time is ✨fucked✨

Pokémon unreality blog, medium stakes

[winter-fog-hisui]

Right. This is some rapidashit. Ugh.

You can call me Onshin Tsumeyama, I guess. I'm a Faller. I use he/him pronouns. The rest doesn't really matter.

I'm in Hisui. Yes, yes, hell on earth, hole in the sky and all. Frankly, I'm pretty used to life being shitty. No, I'm not typing this on an "arc phone", I did not end up here via Arceus. Pretty sure I'd have noticed that.

Update: uh. Pokémon Team. I guess. Edited to hide identifying details because I'd rather not make my face public.

OOC

This guy has approximately a shit ton of secrets lmao. I'll update the intro as things get revealed <3

[summer-child-in-inaba]

[Message Board "Rotomblr Sburb"]

beholdingRainbows: Thank you kindly everyone for participating! I'll be depositing you all back home now.

catboyCliffs: hooray . back to normal horrors.

multitudesDudes: hooray I DEFINITELY need to go jobhunt .

moonlitRanger: oh this'll be REAL fun to explain to the ranger association won't it.

crystalizedEyes: ... well I was thinking of taking a break from contests anyway . This one was involuntary and my manager is going to freak the dist out once he sees me .

beholdingRainbows: ... I probably should've frozen time in your respective worlds when all this started.

catboyCliffs: oh you THINK

[miyos-multiverse-express]

[Message Board "Rotomblr Sburb"]

multitudesDudes: alright that's. what, just natsuki's left?

crystalizedEyes: Odin, yes.

multitudesDudes: and then we're done.

crystalizedEyes: And then we're done!

catboyCliffs: hooray.

moonlitRanger: not the worst yeet I've been on but let's not make this a repeat experience

multitudesDudes: what WAS your worst?

moonlitRanger: vortex world. endless apocalyptic wasteland, literally all i could do was a) fight or b) run away from fights that'd kill me

catboyCliffs: yikes

moonlitRanger: what was your worst miyo? you've got the most experience apart from me

multitudesDudes: prooobably iwatodai. no offense to minato but being stuck in the dark hour for weeks was the fucking WORST.

crystalizedEyes: Sweet legends.

multitudesDudes: also everything else iwatodai was happening

catboyCliffs: yikes !

multitudesDudes: anyway Natsuki we'll head over to your planet now

crystalizedEyes: See you in a bit.

[winter-fog-hisui]

Okay. That’s Natsuki situated, Kinglet is doing fine for another two minutes, Miyo is hopefully NOT GETTING SURPRISED BY THAT AGAIN, you have lost track of how many times you’ve jumped through time and ARC DAMN IT KINGLET IS DEAD AGAIN.

Rewind, get their ass out of the way of that, take a breath – that’s Natsuki updated – MOVING ON.

You fucking hate time travel oh sweet fucking dist, you’re going to. This is fine. Take a breather in a different part of the timeline for a second. This is FINE.

This is fine.

[summer-child-in-inaba]

[Message Board “Rotomblr Sburb”]

crystalizedEyes: kinglet for the love of everything PLEASE TELL ME you’ve had a prospit dream

moonlitRanger: not for lack of trying but no

crystalizedEyes: stars fucking . okay . okay . it’s gonna happen fairly soon i think .

multitudesDudes: something happen?

crystalizedEyes: the clouds on prospit tell the future

catboyCliffs: of course you get clouds and derse gets literal eldritch entities whispering to us

catboyCliffs: naturally

multitudesDudes: is THAT what that whispering is? we’ve just been ignoring that

catboyCliffs: oh how i wish i could do that.

crystalizedEyes: moving ON. final battle on skaia is scheduled for the 10th.

crystalizedEyes: and we are NOT winning that without everyone being godtiered.

crystalizedEyes: So if you’ll excuse me, I am going to go find my quest bed.

moonlitRanger: hm. hey miyo do you have the code for awakenings and sleep potions

multitudesDudes: we see where this is going. yeah i’ll make you some, where’s your alchemiter

moonlitRanger: inside the modern library building . you know. the only modern architecture on the entire fucking planet??

multitudesDudes: ah. yeah ok fair enough. we’ll be back soon

catboyCliffs: how’s the frogs?

moonlitRanger: well miyo helped me find the right tadpoles finally. now i just gotta connect the genes and then we. start feeding it grist i guess

moonlitRanger: and the entire planet of skaia after the final battle too?? this game progression is. who came up with this.

crystalizedEyes: A white 30-year-old from America.

moonlitRanger: yeah that checks out

[winter-fog-hisui]

Onshin Tsumeyama: ASCEND ==>

Ah. You’re wearing a windsock. Sure, okay.

Well! That fucking sucked!

Let’s go repair a clock. You’re going to unpack this never, probably.

[winter-fog-hisui]

Well. It's official. You've been getting CLOCKWORK PARTS from the graves you've been robbing. (Your graves. All of them. At least you know how many times you've died, now. HOORAY.) There's a GIANT EMPTY CLOCK on the planet, and you assume fixing it will let TIME FINALLY START AGAIN.

