I’ve been a nurturer for so long in this relationship and I feel like not much of that has been returned. I need time to find myself.
You managed to temporarily convince me that love can conquer this slump and I’ve stayed with you. As the days pass, I realize that your unapologetic neediness is what has been bothering me the most. You expect me to take care of you because you believe it’s my job to do so. I have enough on my plate just taking care of myself. Sometimes I feel like you’re a dependent of mine and not my partner. There’s a reason I don’t have kids right now.
And you love my gender-role. If we’re going to play gender-roles, you should at least provide for me financially and that’s not happening either. What IS happening is, I’m picking up your slack financially and taking care of your physical and emotional needs. Even with all that, you don’t genuinely care to spend quality time with me. That’s not right.
Case in point, this weekend. You bailed out on my friend’s birthday get-together last minute and went to a neighborhood party by your mom’s instead. Came home at 4am. Then, you spent all day today out with your friends and left me alone, still.
I’ll be gone all of next week, traveling for work. I’d think you’d want to spend some time with me before I go. Nope. I guess it’s too much to ask.
I love you very much but where’s your effort?
You’re not trying with actions.
I am trying to be optimistic and tell myself we’ll be fine but I am not willing to put in as much effort as I have in the past because I don’t have much left to give.
I don’t want to be mean or unresponsive to your affection but I also don’t want to put in ¾ of the effort that goes into this relationship and that’s where I feel like I’ve been. If you want to make it work, you need to get with it.