‘ don’t invite any jackasses. ’
‘ ninth grade skirt in an eleventh grade body… perfect. ’
‘ my pants ripped. this is literally all i had. ’
‘ these are my back-up back-ups! ’
‘ seriously though, cover up. like, i’m trying to drive here. ’
‘ how about i relax your face? ’
‘ i did not think that through. ’
‘ any excuse for a fight, right? ’
‘ i don’t start fights, okay? i only finish them. ’
‘ no one should treat a girl like that, especially if that girl is you. ’
‘ never great to hear your childhood crush say it’s super gross in your pants. ’
‘ seriously?! you wanna go down that road?! ’
‘ i just played out the whole sexist conversation in my head and it always ended with me sounding like a dick. ’
‘ that skirt is ridiculous. ’
‘ i am upset. dude touched my lady-bump. ’
‘ did she say anything about me? ’
‘ did you tell her about my cute dimples? ’
‘ i can’t believe you actually gave him your number. ’
‘ i think i’m gonna go out with him… unless you think i shouldn’t. ’
‘ my heart is beating so fast. ’
‘ you can be so sweet when you want to be. ’
‘ is my butt too big? ’
‘ you’re way too good for him. ’
‘ i heard he’s got three nipples. ’
‘ are you kidding me? i live for this shit. ’
‘ i’m sorry i stood you up. i really did want to go out with you. ’
‘ he told me that it wouldn’t be smart if i showed up for our date tonight. ’
‘ he’s been going around asking all of the guys not to ask you out for awhile now. ’
‘ no boobs are worth a broken nose. ’
‘ my boobs are fantastic. some would say breath-taking! ’
‘ you still got a lot to learn, kiddo. ’
‘ if you were here, i’d beat you with my shoe. ’
‘ it is not your job to monitor my dating life, do you understand me? ’
‘ your days of controlling my life are over! ’
‘ i’m not gonna get on that thing like one of your make-out girls! ’
‘ okay, so like 95% of them make out with me, but that is clearly not what’s happening here. ’
‘ no, you won’t see me there because i told you not to come to the party! ’
‘ better get used to disappointment! ’
‘ sorry i ruined your make-out sesh. ’
‘ she kind of tasted like cheetos anyway. ’
‘ oh my god, that was savage! ’
‘ you’ll love this! it tastes like pink! ’
‘ between us, he basically does whatever i tell him. ’
‘ are you– are you a girl princess or a boy princess? ’
‘ you were about to strip on the pool table in front of a bunch of guys and then go skinny dipping. ’
‘ i carried you out before too much of your clothes came off. ’
‘ oh, and you threw up on your dress. ’
‘ i’m assuming this means you saw me in my underwear. ’
‘ i said stop wiggling! ’
‘ aren’t you forgetting something? ’
‘ just get out, dork. ’
‘ never let me drink again. ’
‘ put your shirt on and get out. ’
‘ i told you to stop telling me what to do. ’
‘ i know we don’t really see eye-to-eye on things, but i’m desperate. ’
‘ wow, the independent (name here) who doesn’t want to be told what to do by anyone is begging somebody else for help? ’
‘ it is what it is. ’
‘ i just thought that it’d be nice for you to do something for people who care about you. ’
‘ everyone just saw that, didn’t they? ’
‘ oh my god, kill em now. ’
‘ oh, come on. relax. it was just a kiss. ’
‘ was it? was it just a kiss? ’
‘ if you can’t tell your best friend about something you’re doing, you probably shouldn’t be doing it. ’
‘ i cannot just be another one of your conquests. ’
‘ is that what you think of me? ’
‘ you are the only girl who doesn’t fall at me feet and it’s driving me crazy. ’
‘ it’s one of the things that i like about you… you’re sweet, but you’re not afraid to call me out on things. ’
‘ i don’t know what any of this means. ’
‘ did that clear anything up? ’
‘ i’m still mad at you, but i am cold as shit! ’
‘ and you are taking me home. now! ’
‘ you know, i meant what i said. ’
‘ i’m crazy about you. ’
‘ you’re cute when you’re bossy. you’re really, really cute. ’
‘ you’re cute when you’re bossy. ’
‘ you’re really, really cute. ’
‘ it’s not like anyone’s going to think i have a girlfriend or anything. ’
‘ oh yeah, god forbid anyone actually thinks you’re in a relationship. ’
‘ i was watching porn. ’
‘ we’re all fucked up in one way or another. ’
‘ you think i can change? ’
‘ i don’t think there’s much you can’t do. ’
‘ is there something going on between you two? ’
‘ you were never meant to find out this way. ’
‘ you’re trying to tell me that you two have not slept together? ’
‘ so you really have just been fucking my brother and lying to me. ’
‘ this is bullshit. ’
‘ you’re acting like a hurt, little bitch. ’
‘ please don’t leave like this. ’
‘ the only thing i had that he didn’t was you… and now he has that too. ’
‘ you cannot pin this all on me. ’
‘ just leave me alone. ’
‘ no matter how mad you are at your best friend, you have to forgive them if you give them ice cream. ’
‘ i wanted to apologize. about everything. i shouldn’t have let it happen. it was all my fault. ’
‘ i’m not sorry that it did happen or the way i feel about you. ’
‘ because i love you. ’
‘ i can’t keep hurting people that i care about because of you. ’
‘ nobody wants us to be together. ’
‘ what do you want? ’
‘ i love you and i always, always want to be close to you. ’
‘ being my best friend doesn’t give you the right to tell me who i can love. ’
‘ i’m saying that i love you and i want you. ’
‘ i’m sorry if that hurts you and i’m so sorry that i lied to you before. ’
‘ i’d be lying to you again if i didn’t tell you that i love him with every bit of my heart. ’
‘ if you just can’t accept that then maybe you can’t be a part of my life. ’
‘ i was going to leave, but i decided i had to see you one last time before i went. ’
‘ thanks for staying a little longer. ’
‘ i want to know what it was that you had to tell me. ’
‘ i’m saying i love you. ’
‘ that is way too cheesy and romantic. even for me. ’
‘ you wear superman boxers? ’
‘ look! you’re blushing. how cute! ’
‘ i save you and now you’re trying to blackmail me? ’
‘ sounds so tawdry when you put it that way, but yes. ’
‘ i think she might even let me play with her boobies later. ’
‘ you’re picking boobies over my awesomeness? ’
‘ boobies. my answer is always gonna be boobies. ’
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