Problem. You're MISSING ONE PIECE OF CLOCKWORK.

You have, however. Found a SINGULAR OPEN GRAVE. With a stone slab at the bottom, instead of a casket. Bright red, embossed with the same gear etched onto EVERY SINGLE GRAVE.

You're... PRETTY SURE you know what to do. You're not exactly LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.

For all the times you've died... You've never had to do the deed yourself.

This, you have decided, is going to FUCKING SUCK.

[miyos-multiverse-express]

[Message Board "Rotomblr Sburb"]

multitudesDudes: HI DOES ANYBODY HAVE ANYTHING DISTRACTING WE WOULD LOVE. A DISTRACTION

moonlitRanger: as someone who's Been distracted with the Fucking Frog Quest what happened

multitudesDudes: Ren might be dead

catboyCliffs: WH AT

multitudesDudes: WE. DON'T KNOW. SOMEONE LITERALLY FUCKING STABBED HIM IN THE BACK AND THEN LEFT HIM TO BLEED OUT ALONE IN THE DATL

catboyCliffs: What what what the FUCK what

moonlitRanger: nat can you Know if

crystalizedEyes: motherfucker . I can try!

catboyCliffs: fucking hell I need to start being able to do that

crystalizedEyes: dont the side effects aren't worth it. Also results are in he'll live

multitudesDudes: I could kiss you but we're taken

crystalizedEyes: and I'm aroace so I wouldn't like it anyway

crystalizedEyes: point being you're welcome

catboyCliffs: yeah uh

catboyCliffs: . thanks.

moonlitRanger: is that offer for help still open though because I swear to fuck these rob damned frogs will be the end of me

multitudesDudes: . Yeah sure we'll fly to your portal tomorrow. provided we don't finally wake up on Derse and can get this fucking quest bed taurosshit done with

moonlitRanger: ace

multitudesDudes: that sure is one of our names

[winter-fog-hisui]

You wake up and -

catboyCliffs: legends FUCK alright then.

That explains why you got stuck with the purple text in pesterchum, at least a little. Even though red and blue are Miyo's colors. Purple moon.

... You can still kind of HEAR THE WHISPERS if you focus.

You decide it's a wonderful day for graverobbing instead of focusing on THAT SHIT.

[miyos-multiverse-express]

[Message Board "Rotomblr Sburb"]

multitudesDudes: so what are we supposed to do with this giant ass grist hoard

crystalizedEyes: What grist - DID YOU KILL YOUR FUCKING DENIZEN

multitudesDudes: what, like it's hard?

crystalizedEyes: :shinjichair:

moonlitRanger: i think it's supposed to be

crystalizedEyes: The last time someone tried to kill their denizen early, they doomed the entire timeline they were in.

multitudesDudes: sounds like a skill issue

multitudesDudes: also we had help 🔹

catboyCliffs: I thought the zodiac wheel was leaving us alone?

multitudesDudes: They are.

catboyCliffs: ???

multitudesDudes: you'll find out.

crystalizedEyes: Sweet fucking Legends. Just. Leave it. We need it for the Ultimate Alchemy later.

multitudesDudes: gotcha

[winter-fog-hisui]

You can say with absolute certainty at this point that you HATE the LAND OF GRAVES AND GEARS. The graveyard that stretches across the planet as far as the eye can see, with YOUR NAME on every headstone, is... unnerving, to put it mildly.

But there's something you're supposed to do here, something that means you won't be able to get out of this game if you don't get it over with, so you try to suck it up and find a clue on what the hell is going on here.

catboyCliffs: there's got to be SOMETHING around here.

So far, you're not having much luck. Just graves and graves and graves and NOTHING. Not even wind. Unnatural stillness, almost like time has stopped. You're the only thing moving. Supposedly there's people that live on this planet SOMEWHERE. You haven't found them, either.

[miyos-multiverse-express]

BELATED OOC POST.

SO UH. there is. Rules for how my rotomblr Sburb works post-wise

any and every post is visible to people not in the game

purely chatlog posts aren't visible to the characters on their blogs (this is important. If you send a character an ask about a chatlog without any narrative I will ignore it because they can't see those. Obviously they happen on pesterchum, the characters do not know their entire pesterchum is public.)

if they get an ask they Realize this is being posted at all (so far this is just Natsuki courtesy of myself and Miyo courtesy of Ren's dash commentary because he has notifications on in character)

if it's part narrative part chatlog it's visible to the characters. so far Natsuki is the only one reading along to those. Miyo Will start soon. Also the characters aren't the ones writing the posts. (The assumption is Beholding is doing it. This is correct.)

