, you walk in and Natasha sees there can’t be more than 10 tables in the whole place.  The hostess quickly shows you to your seat in the corner of he balcony, away from the other tables. You order a bottle of the best red they have.  Once you order, you look at Natasha and see her looking at you with love in her eyes.

 “Y/N, thank you for this week.  I can’t tell you enough how wonderful it has been.  This has been one of the best trips of my life.  I am so glad we got to see Greece together.”

 “I am so glad you came, Nat.  I still can’t believe you took Wanda’s spot to be with me.  I have spent so much time dreaming about this.  This has been the best week of my life so far. I love you Natasha.  I plan to make so many more memories with you.”

 “I love you too, Y/N,” she says back as she takes your hand and holds it on top of the table.

 You have shown her you love her, but this was the first time you and Natasha have told each other you love the other.  As you are looking into each other eyes, you feel her run her foot slowly and gently up the inside of your calf.  You close your eyes and take a deep breath to ground yourself. Jesus. This woman is going to be the death of us.  ‘I couldn’t agree more,’ you think to yourself as you open your eyes and look back at her as you bite your lower lip.

 Throughout the week you have been teasing each other with small touches and caresses as you cuddle on the couch or pass by each other in the hotel room.  You have done your best to control yourselves but the way Natasha is looking at you right now, you know you are going to struggle through this meal.

 As the food arrives, Natasha lets go of your hand and smiles at the waiter as if that silent exchange never happened.  You look at her and silently say, ‘you are evil.’  Without having to say anything Natasha knows exactly what she just did to you and sends you a flirtatious wink as you narrow your eyes and shake your head before chuckling.

 Conversation picks back up through dinner and you enjoy a small dessert and cup of coffee before deciding to head back.  When you walk outside you see the car pull up. As you head to open the door for Natasha she holds your hand and says, “It is not too cold out and there is not a cloud in the sky.  What do you say to walking back and enjoying the area before we leave?”

 “That sounds perfect,” you say.  After telling the driver you won’t be needing him, you and Natasha walk arm and arm slowly back to your hotel.

 “Thank you again for dinner, Y/N, it was lovely.”

 “Of course, Nat, anything for you. I have found myself pinching my arm throughout the week making sure this is actually real.  I can’t believe you are by my side right now and I don’t have to hide how I feel.”

 “Y/N, you say that like I don’t feel the same way about you.  I look back and regret so much of the time we have missed together because I was an idiot.  Being hit with the realization that I am so in love with you was one of the best moments for me.  I only hated that I couldn’t run to your room and tell you that minute.  I feel just as blessed to have you with me. Please don’t ever forget that you are incredible and deserve only the best.”

 As you walk into the hotel you wave at the concierge behind the desk and walk towards the elevator.  When the doors close you turn to face Natasha and slowly bring a hand to her cheek, “I love you.  So much.”

 “I love you too, Y/N”

 You both lean in for a passionate kiss.  Natasha suddenly breaks the kiss and looks at you.  Both breathing heavy.  “I know you said you want to do this the right way to show me how much you care.  But Y/N, you have shown me every day for years how much you care about me.”  You look into her eyes and can see nothing but love as she quietly says, “Please love, take me to bed.”

 You whisper back, “Are you sure.”

 “Yes, so sure.  I have told you I love you. Now let me show you.”

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[wildhoney32]

Patience is  Virtue (8/10)

2,318

The ride over to the hotel is quiet.  You are lost in thought about why Natasha is here instead of Wanda and what it all means. While Natasha is trying to think of the best way to start a conversation about her feelings and where to go from here.

 After you check into the hotel you realize Wanda booked a suite. As soon as you walk in the room you are greeted with a large open living area with a small bar/kitchen to the right and a large bedroom, with only one bed, off to the left.  ‘I am going to kill you Wanda,’ you think to yourself as soon as you see the bed.

 You see your bags have already been brought over from the abandoned building you have been staying in.  To say this is an upgrade is an understatement.  You see French doors leading to a balcony which you assume has an incredible view of the Aegean Sea.

 While you are looking out the window, Natasha quietly comes up beside you and once again looks at the wound on your shoulder.  “Why don’t you go shower, it will help clean the wound out before I patch it up.  I will make us some drinks,” Natasha quietly says.

 “Yeah, that sounds good.  It has been awhile since I have had a decent shower.”

 You grab your bag and head into the huge bathroom that is attached to the bedroom.  Even though you were excited to get a nice hot shower for the first time in a few months, you stay in longer than necessary to think about how to handle the situation with Nat. ‘Should I ask her about Jessica, or play it safe and avoid it?’  You finally have a chance with Natasha, and you want to avoid it.  You are an Avenger damnit. Act like one.  ‘Fine but if this backfires I am blaming you. Whatever, you are standing in a shower arguing with yourself instead of talking to the woman you have been in love with for longer than you want to admit.

After getting out of the shower you put on loose sweats and a black tank top before heading back out into the main room.

 When Natasha hears you, she turns around with Y/F/D and hands it to you while she takes a sip of vodka.

 “Take a seat, I will get this wound patched up real quick.”

 “Thanks Nat, I appreciate it.”

 Natasha had already gotten the first aid kit from your bag while you were in the shower.  She sat on a chair next to you with her legs spread on either side of the chair to be able to get closer to you.  While she starts working on your shoulder you decide to be bold, “So, Wanda told me you and Jessica broke up.  Are you doing okay?”

 “Yeah, it was my decision.  I realized we had nothing in common and I couldn’t be with someone who was so self-absorbed.”

 “Well I hope you find someone who makes you happy, you deserve the world, Nat.”

 As Natasha finishes putting gauze on your shoulder, she lets her fingers linger on your skin for a few seconds longer.  You try your hardest to stay calm, but you can’t stop the goosebumps from appearing where she touches you.

 She looks at you silently as you take deep breaths.  You slowly open your eyes and turn look at Natasha.  You make eye contact and can’t help but get lost in the sea of green.  “Why are you here Nat? Steve told me Wanda was coming on this mission, what happened?” You quietly ask.

 “We were sparing, and I accidentally twisted her wrist too much. She couldn’t come on the mission, she needed time to heal.”

 “You and I both know you have never accidentally done anything.  So, what really happened?”

 Natasha sighs, “Wanda told me to twist her wrist so I would replace her on this mission and give us a chance to talk.”

 “That little meddler,” you say with a quiet chuckle.

 “Y/N, I am so sorry it took me so long.  You have treated me better than anyone ever has yet I still reached for someone else.  Even then, you treated me better than I deserve.”

 “Like I said Nat,” you cut in, “you have always, and will always deserve the world.  I am just sorry Jessica couldn’t see that and treat you right.”

 “Do you mean that?  You wish Jessica treated me better, so we stayed together?  Is that what you want?”  Natasha asked you quietly still sitting a breath apart from each other.

 You sigh as you stand up and walk a few feet and turn around to look at Natasha who stays seated.  “No, I don’t want that.  I disliked her from the moment I met her.  She used you for your name.  She never saw the light you hold in your heart.”  

 You pause before continuing.  ‘Now or never Y/L/N’, “I was jealous every time she got to take you out. I was jealous when she was the one you kissed and not me.  I hated how she called you hot.  You aren’t hot, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on.  I hated how I would see her in the morning because that meant she was the one who got to hold you at night.  I hated how I didn’t have the courage to tell you how I felt the moment I knew it.  I hated every moment you were with her because I know she never treated you like the precious gift you are.  I hated her Nat.”

 You wait for Natasha to say something, but she just looks at you.  You think she has tears in her eyes, but you aren’t sure.

 ‘Time to go for broke.’

 “Natasha, when Wanda called me and told me you and Jessica broke up, I got hope.  I came on this damn mission because I couldn’t stand to see you two together. I came because I told myself I needed to get over my feelings for you and be okay with only being your friend. But I can't.  I will never be able to see you as only a friend, not when I want to give you so much more.”

 You take a step closer to her, “Nat, if you give me a chance, I will do everything in my power to treat you like the incredible woman you are. Let me spoil you and show you how you should be treated.  Let me love you.”

 When you are done, you inhale deeply and wait for Natasha to respond. The entire time you were talking you could see tears building in her eyes.  After a few minutes of her not moving or saying anything, you feel your heart break.  ‘Did I just overload her with emotions?  Did I just ruin the best friendship I have ever had?  She said I treated her better than anyone else.  Did she only mean as a friend?’

 After another minute of Natasha staring at you, you exhale and drop your head.  You don’t have enough courage to look at her right now.  You used it all up when you confessed your feelings for her.

 You turn to walk towards the balcony when you feel Natasha grab your arm.

