chatterbox

永遠 [ wing jyun ] • forever

[wingjyun]

"i love you because you exist. and oh my god, you do it so well.” happy birthday 자기! i love you ~ (gross)

note: kinda like a harry potter au twist on pink post-its?????? like, a follow up. but with the au. yah. nyehehe pls don’t kill me (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

the library was a fantastic place. with it’s large windows that overlooked various areas of the school grounds, the lake, even the forbidden forest could be seen on good days from a good vantage point. there were many places to hide out and read a good book in, or to get into mischief like some of the younger kids did.

but he, he had a special reason as to why he loved the library so much.

it was where he had first confessed. using the pink post it notes he had gotten from mark – why mark had had that sort of muggle stationary he had no clue – he had watched mei through his peripheral for years.

they had, of course, been in the same house since they started.had all their classes together, even had the same group of friends yet he had never realized his feelings until they came screaming at him like the scarlet train they rode together towards the school. jinyoung had been too shy to admit to anything at first, annoying the hell out of all his friends – especially jaebum. considering he liked his younger sister, it probably wasn’t a good thing to keep going on and on about a mild crush.

hey! just dropping by to tell you you’re super cute and i hope you have a good day! the first note had read, and he had watched as she read it, blushed – and damn, she was so beautiful – and promptly blamed it on jess. 

those were fond memories. 

-- 

your hair looks nice today! is the note he had left on her potions textbook the day he had decided to finally start acting on his feelings, nearing the end of their fifth year together.. they had always been friends -- being in the same house since first year, and being in the same classes for the majority of those five years sort of did that to people, obviously. 

he starts off small, slinging an arm casually around her shoulders as they walk out of the classroom and he really hopes she doesn’t hear his rapidly beating heart. he keeps it natural, or, as natural as he possibly could with his arm around the girl he likes, chattering away about how excited he is for lunch and how he really hopes there’s going to be pumpkin soup and how he had lost a couple points on the last essay they had done for history of magic. mei keeps up with the conversation easily, and his grin just stays on his face, the edges of his eyes crinkling up slightly as they made their way to the great hall for lunch. 

to his surprise, two things happen. firstly, there is indeed pumpkin soup on the table in front of them. secondly, she hadn’t shrugged his arm off. 

score.

-- 

good luck on your o.w.l. today! i know you’ll do well! he had barely managed to get that note on her book before she returned to her seat across from him in the library, panicking for a moment that they might get caught but mei didn’t seem to notice anything amiss. 

that was good, he thinks, before she flashes him a smile and promptly stares at the note left on her textbook. there’s a handful of their friend group there -- jess, hongbin, wonshik (surprisingly), seukhye, bomi, hyerim, even taekwoon and hakyeon -- so it’s not obvious who it could’ve been. 

or ... hopefully not. 

they’re all still just chattering quietly, others studying and he keeps his eyes on his books, the stack of post-its having been shoved unceremoniously into his pocket as he tried to appear as calm and cool and collected as possible -- a feat, considering he was definitely none of those at the moment. 

the next two minutes are the most tense minutes of his entire life, and he glances up to not seem like he was avoiding eye contact the entire time. he sees that everyone is back to studying and the little post-it note is nowhere to be seen. 

he’s honestly not sure if this is a good thing or not, but youngjae had told him the other day that mei kept a stack of pink “sticky notes,” as the younger had worded it, with writing on them tucked into the front pocket of one of her notebooks. his heart was soaring.

--

i like your shirt! is the next step he remembers taking, having left a note almost every day if he could. mostly in class as it would be less obvious as to who could be the person leaving said notes. it was only a few months later, but mei seemed to be taking the extra touchiness rather light-heartedly and he felt like he was ready.

this day was important. jinyoung was going to work up the nerve to say something nice to her during their group outing to hogsmeade. being ravenclaws, of course, the day had started with a full out studying session as they invaded the slytherin common room. everyone had ended up napping for a few hours and he really thinks his relationship with mei is going smoothly. she had ended up leaning her head on his shoulder and drifting off for a while before they had all been woken up to head out. 

they had had to go back to ravenclaw to change -- why hadn’t they done that in the first place before heading down? -- all of them gathering in the entrance hall before heading out. they always group together in houses before splitting off into friend groups and today is no different and jinyoung glances at mei, turning away from youngjae to smile at his crush. 

“i really like your shirt,” he comments casually, and her eyes light up as she explains her best friend had gotten it for her. hearing her name, jess pops over as well and he lets the moment slide, eyes crinkling up in the corners that he had been able to pay off that compliment naturally. 

-- 

i really like your smile! you should smile more ~ this note is important to him because it’s the day he gets caught. jess had put it into his mind earlier than maybe he should pretend to get caught and maybe, just maybe ask her out as well. or something like that. 

jinyoung ends up stalling for so long that he’s not even trying to get caught -- yet he does. he had dawdled for so long that mei came back to her desk right when he was withdrawing his hand from sticking the note onto her textbook and she confronts him right away. 

“you’re the one leaving me notes?” 

“wh-what! -- no why would i -- i mean, i --” he ends up stuttering so much that it’s obvious that it definitely was him that had been leaving the notes and after a few moments of awkwardly staring at each other, he just blurts out -- “ireallylikeyouwillyougooutwithme?” 

(miraculously, she says yes.)

--

he hums as he heads down to the common room, ravenclaw scarf tugged round his neck as he waits for his girlfriend. even when he stalls he somehow makes it down first and eventually he stopped trying to arrive second -- park jinyoung, the early bird. he should get that written on a business card or something. 

the wait for his girlfriend is shorter than he had expected and she appears at the bottom of the staircase with a smile, and he grins, reaching to take her hand and their fingers link automatically. his eyes crinkle up at the corners as she smiles up at him, and he leans down to press his lips against her forehead, “hey.” 

“hi!” 

mei grins up at her boyfriend who grins back as they head out of the sapphire-decked common room and down the stairs to the entrance hall. 

he tightens his fingers around hers as they walk, waving at familiar faces and grinning to himself all the while as they head out of the castle and down the snowy path to hogsmeade and despite the cold wind biting at his fingers and his nose, the cute, crinkly smile that he’s known for doesn’t drop off his face.

she seems to notice after a few moments — once she’s glanced up and lifted her face out of the depths of her blue and bronze scarf. 

“why are you so happy?” 

jinyoung can’t answer right away, having to think about it and he shrugs as they reach the three broomsticks and shuffle inside to thaw their extremities, wiggling his toes inside his shoes and settling down into the booth they had claimed as their own for the next hour or so.  they order their food, just a sampling of things to share between them; a plate of calamari and a cheesy dip that his girlfriend claims is delicious. 

they enjoy their food quietly, spending some nice alone time in silence after the hectic past weeks leading up to christmas with all the last minute papers they needed to write and helping their friends with their homework as well. they had only seen each other in a strictly scholarly setting — though a handful of their friends didn’t exactly follow that, and of course he had slipped in a kiss or too, and squeezing mei’s hand under the table sometimes but it had been hard to get together to just relax until after classes had let out. and then came the stress of buying gifts. 

but now that everything was done and over with, he finally had time to spend with her and jinyoung was overjoyed. 

it wasn’t so much the fact that they were on a date — though that was definitely the main reason — but more so the fact that they weren’t stressed while on their date. and that they were alone. 

“because of you,” he answers genuinely after they’ve finished eating, his eyes crinkled up in one of his signature smiles as he holds her hand from across the table, their fingers interlaced and he squeezes gently in full, uninhibited affection for the other ravenclaw. 

she raises an eyebrow at him, amused and incredulous at the same time. most days, she would accept it and move on but she decides to tease him a bit today for fun, considering it was their first outing in a long while. “but i didn’t even do anything!” 

there’s a pause as he raises his head from their linked fingers, as if considering what she was saying and the corner of his mouth twitches in amusement. 

“anyone can make me happy by doing something special,” jinyoung says, playing with her fingers, his cheeks bunching up in her favorite way. “but only someone special can make me happy but doing absolutely nothing at all. 

“you make me happy in a way that no one else can.”

[wingjyun]

you, me, and a cup of tea in which sanghyuk can’t drink black tea

for my mom @hyuk-fi

come around for tea she said, sanghyuk grumbles to himself as he stares at the cup sitting in front of him and he glowers at it as if it was the source of all his misery. it’ll be fun she said.

honestly, when his girlfriend had asked him to come over for some tea -- he hadn’t exactly expected for her to actually serve him tea. he had assumed it was a british thing -- kind of like how it was an asian thing to ask people to come over and eat ‘rice’ but not have rice on the menu. since rice was usually the equivalent of food. he had thought it might be the same for tea.

but no. it was actually tea. he would’ve thought that the last time that they went for the tea tasting with jess and hongbin, it would’ve been obvious that he couldn’t drink it straight. not black tea anyways. the green tea had been okay, though it had been a bit bitter too. the white tea had been nice, as had been the fruity herbal teas but ... he eyes the cup on the table before him and he sighs again.

“this is tea-ribble,” he calls in the direction of the pantry, where his girlfriend had disappeared into after he complained that the tea he was drinking was too bitter. she had been in there for almost three minutes now and he was getting bored already, trying to think of ways to annoy her. “you can’t leave a hot-tea like me waiting like this!”

(he cackles inwardly, listing all the words he could substitute the word ‘tea’ into as quick as he could, wanting to get in a few bad puns.)

abbie reappears with sugar packets and milk and he scrunches up his nose at her playfully, only to receive a boop in return and he splutters indignantly. he was a manly man thank you very much. and manly men didn’t get booped on the nose like a puppy or a bunny or some small, cute animal. (unless that manly man was his wonshik hyung, but that didn’t count because, well, since when was wonshik manly? the muscles didn’t count. sanghyuk had muscles too. okay, he was getting off topic.)

“yah!” he reaches up to boop his girlfriend back and he nods after, satisfied with his revenge tactic, thinking he had executed it perfectly. his attention then goes from the boop-battle to the sugar packets and the tea and his eyes brighten, reaching for them. grabbing a handful of sugar packets, sanghyuk tears them all apart to dump them into his coffee -- not noticing, or, most likely, ignoring the looks his girlfriend was giving him as he happily stirs his now very sweet and milked-down tea that he deems drinkable after another three sugar packets.

“this is a nice par-tea isn’t it,” he quips after taking a sip and he receives a hit on the shoulder which sends him into a fit of giggles, barely flinching from it. “you should be flattered that a celebri-tea like me is coming to your house on my day off to see you.” he nods, definitely ignoring the stare abbie was giving him.

taking a large sip, he adds another dollop of milk into his cup with a grin, stirring nonchalantly as he subtly chances a glance to the girl sitting across from him.

“this might not be my cup of tea ...” he sighs softly, staring down at the still mostly full cup of tea in front of him as if he was distraught.

before he pauses, glances up at her and wiggles his eyebrows.

“but you are.

“you cu-tea.”

[wistfulpetals]

snow days mark/jessica || snowy days lead to smiles, at least in his opinion.

happy birthday, 자기야!

when he’d originally dreamed of his future, he hadn’t thought it would be with her. honestly, he hadn’t had an inkling for the longest time, who the face that was beside him in his dreams and imagination. for a short time, he’d thought it might be the face of one of his best friends’ sisters. perhaps mei, or seukhye. he’d dated mei briefly, and he’d thought it was good – but only for a while, both of them realizing that they were meant to be just friends, and the warm, romantic feelings they’d harbored were familial affection. him, for a sister who had been hurt by her first relationship, and her, seeking for stability and comfort. 

but never once had she crossed his mind. not at first, because he’d only ever noticed her out of his peripheral vision. firstly, he’d known her as jaebum’s girlfriend, then mei’s best friend. then, as sehun’s girlfriend. she’d also had a fling with jackson sometime in between, but he didn’t really think about little things like that. she’d never been more to him than just a person who flitted between relationships, flitted in and out of hanging out with their friend group, but was very definitely part of their circle. he’d just never really thought her of anything other than just there. 

but at some point she’d started to be something to him. it had started with little flickering glances – this all while she was still with sehun. he’d felt like shit over it; that was his best friend’s girlfriend he kept looking at, and he told himself that it wasn’t okay. but it was hard because all too often, mei brought her along to their little hangouts. it was rare for any of them to miss a meeting, but they certainly grouped off into their own little groups within them. jinyoung and mei were rarely apart now, and youngjae often tagged along with them; the ravenclaw house. jaebum and jackson often stayed together; gryffindors. kunpimook and yugyeom; the youngest and the hufflepuffs. that often left him and jess together; this he could reason off as the slytherins. but the truth was that during these little house segregations, unintentional as they were, had him getting to know the seemingly intimidating slytherin girl. 

( she wasn’t. at all. )

he realized this on a day when mei had skipped down to the slytherin dorm, demanding to be let in ( he didn’t know why she demanded this when he knew that she had the password – jess had certainly given it to her. he supposed it was just to bother him, like an annoying sister ). with a groan, he rubbed at his eyes, yawning a bit as he texted her back grumpily, stumbling down to the common room to let her in, making a big deal of it despite the fact that he’d already been about to get up. about half an hour later, he saw a certain grumpy and barely awake-looking blonde slytherin girl with something mint colored in her arms, curled up on the end of a couch with a blanket draped over her lap, a distinctly angry look on her face, though it was softened by the look of extreme sleepiness ( and the bunny that seemed to be cuddling into her ). there was a space between her and the two on the other end of the couch, jinyoung offering him a small smile and a little wave, trying not to disturb the dozing girl on his shoulder. it seemed to be a consensus that it was far too early for them to be awake – hence the sleepy looking gryffindors who waved at him lazily, and the three youngest boys, piled on top of each other, a whimpering youngjae on the bottom. quietly, he seated himself in the empty space on the couch, his expression awkward and amused. 

“hey,” he mumbled in her direction, and the only thing he got in response was a grumbled greeting, her eyes unfocused, not looking at him at all. it wasn’t exactly surprising, but the slight drawing of her legs up so that there was just enough room for him to sit down. silently, he did so, glancing at the mint bunny cuddled up in her arms that was occasionally receiving sleepy kisses, and, awkward as usual, he just sat there, sneaking glances at the blonde girl he’d found occupying his thoughts more and more. 