[summer-child-in-inaba]

[Message Board "Rotomblr Sburb"]

multitudesDudes: alright that's everyone in

crystalizedEyes: somehow.

moonlitRanger: now we just need to do. everything else?

crystalizedEyes: each of us has a "land quest" behind those portals above the houses. can't help you with those, they're custom for each player

catboyCliffs: wonderful.

crystalizedEyes: although one of us got stuck with the uh. Universe Frog Breeding Quest.

multitudesDudes: the what now

moonlitRanger: i think that might be me? i assume that's what the frog temple I can see down on the planet somewhere is about at least. ... i assume that's a frog.

crystalizedEyes: Congratulations on the space aspect. Yeah, that's the Frog Quest. The point of the game is to make a new universe, Miyo.

multitudesDudes: ... huh.

multitudesDudes: "space aspect"?

crystalizedEyes: legends. how the fuck do I explain god tiers.

crystalizedEyes: Basically, the game looks at our personalities and assigns us an Aspect (there's. twelve? I think? sort of like godly domains I Guess) and a Class. If I had to guess, mine'll be Seer.

catboyCliffs: tracks.

crystalizedEyes: No idea what aspect I'd qualify for. ... hopefully not Doom.

multitudesDudes: is distortion an aspect

crystalizedEyes: nope. i'd bet an entire metaverse excursion of yen on yours being either heart or mind though

multitudesDudes: one of the classes is thief right

crystalizedEyes: Yeah, but given the associated personality with thief I doubt you'll get it.

multitudesDudes: damn. no thief of heart^2 for us

catboyCliffs: What a pity.

crystalizedEyes: I'm gonna assume one of us got Time as an aspect.

multitudesDudes: onshin

catboyCliffs: how could you Possibly know

multitudesDudes: is time a red gear

crystalizedEyes: ... Yes.

multitudesDudes: it's onshin.

catboyCliffs: ... wonderful. More Time Fuckery in my future.

moonlitRanger: good luck dude

[miyos-multiverse-express]

[Message Board “Rotomblr Sburb”]

multitudesDudes: not to alarm anyone but i’ve been blasting away meteors for a solid ten minutes. kinglet you’re still free to host someone right

moonlitRanger: oh shit my bad i got distracted trying to alchemize myself some flight -- yeah sure hang on

crystalizedEyes: On another note: if someone with a western Zodiac sign pfp tries to pester you. Don’t answer.

catboyCliffs: are you speaking from experience or plot

crystalizedEyes: Yes.

multitudesDudes: i think i’ve had the full wheel try to message me already but since i was busy with the meteors. didn’t answer

crystalizedEyes: … given your *abilities*, that’s not much of a surprise honestly.

[winter-fog-hisui]

[catboyCliffs began pestering crystalizedEyes]

catboyCliffs: alright walk me through it

crystalizedEyes: okay so the three things that I assume Miyo placed for you already are the most important bit for right now.

catboyCliffs: gotcha.

crystalizedEyes: also you can expand the room I'm in

catboyCliffs: yeah I think i found the option for that. need it, too, man your room is tiny.

crystalizedEyes: I'll be honest, I have no idea whose room this actually is, but it's not mine

catboyCliffs: yea yea you know what I mean

crystalizedEyes: as an aside. do you want to be called onshin?

catboyCliffs: i mean

catboyCliffs: i kinda got used to it, yeah

crystalizedEyes: onshin it is.

[winter-fog-hisui]

[catboyCliffs began pestering beholdingRainbows]

catboyCliffs: quick question. am i still getting sent back to hell hoenn after this

beholdingRainbows: Your crippling skill issue in that region has gotten somewhat stale, so no.

catboyCliffs: hey-

beholdingRainbows: And may I suggest actually talking to Fuyu once you're back in Hisui.

catboyCliffs: yea yea yea i know

[miyos-multiverse-express]

[multitudesDudes began pestering catboyCliffs]

multitudesDudes: alright so while those two are doing that. we can figure this out right.

catboyCliffs: … it IS a video game. there’s gotta be, like. a tutorial or something included.

Someone materializes BEHIND YOU. You whirl around to find... ONSHIN? He’s wearing a weird outfit you’ve never seen before, all reds with, quite frankly, the stupidest hood you’ve seen in a while. He hands you a HANDWRITTEN NOTEBOOK. You don’t recognise the writing, but given it’s got “ONSHIN TSUMEYAMA’S SBURB Tutorial for Paradox Prevention” written on the cover, it’s probably his.

And in a flash of red (it smells like Time) he’s gone.

... what just HAPPENED?

multitudesDudes: Well There Is Now.

catboyCliffs: ???

multitudesDudes: i have no idea how to explain what just happened but i have a step by step guide on what to do so uh. hang tight and watch your head I guess.

catboyCliffs: what the fuck are you talking ab

You plop down the ALCHEMETER a little TOO CLOSE to Onshin after expanding the room he’s standing in to make the altar-like structure fit, then plop down the TOTEM LATHE and CRUXTRUDER next to them for good measure. Probably a good thing to have them all close together, given they all FUNCTION DEPENDANT ON EACH OTHER, if the tutorial guide you’re holding is to be believed.

catboyCliffs: WHAT THE HELL MIYO.

multitudesDudes: this is a lot more control than we usually have with reality fuckery