 “Y/N, please don’t take my silence as rejection.  It is far from it.”

 You slowly turn towards her and look in her eyes.  She takes your other hand, “I didn’t say anything because I didn’t know what I could possibly say that would even come close to as beautiful as what you said.  All I can say is, please forgive me?”

 You give her a confused look and step towards and placing your hand on her upper arm.

 “Please forgive me for being so blind.  Please forgive me for not seeing what I had right in front of me. You have always been the first person I think to call when something happens, good or bad.  You treat me better than I have ever been treated and I still reached for another person when the perfect person was right in front of me.  Forgive me for taking so long to listen to my heart and to see that all I have ever wanted was right here.”  She slowly puts her hand over your heart, and you can’t take it anymore.  Your calm exterior cracks and you begin to cry.

 “Natasha, what are you saying?”

 “I am saying, if you give me a chance, I would like to give you everything you have already given me.  Let me spoil you.  Let me show you how amazing and irreplaceable you are.”  Natasha takes one final step closer and puts the hand that isn’t on your heart on your cheek.  You are chest to chest when Natasha looks at you and whispers, “Let me love you, Y/N.”

 At that you release a sob and smile bigger than you have ever smiled before. You can’t help the few tears that escape your eyes that Natasha quickly wipes away before putting her hand back to rest on your cheek.  You place one hand over hers on your face while the other hand goes to hold her waist.

 “Are you sure about this Natasha?  I just have to make sure this is real.  I can’t handle being a rebound.”

 “Y/N, you have never, and will never, be a rebound.  I want this more than anything.  You make me laugh more than anyone I know, and there is not a person on this earth that makes me feel safer than I am with you.  I want you for as long as you will have me.”

 “Then I hope you are ready to spend a very long time with me,” you say as you smile and lean in towards her.

You stop right before you touch her lips and look in her eyes just to be sure.  When you see nothing but love, you close the distance and kiss the lips of the woman you have so long dreamed about being with.

 The kiss isn’t hurried but it is full of love for one another.  When you finally part you lean your forehead against hers and smile.  ‘Definitely the best kiss I have ever had, and better than I could have ever imagined.’

 “I was thinking that exact same thing,” Natasha says with a smile as you pause and realize you just said that out loud.

 All you can do is laugh.  “Normally I am much better at keeping my thoughts in my head.”

 “I have heard that from Wanda, it sounds like it is quite entertaining to listen to,” Natasha says while laughing.

 You lift your forehead and look at Natasha, “She told you about that!? Oh, she is so dead when we get home.”

 “Well you will get your revenge soon enough.  We are due back tomorrow.”

 “About that,” you say as Natasha quirks her brow.  “I may have asked Steve to let us stay for a little bit longer to wrap up everything and enjoy Greece.”

 “There is nothing else in the case to wrap up, Y/N,” Natasha says while giving you a smirk.

 You smile as you wrap your arms fully around her bringing her closer and whisper, “Yeah, but Steve doesn’t know that.”

 “Y/N, did you lie to Steve to spend more time with me?”

 “I only asked for a few extra days and he gave us an entire week.  We always talked about seeing Greece together. So, what do you say Nat, you want to explore this gorgeous country with me?”

 “That sounds amazing.”

 “Good but for now we should get some sleep.  And it appears there is a very large, and I am guessing comfy bed, waiting for us.”

 Natasha gives you a sultry look and you can’t help the shiver that runs down your spine.  ‘My God, this woman is going to be the death of me.’

 “As much as I want to do just what you’re thinking, do you think tonight I could just hold you in my arms?”  Natasha’s smile softens at your words.  “I want to do this the right way and not jump in too fast.  I have every intention of wooing you Ms. Romanoff.  I plan on earning your heart.”

 “You have already earned my heart, Y/N,” she says softly.  “Sleeping in your arms tonight sounds heavenly.” She moves her head closer to give you a soft kiss.  As she begins to pull away, you put your hand in her hair and bring her lips back to yours. You can’t help but deepen the kiss. You softly bite her lower lip and take advantage of her gasp by moving you tongue into her mouth.

 She wraps her hands around your neck and brings you impossibly closer. You run your other hand slowly up her back and smile into the kiss when you feel a shiver run up her spine.

 After a few moments of tasting her, you slowly lean back, “I don’t think I will ever get tired of that,” you say as you try to clear your head of the fog Natasha created.

 “I agree,” she responds breathing heavy.

 Natasha slowly backs away while taking your hand in hers and walking toward the bedroom.

 After both of you are done getting ready for bed, you get under the sheets.  Natasha looks at you and smiles as she moves closer to you to give you one final kiss goodnight before resting her head on your chest.  She wraps her arm around your waist and moves her leg in between both of yours.  Her body is pressed against your side as you give her a kiss on her hair. You close your eyes as you wrap your arms around her with a smile on your face.

Tag list: @username23345

[wildhoney32]

Patience is a Virtue (7/10)

3,890

Natasha gives herself a few days to think everything over.  She doesn’t want to just immediately tell you what she has realized.  She just ended her relationship with Jessica.  She also knows you overheard her tell Jessica she loved her.  ‘God why did I even say it.  I didn’t mean it.’ Natasha thinks.  

She didn’t want you to think you were some rebound. She wanted to make sure you know how much you mean to her.  You have spent so long making Natasha feel special without her ever doing the same for you.  It was time she changed that.

She walks towards Wanda’s room and is about to knock when she hears Wanda say your name.  “Y/N, I seriously can’t believe you have been gone for three months already. When are you going to be home?”

 Natasha can’t hear any response and realizes she is on the phone with you.  ‘I thought she had limited communication during her mission and couldn’t call?’ Natasha thinks.  She is hurt that you lied to her.  Did you not want to talk to her?  Is she too late, did she wait too long?

 “Well how is everything else going with you? How are you doing with moving on?”

 Silence.

 “Y/N, I know you want to hold out hope, but sweety she is in a committed relationship, and you deserve to be happy too.  Just keep working at it.”

 Silence.

 “That is great to hear!  So if you finish up early, are you going to come home or are you going to take some vacation time and enjoy Greece?”

 Silence.

 “I think that is wonderful. Seriously you and Natasha are the only two that could turn a  six month long mission into a three  or four month long mission.  Well I am jealous you will get to spend some time on the beach but I also miss you like crazy so hurry up and get home.”...... “Ok sounds good, love you too sis. Bye.”

 When Natasha doesn’t hear Wanda talking anymore, she knocks on the door.  Wanda opens the door a few moments later and before Wanda can even say hi Natasha blurts out “Jessica and I broke up.”

 Wanda looks at her surprised for a minute before saying, “Oh my goodness, tell me what happened” as she ushers Natasha into her apartment and to the couch.

 After a few moments Wanda asks, “Are you okay Natasha?”

 “Yeah, I am fine.  I am the one who ended it.  I just realized we never did anything I wanted to do in the relationship. Everything was about making her happy. I am also pretty sure the main reason she was with me was to use my name to get into fancy places around the city.”

 “Well if she didn’t treat you like you deserved then I am glad you ended things.”

 “I have also started to see all the amazing things Y/N has done for me over the years.  I feel like I have been so blind.”

 “She is a wonderful person and always puts others before herself.”

 “Wanda…. I am too late?”

 “Too late for what, Nat?”

 “Did I take too long to see how amazing Y/N is? Did I miss my chance to make her mine?”

All Wanda can do is gasp when she hears Natasha say she wants to be with you.  

 “Wanda, I have spent so much time the last few days thinking about all the incredible things Y/N has done for me and I can’t believe I have been so blind.  I wish she would have said something to me.”

 Wanda stays quiet for a few moments debating whether she should break your trust and tell Natasha everything or to not say anything and let two of her friends stay miserable.

 ‘Screw it.’

 “Natasha, Y/N has wanted to be with you pretty much since you two met.  But according to her, you are out of everyone’s league and she never thought she stood a chance with you.  When you started dating Jessica, she got jealous and couldn’t even bring herself to be around you two.  You and I both know she would never have said anything while you were with Jessica. She might have been miserable, but she would never do anything to break up your relationship.  When she heard you tell Jessica you love her, she decided she had to move on.  Then she heard Jessica tell you to stay away from her.  That is why she took this mission.  Maria didn’t assign it to her, she volunteered to take it.”

 Natasha is devastated.  “I didn’t even really mean it when I told Jessica I love her. I was just so confused.  She took a mission just to get away from me because she thought I would be happy with Jessica.  I can’t believe she would do that for me.”  

 “Nat, the woman is in love with you, there isn’t anything she wouldn’t do for you.  God, you should hear the way she talks about you, she is in deep.”   Wanda says with a chuckle.