( she seemed so open with the bunny in her arms, and the smile that he’d caught later when she thought no one was looking – he wanted to see that more. )

the next time he saw her, she looked dismayed. perhaps that wasn’t a strong enough word – but she was sitting in the room that their group frequented, and she looked like she’d been crying. his entrance was quiet, but not silent, and at first, she ignored his existence altogether, as though hoping if she didn’t acknowledge him, he’d go away. he, of course, did nothing of the sort, instead gingerly tiptoeing across to her, sitting down next to her. “are you okay?” his voice was soft, and although the question was probably the worst thing he could have asked, it still somehow didn’t sound condescending with the obvious tone of concern he had behind it. 

“yes,” she snapped angrily without turning to look at him, “i’m fucking fine, now just leave me alone –” her voice broke off and instead of continuing on, she shut up, burying her face in her arms. wait, was that a mint bunny poking out of her arms? it seemed like she carried the stuffed animal around everywhere she went; and yet he’d never seen it. perhaps she carried it around in her bag?

”um… what’s its name?” he gestured awkwardly at the bunny instead of accepting her insistence that she was fine, or merlin forbid, accuse her of lying. the truth was, he already knew why she was crying. or why she had been crying, rather. sehun hadn’t exactly been happy, coming back to the dorm. he knew why they were breaking up, too. there was very little sehun, mark being one of his best friends, hid from him, especially given mark’s gentle demeanor and the calmness he seemed to always have. while they both still clearly harbored fondness for each other, the love was gone. but even so, the severance of a year long relationship must have been a great shock… so here he was, trying to distract her. 

( of course, his own selfish feelings certainly played a part. )

two months passed and he found himself tumbling deeper and deeper. she seemed to soften up to him after a bit, and after a while, although she wouldn’t greet him immediately, he’d know that she had seen him because the little mint bunny would peek its head out and wave shyly at him. she did all this without even really glancing at him, and he couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face, every time. 

he asked her out on a snowy january morning when she’d been complaining about how the snow was freezing her feet and the cold was chilling her bones. slytherin scarf wrapped around her mouth and neck, a beanie tugged over short blonde hair, nose red from the cold – it wasn’t the most beautiful she’d ever looked. merlin, he definitely didn’t look his best either, pink-tinted blond hair wind-ruffled and messy, cheeks flushed from cold and laughter, and the look of surprise on her face was worth everything he hadn’t planned. he took her hands and she blushed – she’d always blame it on the cold later but he knew the truth – but didn’t throw him off, and he took that as a victory, tugging her into the three broomsticks for some much needed warmth. 

( he was on cloud nine, the coolness of her smaller hand enclosed in his. merlin, but he was in deep. )

“minty,” he cooed to the mint bunny that seemed to be staring expectantly up at him, his lips curving up in amusement as he tickled the tummy that had a few lines on it. his girlfriend seemed amused, making the bunny cover its tummy with a squeak of protest. he had to say that despite how she put up such a tough facade, it was funny how much of a childish personality she expressed through her bunny. 

he felt as though he’d been in a dream, the past few months like being in heaven, and he thanked merlin for whatever magic had been wrought to somehow make them compatible. he’d never thought of her as anything more than just someone who was there, someone who floated in and out of their friend group, and while she had always been there, she had always been inaccessible. somehow, they had worked out. sehun held no hard feelings, nor did jackson or jaebum or the countless other people she’d dated that he didn’t even care to know about. he, on the other hand, only had one past relationship to worry about, and it was clear that mei didn’t mind at all. 

leaning in, he dropped a kiss on the mint bunny’s head, lifting his head after that to press lips against his girlfriend’s, earning a glare that seemed very half-hearted. “stop being such a sap,” she grumbled, and he could only laugh, pressing her down into the pillows, peppering kisses over her face in a way that he could only ever do when they were alone. 

“you’re so gross, stop it–” she complained, swatting at his shoulder half-heartedly, but there was a smile on her face that betrayed her true intentions. 

( he loved her so much, he realized with a jolt. he wanted everything with her. )

“minty would be sad without his daddy,” he protested when she threatened to kill him, his eyes dancing with amusement and in all reality, he was just kidding. he didn’t mean it – he’d never referred to the little mint bunny as such, nor had she ever had the stuffed animal say anything like that to him. 

to his surprise, however, instead of refuting it, she just looked grumpy, glancing away. “shut up, idiot.” her voice was a low mutter and she lifted the bunny to cover her face. 

“hi daddy! i love you!” minty chirped happily, waving excitedly. he couldn’t help the laugh as he settled back, waving at the bunny contentedly. 

“hi, minty. i love you too, you and your mommy, lots and lots.” he grinned back, his heart light with adoration and he couldn’t help but think that merlin, maybe he wasn’t the only one who wanted more. 

( his heart clenched, light with hope and fear and everything at the same time. )

he proposed to her on a snowy day, so reminiscent of the way he had asked her out, all those years ago. this time, it was planned, but even so, his tongue tripped over words and he stammered out phrases in a language he knew like the back of his own hand but suddenly felt so foreign on his tongue. 

but the feeling of her in his arms was enough to make all the worry and the stress worth it. she was trembling slightly, and whether it was from the cold or from the emotions, he wasn’t entirely sure, but he figured it didn’t really matter. she was here, she’d said yes, and he was going to get the rest of his life with her. 

( “sap,” she grumbled later when they were safely warming up in the pub and he was shivering from having soaked his pants through. )

”why always on snowy days?”

”i wanted them to make you smile.”

[wistfulpetals]

insanity hongbin/jessica || loosely based off black butler.

his days are always filled with the duties of a butler who lives in a mansion far too big for the few number of staff who actually reside there. of all the staff who work there, however, he is the one who is closest to their mistress. he serves her breakfast in the morning, helps her to dress, teaches her lessons, accompanies her on walks – he is her constant companion from sunup to sundown. the rest of the staff fulfill their own duties, often unrelated to the mistress. his sole duty is to fill her day, to protect her; the others will ensure the smooth running of the house.

he is not human, no matter how human he appears. a demon from the deepest depths of hell, she summoned him in a moment where she had nothing else to lose, trapped in her lowest moments and in the torments of her own mind, screaming and terrified of the men who appeared like demons, tearing away everything she could have ever held dear. she was trapped in her mind, living and reliving those torturous moments in her thinking and in her dreaming. there was no peace, not for her, and it was in that terror and desperation to finally rid herself of her demons that she summoned him. 

he does not love. he is incapable of it, to feel that human emotion that stirs in the depths of his non-existent heart (and therein lies the true problem, he has no heart, how can he possibly feel human emotion?), to feel such things like pity and empathy. her tears at the beginning had only amused him, his lips curling into a smirk that seemed all too at place on his stunningly handsome human face. he’d agreed to fulfill her contract out of curiosity, to see just how far she would allow herself to fall. after all, the higher they are, the harder they fall, and she had only been a child, the most innocent of souls. how delicious it would taste when she finally fell, so dark that it could never be saved again – 

a breath passes pink lips, bitten red in a human habit he’d developed for absolutely no reason at all, red eyes glinting as he strides down the hallway to the bedroom of his mistress. mistress, he calls her, but her hair is short, cropped like a boy’s, delicate features not quite betraying her true nature, and her clothes lay to the side, designed to mask the fact that she’s really a girl. girls are never taken seriously in the real world, after all, and she has a business to run, in a day and age where women amount to very little. 

his fingers trail across porcelain skin, his lips curling into the smirk she knows better than anyone, velvety voice calling for her to awaken. lashes flutter, squinting a little against the sunlight that streams into the room, her sleepy brown eyes opening after a few moments of silent protest. he bids her good morning, dulcet tones floating into her ears, and he finds, oddly enough, that the way she smiles at him in the morning, like she never does at other times of the day, causes an unfamiliar twinge in his chest. 

feelings he can’t place words to, for how can he possibly place words to things he doesn’t understand in the slightest? he ignores them, helping her up and into her clothing for the day, binding her chest before he does anything else, dressing in the full outfit she wears daily, trousers, a shirt, the light grey vest that settles over the crisp white shirt. he ties the cravat for her, tucking it in quietly and the coat comes on last, settling on shoulders not quite broad enough to support the breadth. a hat on her head and the walking stick pressed into her hand completes the look, and he bows slightly, saying my lord instead of my lady as he does, every morning. 

watching her as she strides out of her bedroom and towards her study, he wonders whether the past twelve years he’d spent with her had influenced him in some way. he’d watched her grow up, after all, watched her mature from the frightened child she had been, completely dependent on him, to the confident woman who lived life as a man, and yet in front of him, at night and in the mornings, showed her rarely seen feminine side. 

she demands a pot of tea, and he bows his head, obliging, stepping away to fetch the cart from the kitchen, bringing it back to her with breakfast. during the day, she demands things of him, in the imperious way she’d learned over the years, and he, he simply obeys them in his quiet way, though his smirk challenges her at times, only to be met by her steely gaze, hardened over the years. and always, at that, his smirk widens before it disappears obediently. oh, how she has matured over the years, and he longs to taste, but he always restrains himself. 

but no matter what, despite her coolness during the day, her orders to him like that of a master to a servant, it’s at night that she softens. before he lifts her covers, she always looks up at him, dressed in one of his loose, soft shirts that swallows her frame and makes her look even more petite than she already seems next to him, and he feels the oddest sensations in his chest. 

sometimes he thinks he might love her. probably just in the way that he really, really, wants to eat her soul, but sometimes he thinks that maybe it’s more than that. then in the next moment, he remembers that he’s a demon, he doesn’t do petty things like love, and what he’s feeling is nothing more than a fleeting memory that will disappear sooner rather than later, in the eternal life he lives. 

but every time she flashes that god damned smile at him, his non-existent heart betrays him and he stares dumbstruck. her smile could light up the darkest pits of hell, he thinks, and despite it being everything he doesn’t want, it’s everything he can’t somehow seem to resist. 

the first time it happens, he thinks that no one is more surprised than he is. he pulls away with the taste of her on his lips, still tingling slightly from the pressure of her lips against his. she stares up at him, all wide eyes and shock written into her face, and he inhales slowly before he finds himself being tugged down slowly, another slow press of lips against him, and this time he gives up, completely surrenders, leaning into the beautiful tangle he’s let himself fall into.

it becomes a habit for him, to steal that warm pressure he’s come to treasure in a way, his eyes closing and a soft exhale leaving his lips as he lets her steal his lips. sometimes he feels empty without her, as though she’s stolen a part of her soul back, the contract that they once held so reverently taking a spot on the back burner to the ridiculous new fantasy he’s found, simultaneously destroying and rebuilding him at the same time. he’s a fool, he knows, he’s being played, everything he’s feeling is weakness, and yet there’s something in his heart (for sometimes he thinks he might have developed one after all these years) that aches when he thinks of what it’ll be like after she’s gone.

he wonders how in the world something like her could have captured him, ensnared him so fully that he feels like he doesn’t even know which way is up. he’s been caught in her tangled web, so much so that despite his own power, he finds himself falling at the touch of a finger. it’s no longer just their contract that binds them. 

she is a blind spider, weaving her web unknowingly around him, and he’s the fly that’d unwittingly been caught in her trap – lost and confused until it’s too late to escape. with a groan, he surrenders himself to her, letting her slip her voice into his mind, her kisses chaining him down as surely as iron and silver, until he is bound to her, hand and foot. 

him, a powerful demon, chained by a simple human. the thought is laughable, twenty years ago he would have scoffed at the idea; but here he is, so completely fucked because he no longer holds the ability to break free. 

“kiss me, hongbin.” her voice is soft, sleepy, and he can’t help it when he leans in obediently to oblige her. he would have done it even if she hadn’t asked, but the sleepy smile she gives him after he fulfills her request is somehow even more satisfying than the pleasant surprise she still gets in her eyes when he touches their lips together unexpectedly. 

“do you love me?” she asks quietly, her eyes focused on his, tired but still sharp, focused, and he can’t find words to say at that question. after many silent moments, she turns her head away, a small smile on her face, but it’s resigned and sad, her lips curved up slightly at the corners, and she shakes her head slightly. “it’s okay.” 

but what bothers him hours, days later, is the fact that he hadn’t replied right away. the answer should have been simple. “no,” he should have responded right away, and yet he hadn’t. “do you love me?” the question echoes in his mind the next few days as he goes through the motions, bringing her breakfast, dressing her, kissing her before bedtime, and even then, he still doesn’t have an answer. 

“no, i don’t love you.” he tries to answer at night, but the words stick in his throat and threaten to choke him, and he himself is surprised. 

“no, i cannot love.” he tries the next night, but that doesn’t come out either, and he stares at her bedcovers, her petite figure barely shifting the blankets. 

“no, demons don’t –” and he stops himself there before he clenches his fists in the bedsheets. “fuck,” he hisses, and his eyes squeeze shut, “i love you and i hate you because i’m not even supposed to know what the hell love is and yet you –” he chokes out a startled sound as she pulls him down into a warm kiss, shutting him up quite effectively.

”shut up, hongbin.” she whispers against his lips, and he closes his eyes silently, obediently letting her kiss him into silence. despite how absolutely fucked he is, he thinks wryly to himself that of all people he had to be tied to, perhaps falling in love with her wasn’t such a bad thing after all. he might be insane, but at least he isn’t alone.

[dreamribbons]

wake up call

Her slumber was interrupted by tones that she’d grown far too accustomed to, the voice filtering gently into her mind as she unwillingly stirred from the clutches of sleep. “Good morning, my lady.” Her butler’s voice sank into her mind and she could only groan, rolling over and steadfastly ignoring Hongbin’s voice. “Today’s tea is Darjeeling.” He said quietly as he poured a cup for his mistress who was still refusing to acknowledge his presence. “For breakfast, smoked salmon and pain de campagne, accompanied with an assortment of fresh fruits.”

“Hongbin, go away…” Her voice came out from under the blankets, always refusing to wake up when he first called for her.

“Unfortunately, my lady, you have engagements shortly and lessons today to attend.” He replied calmly, his voice never faltering as he set the cup of tea carefully down on the tray he’d brought into the room, currently resting on the unfolded stand.

“Five more minutes, then…” She grumbled unhappily, and his soft laughter echoed around the sparsely decorated room.

“You said that five minutes ago, and five minutes before that, my lady. It is now time to arise.” He said, leaning over to tug the mint stuffed bunny out of his mistress’ arms, knowing that it would get her at least sitting up, if only in anger.

Predictably, she shot to a sitting position, her expression startled and angry. “What the fuck, Lee Hongbin —!” She exclaimed, snatching for the bunny that her butler easily kept out of her grasp.

