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@winterhollowpublicradio
did you take drastic measures
Well, yes. Unfortunately, I did have to contact Penumbra. He has told me not to post about the incident, seeing as it was not a pleasant interaction. I almost feel bad for the poor woman. I believe she has been returned to her family.
To the blonde, angry woman banging on the radio station door: cease this at once or I will be forced to take drastic measures.
Hello Arthur! Are you quite sure he heard your transmission? Are you able to warn him in person? I very much agree that the Starling Ranch is not a place he wants to be. - Theo
Well, he should have heard it. I suppose some people don't. Not all humans are telepathic (the speakers broke a while ago).
Hm.
Perhaps we should fix that.
In the meantime...hopefully the puppets intercept him. I'm not sure if he will survive otherwise.
To the young man who blatantly ignored my last transmission: you are in imminent danger. Do not continue to the historic Starling Ranch.
To the young man wandering aimlessly down the highway, please make your way to the radio station at the top of the hill. You should see a marionette doll nearby. He will keep you safe. Do not let him out of your sight.
Hm. We are experiencing technical difficulties. The squirrels may be eating through the wiring in their attempts to find a dark place to molt.
Whoever threw the brick through the radio station window earlier is advised to turn themselves over immediately.
There is nothing to report today.
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: As has previously been stated, do not feed the wildlife. They crave flesh.
i think the squirrels just need a friend :) im gonna give them french fries
I would advise against that. You might be assimilated.
Something has happened to the squirrels. Do not approach any squirrel that appears wet or drowned.
There is a sickly horse standing on the road leading into town. Do not speak to him, do not ask him about the corpse on his back. He is not supposed to be here and will be removed shortly. Thank you for your patience.
Apologies for the absence. I was briefly recalled to the archives due to an influx of new arrivals. Something about an "imminent dimensional collapse." Regular updates should resume over the weekend.
Your messages weren't coming through, unfortunately. But we can see them again now! How have you been doing? Anything new in Winter Hollow? Best, Theo
That's...a shame. All my hard work...
I've been as well as I can be. Winter Hollow has been unusually quiet. Scattered mountain lion incidents but no tourists have found their way in yet this season. I am putting together a comprehensive tourist guide in my spare time. I thought it might impress Penumbra.
Hello Arthur!! Welcome back! We missed you! - Theo
Hello. I am quite confused though, I must say. I haven't been gone. Haven't you seen my recent updates?
Absolutely refuse to say that, but we can see it. - Theo
Wonderful! I'll let the eyeball back on then.
Testing! Testing! Reply with "I shove hot cheetos in my jorts" if you can see this!