 “Really, what did she say?  If you don’t mind me asking.”  Natasha shyly asks.

 “I think it is better to show you.”  With that Wanda moves closer to Natasha and put her hands on Natasha’s temples.  Within seconds Wanda shows her different conversations the two of you have had about Natasha.

 She starts with the quinjet ride to Madrid.

 “I know I need to work on getting over my jealousy, but I just can’t help seeing them together.  It is a constant reminder of how I waited too long to make a move with Nat.”

 “She is the first thing I think about when I wake up and I struggle falling asleep just knowing she is in bed with Jessica instead of me.  We are best friends, but I don’t think she looks at me as anything other than her sarcastic, immature friend.  She just makes me feel so free and happy when I am with her.  Like all the mistakes I have made in my life don’t matter because she is by my side.”

 “I have planned out so many dates I think Nat would love that I have lost count.  When I go out and see something new, I can’t help but wonder if she would like it too. I want to call her and tell her about it but then I have to remind myself she is not mine.”

 “I have been on a few dates and tried flirting with girls in bars. But all I think about it how they compare to Nat and that is not fair to them.”

 “But come on, it is Natasha fucking Romanoff, she is out of everyone’s league.  I could never stand a chance with her.”

 Next Wanda takes her to a conversation in your room….

 “Whether she believes it or not, she deserves to have everything she wants.   If that includes some obscure Russian tea, then so be it.  I just hope Jessica starts to realize that soon.  I am sick of seeing her dragging Nat around to only places she wants to go.”

 Natasha is overwhelmed with emotion as she listens to you talk about her.

 Finally, Wanda takes her to the conversation you had with her and Clint in your room…

 “She said we are nothing more than friends.  I just don’t want to put Nat in a situation where she has to choose between a relationship and a friend.  She is finally happy in a relationship and I am not going to do anything to spoil that.  As much as it hurts me to stand by.  If she is happy, I am happy.”

 Natasha has tears falling down her face when Wanda brings her back to the present.  “Please. Wanda, please help me fix this.  I have to tell her how I feel before it is too late.”

 “I will help in any way I can.  I just need you to be sure this is what you want.  Do you truly want to be with Y/N or are you just overwhelmed by all the nice things she has done for you?  I ask because I can’t stand to see my friend go through more heartache over you Natasha.”

 “I am sure Wanda.  I am so sure that Y/N is the one for me.  I am at my happiest when I am with her.  Even when I thought I was happy with Jessica, I was still the happiest when I was with Y/N.  She makes me feel better than anyone I have ever met.”

 “Ok then, I will do what I can.  Let me think about the best way to go about it and I will let you know.”

 “Thank you, Wanda. For not only helping me, but for showing me what Y/N said.  I want to make her as happy as she has made me.”

 When Natasha leaves her room, Wanda picks up her phone and tries to call you.  When there is no answer, she decides not to wait and sends a text.

 “Natasha broke up with Jessica.”  A few minutes later you respond.

 “HOLY SHIT!  When did this happen? Is Natasha okay?”

 “Y/N, it was her choice.  She is doing well.  She finally realized Jessica wasn’t the one for her.  She came to her senses and saw someone else is much better for her.”

 “What are you saying Wanda?”

 “I am saying all your gifts have made Natasha see how much you care.”

 “Don’t fuck with me Wanda.  Are you saying I could actually stand a chance with the woman I love?”

 “I would never ‘fuck with you’.  I am saying, after just talking to Natasha, she is yours to lose.”

 “Christ, Wanda, I can’t believe I finally have a shot.”

 “Y/N, like I said, you have always had a shot, you just needed to be patient.  Go get your girl.”

 “WHY THE FUCK DID I TAKE THIS MISSION?!?!?!?!”

 Wanda laughs when she sees your response and decides not to answer.  She has done enough.  It is time for you and Natasha to figure it out from here.

 _____________________

 You sit in shock for a few minutes after texting with Wanda.  ‘What happened with Jessica?  Why did Natasha decide to end it now, I thought she loved her?  Am I only going to be a rebound?’  How about you stop asking questions and do the adult thing and call her?  ‘Ugh shut up, I am going to call her.  I am just trying to process everything.  Is this really a conversation I want to have over the phone?’  You have a point.  This is not a phone conversation.

 You are brought out of your thinking when you see movement across the street.  You have been stuck in an abandoned building since you arrived monitoring an arms dealer who has decided to up his game into large weapons.  You get behind the camera and desperately try to focus on the mission. The sooner you get this done, the sooner you will be able to go home.  To your girl?  ‘Fuck I don’t know.  Ugh this is going to suck.’  Well focus and finish this up like an Avenger and get home.  ‘You’re right, got it.’

 _____________

 Two weeks after Wanda texted you about Natasha, she is still trying to figure out a way to help you both.  Having you gone has definitely put a damper on any idea.  Although she is glad neither of you have tried to talk over the phone.  You both needed time to think and this is a major conversation.  She is just happy that for once in your life you are going about this the mature way.  ‘I can’t even imagine the internal conversations she is having with herself right now.’

 She is still laughing thinking about it when she enters the gym.

 “Morning Wanda, what are you so happy about today?”  Natasha asks from the punching bag when she sees her enter.

 “Just thinking about Y/N and the conversations she likes to have with herself in her head.  They are quite entertaining to listen to.”  Wanda laughs.

 Natasha just smiles.  “So, um, have you talked to her recently?”  She tries to ask casually.

 Wanda chuckles, “Smooth Nat.  I have texted with her a bit, sounds like she is working  double time to get this mission done and get home.  I wonder why?”

 “So, I take it you told her.”

 “I told her you and Jessica broke up and you have started to realize she goes a little above and beyond to befriends.  Anything else is for you two to work out.  Want to spar?  I could always use some work on hand to hand combat.”

 “Yeah of course.”  Natasha says while moving from the bag to the mat in the center of the room.

 After about 30 minutes of Natasha teaching Wanda new techniques on different take downs, Steve walks into the gym.  

 “Hey Wanda, I just spoke with Y/N, sounds like she is getting ready to finish up her mission but needs a hand with the final take down, I am sending you in to help her.  You leave tomorrow.”  He says as he heads over to the bench.

 Suddenly Wanda is struck with an idea. “Sounds good Steve.”

 ‘I need you to twist my wrist just a bit too much.  Not enough to break it, but enough to have me not go on this mission.’  Wanda telepathically tells Natasha.

 Natasha looks at her confused.  ‘Trust me.’  Wanda says.

 Natasha just nods.  They spar for a few more minute while Steve does bench press.  Natasha shares a look with Wanda and Wanda nods.  Natasha takes Wanda’s arm and twists it behind her back.

 Suddenly Wanda grunts loud enough in pain to draw Steve’s attention. Steve sets the bar on the rack and rushes over to Wanda and Natasha.

 “Wanda are you okay?”

 “I think so Steve, Natasha and I were just sparring and I think I got my wrist in a weird angle and twisted it too much.”

 Steve looks at Natasha confused.  “You have never hurt anyone in sparring before, what happened?”

 “I lost my footing for a second and it caused me to twist her wrist just a bit too much.”

 “I am fine Steve, but I think I should go get it checked out by Dr. Cho.  I may not be able to meet Y/N though.”

 Steve pauses to think while Wanda stares at Natasha and tilts her head towards Steve.  It suddenly clicks for Natasha and she says, “Wanda I am so sorry for hurting your wrist. Steve I would be more than happy to step in for Wanda and help Y/N.  My way of repaying Wanda for hurting her.  That way Wanda can rest.”

 “Yeah, sure, that sounds like a good idea.  Come see me at 1400 to go over the details for tomorrow.”  At that Steve heads back to the bench and Wanda winks at Natasha while she walks over to get her stuff and head to medical.

 Natasha tries to hide a smirk as she watches Wanda leave. ‘That witch really knows what she is doing’ Natasha thinks to herself.

 ‘I know’ Natasha suddenly hears in her head. She looks up and sees Wanda smile and wave as she leaves.

 ___________

  You spoke with Steve two days ago and he said he would be sending Wanda to help you close everything out.  After you got off the phone, you couldn’t help but be sad he didn’t send Natasha.  Of course, you are happy to see Wanda, but you are dying to see Natasha at this point.

 You are loading your suit with weapons as you get ready to enter the gang’s headquarters. You and Steve decided, based on the intel you gained, that a stealth entrance with two Avengers will be fine.  You have seen over the last few months that these guys aren’t as skilled as once thought and are definitely in over their heads in the arms game.