“Language, my lady.” He chastised gently with a shake of his head and his lips curved up at the corners. “It wouldn’t do to have any of your guests hear that, coming from the head of the household.” His eyes were dancing with amusement as he dangled the stuffed bunny just out of her reach, knowing that if nothing else could, the loss of her most treasured bedtime companion could. “It is time to arise, now. I’d suggest you start before I am forced to do something we’ll both regret, my lady.” With the most innocent (and devilish, all at the same time) smile on his face, he made as though to rip the poor stuffed bunny’s arm from its body.

“No!” She shouted, scrambling out of bed hastily and lunging for her bunny, her eyes glinting. She’d seen the fear in the bunny’s eyes as it was threatened — never mind that it wasn’t actually a living thing and therefore could not be afraid, the bunny was as good as a friend to her.

His purpose accomplished, he easily handed the bunny back to her, making the bed so the option of crawling back into bed was eliminated, gesturing for her to sit down on the edge of the bed as he always did. “Now, my lady, I suggest you begin on breakfast. Your violin tutor will arrive in just under an hour and a half.” He checked his watch, his lips curving up in a rather sadistic smile. “Oh. I lied. You only have an hour. Have a wonderful day, my lady. I will return shortly.” He snickered faintly as he swept out of the room, ignoring the indignant shout from behind him.

“What the fuck?!”

[jaemyuns]

wanderlust binsica; the thing is, my plan didnt account for meeting you slight mentions of taekmei, jongara, saxing and jaedine if you squint also hi vixx again

notes: i’m– i dont even know. a lot of this is based all over the world but i specifically made it so that home (aka where everyone actually lives) can be anywhere. i didnt want to stick people in a single place. could be seoul, could be antartica, could very well be the molten centre of the world. choice is yours, really. inspired by a lot of music here x x x x x x (i should probably just make an 8track, hey. BLEGH, MAYBE LATER WHEN I’M BOTHERED) aND YEAH. i dont really know hongbin so excuse discrepancies. i just like to think he’s a really nice, polite guy. IDK IF THAT WRONG, WOOPS.

notes edit 1: this started off as a long distance thing but turned into hongbin travelling the world aND THEN I DONT KNOW AFTER THAT WOOPS, MY BAD. this was originally supposed to be from second person but fuck if i know what happened half way through this–excuse any mistakes in grammar. it should be her/she instead of you, if you find anything weird!

hongbin had always had plans. finish his degree. get into journalism. graduate with honours. travel the world. that was his checklist, for as long as he could remember. 

“have fun” she says, her smile is happy, though he can tell that that was not what she wanted to say, “go shake your foundations”

“why the long face?” he cant help but ask, tipping her chin so that she looked up at him.

“i didnt think you would be leaving so soon, you know, after i thought you were kind of interested in me”

shes surprised to find him laughing. "kind of interested in you,“ he laughs, as if he can’t believe what he’s hearing. "i’m kind of interested in photography and ancient roman warfare. you don’t use words like kind of interested to describe how i feel about you.”

“then why are you going?” 

“it’s like you have a plan and someone comes along and makes you want to change it all, but you still like your first plan, no matter how fantastic the second one makes you feel” his hands raise to cup her cheeks in his palms, “i’ll be back before you even realise, i promise” 

-

she stands beside wonshik, who stands beside his father, who stands beside the rest of the extended family that bids the two young entrepreneurs off into the new world. the idea of travelling the world was always a tempting one, more so for her (now) boyfriend than herself, but she can’t help the feeling of longing, though he was still right there.

“i’ll miss you” she say, that much was obvious. there’s a moment, between jaehwan’s excessive crying and taekwoon’s deadpan attempt to quieten him, where he pulls her aside and she can’t help but ask, “if i asked you to stay, would you?” 

“i would,” hongbin replies, placing a kissing onto her cheek, “but i know you wouldn’t”

with a final hug, he disappears behind the doors, dragging wonshik off with him.

-

the ring tone breaks through the dead of night and, had someone not kicked her out of bed to answer it, it would have gone straight to voicemail. when she answer, she half-wished that it did.

“jess!” a voice sing-songs, “jess-si-ca~!” each syllable was accentuated in a way that made it obvious to anyone with ears that they were drunk, “je! si! ca!”

“what do you want wonshik–” pulling the screen back a fraction, noting the time, “it’s 3am”

“just calling to let you know that bin-bin-binnie!” the use of nickname, also, tells that they had been drinking vodka, something that everyone agreed was to be avoided, “has gotten a tattoo in your honour. miss you and, what?, you want me to say what?, oh!, bin said, wish you were here” 

dumbfounded, she sets the phone aside, falling back asleep in a moment, intending to pretend the entire thing was a dream.

the next morning, she wakes up to seven message from four different people all holding fifteen different photos from twelve different angles of her boyfriends ‘hb♡jn’ tattoo now eternally plastered on his ass. 

-

three months into the trip, she makes it a point to visit his mother as regularly as possible, knowing that the space left by her son was felt by both. his mother her greets her with the same friendly smile, pulling her into a tight hug, and ushering her into the house with every intent to feed her until she leaves.

today, however, the house seemed alive with an extra step. eventually she finds out that hongbin had been on a skype call with his mother all morning, all too happy to be seeing his family, even through a screen.

entering the room, she catches the end of a sentence, “i don’t think jessica would like that–”

“you don’t think i would like what?” she asks, innocently, glancing from her to the screen, to her boyfriend who looked like he had been caught in headlights, “no, really, what?”

his voice is static, quickly backtracking a not entirely obvious situation, “nothing–!”

“i was going to head home,” the stare remains for a moment, turning to his mother with a friendly smile, “thank you for everything. i’ll see you on sunday for lunch?” 

after she wishes her goodbye and babbles a long speech about not being a stranger, she prepares to leave, though not without catching the beginning of another confusing sentence, “you know what she would really like? for you to come home”

-

you have six new messages.

beep! hi babe! just calling in from london, letting you know that we landed safely and that–(mother fucker! ha! muh-thur-fuck-her!)–jaehwan you–beep!

beep! ok going to try again. hi babe! calling in from london, letting you know that we landed safely and are in our hotel room right now. we’re going to head out to lunch in a few minutes. i wanted to organise my–(suck my dick, fucker! ha! ha! sah-ck-ma-deek-fuh-ker!)–can someone–yah!–wonshik–get him out of here–! beep!

beep! hi babe! checking in from london, letting you know that we landed safely and are in our hotel room. i’m organising my cameras right now–(what does this mean? shithead? sheet-hee-ad! ha! shit head!)–i can’t–beep!

beep! okay, i’m in the bathroom right now, hopefully jaehwan doesnt find me in here. but, yeah, just checking in from london! we’re all safe and other than a bit of jetlag we’re all good–NO! JAEHWAN!–GET OUT OF–NO–WHAT ARE YOU–beep!

beep! IN LONDON, WE SAFE, NO, HI JESS, IT’S JAEHWAN, MY ENGLISH GOOD, NO, FUCK, GOOD, MOTHER FUCKER, SHITHEAD, SUCK MY DICK, WE–what the–jaehwan–what are you doing–get off my phone–did you call–jaehwan–ow!–beep!

beep! i love you. wish you were here. beep!

-

while sitting at a cafe, listening to the messages over again, the barista comes over to see what the commotion was about. “my boyfriend is travelling the world–” she begins to explain, to which he responds, “so you’re the famous jessica”

her body naturally leans away in surprise, “the famous jessica?”

“yeah, the girls talk about you all the time. nadine says that if jaehwan doesn’t stop ruining hongbin’s plans, she’s going to bash his head in with a–hey–what did you say you were going to do to jaehwan?”

without lifting her head, nadine replies, “bash his head in with a pole!” as if on cue, the question carries her over, a tray of glasses landing on the bench before them, “are we talking bin and jess? because i am so down to talk about that”

“can we not–”

“question,” she lifts the phone from her hands without warning, unabashedly opening up instagram, clicking over onto his account, and scrolling through his feed, “what is up with all the weird photos of him holding nothing?”

“oh,” she ducks her head, embarrassed, never having to explain the situation aloud before, “he does that because i’m not there”

they both stare at, waiting for an explanation. 

“that space–” she points to where he stands beside an invisible person, his arm hanging in the air over nothing, “–that’s supposed to be where i would stand if i was there” 

-

the very next day, a large bouquet of a hundred white roses ends up on her doorstep a week after she return. unsure of how it got there, more so, that it was near impossible to get this many roses together without offering an arm or two, she picks the accompanying card slowly.

from london to miami to the seas of lesvos, i’ll always wish you were here. 

-

glancing at the the phone, she realises that they had been on the call for well over three hours. there’s a chuckle on her end of the world, to which he asks: “what’s so funny?”

“when was the last time we spoke for three hours. straight?”

through the silence she can imagine him shrug. broad shoulders lifting, while his head tilts and his lips curve into one of the many brilliant smiles he owns. there is a sleepiness to his tones, blinks of sleep sacrificed in his laugh, his slow, almost arduous speech. “go to sleep” she pushes, softly, though internally she wants him to stay on the line just a little bit longer.

“no,” he retorts, a yawn framing the second half of the one syllable word, “i want to stay up and talk to you. tell me about your day”

“again?” her laughs joins the midday sun that lights up her window, “you dont want to hear about what i have planned again”

“then read from an encyclopaedia or the dictionary. i just want to hear your voice” 

i miss you, i miss you, i miss you.

her laugh is half-hearted, entirely weighed to the reality of his words. "go to sleep, bin” she says. 

“you just want to get rid of me” his voice was now entirely framed by a yawn. he realises that she was right and he was fighting a losing battle. “okay, okay. good night. i love you”

“love you too. goodnight–”

“wish you were here. i really do, you know. every place i go to, every sight that we see. i wish you were here”

-

during a slower period of the evening, hongbin mulls over his coffee, “it was supposed to be a surprise but her surprise doesnt coincide with my surprise”

taekwoon glances over at him, his voice quiet as it always is, “what happened?

“i wanted to surprise her, you know, come home for a weekend. it was probably my fault because she was going to come out to me for a weekend, to surprise me. i leave for lesvos the same day she arrives. what do i do taek?”

“go surprise her before her surprise, surprises you”

hongbin actually has the audacity to look confused, no thanks to the blank expression on the others face.

“for a smart kid, you really don’t understand romance. go surprise her. you have the money. change your flight. there is a window where your times overlap. go surprise her. you idiot.”

-

he runs through the airport, jumping over turn styles and rushing through throngs of people, to make it to her gate in time. he searches aisles for you, any sign that you was close.

“bin?”

and suddenly he’s there in front of you, confusion causing her to stand still on her feet. he isn’t sure if she’s happy to see him or worried because his appearance has changed so much (what is a razor blade anymore?) but he scoops her up in his arms, hugging her tight, without words.

“bin–” was all she could manage, returning the hug, before her name is called over the system, urging her to board her plane, “bin–!”

“i’ll follow you!” he calls to her, “wherever you go, i’ll follow!”

-

they’re seated around a small fire in the camps of lesvos, the moon shining brightly on them, sharing a bottle of an unidentified type of alcohol, discussing what waits for them at home.

hakyeon had left home to be a missionary, signing with the unhcr fresh out of high school and almost immediately uprooting his entire life for one in lesvos. sanghyuk followed because he couldn’t see himself doing much else.

hongbin is surprised to find a number of the other camp workers were married and, more so, had left behind lives with children and wives to do something better for the world. he can’t help but marvel at how seemingly easy it was for them to do so.

“it’s not easy,” a fellow much older than him says, taking a swig from the bottle, and passing it towards wonshik, “it’s a lot of communication”

“yeah,” another says, “piece of advice kid? tell her that you love her. or him. whatever. tell them every. single. day. she might not say it, but she wants to hear it. trust me. communication is key”

by the time the bottle makes its round back to him, he has a retort on his lips, though hakyeon beats him to the punch.

"he doesn’t need to. he might be introverted and arrogant and an awkward whale at times, but ask him where he sees himself in ten years and without missing a beat he’ll always reply with: wherever jessica is”

-

when he eventually makes it out to dallas, he’s met with a large scale barbecue to commemorate the event. he’s surprised to find a lot of jessica’s friends there to greet him. as the afternoon continues, jongup calls him over to the barbecue. the two had met briefly last summer when they had visited home together, though, due to both being introverts, not a lot of conversation was had. 

“how long are you guys planning to stay out here?” hongbin asks, sipping from his drink, glancing at the decorated backyard that housed near a hundred people.

jongup shrugs, flipping a patty. “don’t know. it’s up to that one” he takes the tongs and points to where an excited arazely was conversing with her mother. at that exact moment she glances up, notices the two looking at her, and shoots a finger gun at them. on cue, her boyfriend reacts by clutching his chest, as if she had actually shot him, making adorably pained expressions as he does. 

“i’d follow that girl to the end of the world, i would”

hongbin laughs. he knows the feeling.

“what about you? you’ve been gone a while. heading home soon?”

this time he doesnt laugh. 

“i still have so much of the world to see but…”

“…but you want to see it with her” 

“you know, hongbin, if i was you” jongup had never been much a conversationalist. small talk was never his forte. tiny changes in his persona, his mood, were obvious and this time was no different. the only thing missing was a giant sign plastered to his forehead that said sudden serious conversation, hongbin thinks. “i’d go home and work on my plans. fix them so that i can still do all the things i want to do but with the person i want to do those things with. you know?” and, without warning, jongup returns to his normally bubbly self, “but i’m not you and my plans have always just been fixed on one single variable”

-

later that evening, when the music has begun to wind down and only couples slow dancing to instrumentals are left on the dance floor, he gives her a call. theres an excitement when she answers, though to his disappointment, she wasn’t alone.

“hi bin!” mei greets when the image materialises, “how are you?”

“i’m good. is-is jess there?” behind her, taekwoon comes into view, his smile not a hundred percent annoyed but it was obvious he was being forced into it, “hey taek. you look happy?”

“they made me close the cafe early so we could answer this–ow! what was that for?” he turns to look at something beyond the screen as another serviette holder flies towards his head, “stop throwing things at me!” he disappears after that, going to punish whoever decided to hurt him, mei following suit, finally leaving his girlfriend alone on the call. 

“hi beautiful” he breathes, smiling, just happy to see her.

she laughs, “hi yourself. aren’t you at arazely’s barbecue? why are you calling me and don’t say it’s because you wish i was there!”

