It’s not always easy : Reality
If you read captions, fantasies and stories about chastity, then you probably have a pretty idyllic view of what it’s about. A voluptuous sex-crazed woman finds you so attractive that she wants to collect you as her own. She locks on a cage, takes the key and threatens never to let you go. Of course she’s a little sadistic too - she likes to tease you and keep you on edge. You fall for her and you’re putty in her hands. All responsibility for sex is handed over to her, you become her plaything, available to her 24/7 whenever she wants you. This is great, because she’s always hot, always wet, and always up for teasing you.
The reality is a little different. Chastity is about sex and power exchange, this is true. It’s also about patience, communication, sacrifice and prioritization. It requires both partners to be bought into it - and an awareness of what mental state they’re in and what their needs and moods are. I think this is the part that’s so often overlooked, and one which can transform a fun and sexy game into an emotional disaster.
For example, this weekend was incredibly busy for us. We had a huge number of activities planned, which had required a tremendous amount of work. I took on the bulk of it, happy to help and going above and beyond the call of duty. In my sex-amped state of mind I figured this would translate into a nice teasing session at some point. She even hinted on Sunday that we’d be playing later that night. As I’ve been crawling the walls with horniness, I definitely latched onto that.
Come time the evening, we crawl into bed - tired from the last few days. We fire up the laptop and start watching a quick episode. In about 10 minutes she falls asleep. Not a kiss, not a grope, not a tease in sight.
My submissive / chaste side knows it should just accept it, but my horny, hard working side is pissed, so I struggle.
The laptop is put away, the lights go out and I proceed to toss and turn for hours, wrapping myself around an axel of resentment. It’s easy to preach sacrifice and service, but man, is it hard to really embrace it. I sometimes don’t succeed. I knew where he kept the key and unlocked. We’re all human.
I didn’t give myself relief, although I could have (I still haven’t). But I just needed to be out of that damn cage.
There are plenty of lessons to draw from this. I need to be more patient. She needs to hide the key. It’s important to talk. It’s good to play. Don’t watch TV before sex. :)
Another lesson is that regular maintenance of a chaste male is important. If you have a partner who’s locked himself up for you and you enjoy the benefits of the relationship, then you really need to give back. It doesn’t take much. 5 minutes here, 10 minutes there… but a little daily maintenance goes a long way to keeping the game fun and sexy. Without this, it can quickly feel like neglect and make it easy for resentment to grow.
Finally, sometimes it just isn’t clicking. One person has too much on their mind or isn’t really up for the game. It’s OK to be honest about that than to pretend everything is perfect. Sometimes timing is important.
The only other way around this kind of situation that I can imagine is going full-FLR on your partner’s ass and punishing them to correct their attitude. A Queen would need to forcefully assert dominance. Unfortunately I don’t think many women are really comfortable doing this - or even want to - it doesn’t feel like a cooperative relationship at that point. Although secretly, what locked up guy wouldn’t want a little more assertion / dominance from their partner?
So, if you’re interested in chastity play - you sometimes need to take the bad with the good. Relationships and people are complicated. It’s not always the fantasy advertised in chastity captions…
gummygunk
blakekathryn