 Steve and you talked about your approach.  You will not see Wanda until you have already entered the facility, she will be coming in a different way.  As soon as the mission starts the three of you will link up comms.

 Once it is totally dark you head to the roof of the building.  There aren’t any other occupied buildings around, so you don’t have to worry about outside people seeing.  You plan to enter from the roof, while Wanda enters from a back-alley door.  You will work your way down as she works her way up.

 You get in position and turn you comm on.  You immediately check in with Steve.  “I am in position and ready to enter.”

 “Copy. Widow, what is your position?”

 ‘Wait, Widow?  Did I just hear that right?’

 “I am in position in the back alley and ready to enter at Y/L/N’s go?”

 ‘Holy shit, it is her.  You would recognize that sultry voice anywhere.’

 “Y/L/N?….Y/L/N? You good?”  Steve asks when he doesn’t here a reply.

 You clear your throat, “Uh yeah sorry about that.  Widow enter in 3, 2, 1.”

 With that, you open the roof access door and start making your way down. Once you reach the top floor you don’t immediately hear anything and make your way into the hallway.  You see a guard up ahead who is turned the other way. You quick get behind him and knock him out and slowly lay his body on the floor as to not draw attention.  You enter the room he was guarding and see the large stash of weapons they have been collecting to sell.

 “Cap, I am in the room with the weapons.  I will continue to move through the building until I meet up with Black Widow.”

 “Copy.”

 Shortly after you hear yelling from down the hall about an intruder on level two.  Knowing they are talking about Natasha you quickly run behind them and take both out while running down the stairs to the next level.

 You reach level 4 quickly and see it is mostly unmanned.  The few that are left are watching the cameras.   You sneak into the room and take out both men. Once you do you look at the camera see that Natasha is already on the third floor and fighting off five men, with more headed her way.

 Rushing to the stairs you get impatience and decide to jump over the railing onto the next staircase and again till you reach the door for the third floor.  You can immediately hear fighting.  You draw your weapon and enter the hallway.  You see Natasha down the hall fighting with more men closing around her.

 You take out 3 men quickly as you continue to run towards Natasha.  You yell and wrap your arms around one as he turns around.  You use your legs to take out the guy right in front of him.  When you both fall to the ground you head the man you are holding in the head with the butt of your gun to knock him out.

 You quickly get up and see Natasha take her final guy down.  “How many did you get?”  You ask Natasha.  

 “I got 15 total.”

 “Show off.”  You smirk. “I got 10 so that leaves one more. I have counted 26 over the last few months.”

 Just as you finish your sentence you hear a gun shot and a sharp pain on the outside of your shoulder.  “Son of a bitch!”  You say as both you and Natasha move to shoot the guy who shot you.

 When he’s dead you radio Steve.  “Cap, we have all men accounted for.  Ready for the SHIELD team to enter for clean-up and arms removal.”

 “Copy that Agent Y/L/N, I will radio them now.”

 When the comms go quiet you turn to Natasha.  She shyly smiles at you which you shyly return.

 “Let me look at your wound.”

 “It’s really okay Nat, he just grazed my shoulder.  I doubt I will even need stiches.”

 “Stop talking Y/N and let me look.”

 You smile and turn your shoulder to her for her to take a closer look. She gently touches your arm and you feel a shiver run up your spine.  You can’t help but gasp as she touches your wound.  

 Out of the corner of your eye you see Natasha wince as well.  “Sorry.”

 “It’s ok just stings a bit.  Once I get back to my living space, I can patch it up.”

 “We can patch it up.” Natasha corrects.

 You turn to look at her and find yourself just staring into her eyes. She is looking back at you as she places her other hand on your cheek.  You close your eyes at the movement and lean into her touch.

 You move to put your hand over hers when you suddenly hear doors open on the bottom floor.  You both immediately hear SHIELD agents entering the building.  Sharing a look with Natasha you regretfully take to step back from her and both head down to meet the agents.

 Steve calls you shortly after you show some agents where the arms room is located.  Natasha decided to stay with the other agents to help get the remaining men in custody.

 “Hey Cap, we are just cleaning up now, Nat and I should be done shortly.”

 “Sounds good.  Great job over the last couple months Y/L/N, Fury is as happy as Fury can get.”

 You chuckle, “That is good to hear.”

 “To reward you, I asked Wanda to set up a room in a hotel for you so you and Nat don’t have to sleep on the floor anymore.”

 “I see, as soon as Black Widow shows up, I get promoted to a hotel.” You can hear Steve laugh.  “Either way, I appreciate it, I am going to need a massage after sleeping on the hard floor for so long.”  

 “We can probably arrange that once you get back.”  Steve says as you walk into the hallway.  

 You quiet you voice a bit, “If you wouldn’t mind Cap, I would like to keep Nat here for a few extra days to help with clean up and wrapping up all the loose ends.  It will go much faster with two people.”

 “That can be arranged.  Also, take some time to enjoy Greece a bit, you deserve it.  I will see you in a week.”

 “I really appreciate it. I will see you soon. Bye.”

 As soon as you hang up the phone you hear, you see Natasha enter from the stairwell.

 “We are almost done here, and it sounds like we actually get beds to sleep in.  No more sleeping on the floor for me.”

 Natasha just laughs and starts walking to the stairs with you.

 As you are both headed out the door you get a text from Wanda.  “Here are directions to your hotel.  Your items have already been moved over so you can head straight there.  You can thank me later J”

 “Looks like our room is ready.”  You say to Nat as you both walk to an SUV.

 “Lead the way Y/N” she says quietly as you both get in the car.  You turn to her and smile as you drive away from the scene.

Tag list: @username23345

[wildhoney32]

Patience is a Virtue (6/10)

1,988

A few days before the new year Jessica calls Natasha to set up plans for New Year’s Eve.  “Hey babe, I was calling to see about the plans for Tony’s party.”

 “Tony isn’t doing a New Year’s Eve party this year, Jess.  We decided as a group that we are all going to just take it easy year and watch movies. It doesn’t feel the same without Y/N here and Pepper and Tony wanted a quiet night in.”

 “Well that sounds boring.  I guess I can look for another party around town.  No one is going to say no to Natasha Romanoff” Jess says with a smile.

 “Jess, I thought maybe we could just hang out here with everyone else.  You only ever really talk to them when Tony hosts a party and they want to get to know you more.”

 “Oh come on it is New Year’s Eve, I can talk to them any other time.  I want to go out for the night.”

 “Well I want to stay in with my family Jess.”

 “So, I guess I have to spend New Year’s Eve without my girlfriend. Just because you want to hang out with your family?”

 “Like I said, you are more than welcome to come here and spend time with us.  But if you really want to go out, then yes, you are going to have to spend it without me.” Natasha replies after releasing a sigh.

 “Well I guess I will talk to you in the next few days Natasha.  I am going to find plans for New Year’s.”

 “Ok, talk to you later Jess.”

 Natasha hangs up the phone and just stares at the screen for a moment.  She looks over at her dresser and sees the card from the irises laying there.  On a whim she decides to grab the card and find out where you got the flowers.

 She takes the card with her when she leaves the tower and heads to the flower shop.  It is cold and snowing but it is a lite snow and there is no wind, so Natasha decides to enjoy the weather and walk.

 When Natasha walks into the shop a young man, possibly early 20s, looks up from behind the counter and greets Natasha. “Hello Miss, what can I help you with today.”

 “I was wondering how I would go about ordering irises for someone.”

 “Irises have been out of season since late summer, but we are able to order them in.  Unfortunately, they can get quite expensive and take some time to get here.”

 “Can you tell me if you remember this person coming in to order irises?”  Natasha asks as she hands the man the card.

 “Oh, Miss Y/L/N.  She was such a sweet woman.  She came in about 3 or 3 1/2 months ago to order.”

 “You remember her after that long?”

 “Well the way she talked about the person receiving the flowers, which I assume is you if you have the card, it is hard not to remember her.  The way she talked about you and how she wanted to make sure we had plenty of time to get the flowers in and to you before your birthday arrived.  She was also very specific about the card and to not put her name.  I don’t mean to presume but you obviously mean a great deal to her.  If I may say, you are quite lucky to have someone like her as well.”

 “That is very sweet of you.  I completely agree, I am very lucky to have someone like Y/N in my life.  Thank you for the help.”

 “Did you need any flowers today miss?”

 “Not today, but I definitely know where to come to when I need some.”

 As Natasha leaves the store, she starts her walk to the coffee shop.  You ordered them even before you left for the mission.  Natasha can’t believe you went to all trouble for not only her birthday but Christmas as well.  How could she be so blind?