“i missed you” beyond him, he hears sarah and yixing call him to the dance floor, and he raises a hand to signify that he needs a moment, “and, well, i do wish you were here. it’s nothing but couples dancing to maroon five” 

“it’s not much better here,” she turns the camera over to show mei and taekwoon standing by the counter, heads tilted towards each other, discussing in quiet whispers something important. she laughs every few moments and there is a light on his face that brightens when she does. they always credit that smile to her presence, to which, taekwoon will always disagree with, even if he had privately admitted that there was some truth to it. “kinda wish you were here, too” 

“what if i was?” 

“what if you were what?”

“what if i came home early?” he asks, though in the distance he hears someone holler, fight me taekwoon 1v1, followed closely by the voice of youngjae saying, not again, and knows that the question goes unheard.

theres a lot of laughter and he hears the unmistakeable sound of tables being flipped over, “they’re fighting again. i’ll call you later tonight, okay? have fun at the barbecue and dance a lot for me!” 

then the call goes silent. as he stands to join the others on the dance floor, excitedly singing along to justin timberlake, the ideas remains. what if he just went home. 

-

“it’s freezing” she mutters into the phone, huddled in her jacket, standing on the balcony, the only barrier between the phone call and a party happening inside, “where are you?”

“driving” he replies, glancing from side to side, searching for the address, “its pretty sunny here in tokyo” 

“ha. ha. funny. you’re in tokyo and i miss you? two birds with one stone, bin, two birds” 

“i knew that would make you laugh,” he always liked the sound of her sarcasm, “why dont you just go inside? its not worth talking to me if you’re going to catch a cold”

“but i want to talk to you” she whines and he knows that, this time, she was the one a little bit intoxicated, “plus i would rather avoid seeing all my friends cuddling with their boyfriends while mine is an ocean away” 

“true” he tries to quietly shut the door behind him, ducking from viewing as he enters the apartment building, “if only there was some kind of magic that could teleport me there”

“why isnt the government funding this?” her laugh is cut short by a hiccup and he knows she quickly regrets that shot she had, “sorry hiccups”

he laughs, resisting the urge to verbally coo over how adorable she was, he had a reputation to uphold and he wanted this to be a surprise. “bad reception, i’ll call you back okay?” and he quickly hangs up without warning. 

-

staring offended at the phone, she pockets it, turning to enter the room again. however, standing beyond the glass door, waving at her, with the same awkward smile that she missed every day for the past year, was her boyfriend.

“mi cielito, mi sol, min tesero” 

“hongbin–!” the doors flies open and she leaps into his arms. behind them, nadine is laughing, mei is cooing over the adorable nature of the two and the entire party stops to appreciate the couple, “what are you–weren’t you–why are you here–?”

“i had the choice between seeing the pyramids or seeing you”

“and you chose me?”

“of course. monday, tuesday, everyday” 

-

"wait,” she says suddenly, raising her head from where it lay on his chest, “where is wonshik? wasn’t he with you?”

“oh yeah… wonshik… huh… forgot about him…”

“you lost him?!”

“i left him in rome!” he quickly explains, laughing at her shock, “he met a nice italian girl. i’m not sure if he’ll ever come home.”

-

“ready?” she asks, fixing his collar one last time before boarding, “i still dont know why you want to go see the world again”

he shrugs, kissing her cheek, “i’ve always wanted to travel the world twice. first, to see the world”

“and second?”

“to see the world the way you see it. that was always the plan.”

[wingjyun]

3 o’clock in the morning rabin

he thinks of loud laughter, of gentle fingers, of wispy blond hair. 

he thinks of slanted eyes that are always dancing, of beautiful lips that part to show an even more beautiful smile, of his favorite face. 

he thinks of the days they spend together and he thinks of what the other male might be doing just now. he wonders if he’s writing again, in his notebook that he’s always carrying around with him, the notebook that’s tattered from all the times it’s been dropped, the notebook that’s been so doodled on that it’s not even obvious where one stick figure drawing starts and where it ends, the notebook that is full of scribbles and writing and lyrics and hopes and dreams for the future. he wonder what he might be writing in it, if he’s ever featured in anything and he makes a soft sound, staring at the dark ceiling of his room. 

he can’t sleep. 

he finds himself thinking about the other male again, and he likes to think that they could be called friends. best friends maybe, or, maybe not. he thinks that if they’re best friends than he wouldn’t have a chance at this whole crush-turned-into-relationship thing, but honestly, he didn’t actually think he had a chance in the first place. 

he likes to think that maybe he does. 

to: hongbin from: wonshik >>> hey, can u bring ur camera 2mrw????  02:58:37

to: wonshik from: hongbin >>> its 3a.m. why are you awake?  02:59:00

to: hongbin from: wonshik >>> culd ask u the same thing  02:59:44

he thinks of quiet hangouts, of listening to half-finished compositions, of a low voice that sends shivers up his spine. 

he thinks of the photos he had taken secretly, of candid shots that make them seem happy, of his phone wallpaper that he never shows anyone. 

he doesn’t know if they’re thinking of the same thing, or if it’s just a coincidence, but he feels his heart leap a little bit in his chest, his stomach lurching with hidden butterflies and he stares at the text messages, wondering what in the world had prompted the other to text him at this time of night. he wishes it was the same reason why he was still awake, staring up at his dark ceiling, little glow-in-the-dark stars showing in odd areas. 

to: wonshik from: hongbin >>> just thinking about stuff haha. yeah i’ll bring my camera  03:04:15

to: hongbin from: wonshik >>> ty! whatchu thinking bout???? 03:04:29

he thinks of confessions, of rejections, of heart breaks and he deletes what he had typed out in reply, shaking his head as he stops himself from saying something, from starting something or maybe ending something, all because he’s too scared. 

he’s scared to let something this important slip away and he vaguely wonders what would happen if he ever slipped up enough to confess accidentally. 

he doesn’t want to think about it. 

to: wonshik from: hongbin >>> you deleted

to: wonshik from: hongbin >>> nothing! you should sleep! goodnight ~ 03:07:32

he stares up at the ceiling, feeling like the stars plastered up there from when he was six years old were mocking him. 

he thinks of being sad, of being alone. he thinks of not having someone so important in his life. he thinks of being lonely.

he doesn’t end up sleeping.

[dreamribbons]

night time rituals

[wingjyun]

dreamribbons:

A soft hum left his lips, his hands absently shaking the white dress shirt straight as he stepped delicately into his mistress’ room. “You should be getting ready for bed, my lady.” He chastised the young lady who still sat determinedly at the wide desk her room housed.

A soft groan of protest was the only answer he received from her before a sullen voice came. “How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that, Hongbin?” She arched a delicate eyebrow, though her complaint was something long heard and something that Hongbin rather made a point of ignoring. After all, she was his mistress, bound by a Faustian contract, the symbol of which graced her left collarbone, the lines delicately tied to her pale skin. For the moment, she was his everything, the pivot upon which his universe rotated.

“As many times as you would like, my lady.” He replied easily, his lips quirking up in a small smile as he carefully laid the shirt over her lap, undoing the dress that she wore for her, a fancy thing that she loathed but tradition dictated she wear. The sight of her body, lovely as it was, showed no signs of affecting him, the butler long accustomed to the vision. Once she had dressed herself in the oversized shirt she favored so, he held the chair in front of her dressing table for her to seat herself in, the mirror bearing witness to her slender figure. His fingers tangled into soft black hair, loosening the silky strands from the elegant updo he’d twisted her hair into in the morning, and long strands fell around his fingers in a cascade of ebony. His fingers combed through the waterfall of silk, untangling the few knots that had accumulated over the course of the day, tying it off carefully into a ponytail that hung straight down her back, the ribbon a light shade of blue, his own auburn hair falling into his eyes as he helped her stand up.

Slim fingers brushed against his forehead, and he watched as she lifted a hand to brush the auburn strands out of crimson eyes, her own lips quirking up slightly. “You look stupid.” She told him nonchalantly, her voice cool and her expression disinterested, her butler’s lips curving up at the corners, clearly taking no offense to the statement.

“Thank you, my lady.” His voice held the hints of amusement, ignoring the heavy sigh she gave off, this routine altogether too common in the household.

“You’re an idiot, Hongbin. Stop talking.” She commanded with a long suffering sigh, glancing away from him as she climbed into bed, the edges of one of his dress shirts that she’d taken to using as pajamas fluttering around her thighs.

“As you wish, miss.” He bantered back easily, pressing his lips together deliberately, a hint of amusement dancing in his eyes as he held back the covers for her, tucking the blankets around her.

“Such an idiot…” She sighed quietly, laying her head down on the pristine pillows, peering up at her butler through now-sleepy eyes. “Give me a kiss, Hongbin.” It was a demand, something not borne out of love, per say, but affection nonetheless, reciprocated as best as the demon butler could. He was fond of her, and while they had not been bound together long enough for him to claim any sort of deep emotional connection to her, he could honestly say that he was protective of her (one might argue that the contract dictated he needed to be) and that her presence was pleasing to him. Of all humans to have summoned him, he thought his luck had been rather good. And she — she liked him perhaps more than she’d ever like to admit, a hidden affection that manifested itself in demands that Hongbin never seemed to mind fulfilling.

Obediently, he leaned in, pressing his lips gently against hers, a hand sliding into her hair and deftly undoing the ribbon, silk spreading across the pillows, and he felt her lips move gently against his, though she did not lift her head, a slim hand snaking into his own hair, tugging gently at auburn strands. When they parted, she sighed softly against his lips, a sleepy little sound escaping her, and he straightened, smiling slightly as he tucked her hair behind her ear.

“Goodnight, my lady. Sleep well.” He wished quietly as he took a half step away from the bed, pausing as he felt fingers clutching at his, her face turned away from him. When no explanation was forthcoming, he raised an eyebrow, “my lady?” Her title was phrased as a question, the sound lilting up at the end and she exhaled softly, a barely-there puff of air, before an answer forced its way past reluctant lips.

“Stay with me until I fall asleep.” Her voice was barely audible, and he smiled slightly in response, seating himself on the edge of the bed, capturing her fingers more securely in his own.

“Yes, my lady.”

[wingjyun]

pink post-its because yolo and mei’s going to kill me anyway so why not. plus she’s admitted her bias and i’m annoying like this so yA

shout out to jae ( sugarkookies ) for the prompt, you da real mvp

"do you see that girl over there?” jinyoung whispers to mark once they’ve both been sitting in the library for almost an hour. they were supposed to be studying, but he had been completely distracted the entire time. even mark was surprised, considering jinyoung was usually the one out of the two of them that was much more studious. 

“the blonde? i know her,” he points out, thinking her name was jess -- or something along those lines. they shared a few classes and had joked once that their hair colors were too similar to be a coincidence. mark considers offering to introduce the two of them, though, he thinks she has a boyfriend. he’s seen her with him a lot, a guy that’s taller than him and has a friendly, dimpled smile. he opens his mouth to make his offer. “i could --” 

“-- no! not the blonde. the one beside her, with glasses?” 

mark turns his attention to the girl sitting next to the blonde and he nods. she’s cute, he thinks, in a cute, nerdy sort of way with her big glasses and bangs but he, of course, is still trying to figure out whether jess was actually taken or not. for science, of course. “what about her?” 

“what do you mean what about her? she’s so cute! she’s perfect, i want to talk to her,” jinyoung whines and mark can’t help but laugh, shaking his head. his friend is always overdramatic, but this was a bit much. they had been in the library every day for the past week or so, and now he knew why the younger male had been so distracted the entire time. 

“then go talk to her?” 

“no, i’m scared.” 

mark sighs, flipping through his binder before tossing a stack of bright pink post-it notes onto his friend’s binder as he turns his attention to the shelves behind him. 

“what are these for?” 

“i dunno, do what you want with them.” 

he stands up to go look for a book, chuckling to himself. “you realize that glasses girl has literally gotten up like ten times since we got here, right? go do something with those. i don’t use the pink ones anyway,” he shoots back before he moves to the shelves, fingers raising to look for a book, running along the spines. he really hopes jinyoung does something before he decides to kill him for pining. 

-- 

he doesn’t do anything that day, unable to build up the nerve to do anything despite having already written a little note on the bright pink post-it. 

but the next time he’s in the library, he chooses a different spot so as to be able to drop the little note onto whatever book she was reading -- or perhaps her notebook. her blonde friend is there, but she’s on her laptop with earphones in and seemingly completely not paying attention to the world. (jinyoung thinks she must be there more for moral support than to actually help with the studying. he’s seen her take the earphones out every half hour and he thinks she’s probably timing her friend.) 

when the girl stands up, he makes sure that the blonde girl -- he thinks her name is jess, if mark wasn’t wrong -- isn’t looking at him before he sticks the bright pink post-it onto the open notebook, taking a quick glance at the notes, then running quickly back to the table he was residing at. 

watching from under his bangs when she comes back, jinyoung has to fight to hide his smile and he carefully covers his mouth, casual and subtle. he sees her eyes widen as she reads the note, just a quick scribble of ‘hey! just dropping by to tell you i think you’re super cute and i hope you have a good day! (:’ and he can’t help the little, internal, cheer he gives when her cheeks promptly flush and she hits her friend. he leans forward in an attempt to eavesdrop, thinking he would have to thank mark for the post-it idea eventually. 

“ow, what the fuck? you’re supposed to be studying --”

“jess -- did you do this?” 

the post-it is waved in the blonde’s -- jess’ -- face and she scowls at her friend, snatching it to read it before she raises an incredulous eyebrow, snorting as if she couldn’t believe that she would be asked that question. 

“mei, does that look like my writing? why the fuck would i be hitting on you?” 

mei. he had seen the name ‘megan’ written on her notebook but now that he had heard her friend call her something else ... he couldn’t stop thinking about it now. mei, mei, mei. there’s a smile on his face, and he pulls out the post-it notes again, careful to keep them hidden behind the book he was reading as he scribbles another note, thinking he’ll leave this one in a little bit, when mei gets up to grab another book. 

he waits a long while, she seems to have enough books right now, and he actually ends up studying a little bit before he sees movement, watching as she stands up with all her books. jess isn’t there, it seems she’s gone to the washroom or something, maybe to grab a drink, and he pounces on this opportunity. 

‘you have a really nice smile!’ this note reads and he shifts to stand at a bookshelf as he waits for her return, humming as he flicks through a random book from his newly chosen vantage point. he’s surprised when she brushes past him to head back to the table, and his eyes widen in surprise, clutching at his chest and he turns away. never had he thought he would be in such close proximity to her -- his heart is thudding crazily in his chest, peeking in her direction. 

her cheeks have lit up again, pink, and he wonders if she thinks she has some sort of secret admirer. she wasn’t wrong, if she was thinking that, and he really hopes mark doesn’t accidentally tell jess that he has a semi-crush on mei. 

-- 

‘your hair looks nice today.’ 

--

‘i like your shirt!’ 

-- 

‘good luck on your final today! i heard your friend say it ^^; sorry for eavesdropping!’ 

-- 

‘i really like your smile! you should smile more ~’ 

--

she’s been starting to look forward to the little pink post-its that she would find on her notebook whenever she stood up to go get a new book. she’s at that point where she really wants to know who it is. jess has her suspicions, especially since she said that a friend kept asking whether she had gotten all the notes or not. 

(she has, she keeps them in a pocket in her binder.) 

it’s kind of surprising to her that she hasn’t caught whoever was doing it yet. she thinks jess might know something, considering that she has this little, knowing sort of look in her eyes whenever a new one appears. sometimes she thinks that her best friend is just messing with her -- because everyone knew that that was what jess did for a living -- but sometimes she isn’t so sure anymore. 

“there’s another note, by the way.” 

glancing up at her friend, she makes a sound, completely unsurprised at this point as she blinks down at the pink post-it and there’s a smile on her lips as she reads it. ‘keep powering through! finals are almost over!’ her heart warms at the kind words, glancing around the library, her eyes narrowing as her gaze lands on jess again, the blonde very obviously avoiding her gaze at this point. she’s determined to figure out who it is before finals are over, and she flips to her own section of post-it notes in her binder. they’re blue, a stark contrast to the handful of pink post-its tucked into the clear pocket of her binder. she’s narrowed it down to a handful of people in the library, all regulars, all people who she saw whenever she got a new post-it. 

there’s a boy with platinum blond hair with slanted eyes that she knows is friends with hongbin, and she doesn’t think it’s him even though he’s been there every time she’s gotten a note. and his friend that has a big nose, who’s always getting shushed by the library assistants for being too loud. it wouldn’t be him either, she thinks. there are the two boys that come in separately sometimes, a blond one -- who’s hair shade is almost exactly the same as jess’ and she knows they’re friends, she thinks his name is mark -- and a darker haired one with a cute, crinkly smile that she catches sight of when they’re laughing sometimes. she doesn’t think either of them would be a culprit either considering they always sat far away from them. there’s jess, but she doesn’t count. and then there’s a handful of other people who she really, really hopes aren’t the culprits -- an older lady who seems to be doing a third degree, a raucous group of seven boys who seem to actually be too young to be attending the university and she swears one of them is friends with her younger brother, and some goth looking girls who terrify her and she knows jess hates them. 

she sighs, shaking her head as she crosses out the platinum blond boy and his friend, having heard their laughter while she was getting a new book that day, knowing they were sitting in their usual spot. she wasn’t getting any closer, but she couldn’t really do much investigating when she still had two exams to study for. 

--

honestly, she doesn’t know why she’s helping mark and his friend. jinyoung, she reminds herself, not that she cares. it hadn’t taken long for her to clarify that yes she had a boyfriend and yes she was very happy with him and yes he was the tall male with the dimples and his name was hongbin, thank you very much. but then she had been roped into this whole post-it note scheme thing because jinyoung had some sort of little crush on mei and he didn’t want her to know yet and, groans, she was too lazy to deal with this. 

so she promised to keep her mouth shut but also warned them that she wasn’t going to be taking any part in this. she would tell them how mei reacted maybe, though she knew they watched them all the time anyway. 

(but despite how aloof she acted, she did find the little crush a bit cute. and the post-it note idea was also cute.) 

considering that she knew that her friend definitely did enjoy reading the post-it notes, she obviously couldn’t keep that to herself. 

“when are you planning on revealing yourself?” 

jinyoung literally jumps a foot into the air when she confronts him where he’s hiding behind a bookshelf, having just planted another post-it note onto mei’s notebook. the stack he had had at the beginning of this ‘mission’ or whatever had dwindled to half its height and she stares him down, arms crossed over her chest. 

“wh-what --” 

“you do realize that she’s been spending her breaks between studying trying to figure out who’s leaving her notes right?” 

his eyes widen like he hadn’t actually expected the girl he liked to be interested -- though, he had known she had kept his little notes, and that hadn’t tipped him off in the slightest -- and she can’t help the tutting sound she emits after. 

“for someone who’s supposed to be smart, you sure are stupid,” her words are blunt and harsh and he flinches a bit, glancing back out at the table she had come from, noting that mei hadn’t come back yet, to see his latest note.  

“you could just, you know, pretend to get caught or something. just stop hiding because you know this semester is ending and you’e not going to see her again until the next finals season.” 

she knows it sounds like a threat even though it wasn’t meant to be one -- or was it? -- and she just glares at him for a moment before stepping back to the table, plopping herself down at her laptop again and putting her earphones back in.  

-- 

he had never actually considered revealing himself until jess had brought it up -- honestly, the thought had never crossed his mind, an option he ha never thought he should take, one that he wished he could do but wasn’t sure whether he should or not. 

glancing back at the table, his eyes widen slightly as he sees that she’s smiling at the post-it note he had just left, just a short one that read ‘hope your studying is going well!’and he lets out a short breath, not realizing he had been holding it since jess had left him, after setting such a strong proposal into his mind and he mulls it over as he loops towards the washroom to make it seem like that was where he was coming from. 

maybe he would confess, he thinks, a smile on his face as he watches mei tuck the little note into the pocket with the other ones he had left. maybe.

[wingjyun]

photograph wait for me to come home 

loving can hurt loving can hurt sometimes 

he chooses not to go to the graduation ceremony even though he knows he really, really should. instead, he wanders around outside with his camera, places he doesn’t usually go so as to not be found so easily. 

he was supposed to take pictures for the yearbook, for the school newspaper, but he can’t bring himself to even turn to face the direction of the hall. all he can think about it the fact that two of the most important people in his life are walking that stage and he’s not going to be seeing them in the hallways, not going to be dragged to soccer games and soccer parties by his sister, not going to be able to curl up and cuddle with his boyfriend, and his heart hurts. 

but it’s the only thing that i know 

he glances up at the sound of his name -- a call of “sebby!” -- in a familiar voice and he pulls his face away from his viewfinder, straightening up, pink hair in his face. his heart gives another lurch and he doesn’t say anything as vincent approaches him, clad in his graduation gown and he has to glance away again, back to the flower he had been taking a picture of. 

he knows vincent won’t ask him why he didn’t go to the ceremony -- in the same way, he knows for sure that dalena will -- and he doesn’t want to explain that he couldn’t watch them both move on with their lives without him in it. he can feel the lump in his throat as his boyfriend approaches him quietly, making his way across the field and sometimes he wonders how the other male always knows just where to find him, even if it’s somewhere that he’s never been before.

he feels arms wrap around him and he can’t help the soft sniffle that he emits, lifting his camera back up to his face to mask the fact that he feels like he might cry soon. he’s pulled back into a warm chest, spun and he’s blinking up at his favorite person in the world -- his favorite person that is leaving and graduating and leaving him behind -- tears in his brown eyes as they meet blue, not having a choice because of the fingers gently holding his chin. 

     come live with me in new york.

he can’t help the way his mouth falls open, surprised, and it’s obvious in vincent’s face that he hadn’t meant to ask so bluntly, that he had had a whole speech prepared to ask him in the most romantic and special and memorable way but that’s probably one of his favorite things about his favorite person. 

     okay.

he loves his smile too.

when it gets hard you know it can get hard sometimes 

he settles in with vincent in a nice apartment in new york and he likes it. he likes it more than he can imagine and he has a few flowers sitting on the windowsill of their fourth floor apartment that looks over a park and a fountain and he thinks it’s probably his new favorite place. he takes photographs at the fountain, he waters his pot of hydrangeas and the orchid and the peonies and he smiles when he takes pictures of those too. 

he’s going back to school in three days and he doesn’t think he’s ever hated an idea so much in his life. 

he doesn’t want to leave. 

he ends up arguing with vincent, about how he could just stay here and enroll in a school here or something, finish up here, not worry about his powers since they were pretty useless to him anyway. ( what use was speed if every time he ran for too long, every time he ran too fast, every time he ran in general, that he felt like his chest was on fire, that he needed to take a good thirty minute break before he felt okay again? )

he loses the argument when his sister decides to call from home, with pietro and esme with her and they all talk him into going back to elias and he sulks for two hours and forty four minutes before vincent apologizes for ratting him out and he cries in the other’s arms for another good thirty seven minutes before he can calm down enough to pack. 

it is the only thing that makes us feel alive 

he stays pressed to vincent’s side the entire trip to the airport, unable to even allow the other to step away to grab a bite to eat, to go to the washroom even. his boyfriend indulges him, knowing he would worry about being forgotten the entire time he’s away and he promises to visit him on school breaks, and call him every night and text him all day as long as he promises not to text in class. 

he promises. ( but he doesn’t know if he can keep that promise or not. ) 

he somehow gets to the gate with the other by his side the entire time -- there had been some negotiations about him getting through customs considering who both of their parents are, but it had gone without a hitch after that -- and he turns to vincent as his flight time nears. 

     i don’t want to go. 

     you have to. 

     but i don’t want to anymore. i never did. 

he’s tugged into a tight embrace, face tucked into vincent’s shoulder and he sniffles softly, somehow having been able to stave off his tears the entire preparation for this trip but he can feel them tickling behind his closed eyelids as he presses his face into his boyfriend’s shirt, unable to stop himself from tearing up now. 

he feels something being tucked into his hand and he pulls away to glance at the little book in his fingers. he opens it quietly, intrigued and curious, tilting his head to the side and he doesn’t know what it is until he catches a glimpse of what’s on the first page. it’s a picture of them, the first time they met, sitting in a circle of light on a bench, his head pillowed in vincent’s lap. ( he doesn’t remember this, but he’s heard the story enough times to know it’s definitely them. )

     if you’re ever sad, look through this okay? it’s us. everything ... i have one too.

he glances at the other, eyes widening and there are tears glistening there before he pulls vincent into another hug. his heart is hurting again, but it feels a bit lighter. his boyfriend will miss him just as much, right? right. hopefully. 

he gets on the plane, tears streaming down his cheeks but with a smile on his face as he hugs the little album close to his heart.

we keep this love in a photograph we made these memories for ourselves where our eyes are never closing hearts are never broken

he spends a lot of time looking at the little photo album. it has printed pictures as well as the polaroids he had taken, and he sometimes wonders how vincent had made a copy of everything so that they could both have one. 

he sits in the places that the pictures had been taken in, looking at them quietly, holding them up to the sun, remembering the things that had been happening in the photographs. 

time’s forever frozen still

he looks at the picture of them, sprawled on the grass with the sunlight dancing in their hair and their laughs ringing in the air. it had been a picnic and he had been dragged out of his dormitory room against his will with the excuse of nice weather, warm sunlight and good company. the weather had been nice, the sunlight had been warm and the company had been much better than just good. the two of them had chatted the day away, vincent somehow having been the one person who could pull long replies from him and he smiles softly to himself, touching his throat. he still remembers how sore his throat had been that night, after a long day of just talking. 

he thinks of the picture of them bundled up in scarves and beanies and covered in snow, bright smiles on their faces, his dimples obvious even in the picture. he had been dragged into an impromptu snowball fight, literally tugged into it by vincent and dalena and a handful of other friends who all immediately bombarded him with snowballs and he had been wrought on revenge, jason having dumped a giant handful of snow down his shirt and he remembers chasing them all around for hours, ending the night with rosy cheeks, runny noses, hot chocolate, lots of laughter and memories etched into his heart as he snuggled with vincent for warmth. 

he glances at the picture of them on the beach, the bright blue ocean in behind them in the pictures and he smiles quietly to himself, thinking of the day they had spent with their sandy toes in the ocean, the smell of salt in the air and the horrid sunglasses tan he had gotten that day. he remembers how he had been pulled into the ocean by the other, laughing and protesting half-heartedly -- he was quickly realizing how easily he had stopped protesting to being dragged into things by his boyfriend -- getting dunked in and swallowing salt water almost immediately. he remembers feeling like he was choking on sand, dying with laughter at the same time. 

he passes the days where he misses vincent by reliving memories, even though they’ll never replace the real thing. 

loving can heal loving can mend your soul 

he calls vincent when he’s finished his homework, hoping the time difference isn’t too horrible, thinking it’s probably early afternoon where his boyfriend is, he’s entirely unsurprised when the other picks up on the second ring. 

     i miss you. 

he can’t help the words that blurt out almost immediately upon hearing the other’s voice, tears springing to his eyes and he wipes at them furiously with the sleeve of his hand, listening to vincent talk quietly about everything he’s learning at tony stark’s tower and in his lab and he honestly thinks he could just lay there and listen forever. 

he wants to. 

     you should sleep soon. you have class tomorrow morning right? 

he also regrets giving his boyfriend his schedule, sighing softly and he sits up gingerly, rubbing at his eyes. they’ve been talking for hours, and he knows it’s only because vincent’s dad is so close to tony stark that he’s been allowed to talk on the phone for this long. it’s more than he could ever ask for and he nods quietly, despite knowing the other wouldn’t be able to see him, making a soft noise in acknowledgment. 

     i love you, you know? 

     i love you too. 

he stays on the line until he falls asleep, vincent’s soft humming lulling him into unconsciousness, heart warm, a smile on his lips.

and it’s the only thing that i know 

he’s woken up by a loud knock on his dorm door and he shoots awake in his bed. his roommate isn’t there for some reason -- he thinks he’s probably sleeping over at some girl’s dormitory again -- and he glances around, terrified. there’s another gentle knock and he swallows, not knowing what to do or who on earth would be at his door at 4 in the morning during christmas break and it takes him another five minutes to finally decide to answer the door. 

he peeks through the peephole, not seeing anything, and he furrows his brow in confusion, sudden anger surging through him when he realizes it’s probably a prank. 

he pulls open the door, ready to yell at whoever had woken him up, his blanket tugged around his shoulders like a cape -- only to see an envelope laying on the floor, innocently. he leans down to pick it up, seeing that it was unsealed, and he frowns to himself as he opens it. he really hopes it’s not one of those glitter bombs that his roommate had gotten just a few days ago, tugging out a note. it says ‘look up’ in an oddly familiar scrawl though he can’t place who’s writing it is. 

he glances up, only to gasp and drop the letter when he finds himself face to face with his boyfriend and it takes his brain a few moments before it really registers what’s happening. and even then he can barely believe his eyes. 