 Ruth greets Natasha with a warm smile when she enters the coffee shop.  “Can I get you the usual Natasha?”

 “Yes please.  Also, if you aren’t busy, I would like some advice along with the coffee.”

 “Of course, my dear, I will do the best I can to help in any way.”

 “Well ever since my birthday I have started to become confused.”

 “Confused about what?”

 “My relationship, and my friendship with Y/N.”

 “What are you confused about.” Ruth quietly asks.

 “Well, on my birthday, my girlfriend, Jess, sent me a large bouquet of roses.  They were pretty, but I have never been a fan of roses.  I find them too simple to get.  Later in the day, Y/N sent me a beautiful bouquet of irises.  Irises are my favorite flower and I know I only told her once, a long time ago, in passing.  To have her remember was so special to me.”

 “Honey, I am pretty sure you could be talking about nuclear physics and Y/N would remember every word because you are the one speaking.  I told you before, I have seen the way that woman looks at you.  Friends don’t look at friends like that.”

 Natasha just blushes as she continues.  “I decided to go by the flower shop today to see where she got them.  Turns out, she had to order them months in advance because they are out of season here and they had to be shipped in from somewhere else.”

 Ruth just stays quiet as she observes the smile and soft look in Natasha’s eyes as she continues to talk.

 “Then the night of Christmas I overhear two friends talking about how the tea Y/N gave me, which is my favorite, is only sold in one place in all of New York. She once spent all day searching for it after I had mentioned that I like this brand but could never find it for sale.  When I asked her where she got it, she made it sound like she got lucky and happened to stumble across it.”

 “I hear everything you are saying Natasha, but I am not sure what advice you need from me.”

 “Well, I was wondering why you don’t think Y/N ever said anything about her feeling towards me?”

 “Well I could tell she always wanted to be more than friends.  Maybe she wasn’t sure how you felt and was scared it would hurt your friendship if you didn’t feel the same.  Like you said, you have only recently started to realize all she has done.  When you started dating someone, you and I both know Y/N would never do anything to hurt you in anyway.  She certainly wasn’t going to say anything if you looked like you were happy with someone else.  Y/N might be a brave person at work, but everyone gets scared when their heart is on the line.”

 Natasha just sighs as she takes a drink of her coffee.

 “Let me ask you this, why are you still in a relationship with your girlfriend when you and I both know you have feelings for Y/N?”

 “How do you know I have feelings for Y/N?”

 “Sweety, if you could see your face when you talk about her then you could tell.   You might be able to fool yourself, but you certainly aren’t fooling anyone else. Does the other woman treat you well?”

 “She doesn’t treat me bad, but honestly, we only ever do what she wants.  She is not at all interested in what I like.  She didn’t even know I didn’t like roses and we have been together for months.”

 “I think you and I both know what your answer is then.”

 “You’re right Ruth. Thank you for the coffee and the advice.  Both were wonderful as always.”

 Natasha gives the cup back as she heads towards the door.  She pulls out her phone and texts Jessica.  “Are you free this evening?  Can I come over and talk?”

 Jessica responds a few minutes later, “I will be home at 6.  Come by any time after.”

 Natasha takes a deep breath and exhales as she walks back to the tower.  She knows what she needs to do, she just hates having to do it.

 ___________________

  Natasha arrived at Jessica’s right before 7.  She knew what she wanted to do, but she didn’t want to hurt Jess.  She wasn’t a bad person, just not right for her.

 “Hey Natasha, is everything okay, your text was vague?”

 As Natasha walks in to Jess’ apartment she sits on the couch and gestures for Jess to do the same.  “Jess, you know I care a lot about you, but I have been thinking lately. I don’t think we are right for each other.  We have totally different interests.”

 “What are you talking about, we have fun together?!”

 “Jess, we only ever do things you want and you haven’t even taken the time to meet my family the entire time we have been dating. I have tried to meet all of your friends and get along with them, but you haven’t tried once to talk to mine unless it is at a party.”  Natasha calming responds.

 “Well forgive me for not wanting to hangout around the tower all the time watching movies.  I like to go out and have fun.  Your family never wants to do anything fun.”

 “We are constantly going on missions and having to do PR, when we have a chance to ourselves, yes, we like to relax.”

 “Whatever Natasha, I tried to get you out and have fun, but you never want to.  And don’t think I don’t know this has something to do with Y/N.  You are always talking about things she does for you.  I knew she would get in the way of us.”

 “This doesn’t involve Y/N, she isn’t even here. I have realized you are using me for my name to get into fancy places and take advantage of my fame. I was just blinded from it because I was trying to make you happy.  I now understand I will never be truly happy if I am always focused solely on making you happy.  Especially when it involves things I don’t want to do.”

 Natasha gets up from the couch and starts walking towards the door.  Jessica grabs her arm and forces her to look back at her.  “Don’t think for one second you are ever going to be able to do better than me.  Y/N is nothing but a bitch who has been trying to steal you away.  You will come to regret this Natasha.”

 Natasha is quiet for a moment before slowly stepping towards Jessica.  Natasha is a few inches from her when she quietly says, “If you ever say anything against Y/N again or I find out you are using my name anywhere in this town, I will come and find you and our next conversation won’t be as pleasant. No one gets to talk about the people I care about like that.  I have resources everywhere, cross me again and you will quickly regret it.”

 With that Natasha backs away and leaves Jessica’s apartment.  As soon as she is on the street, Natasha takes her phone and deletes Jessica's number, any message she sent, and any photos she ever had of her.  While she was looking through the photos, she sees one taken at a party.  Off to the side of the photo she can see you looking at her with sadness in her eyes as Natasha looks at Jess with a smile on her face.

‘How could I have been so blind’ Natasha thinks to herself.  She knows she has to fix this, and she knows just the person she needs to talk to in order to help.

[wildhoney32]

Patience is a Virtue (5/10)

3,356

About two months into your mission Natasha is sitting in the common room reading a book.  She woke up early and got a nice long workout in before anyone interrupted her. She has had breakfast and is now relaxing.

 While she is reading the sound of footsteps into the room draws her attention.  She looks up to see a receptionist from the lobby walking in with a large bouquet of roses. Natasha just rolls her eyes.  She gets up to meet the woman and she takes the bouquet from her thanking her.  Once she is alone, she looks at the card.  “Happy Birthday to my super-hot girlfriend!  Can’t want to see you tonight. Xoxo Jess

 Natasha can’t help the annoyed expression that comes to her face.  She has been feeling off ever since Jessica told her to distance herself from Y/N. She also can’t help but notice Jess gave her roses when she knows they had a whole conversation about them. Jess couldn’t understand why Natasha didn’t like roses, she thought they were so beautiful.  Natasha tried to explain her reasoning, but Jess wouldn’t listen.

 She puts the card back in its holder and takes the flowers to her room before anyone sees.

 Later in the afternoon Natasha and Wanda walk off the elevator into the common room and see a large bouquet of irises sitting on the counter.

 “Wow those are beautiful.  When did those get here?”  Wanda asks Steve who is the only other person in the room.

 “They came about an hour ago.  The receptionist said they were for Natasha.  I assume they are from Jess, but I didn’t ask.” Steve replies

 Without saying anything Natasha walks over to the flowers.  She leans in close and smells the flowers before looking at the beautiful grouping. She has always loved irises. Natasha opens the card and reads, “A beautiful flower for a beautiful woman on the inside and out.  I hope this day is magical, you deserve only the best.” The card isn’t signed, and she is confused.  Who would know she likes irises?  She only told Y/N once in passing and there is no way she would have remembered.  Right?

 Natasha can’t help but let her mind wander to her best friend.  She misses you like crazy and can’t stand not being able to speak with you.

 Wanda walks up beside Natasha and asks to read the card.  “Oh, that is so sweet.  But who sent it?  And why didn’t they sign their name I wonder.”

 Natasha just shrugs and tells her she is going to put them in her room.

 As Natasha leaves, Wanda takes out her phone. She texts, “Nat just received a beautiful bouquet or irises but no name on the card.  Any idea who might have sent them?  She seemed to really like them.”

 “I am glad they arrived safely.  I wanted to check but I was afraid to ask.”  You quickly respond back.

 “She loved them don’t worry about it.  But why send them if you are trying to get over her?”

 “Just because I am trying to move on doesn’t mean my friend doesn’t deserve flowers on her birthday.”

 “Whatever you say Y/L/N.  Whatever you say.  Be safe and talk soon.”  At that Wanda puts her phone back into her pocket and goes into the kitchen.

 When Natasha reaches her room, she decides to put the irises in her bedroom so she can look at them when in bed.   She pulls out her phone when she hears a text come through.