      vincent? wh-what are you doing here? 

     what else? to spend christmas with you, silly. 

he thinks it’s the best christmas present he’s ever received. 

i swear it gets easier remember with every piece of ya 

he wanders the grounds, spring having sprung and he smiles at the sight of little flowers starting to bloom in the warm sunlight. he wants to take pictures to send to vincent, scrolling through the screen on his dslr to figure out which ones he might send. 

he misses his plants in their apartment in new york, wondering absently if his boyfriend had really been taking care of them like he had said he would. he could always buy new ones, he guesses, if they don’t survive the care of the other male and he smiles a bit to himself at the thought of their apartment. he misses it. he misses having a big bed and he misses not having to share anything with his roommates. he misses his little blue basket that had carried his medicine and hair products, having left that for their washroom and he sighs softly, snapping a picture of a sunflower. 

he blinks at the picture he’s taken, smiling to himself. it’s a good picture, he thinks, nodding to himself as he goes to find a different thing to take pictures of. he’ll send that one to vincent. a sunflower for the sun in his life. it’s perfect. 

and it’s the only thing we take with us when we die 

he lays in the grass under the tree they always used to take naps under or study under or have picnics under and he smiles to himself, feeling the sun warm his face and his body. his back is a bit damp, the morning dew not having completely evaporated before he had settled down, but he doesn’t mind as he lets his eyes fall closed. 

he’s doing well in school, the basketball team is doing well too, he hasn’t had an asthma attack since the year before, the time during the basketball game, he’s been doing good with keeping his friendships intact. 

he talked to dalena recently and pietro and esme and he feels happy. 

he thinks the reason why he’s been doing so good lately is because he doesn’t want vincent to have to worry about him. he knows his boyfriend probably already does that, and he tries to help by keeping an eye on skylar and on what she’s doing. ( he is friends with joyce after all, and it’s not too hard to get a little bit of information about his boyfriend’s sister. ) 

he relaxes quietly, thinking of how different the past couples years and this year are, feeling the sunlight dancing on his face and he even feels calm. he remembers how anxious he had always been, how he used to wear his mask whenever he was in public even if no one ever really recognized him. his hair was still pink, thanks to a certain rogers, and he doesn’t think it makes him the odd one out anymore. he likes to think that it makes him unique, extra special.  

he really only has vincent to thank for this, and for this he’ll be forever grateful.

and if you hurt me that’s okay, baby, only words bleed inside these pages you just hold me and i won’t ever let you go 

he’s been busy with finals and the first time he’s touched a phone or a laptop in days is when he’s finished all of them. the first thing he sees though, is definitely not what he had expected. there are pictures of vincent partying -- he swallows, knowing it was just something that tony stark did, that it wasn’t anything big, nothing he had to worry about -- pictures of him surrounded by girls and guys alike, obviously popular because of his last name. 

he sees the bright smile on his boyfriend’s face and he has to swallow again, his throat tight and he knows he doesn’t have a reason to be hurt or a reason to be jealous. 

oh, you can fit me inside the necklace you got when you were sixteen next to your heartbeat where i should be keep it deep within your soul 

he realizes his phone has a ton of messages and he decides he’ll go through those first, heart leaping to his throat when he sees that the majority of the texts are from said boyfriend. he takes a couple moments to calm down, knowing these were all things he was supposed to have read days ago even though he had warned vincent he would be suffering from a temporary social media ban to get through his finals. there are mostly picture messages, vincent in his tank top and baggy jeans and there’s a smile on his face in the familiarity despite the tightness in his heart. 

he doesn’t think he can get through the pictures until he notices the necklace his boyfriend is wearing and, despite everything, that brings a smile to his lips. 

he remembers how they had purposely engraved one of the tags with their initials. he had been against it, thinking it was too cheesy, too public of an announcement for him to be okay with it but he could only hedge so much for so long and vincent ended up getting it done anyway. seeing it now though, makes him feel a surge of relief, smiling as he goes through the rest of the messages. 

he smiles to himself as he reads them, the messages varying from ‘i don’t know why i have to go to this stupid party’ to ‘this girl in front of me is throwing up and it’s kind of fascinating how much is coming out’ to ‘i miss you’ and even ‘hurry up and turn your phone back on!!!” 

he didn’t think he could feel happy again after seeing those pictures, but he realizes they’re mostly tabloids and paparazzi photos after he checks online to see if there was anything interesting about the party. ( it turned out it was just a cover up for something with the avengers, and vincent had been the most well-known person there, considering tony stark hadn’t even been at his own party. the media had to focus their attention on someone, of course. )

so you can keep me inside the pocket of your ripped jeans 

he keeps the little photo album with him at all times, either in his backpack, or his camera case when he’s out, or under his pillow when he’s in his dorm and he keeps a special eye on it as he’s packing up his room. it’s his turn to graduate now. 

he sees dalena and esme and he runs up to them, steady but quick enough as he wraps his arms around his older sister and gives her a squeeze before ducking down to give his younger sister one too. the ice cream maximoffs were reunited once again, his sister chimes and he can’t help the soft chuckle that falls from his lips, eyes bright even though he spends most of the time scanning over the crowd, using his height to his advantage, looking for a different blond head. 

he reaches down to gently touch his pocket, the little photo album residing in its special place as he looks for his boyfriend, hoping that he would show up despite him not having shown up for the other’s graduation. 

holdin’ me closer ‘til our eyes meet you won’t ever be alone 

he walks the stage without catching a glimpse of vincent and his heart sinks, gaze drooping to his feet as he heads down the steps on the side of the stage. 

he feels someone tug on his arm and he doesn’t even look up as he tries to pull his arm away, but the arms that wrap around him are familiar and the quiet chuckle is even more familiar and he glances up immediately, and he feels a surge of emotion that seems to pour into every bone in is body and he actually slumps against vincent. 

     did you really think i wouldn’t come? i wouldn’t miss this for the world. 

he sobs quietly into the other’s chest, not realizing, or maybe not caring, that the ceremony was still continuing, feeling fingers tilt his chin up and he shakes his head, wanting to hide his face. there’s a soft press of lips against his own and he makes a soft sound, surprised but happy and he feels his heart swell, kissing him back with everything he could muster, wanting to pour all his feelings from the past couple months into the kiss. 

wait for me to come home

he’s packed and ready after the graduation ceremony, after everything that’s needed to be done is done and over with and he says his goodbyes to his friends that he won’t be seeing over the summer -- the friends that he won’t be seeing for a while. he spends a good while with everyone after he’s checked and double-checked his dorm to make sure he didn’t forget anything. they chat for hours, about their finals, about their families, about what they’re doing with their lives until he pulls away, wanting some alone time with his favorite person. 

he wanders the school grounds for the last time, hand in hand with his boyfriend and he’s never felt happier or more relaxed than he does right now and the smile on his face hasn’t left it since he stopped crying at the ceremony. 

     are you ready to go home? 

he doesn’t even have to think about his answer, a ‘yes’ on his lips as he glances at the other with a dimpled smile on his face. he ends up taking a moment to think of a better way to word his answer, thinking it was too cheesy, too heartfelt, too sincere. but it was the truth. 

     i am home.

home is where the heart is, he thinks, and his heart is definitely wherever vincent is. 

wait for me to come home

[wingjyun]

we (wish we) got married future!au in which eunji and jackson are chosen to be on wgm after debut

*named eunji's group etude and jackson's group invasion because i'm uncreative as fuck

"... What are you doing?"

"Modeling."

"... Are you serious..." Turning to the camera, Eunji scrunched up her nose shaking her head. "I don't know what to do with him."

--

She's not too sure why she was the one casted to be on We Got Married out of all the members in her group. She wasn't the youngest, nor the leader, nor the oldest, she wasn't even the visual. She was just the main dancer and the lead vocal, not even the most remotely interesting out of her entire group -- or, well, that was what she thought. Her manager had just informed her that she would be filming the first episode in a couple days and that Hyunbin had already approved of it, and now it was just up to her whether she wanted to be part of it or not.

(Etude's leader was really flexible and was known for being the 'sexy' one of the group, their main vocal had a voice that rivaled Whitney Houston, their maknae was infamous for her cute aegyo, and their visual was beautiful with a wacky personality. She really didn’t stand out.)

And even though Eunji didn't feel like she was the one who should be representing Etude, she agreed to it. It would help get their group out there, right? Maybe she would even gain more popularity!

"Oh, Eunji-ah," her manager spoke up when she was halfway out the door, intent on getting at least a couple hours of sleep before she had to go to the first day of filming, and she turned back.

"Hmm?"

"Your partner is going to be from a rookie group."

Eunji yawned, nodding as she raised an eyebrow. "And?"

"And you know him."

"... And?"

Her manager heaved a sigh, shaking his head as though she couldn't believe that she hadn't gotten the hint yet.

"Rookie group."

"Mhm."

"Invasion."

She was in the midst of a yawn when it came to a halt, and she turned and stared wide-eyed at her manager, her mouth in the shape of a perfect 'O' as her jaw had dropped. Invasion had debuted only about six months ago, but had gained popularity extremely quickly due to the fact that they were well known for doing difficult tricks and flips -- which of course weren't hard for the two members who were main ones who did the said flips and tricks, since, of course, they had both been part of GNTLMN in their predebut days.

"... It's Jackson isn't it," she said slowly, her voice lowered to a whisper.

"Got it in one," her manager joked, shaking his head again and she just stared at him until he threw his hands into the air.

"They said they wanted to do something like a returning love, and you and Jackson have both stated that you knew each other from before you came to Korea, right? It's sort of a special edition thing, there are a couple of other 'couples' who have said they knew each other from before too."

"But --"

"You guys are actually dating, the agency knows, we know, it's all good. I don't think Hyunbin would've approved otherwise. Now, get to sleep, first day of filming tomorrow, remember?"

--

After changing into the outfit they had selected for her, black short shorts, a white tank top and a loose jean shirt, Eunji could tell that their couple theme would probably be something rather casual even if she was stuck in some crazy heels. She was used to it, considering she was pretty far from being the tallest in Etude, and even though she had complained all through training, she could actually walk in killer heels now, which was a bonus. The coordi-unnie also gave her a baggy cream-colored cardigan that was worn on top, and her hair was left straight. She was also handed a little black bag before they headed off to the filming site, and it was big enough to put a little wallet as well as her phone into, which was really all she needed.

She was supposed to be at the meeting place first, where Jackson would come in after. She hadn't seen him in a couple weeks, due to Etude having had a couple concerts in Japan and then Invasion having had fan meetings across South Korea so they hadn't been in the same place for a while, and she couldn't help but feel nervous for this meeting.

The thing was, the "first" meeting place was in a Starbucks which was closed off for filming, and she couldn't help but feel the irony.

(It was just funny to her, because their actual first real date way back when they had first started dating in the States had also started in a Starbucks. Eunji almost had a sense of deja vu to it, even though she definitely had not dressed like this for that date.

That was for sure.)

Fiddling with her phone as she sat at a table, she could feel herself tense up as she waited for him to show up. How would he be dressed? How would he enter? What was his reaction to them being a couple? She was going to have to talk to him after, but this was going to be weird. They were a couple acting like they weren't a couple but now acting like they were an on screen couple? What?

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice someone had crept up behind her until his hands were over her eyes.

"Guess who?"

She jumped a bit, her phone almost slipping from her fingers and she turns, a bright smile appearing on her face at the sight of her boyfriend and she has to remind herself to tone it down -- remember, he's an old friend not your boyfriend who you miss dearly.

"Jackson!" Eunji greeted, standing up quickly and bowing her head at him, even though considering that they're supposed to be old friends, she should've greeted him with a handshake or something. They had grown up in the States after all. "Long time no see, hey?"

"Yeah, it's been a while." And as he moved more into her few, before sitting down across from her she could finally see what he was wearing. Dark jeans, a casual white t-shirt and a varsity jacket on top. He looked so much like the Jackson that she knew in high school that she could almost believe that she had gone back in time or something. She could just hear the unlying meaning in his words, and that amused her to no end.

But before she could say anything back, he was sliding a coffee cup across the table to her, having bought coffee before he came to greet her apparently.

She took the coffee cup into her hands, glancing at the squiggles of caramel across the surface and she shook her head, amused to no end. Caramel macchiato. Her favorite drink. Of course.

Glancing up at him -- oh look at him being all nonchalant, drinking his coffee as if he hadn't done this hundreds of times before -- Eunji had to hide her smile in the rim of the coffee cup. She had never been good at hiding her smile and when it really came down to it, she probably wouldn't be able to. Which was probably the reason why she shouldn't have taken the offer of being on the show.

(But what if they had paired Jackson up with someone else in Etude and she had to watch him be all cute with one of her unnies or her dongsaeng, and watch them get "married" and see him in a tuxedo and getting her flowers and --

No. This was definitely better.)

They chitchatted for a while, before the staff ushered them out of the coffee house and they had to head to the "house" that was supposed to be their place for the rest of the filming and she felt jittery already. They were supposed to come up with rules for the place and then decorate "their" bedroom.

Their bedroom.

The rules they came up with were simple -- don’t leave each other behind, clean up together, don’t go to bed mad or sad, share everything and end every night with an ‘I love you’.

(She thought he had been joking when he suggested the last rule, had been pulling on her leg, but when she glanced up to laugh at the joke, she found that his expression had been completely serious. She couldn’t exactly say no after that.)

Decorating the bedroom was definitely the most fun they had had together in a long while. First they brought in a ton of comforters, so the whole floor could be their bed. She knew they weren’t going to be actually spending most nights in “their” bedroom, having to be back at their dorms for schedules the next day following filming, but there would be some scenes to be filmed at “home” so they had to make it as livable as possible. She had been told that they would actually have to spend at least a handful of nights in “their” bedroom and she honestly wasn’t sure how that would turn out.

After the comforters came pillows, tons of pillows, pillows upon pillows upon pillows. Eunji had secretly bought some little dumpling plushies, as was her fond nickname for him, and unbeknownst to her, Jackson had bought her a Mashimaro stuffed toy.

It felt like high school all over again.

Filming is paused so that the cameraman can do a panorama of their room, and she exhaled quietly, taking a drink of water before her coordi-unnie handed her another change of clothes. She takes a look at the bundle before her eyes widened, glancing around for the PD of the the show.

“Why do I have pajamas?”

“You’re going to be ending your first night as newlyweds at the house. Your schedules for tomorrow morning have been rearranged slightly to allow for this filming.”