 “Happy birthday!  I am sorry to miss it.  I hope you have an amazing day.”

 “Thank you, Y/N.  I miss having you here to celebrate it with me.  I just received a beautiful bouquet of irises.  Know anything about that?”

 “Glad they made it safely.  Hopefully they don’t die right away ;)”

 Natasha feels her heart skip a beat when she reads that you are the one that sent them.  She pauses and wonders why she is getting that feeling.  She shakes her head and writes back, “I will make sure to take good care of them.”  She can’t believe you took the time to order them while on your mission.

 “I know you will. Gotta go Nat. Happy Birthday.”

 With that she smiles and put her phone back in her pocket.  She stares at the flowers for a minute thinking about you before leaving her room.

 ____________________

  Natasha wakes up the morning after her birthday and has a craving for coffee.  She hasn’t been to your and her’s favorite coffee shop since you left, but after looking at the irises again, she decides to go.

 Fall is trying to hang on in New York before winter officially takes over.  Natasha wraps her scarf around her neck before zipping up her jacket as she walks onto the street.  It only takes a few minutes to get to the coffee shop. As soon as she walks in she is greeted with the smell of espresso as always.  Ruth looks up from behind the counter and greets Natasha with a big smile.

 “Well hi there sweety, it has been so long since I have seen you.  How have you been?”

 “I have been good, Ruth.  Thank you for asking.  I woke up this morning and was craving one of your vanilla lattes please.”

 “Of course, dear, coming right up.  How has life been without Y/N around?  She has been gone almost two months now, right?”

 “How did you now Y/N has been gone?”

 “The day you two and your friend went shopping she came back in and she told me she was heading out of town.”

 “Oh, I didn’t know she came back.  It has been good. Quiet.  I miss her sarcasm and humor. Y/N always has the ability to put a smile on my face.”  Natasha says with a small smile.

 Ruth looks at her and smiles when she sees the far away look on Natasha’s face.  She brings her mug back to the counter and slides it to Natasha.  Natasha reaches for her wallet to pay but Ruth stops hers, “Honey, it has already been covered.”

 “What do you mean covered?  Ruth, you and Dave have a business. I can’t accept free coffee, I am more than happy to pay.”

 “No sweety, don’t worry.  That is the reason Y/N came back in that night after shopping. She gave me enough money to cover your coffee tab while she is out of town.  She said it was her way of still being able to buy you coffee every once in a while.”

 Natasha just stares at Ruth for a minute surprised.

 “You know, I don’t mean to pry but Y/N mentioned you have a girlfriend.  She only told me after I assumed you two were an item.  The way she has always looked at you, I thought you two were more than friends.”

 “Really?  Um yeah, Jess and I have been together for about 6 months now.”

 “Well if you are happy then I am happy for you. You deserve to find someone who treats you right.  You two ladies are wonderful, I hope you both find happiness and keep that wonderful friendship of yours at the same time.”

 “Thanks Ruth.  I don’t know what I would do if I lost Y/N as a friend.  She definitely makes life and work way more fun.”

 At that Natasha takes her cup and goes to your normal table and sits down to think.  Not only did you send her favorite flowers on her birthday, you made sure her coffee was covered while you are away.  Is that how friends normally treat each other?  Maybe Jess saw something she didn’t.

 She sat at the coffee shop for about an hour before deciding it was time to leave.  Natasha decides to walk through the park to enjoy the colder weather before heading back to the tower.  While walking her phone starts to ring and she sees Jess is calling.  She stares at her phone for a few seconds before deciding not to answer.  She has too much on her mind right now.

 When Natasha gets back to the tower she runs in to Wanda cooking in the kitchen.

 “Hey Wanda, what are you making?”

 “Oh, I am making pelmeni.  I told Vision I want to make him more traditional dishes from home for him to try.  Would you like to help?

 “Yes, that sounds great.  I haven’t had pelmeni in forever, it is so tasty.”

 “I whole heartedly agree.  Where have you been, your cheeks are red?”

 “I decided to get some coffee then I walked through the park for a bit to enjoy the seasons changing.  Hey, did you know that Y/N covered my tab for me at the coffee shop?  Enough for me not to have to pay for coffee the entire time she is gone?”

 “Of course she freaking did.” Wanda mumbles under her breath.  Natasha catches what she says and turns to Wanda.

 “Wanda, is there something I am missing?  Why would Y/N do that?”

 “I have no idea, I didn’t know she planned on doing that.”

 “Wanda, I can tell there is something you are not telling me.  What is it?”

 Wanda sighs, “She probably did it so she could still spoil you even while trying to keep her distance.”

 “What do you mean keep her distance?”

 “Y/N overheard you and Jess talking one morning and heard Jess say you needed to stay away from her.   Y/N started to pull away so you wouldn’t have to decide between her and Jess, she would never ask you to do that.”

 “She heard us?”  Natasha stops to think. “Is that the reason she took the mission? Did she take it to get away from me?”

 “She didn’t take it to get away from you.  She took it so you wouldn’t feel pressured to have to stay away from her.  She didn’t want you to stress out about having to see her around the compound. And she needed some time away anyway to clear her head.”  Wanda stops after realizes what she just said.

 “Clear her head from what?  Is everything okay with Y/N?! Wanda, what is going on?” Natasha asks worriedly.

 “Y/N is fine I promise.  It is not my place to tell you what is going on, Y/N needs to do that herself.”

 There is a long pause in talking as they continue to cook.  Natasha is lost in thought and Wanda is trying to cover her tracks.

 “So how are you and Jess doing?....Nat?”

 “Huh?  Oh, Jess and I are fine.”  Natasha responds lost in thought.

 “That didn’t sound very convincing.”

 “It’s just, I don’t know.  We have fun together and I care about her.  I just feel like sometimes we only do what she wants to do and she doesn’t even try to be interested in what I like.”

 “What do you mean?”

 “For instance, I told her I would love to go see the Russian Ballet because they are coming into town in the new year and I love the ballet.  She kind of blew it off and said there are much more fun things to do than go to a ballet. Then she started talking about some new night club she wants to go to.  I don’t know.  I just wish she would at least try to enjoy what I like too.”

 “Well I would love to go to the ballet with you, why don’t we try to get tickets?”

 “I checked, they are already completely sold out.”

 “I’m sorry Nat, maybe next time they come into town we can all go as a big group.”

 “Yeah, that sounds nice.”

 Another silence falls over them and suddenly a text from you appears on Wanda’s phone. She quickly sees it’s you and grabs her phone before Natasha sees your name.

 “Who is that?”

 “Vision is texting me to let me know he is on his way. Thanks so much for the help Nat. Want me to call you when everything is done cooking?”

 “That’s okay, you and Vision have fun, just leave me some leftovers.”  Natasha says as she walks out of the room.

 As soon as Natasha is gone, Wanda picks up her phone and reads your text.

 “Hey girl, I miss you.  The mission is going smooth.  I am hoping to finish early and spend some time enjoying Greece.  How is life in New York?”

 “Glad to hear everything is going well. Everything is fine here.  Can I ask why you decided to cover Nat’s coffee bill for your entire trip?”

 “I just wanted to be nice.”

 “You are so full of shit Y/L/N.  She came in and started asking me all these questions.”

 “You realize you only call me by my last name when you are mad at me.”

 “Well I am mad, Y/N you are supposed to be moving on. But about that…

 I may have let it slip that you overheard her conversation with Jess about staying away from you and that is one of the reasons you took the mission. Oops :/”

 “GODDAMNIT MAXIMOFF!!!  How could you tell her that?  The last thing I need is for her to feel bad about anything involving me.  I need her to start to pull away from me, not to feel sorry for me.”

 “I know, I am so sorry.  But hey, after the irises for her birthday and now the coffee, I think she is starting to get confused.

 She told me she is starting to realize Jess is not interested in doing anything she is interested in.  You might be getting Natasha to notice you as more than a friend without even trying.”

 “How am I supposed to get over her when you keep saying things that give me hope like that?  Come on Wanda.”

 “I know, I know.  I just thought you should know.”

 You don’t reply and Wanda isn’t sure if it is because you are busy or you are mad.  She decides that she is going to poke around a bit to figure out what Nat really feels.  You are incredible and deserve someone amazing.  If Natasha starts to see it then maybe she will realize she wants to be that someone.

 _____________________

 Christmas feels like it came up so suddenly. Before Natasha knows it, her family is gathered in the common room to open presents.  They always start out opening one gift at a time but eventually it turns in to a free for all.

When everyone is done Clint finds one more small gift under the tree.  “Looks like this one was hidden under the torn up wrapping paper.  It has your name on it, Nat.”  He says as he tosses it to her.