(Now that she thought about it, Eunji probably should’ve read the script more thoroughly.)

She stared at the PD for a long moment before she was ushered off to change into the cute set of pajamas that had been chosen for her. It was a pair of flannel shorts and a t-shirt with a duck on the front of it.

Stepping out from the change room, she could see that Jackson was literally wearing the same pajama set as she was. Just with flannel pants instead and she grinned at him, running at him to give him a hug once she had put down the clothes she had changed out of. Everyone on set knew they were dating anyway, she reasoned with herself, laughing as he caught her in his arms.

“I can’t believe we match!”

They’re allowed a handful of minutes to chat and cuddle for a bit -- it’s weird, she thought, glancing at him, pressed against his side, that they were actually allowed to do this, staff all around them and she snuck a soft kiss to his cheek at that thought -- before filming resumed, having to act detached from one another again.

She curled up beside him after they finished the rest of the rules, cleaned up together, shared blankets and pillows, made sure the other wasn’t sad or mad before Jackson stares at her expectantly.

“What?”

“There’s another rule, remember?”

“There is?”

“I can’t believe you forgot already! We made the rules together and we’re married and you can’t even remember the rule?”

Jackson had always been dramatic.

Her whisper is too soft to be heard and he completely missed it, not even noticing that he had missed it until she swatted at his shoulder, lips jutted out in a pout.

“I can’t believe you ignored my love!”

Maybe she had always been dramatic too.

They ended up chatting idly, reminiscing about their high school days and teasing each other about things that they used to do, bringing up old inside jokes. It continued on until the staff were ushering them to hurry up and end everything and --

“I love you.”

Eunji’s heart skipped a beat at the words, staring at him. It had completely slipped her mind that it was one of the rules they had written down, that she had agreed with, her heart pounding in her chest at the random admission. It wasn’t like she hadn’t heard it before, considering he liked to end most of their conversations with the same three words, but it had been unexpected in the current scenario. Her eyes were wide, surprised before he gave her a little look. A little jerk of an eyebrow to remind her where they were, what they were doing, his hand around hers.

“I love you too,” she mumbled, cheeks warming in embarrassment as the little squeeze his hand had given her showed that he really had meant the words. And so had she.

There was sudden applause around them, and the PD clapped on the shoulder to congratulate her, to tell her she had done well with the stalling of her reply.

(It wasn’t like she had done it on purpose.)

Glancing back at Jackson, she couldn’t help but sigh. Perhaps pretending to be married to him wasn’t a good idea. He was wiggling his eyebrows at her now.

She had six more weeks of filming left.

Why on earth had she agreed to this?

[wingjyun]

tomorrow rogers squad

wanderlust is a funny thing, she thinks, waiting in the airport to board her plane back home to new york. she had spent a couple weeks in france to visit eloise and bother jason before she decided it was, finally, time to head home.

despite everything she’s said about the last two years being the best of her life (they were), she really does miss having a phone and reception everywhere and to be able to talk to her friends whenever she wants. she misses new york pizza and the new york skyline and she misses her dad’s shepherd’s pie and she misses her bed. her bed is probably one of the things she misses the most during her travels, and despite the charmings’ tendency to overcompensate and give her the softest bed in their kingdom (jason had said that), honestly, skye misses her bed.

new york is just as she remembers it, from the last day she had spent there packing before up and leaving for two years. she sees her dad every so often, when he’s on missions for the avengers and they’re in the same area.

but, she misses her brother the most.

she misses how they used to argue all the time, and how she had to cook for him, and how she would force him to learn how to make a sandwich, and how she used to make his hair different colors and how he could always make her laugh. and how warm his hugs always were.

she puts in her earbuds when she gets her seat on the plane, red hair tied up into a ponytail and she chooses the playlist of songs that she had stolen from his laptop before she left. 

she can’t wait to see her brother.

--

when she lands, she grabs her suitcase, thankfully it was one of the first, before hopping in a taxi and heading home. despite wanting to surprise her brother, she really needs a shower from that long as fuck flight and maybe some food. she makes microwaveable macaroni and cheese as her first meal back in new york, damp towel slung around her shoulders as she listens to the beep. it’s nice to be home, she thinks, shoveling the pasta down her throat as soon as it’s cooled enough for her to not scald her tongue.

she lets herself indulge in being home for a while longer, swigging out of the milk carton in the fridge and helping herself to one of the tied up chip bags in the pantry, wondering if her dad was even home or if she had the house to herself for a little bit. she had told him she was coming back but no one else knew. 

once she’s run out of things to occupy herself with, skye puts on some makeup, changes into short and a loose tshirt and slinging a little bag over her shoulder, stuffing everything she would need into it -- her wallet, checking to make sure she had money, her brother’s souvenirs, and the cute little polaroid camera keychain she had bought for sebastian -- before heading out to stark tower. 

her father had clued her in on everything she had missed while traveling the world, everything about her brother going to their uncle tony and learning about the functions and the dealings of all the iron men suits and whatnot, and she almost hopes he’s made her some gadget to play with, but he doesn’t know she’s coming back, no one does really, so she shoos those hopes out the window. 

-- 

it doesn’t take long to get to the tower, a popular tourist attraction meaning that almost everything pointed her in that direction anyway, even having a subway stop named after it and she glances up, remembering when she used to play with her brother up top.

she’s let in almost immediately, knowing her brother was most definitely there and she grins to herself in the elevator. 

-- 

“OLLLIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” he’s not even given a moment to really put down whatever he’s holding before he’s practically bowled over in her tackle, flying into his arms with a bright smile and she buries her face in his -- lab coat -- shirt with a soft sigh. 

his hugs are just as good as she’s remembered them to be.

his expression is surprised, almost disbelieving as he gazes down at her and she glances up to meet his eyes, her own crinkling up in the wide smile and she’s promised herself she wouldn’t cry because it would be stupid to cry over her own brother but that doesn’t stop her from hugging him tight, hiding her face in his chest again in an attempt to stop herself from crying. she’s not crying, really, she promises. she’s got something in her eye. really. 

his hand strokes over her hair, making her think of when they were little and she used to crawl into his lap or his bed whenever she had had a nightmare, and she glances up at him when she feels his shoulders shaking, feeling his soft little breaths in her hair and she smiles to herself, hugging him just as tightly as he was squeezing her. 

“hey, if you don’t stop crying i’m going to start and we don’t want to flood uncle tony’s lab,” she tries to reason, pulling away to look up at him (all the way up, damn his height!), her voice shaky and if she sniffles a little bit, well, who can blame her? 

“you’re back,” it’s a whisper, and it’s the only reply she gets before she’s tugged back into his arms and she smiles to herself. he hasn’t changed, she thinks, rather happily and she just lets herself be hugged, letting him hold her as if to make up for the two years she had been away, out of contact, honestly having missed this either way. 

not that she would admit that of course.

“i’m back.”

maybe to him. 

“and ... i missed you.”

[wingjyun]

cross the line maximoff siblings, he’s always been the odd one out

one,

from the moment he was born, he had been a fighter. he had to fight for his life just barely two weeks after he had come out from the womb, hooked up to a hundred different machines, all trying to save him. he doesn’t remember any of it. his father tells him stories about seeing this little baby wrapped in wires, and his mother sometimes brings it up in their calls and his sister seems to remember vague stories and such from their parents, considering she’s barely two years older than him.

he doesn’t know if the stories are true. there are pictures and all the reports that prove it’s true but, he doesn’t feel like a fighter.

two,

as he grew up, it was clear to him and to everyone around him that the younger maximoff sibling was different. his father was a hero, his sister a carbon copy and he ... he was just sebastian. there was nothing special about him yet, and despite neither him or dalena showing any sign of their father’s power manifesting in them, she was much more like him personality-wise. both of them were loud and comical, not afraid to have the attention on them and he, well he found himself gravitating towards the corners of the room, the exterior, leaving altogether.

he had never liked being the center of attention, nor attention in general and he finds he doesn’t mind when they’re with people they don’t know.

but when their dad gives his sister more attention ... yeah, he’s kind of jealous.

three,

he overhears his sister and his dad talking one day, when he’s just finished bathing and he’s heading back to his room. he backpedals to the stairs once he hears his name.

dad, there’s something wrong with sebastian, he hears dalena say, all seriousness in her tone and it’s like something just clicks in his mind. he had never realized it, ever, not until someone had pointed it out and maybe, maybe she was right. maybe there was something wrong with him, maybe something had happened with their mutant genetics as it was passed onto him, maybe he was just messed up, broken, irreparable. we have to fix him, okay?

he turns away from the stairs, stepping quietly back into his room and locking the door before he climbs into his bed, curling up under the covers in the dark. he holds himself in the fetal position, staring at the wall across from him even as his dad calls him down for dinner. he’s not hungry, he’s not crying, he’s just numb.

there’s always been something wrong with him then.

four,

he starts avoiding his family, thinking maybe time away from them might be able to fix whatever is wrong with him. maybe if he takes his mind off of everything that he should be doing and just focus on things he wants to do for a little bit, the urge to be in the center of attention will grow on him. maybe if he doesn’t let anyone give him attention, he’ll be fixed. 

he tells his dad not to set a place for him at the table anymore, not to look for him and just to leave him alone for a bit. he sneaks out when the house is silent to go to the washroom, to eat a bit of food, to shower. 

he wants to be fixed, he hopes this can fix him.

five,

it doesn’t. 

six, 

a cupcake appears outside of his door once a day, varying in flavors and he knows it’s his sister. they had had a rocky relationship from the start, when he had realized he would much rather be a shadow than a star and she had never understood why he didn’t want to shine. 

she was a a star that shone brighter than anything and he was nothing, something to be stowed away and forgotten and apparently that didn’t sit right with her. 

he smiles, and eats the cupcakes, returning the favor in the form of polaroids of the cupcakes, of the sky, of the flowers outside his window.

seven, 

being subtle in not in his forte, and he messes up one day, waiting too long to go to take a shower and he runs into dalena on his way back to his room. 

what’s wrong, why haven’t you been eating with us? she asks him immediately and he doesn’t know how to answer, his mouth falling open for a moment as he gapes, trying to find the right words to describe how he’s trying to fix himself, how he’s trying to fit in with her and pietro and how it’s just so hard and how he’s so tired and he wishes he hadn’t been born this way but he can’t change how he thinks or how he feels or how he’s scared to be in the spotlight and it all tumbles out the wrong way in answer to her question. 

me. is what he says finally, his gaze on his little toes and he doesn’t want to look at her, doesn’t want to hear her tell him that he’s right and that’s he shouldn’t be part of their family and that everything about him is just wrong wrong wrong. 

she doesn’t. 

she overreacts, in true dalena maximoff fashion, and she tells him there’s nothing wrong with him, that’s he’s her absolutely perfect little brother and who in the world is telling him these things before it clicks in her mind and the silence between them grows. 

he tells her he’s not like her, that’s no matter how hard he tries he can’t be like her, like their father and he keeps his eyes on the ground, wanting to apologize, wanting to give his life back to their mother, wishing someone else had been born in his place, someone who fit in, someone who could be part of the maximoffs before she stutters out a soft apology. 

you don’t have to be like me, is what dalena says, seeming like she was fighting back tears and he had never realized she had never meant that there was something actually wrong with him, that it wasn’t meant to feel like a broken heart. i was wrong, sebby. please don’t think that there’s anything wrong with you, you’re perfect the way you are. 

it takes a while to sink in, and when it does the tears don’t stop falling. they slide down his cheeks and down his neck just to soak into his shirt and he feels something in his chest, something wanting to burst out and he realizes. he feels like he’s been set free. 

thank you, he whispers into the empty air, his sister having stepped away from him after a few moments of him not speaking. 

thank you so much.

eight, 

he comes down to eat breakfast with his family the next morning, a small smile on his lips as his dd greets him like there’s nothing wrong, like his son hadn’t been avoiding his entire family for two weeks. his dad asks if he wants any toast and he nods, being handed a slice with butter on it, just how he likes it. 

he  glances at his sister, hoping she’ll say something, anything so he can tell her thank you, so that he can tell her that her words had meant a lot to him and that he would be forever grateful for her help in his misery. 

like he said, she was a star that shone too brightly for him, a star that would always be there to guide him. 

nine, 

he knows now that there’s nothing wrong with him. he’s just how he is. just sebastian maximoff. 

and he realizes he doesn’t mind being just sebastian maximoff. because that was who he was born to be.

[wingjyun]

i can’t stop how i’m feelin’ it’s like i need you 

sometimes she wishes she wasn’t so afraid to speak up  (but other times, she wishes she could shut up too) 

it starts off as a simple crush, something that was never meant to happen. she jokes with her best friends that she might like someone. someone that she wasn’t even close to. someone she thought was so far out of her reach that it might be funny to joke about liking him. she starts paying extra attention to him, finding things that she could like about it and talking to her friends about it as if it was something real. 

(it wasn’t.) 

she doesn’t realize how far the joke’s gone until her older brother starts asking her about it during the swim practices, and when she realizes that people are actually in on the little joke she had started with her two best friends. the constant teasing of her and her little crush are bombarding her from all sides and she’s not sure how to stop it. so she sarcastically tells everyone that yes she’s madly in love with the swim captain, even covering her cheeks and glancing in his direction and shushing everyone as he glances over, calling them to do another drill. 

it doesn’t occur to her that her cheeks are indeed warm under her palms. 

–

making new friends had never been an issue for her, considering her upbeat personality and the fact that she liked to talk to people to get her mind off of things. think of it as therapy, she had compared it to once whilst talking to her brother. people like to do things that are calming, and it makes me feel better when i talk to people. 

until, of course, she becomes friends with the captain’s twin sister. she’s not aware of it at first, having taken the last name similarity lightly, as a coincidence considering that she had never looked that far into his history about whether he had siblings or not – she wasn’t a stalker. it takes a while before it clicks, her friend having proposed a competition of seeing who could steal the most beanies and hoodies from their brothers without them noticing. 

(she would’ve won.) 

but, curious as ever, she had asked who it was, getting a simple answer. 

“james grayson.” 

what?