 Natasha looks at it and sees it is from you.  She gently unwraps the box and finds a whole box of her favorite Russian tea and a few new ones by the same brand she has never tried.  A small note in your handwriting lays on top. “Hope this helps to keep you warm through the New York winter.  I know they are nothing compared to Russia but hopefully this will help.

 “Who is it from?”  Clint asks.

 “Y/N.”

 Wanda and Clint share a look with each other and smile.

 After everyone is done, they all separate for the evening and head to their rooms.  Natasha gets to her room when she realizes she left her (your) sweater on the couch. She heads back to the common room to pick up your big, comfy sweater when she hears the voices of Clint and Wanda. She slows down to a stop when she hears your name.

 “I can’t believe Y/N got Natasha that tea.” Clint says.

 “I don’t know why you are so surprised.  Y/N always tries to get Nat her favorite things.” Wanda replies.

 “Yeah but isn’t there only like one place in the city that sells that stuff.  Isn’t it in Brooklyn?”

 “Yeah, Y/N said it took her all day to find a place that sells it after Nat first mentioned she liked it.”

 “Man, Y/N really knows how to treat a woman.”

 Wanda quietly laughs.  “What do you expect.  You and I both know Y/N is a total romantic.  I just hope she is using this time away to finally get over her feelings for Nat.  I don’t think I can handle watching her struggle anymore when she sees Natasha and Jess together.”

 Natasha freezes when she hears that from Wanda. ‘Y/N really does have feelings for me? For how long?  Why didn’t she ever say anything?’

 Natasha stays in her spot until the conversation dies down.  She then continues walking into the common room.

 “Hey guys, thanks for cleaning up.  I just forgot my sweater.”

 “Don’t you mean Y/N’s sweater?”  Wanda says with a smirk.

 “Yeah, but Y/N said I could use it whenever and it is just so comfy I couldn’t help it.”

 “Hey Nat, where is Jess?  I haven’t seen her in a while.”  Clint says and Wanda turns and gives him a dirty look.  He looks back at her and just shrugs.

 “She is out of town with a group of friends. They all went to some fancy ski resort. She wanted me to go but I would rather stay here and take it easy with my family.  I like quiet holidays.”  Natasha says as she picks up the sweater.  

“Have a good night you two.  Merry Christmas.” 

“Merry Christmas” They both return.

 Natasha is almost to her apartment when she sees Tony standing outside of her door.

 “Hey Tony, need anything?”

 “No, I just wanted to give you one more present.”

 Tony hands Natasha a small envelope.

 “Before Y/N left on her mission she asked me to see if I could find these for you.  She said if I got them to please give them to you as a Christmas present.  I didn’t want to give them in front of the group. Have a good night Nat.  Merry Christmas.”

 “Merry Christmas, Tony.”  Natasha says as she opens her apartment door.  She decides it is chilly enough to turn on the fire. She grabs a glass of wine and sits in a chair close to the fire.

 She opens the envelope and sees a card.  “Hey Nat, Merry Christmas!  You know how much I love the holidays and I am really bummed I won’t be there to spend it with everyone.  I hope you are doing well and enjoying a relaxing winter.  If you get this, it means Tony was able to help me out. I hope you have a wonderful time. Please say hi to Ruth and Dave if you get a chance to see them.”

 After reading the card she pulls out two tickets. She looks and sees two box seats for the Russian Ballet in mid-February.

 All Natasha can do is gasp as she looks at the tickets.  Her mind wanders back to the day she mentioned she wanted to go to the ballet when you two were in the coffee shop.  She can’t believe you were able to get tickets.  Box seats no less!  This is such a wonderful gift.  She doesn’t know how she could ever repay you.

 Has she really been blind this whole time?   Do you really care about her as more than a friend?  She thinks back to all the things you have done for her over the years knowing each other. You have always put her needs and wants first.  She can’t help but compare you to Jess.  You always make sure she is happy with plans and makes sure it is something you both want to do. Jess only cares about things she likes. Even their vacation revolved around everything Jess wanted.  She doesn’t like fancy, she likes laid back and simple.

 When Natasha is done with her wine she decides to head to bed.  She gets a chill and decides to put your sweater back on.  She curls up in bed falling asleep to the smell of you.

[wildhoney32]

Patience is a Virtue (4/10)

2,836

You wake up early a few days later and walk toward the common room kitchen.  As you get closer you start to hear two voices you immediately pick up as Natasha and Jessica.  ‘Oh, lucky me, look who stayed the night.’  Okay, Y/N you got this, you can be mature and polite.  ‘Besides I’m out of milk in my apartment and I really want cereal’

 As you get closer you hear Natasha offer Jessica a cup tea.

 “Ew, no.  Is that the Russian stuff you like?  I don’t get why you drink that weird stuff.  I bought you expensive tea for a reason.  You should drink that.”

 “I like this tea Jess.  It reminds me of the good parts of home.”

 Jessica ignores Natasha and continues, “where do you even buy that stuff anyway?”

 “I am not sure, Y/N picked it up for me after I mentioned I liked it. She said she randomly found it in a shop she went into.”

 You can hear Jessica give a sarcastic chuckle, “of course Y/N was the one to get it for you.”

 “What is that supposed to mean?”

 “Come on Nat, she is clearly in love with you.  I see the way she looks at you.  For being a spy, she is terrible about hiding her emotions when it comes to you.”

 ‘Oh shit’

 “Come on Jess, that isn’t true.  Y/N and I have been friends for years.  We are nothing more.  She gave me tea as a friendly gesture. It’s not like it is some rare tea that is hard to find.”

 ‘Weeeellllll…..’

 “Whatever Natasha.  It would just make me feel better if you didn’t spend as much time with her.  I know there is something there and I don’t like it.”

 “Are you asking me to stop hanging out with my best friend?”

 “Not when other people are around, but I would appreciate no more hangouts alone.”

 You decide to around before you hear anything else.  You don’t want to be the cause of a fight between Natasha and Jessica.  You certainly don’t want Natasha to have to choose between her girlfriend, who she says she loves, and you.  That is not fair.

 You head back to your room to think about the best options. You don’t want to stop hanging out with your best friend, but if it is going to cause Natasha problems you will work on being out of the way.

 You stay in your room for a few hours thinking about the best options. Maybe being away from Natasha will help you move passed your feelings.  Her and Jess are serious and as much as you hate it, you will do nothing to jeopardize their relationship.  You sneak out of your room after you finally dress and head down to see Maria.

 As soon as you walk into her office, she looks at you with a look that tells you she knows why you are there.  “Y/L/N, I don’t have any missions for you right now I am sorry.”

 “What missions do you have right now?  Just tell me what you got at least.”

 “Fine, I have a mission for a low-level agent in Norway next week, I have a month long mission in the UK, a 6 month intel mission in Greece, and a 3 week intel in Panama.”

 Your ears immediately perk up at the mention of Greece.  You have always wanted to hit the beaches.  6 months is a long time to be away from your family, but that is probably what you need to help move on.  Unfortunately, you will miss the holiday and Nat’s birthday, but you need to clear your head and you can’t do that here.

 “I will take the 6 months in Greece if that is available.  Give me time to clear my head.  You and I both know it’s what I need.”

 Maria looks at you for a minute before sighing. “Fine, but I have to clear it with Fury first.  If he gives the okay, you are good to go.”

 “Great when would I start?”

 “You leave in 10 days.”

 “Perfect.  It will give me time to get everything wrapped up here and get everything I need for the mission.  Once Fury gives the okay, I will come and get the mission file from you.”

 Maria nods and goes back to what she was doing before.

 You immediately go to look for Wanda and Clint before they hear it from someone else.  You want to tell Nat, but after overhearing the conversation that morning, you feel it is better to wait.

  __________________

 Wanda and Clint are not pleased to hear you are going to be gone for so long, but they also understand why you need to leave.

 “Y/N, I can’t believe you are leaving so suddenly. Why did you decide now to ask Maria for a mission, what happened?” Clint asks as you all sit around the living room in your apartment.

 You sigh, “I was headed to the kitchen this morning to get some food when I overheard Nat and Jessica talking.  Jessica was giving her crap about the tea she drinks, saying it is too weird.  When Jessica found out I was the one to give it to Nat she said she knows I have feelings for Nat because she sees how I look at her.  She told Nat she doesn’t want her hanging out with me one on one anymore.”

 “What? That is ridiculous, she can’t tell Nat who to hang out with!  What did Nat say?”

 “I left before I heard anymore, I was too afraid of what she would say.  She did say we are nothing more than friends.  I just don’t want to put Nat in a situation where she has to choose between a relationship and a friend.  She is finally happy in a relationship and I am not going to do anything to jeopardize that. As much as it hurts to me stand by.  If she is happy, I am happy.”

 “Are you going to tell Natasha you are leaving?” Wanda asks quietly.

 “Yeah, but I am going to wait for the official word from Fury before I let anyone else know.  I need to get some things lined up before I leave.  I am going to be missing Christmas, so I have to go get some shopping done for everyone,” you say with a smile.  “What do you say to shopping in a few days Wanda?  You can help me pick out something awesome and embarrassing for Clint.”

 “That sounds great.  A nice girl’s day before you head out.”

 ______________________

 You hear back from Maria the next day saying you are good to go for the mission.  Before you do anything else you go to see Tony to ask a favor.  Once you have told Tony you are leaving, and asked for his help, you leave the lab to head into the common room.

 Most of your team is hanging out on couches except for Wanda and Vision who are out on an afternoon date.

 “Hey guys can I talk to everyone for a second?”

 Once you have everyone’s attention and the TV is muted, you proceed to tell everyone about your mission and how long you will be gone.  Everyone immediately gives their inputs of how they will miss you and how sad they are about how long you will be gone.  As well as a “you are going to miss Christmas!” from Sam.

 While you are listening to Bucky who came up to you, you see Natasha out of the corner of your eye just looking at you. You turn to make eye contact with her and can see the sad expression on her face.  You give her a small smile and end your conversation with Bucky before walking over to where she is seated on the couch.

 You make sure to leave enough space as you sit down with your body turned towards her.  “When did you find out you were leaving, Y/N?”

 “Maria and I talked about it yesterday and I found out a little while ago from Fury that it is officially a go.  Don’t worry I will be able to check in periodically. I won’t be totally dark for 6 months. And hey, now I have a chance to actually see Greece like I wanted.”

 “I know, I just thought maybe we could take a trip there sometime and visit together.”

 “Maybe before Nat, but you’re in a relationship now. I don’t think Jessica would appreciate you skipping around the world with a woman that isn’t her.”  You try to hide any sign that you overheard her conversation.

 “Yeah, you are probably right.  I am just going to miss you so much while you are gone. I can only handle so much of Clint,” Natasha says as a smile creeps on her face.

 “Don’t underestimate Wanda.  She is pretty good at keeping Clint in line.  By the way, we are going to do a girl’s shopping day so I can get everyone present’s for Christmas.  You should join.  I may not be able to be here, but I could never not get everyone a gift.”

 “I would love that!  We will make a day of it.”

 _____________________

  A few days later you, Natasha and Wanda spend the day getting gifts.  You start out at the coffee shop and say hi to Ruth.  Instead of sitting in your normal spot you get them to go and start hitting stores.

 The boys are surprisingly easy to shop for and within a few hours you have your Christmas list complete.  As you are starting to head back to the tower you turn to Nat and Wanda, “I have a huge favor to ask ladies.  I have a few more stops I need to hit before heading back. Would you mind taking the bags back to my apartment and leaving them by the couch, please?”

 “Y/N, we can go with you, we are in no hurry to get back.  Where else do you need to go?”  Wanda asks while Natasha looks at you curiously.

 “Well I appreciate it Wanda, but it would be hard to buy you two presents if you are with me.  I should only be a few more hours.”

 Wanda and Natasha take the bags and head back to the tower.  Once they are out of sight, you head back to the coffee shop.

 “Hi Ruth, how are you?” You say as you walk in the shop.

 “Well hey there Y/N, back so soon?”

 “I have a favor to ask if it isn’t too much trouble?”

 “Of course, what can I do for you sweety?”

 “I am having to leave town for a few months.  I was wondering if I could leave you some cash and keep a tab for Natasha, so she doesn’t have to buy any coffee while I am gone?  I am not sure how often she will stop by, but just in case.”

 “It is totally fine Y/N, I am happy to do that for you and Natasha.  I have always thought you two make such a cute couple.”

 You put your head down and hide your blush, “Oh no Ruth, Natasha and I are just friends. She is seeing someone else.” You try to hide the sad look on your face as you say that.

 “Well she has never mentioned anyone before.  The only person she talks about when you aren’t with her, is well, you.”  Ruth has a look on her face you can’t quite distinguish.

 “I am not sure what to tell you Ruth, we have only ever been just friends.”

 You give Ruth enough money to cover coffee for six months and a little extra just in case. As you leave, Ruth tells you to be safe and that she can’t wait for you to get back.

 As you’re leaving, you look at your watch and realize you don’t have much time to get to Brooklyn and back to the flower shop you have been working with, so you hail and cab and ask them to hurry.

 You are barely able to make it to both places before they close, but you are able to get everything arranged.  As you head back to the tower you realize you probably shouldn’t have done what you did but you just couldn’t help it.  You want to spoil Natasha just a little bit.  Whether she looks at it as just friends or something more is up to her.  All you know is the next six months are going to be hell trying to get over her.

 _______________

The morning of the mission comes sooner than you expected.  You have been able to spend time with all the Avengers before leaving for six months. Doing a good job of not being alone with Natasha at all during that time.  She never asked you to do anything individually, so you expect she has already started to do as Jessica asked and stay away from you.

 After saying goodbye to everyone else, Wanda and Clint take your bags and walk with you into the hanger.  You notice Natasha hangs back with the rest of the group, but she has a look on her face you can’t quite decipher.

 “I know we are not the one you really want to be walking with but please know how much we are going to miss you, Y/N.  Six months feels like too long of a time for you to be away.”

 “I know, Wanda.  But trust me, it will fly by and before you know it, you and I will be out shopping and enjoying the spring weather in New York.  Just try to keep Clint in line while I am away.”

 “Oh please, you make it sounds like I am a child.” Clint whines.

 “You are a child.”  You and Wanda say at the same time.  You share a look and start laughing as you both lean in for a hug.

 “I can’t thank you both enough for being there for me while I have been struggling with the whole Nat and Jessica thing. Know that is has meant more than I can ever express.  Hopefully over these next six months I will be able to clear my head and come back a totally rejuvenated Y/N and ready to hit the town.”

 “That sounds great.  Also, please try to work on the whole talking to yourself thing while you are away.  It is weird.” Wanda says lovingly.

 “You know you love hearing my conversations with myself.  I am hilarious and not afraid to think what everyone else is also thinking.”  You laugh.

 “What the hell are you two talking about?” Clint asks confused.

 “Let’s just say even your thoughts aren’t safe from Wanda, she is allllwwways listening.”  You say as you give Clint creeper eyes.

 “Oh dear God I hope she is lying.”

 “Trust me Clint, for my own sake, I stay out of your head.”

 “Thank God!”

 You just laugh at your two friends. “Alright, time to head out, but I will talk to you guys frequently over text and call when I can.”

 “Nat said you had very limited communication while you were on your mission,”  Wanda says confused.

 “I told her that so she doesn’t try to contact me, and I can work on not talking to her.  I need to move on and I am going to try to do it by cutting cold turkey. I will still wish her a happy birthday, happy holidays and all that stuff.  But if you two could keep it to yourselves that we are communicating I would appreciate it.”

 “Of course, you have our word.”  Clint says as Wanda nods her head next to him.

 “Okay, well time to go.  I love you both and I will see you in a few months.

 “Love you too Y/N, see you soon.”  Wanda says with tears in her eyes.

 Clint puts his arm around Wanda as he says, “be careful Y/N, don’t get so distracted fixing yourself that you forget about the mission.”

 You smile, “I won’t Clint. I know what I am doing. Trust me will ya.”

 With that you pick up your bags and walk up the ramp to the quinjet.  As you take off, you start to make a list of all the things you have to accomplish while you are gone.  Trying to hit a few sites is up near the top of your list, along with having a safe and successful mission.  Both of those being right under moving on from Natasha.

 You realize the next six months you are going to be talking to yourself a lot and Wanda specifically told you to no do that. ‘She said to “work” on not talking to myself.  I never said I wouldn’t do it, so don’t be a dick.  The mission just started, and we have a long time together old friend.’ Lovely.

[wildhoney32]

Whoa I’m not sure what we did to deserve 3 chapters in a day but I’m thankful anyways. R’s inner dialogue is hilarious (and something I am guilty of doing myself) and I can’t wait for the rest!

Well when I read stories it is so hard for me to wait for the next chapter! When I write stories they are already done so it is just a matter of getting chapters out. I don't want to bog down the feed so I do a bit at a time. Well that, and I can barely understand technology so it takes forever 😂😂. At least you only talk to yourself sometimes, I do that shit constantly haha.