– 

it creeps up on her slowly, quiet and mysterious until she finds that she’s constantly thinking about him. about what hes doing, about who he’s talking to, about whether she should approach him at swim practice. it’s so stupid and it’s even more stupid because of the fact that it had never been meant to become something this bad for her. 

she thinks it’s rather funny, how something that had started as an innocent joke had become something this crazy. she had found him attractive, of course, who wouldn’t, but she hadn’t exactly liked it. it had always been something fun to talk about, considering her friends both had things that she could make fun of. they were both princesses for god’s sake, and she, of course, had grown up in a completely different world than the two of them. she had grown up, raised by two soldiers who weren’t finished being soldiers, trained to never give up a battle if there was hope left and she’s lost in thought about this as she kicks her feet in the water, sitting on the edge of the pool when something cool is tapped against her shoulder. she thinks she’s definitely going crazy, thinking crushes were stupid and wondering if they were called crushes for the feeling of how her heart felt when she glances up only to see him. 

tall and handsome, much taller than her, crouching next to her and offering her a water bottle. he looks gorgeous, her mind has enough energy left to think, wondering if she’s seeing some sort of angel and it takes a moment before she can accept the water bottle and murmur a word of thanks. 

he says something offhandedly, something about her doing well and improving on some stroke for some sort of swim and she watches as his eyebrows furrow, as his adam’s apple bobs in his throat when he swallows and she tries to remember how to function. it takes almost too long for her to realize she hasn’t opened the water bottle, which she hastily does and takes a glug from, promptly choking only for him to glance over and pat her on the back.

all she can think about is how warm his hands feel. 

“be more careful,” he says. 

she only takes in the smile on his lips, the way pink flesh frame pearly whites and the way his eyes crinkle up in the corners. it reminds her of her brother, but in a good way, and she doesn’t realize she’s staring until he pats her head and moves to call out something to the group of swimmers.

her heart is racing and she realizes she’s lost the battle. 

–

she takes to trying to avoid him, compared to how she used to seek for his face in the hallways. she hates how she feels warm the moment she lays eyes on him, how she feels like she might choke and trip and die and just make the biggest fool out of herself if she were to make eye contact with him. it’s so stupid, and just how the hell had this happened from a petty joke? 

she starts avoiding swim meets and practices, not wanting to be in the water or in close proximity to him because she had this innate fear that she’s going to drown if they make eye contact. 

(her mind says maybe he’ll save her from drowning, but that’s a dream that she’s long given up on.)

honestly, she doesn’t understand why it seems that the more she tries to push the thought of him out of her mind, the more she seems to think about him. it’s complete and utter bullshit. that’s what it is. or, well, that’s what she’s trying to convince herself of. 

– 

it takes a few weeks, while she’s debating on whether she wants to nap outside or not during her break, sitting in the grass under a tree with the wind flowing through her crimson hair when there’s another tap on her shoulder, something cold being pressed to the side of her head and it’s like deja vu but she’s not at the pool and she’s trying hard not to think about him when a familiar voice greets her and she glances up, heart thudding the moment she heard his voice. 

fuck.

“where have you been?” 

nowhere, here, hiding from you and your goddamn beautiful smile, trying to get away from catching feelings but no one had ever told her that people didn’t catch feelings – feelings caught people and she was a victim that was helpless and lost and overwhelmed and she didn’t know what to do anymore. but she can’t say these things to him. he would think she was crazy or something and she doesn’t want that. 

she glances up at him with a perplexed expression on her face, confused as why he was holding out a can of iced coffee to her and she takes it quietly, blinking at the label. her heart is racing and she’s trying hard not to let it show on her face, i don’t like you i don’t like you i don’t like you, if she said it enough times it would come true right?

“i broke my ankle again,” she lies through her teeth, looking up at him, past him, at a leaf blowing on a branch in the breeze just above his ear, trying to avoid being sucked into his gaze and maybe risking the chance of falling harder and she turns her attention to the can of coffee, opening it and taking a small sip. that was nice, she thinks, taking another sip and she feels a bit better. a bit. 

from what she can see of his face, he looks surprised. she knows she hasn’t told anyone of her tendency to be accident prone – it’s so bad, that she even made the nurses in the infirmary promise not to tell her brother when she got hurt. it’s so bad that her brother makes regular check ins in the infirmary to make sure she’s not in there. she hasn’t hurt herself in weeks but she can’t bring herself to tell him that she likes him. or that she’s been avoiding him. from what she knows, he’s definitely just checking up on her because she’s a member of the team that he’s a captain of. nothing more, nothing less. 

(right?)

he sits next to her until the break is over, until the bell rings, and she finds herself trying not to breathe too loudly in case he found it annoying. 

what the fuck was wrong with her?

– 

sometimes when she lets herself dream, when she doesn’t stop herself from imagining a future with him, she likes to think that she might be allowed to have a happy ending. 

(as if.) 

–

he graduates and she stays behind, watching the ceremony from afar and she wonders why she had never said anything. his sister is on stage with him and she watches silently when his name is called, applauding when his sister’s is. she had an in on him, having befriended his sister without realizing and she doesn’t know how she had let this opportunity slip past her. 

she has so many what if’s running through her mind as she watches quietly, mute and dulled, tunnel vision for him and him only. what if she had made a move? what if she had said something? what if she had kissed him that one time they had sat in silence under the tree for a good twenty minutes? what if he had wanted her to? what if she wasn’t the only one feeling this way …? 

the ceremony ends and she files out of the hall they had rented for it, smiling at her friend as she interrupts a conversation with bright eyes and a proud expression on her face. 

“i’m so proud of you!” 

“hush, you’ll be graduating soon too!” 

“i’m going to miss seeing you around the school –” she’s cut off when she catches sight of him, looking handsome and gorgeous in his graduation gown and her heart jumps to her throat, maybe it’s her chance, maybe she should say something, and it’s a moment stuck in time when their eyes meet for a brief second. she feels like time has stopped and her brain is moving at miles per second as she tries to come up with what she should say, how she should convey everything she’s bottled up for the past year and a half and everything she wishes could happen in the future and everything that’s on the tip of her tongue tumbles out of her mind as she just raises a hand for him to shake, a smile on her face. 

“good luck.”

she regrets it right away, seeing something flicker in his eyes and the maybes pile up in her throat and the what ifs build up like walls around her, closing her in until she can’t see the sunlight anymore and the onlys become like sand, bearing down on her in the giant hourglass of life that she finds herself in the bottom of, wading through the never ending grains, trying to find a way to his smile. (or maybe to his heart.) 

but, there’s no way out. 

she’s lost this battle. and the war. 

watching as he walks away, as more and more people block her sight of his back, and she feels the distance growing between them as the wind pushes at the hem of her skirt and her hair out of her face, she wonders whether she made the right choice.

is it better to regret something you did, or to regret not doing it at all?

[wingjyun]

on the verge of reality rogers squad: vincent and skylar 

a/n: i don’t know what happened or where this angst came from wHOOPS yolos

sometimes she wishes she hadn’t been born. her entire existence has been built upon lies, on a shrouded reality, seen through rose-coloured sunglasses and she doesn’t know what she should believe anymore. her mother, her favorite person for three years out of her fifteen years of living, had left her behind and she had never felt more – 

lost in a sea of faces, she realizes that the nightmares she’s been having, flashes of red hair, a smile that matched her own, were of her mother, crimson hair and emerald eyes, and she had dyed her hair and gotten colored contacts to see if she could bring her – 

back to back, she stands with her older brother, the person who had helped her father orchestrate her life of half-truths, things she were told that she was too young to understand when he, he was only two years and three months older and yet he was part of that world, part of the real world that she was always denied, a world that she was not allowed to take her place in, to take her stand and she hates him half the time, loves him the other half. she does love him though, more than she should, more than she should be allowed to. (he is her brother after all.) she’s a black hole, and she eats everything, takes in light from all life forms and he’s a star that’s wandering too close for her to be – 

comfortable, she’s comfortable around him despite all her jokes and how she picks on him all the time and she wishes she wasn’t, that she wasn’t consumed by the idea that she’ll one day extinguish the light he has inside of him and it worries her to an extent, thinking that maybe she should leave but when it’s time for them to sleep and she crawls into his bed, tucked against him for warmth she hears her name, her name whispered between the sheets and the quiet snores that have always plagued him, and his pleas for her not to leave him, them, their family and she decides to stay. stay for a bit until she can safely get away. it’s not easy because she knows she’s just a fly tangled in the spider’s web of lies that her family is weaving around her but she can’t bear to leave, not when she’s still wanted, even if her wings are clipped and tied back she can’t leave because she wants to – 

stay, stay, she has to tell herself all the time whenever she has the urge to flee, to leave so she doesn’t hurt anyone else. she knows her father hurts everyday because she acts like her mother, speaks like her, has more of her mother’s spunk and is practically a carbon copy of her now that she’s dyed her hair and gone in her footsteps. they’re both terrified she’ll leave and she hates the fact that she knows she will one day. one day soon, one day later, one day far in the future, she doesn’t know but it’s definite. it’ll happen sooner or later, or later rather than sooner – 

but, everybody knows that a black hole was once a star, a star that had shone as brightly as the stars that it now sucks in, a star that had given up and left that life behind. skylar elizabeth rogers is a black hole but maybe, just maybe, she can go back to being a star.

[wingjyun]

(´つω・｀) taken from my ask.fm and i didn’t realize it at first but probably based on this picture now that i’ve found it again ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

"shikkie ..." hongbin tugged on his best friend's jacket hood, wanting the older five year old's attention, considering the other male was only really looking at the new game he had gotten and well, he felt rather neglected.

he pouted, following along behind wonshik as they walked off of the bus and up the steps to his house, having just finished school and the other's parents would be picking him up before dinner. it wasn't that he wasn't used to his best friend being completely absorbed in a game, but he definitely wasn't used to being completely ignored. he had even been gently shoved away when he tried to peek at the screen of the other's ds.

actually being close to tears, he tried to head straight for his room when he stepped through the door, not wanting to stick around when his best friend obviously was too enraptured with his game to play with him.

"binnie binnie binnie ~"

hongbin stopped in his steps at his name, turning to glance at his best friend with a very obvious pout still on his face, wondering why he was being called now after being ignored for the whole bus ride home.

"look binnie! i made you! and me!" he glanced at the screen that he was finally able to see after all this time, eyes widening and he couldn't help the wide smile that stretched across his lips, dimples showing in his cheeks at what he saw.

on the screen of the ds were two little characters, each other them resembling him and wonshik and he bounces back, taking the little game console into his hands and blinking at the mini versions of himself and his best friend, giggling because the other had even taken the time to draw two little dots on each of his cheeks to represent his dimples.

"see? now we're best friends in the game too!"

[wingjyun]

"i woke to the sound of rain" -- sylvia plath #taekmei warnings: super fluffy shit, lots of mentions of domestic!taekwoon and a really shitty ending l o l

the soft pitter patter of rain on the roof top is the first thing he hears when he wakes up, blinking open sleepy eyes to glance out the window, the blinds left open by accident. despite it being almost noon, according to the bright, red, digital letters of the clock on the nightstand, it was dark and stormy outside. he doesn't do much more than close his eyes, bury his nose back into her hair and inhale deeply. rainy days were his favorite. 

- 

by the time he's woken up again, he can tell that she's awake in his arms as well and he makes a soft sound, something that almost resembles the mew of a sleepy, grumpy kitten and mei can't help but laugh softly. 

"you really are a cat, hey? stretching too?" 

he's literally mid-stretch when he gives her a playful, withering glare and he just chuckles, shaking his head. a soft breathy undertone that always has her heart skipping a beat. or maybe a few beats. she glances at him, sleep mussed hair being slowly pulled into a ponytail above her head, too lazy to take a shower to fix the knots considering she was sure that they would end up just snuggling in bed, or cuddling on the couch or eating anyway. 

or, well, that was how their lazy days usually went. taekwoon just smiles a little bit at her, his lips quirking up just slightly and her heart flutters again. his hair is mussed, his eyes are half open, and he looks adorably sleepy and she feels like she's not going to make it through this day with him being like that before her. (not that she's too sure how she puts up with him on a daily basis, honestly.) he slowly gets up and stretches again as she eyes the thin strip of pale skin that appears when he lifts his arms above his head before she's forced to stifle a yawn, sleepy despite the ten hours she had gotten. 

he gets up and moves to kiss her softly on the lips, pulling away with a twinkle in his eyes. 

"i'm going to make breakfast, join me in a bit?" 

she's practically in awe but she somehow manages a small nod, sitting there with the blankets around her waist as she watches his broad shoulders move slowly and disappear out of her bedroom. 

there's something about having her idol boyfriend spend the night and have the day off today -- the whole day, just for them! -- that made her feel just a little bit more special than anyone else. he always took the time out of his day to make her feel special, whether it be just a short text message of 'i miss you' or 'i love you' or even just a simple 'how was your day today?' that always had her realizing that he probably thought of her just as much as she thought about him. mei didn't always text him, despite wanting to be sending him things constantly, knowing that he would always check his phone for her and his schedules were too important for her to be messing things up for him. (instead she spends her time texting jess as they both ranted about their idol boyfriends.) 

she lets herself gather her thoughts, deciding against texting her friend about this, knowing she was probably spending the day with hongbin -- not unlike her with taekwoon. she quickly goes to brush her teeth and freshen herself up before peeking out into the kitchen, broad shoulders standing before the stove and her cheeks warm at the small smile he shoots her before he turns back to making breakfast. 

sneaking up behind him, she leans her head on his shoulder to watch him make the kimchi soup -- the perfect food for a rainy day. he tastes it quietly, stirring again before holding the spoon up to her lips quietly. she takes a small sip, tilting her head before she nods at him. 

"it's good, oppa." 

his answering smile is almost radiant -- and she can't help but marvel at how easily his expressions come nowadays, for her at least -- and she beams back at him, content with how everything was going with her life now. she hums softly, vixx's latest song, under her breath as she watches him cook for her. she used to protest to him cooking on his days off, but once he explained he missed doing it when they were too busy with promotions and now, mei's used to seeing him fiddle around in the kitchen on his day off. 

(it's really nice, she thinks, having a boyfriend who can cook.) 

the food is on the table as she muses over this, taekwoon settling down beside her and they both share a soft smile before digging into the food. it's delicious, as always. 

"you should, you know, consider moving in permanently and changing your career to my cook," she teases lightly, glancing at him after they've both cleared their plates and have done the dishes. he just chuckles, shaking his head, and they both know that he loves singing too much to ever give it up this early on. 

he tugs her into his arms, holding her close to his chest with a soft sigh, pressing soft lips against her forehead in a gentle kiss. 

"i would, if it meant keeping you with me forever." 

she doesn't say anything in reply. comfortable. 

the rain continues pouring down in icy sheets outside, but inside, the warmth of their love continues to blossom.