i don’t think people understand how genuinely insane it feels losing the bias you spent 6 years loving and building your whole life around. heeseung wasn’t just my favorite idol, he was literally a part of my everyday life.
i’m getting so overwhelmed because i still love them, and i can’t even say i stopped loving them just because heeseung left. for 6 fucking years i watched them grow up, glow up, become such a huge part of my life, and now suddenly i’m watching their downfall and it doesn’t even feel real.
i think my brain just refuses to accept it because i built so much of myself around this group for so many years. it’s like my mind automatically pushes the reality away because there’s no way the group i centered my whole personality around could end up like this.
same with heeseung leaving. ever since i-land he’s been my favorite. i always voted for him, always supported him, always defended him. and when he first left, my brain genuinely believed there was no way he was actually gone. i was so convinced he’d come back eventually because it just didn’t feel possible otherwise. but now it’s starting to hit me that he really isn’t coming back, and i still can’t fully process it. like what do you mean the group and the ult bias i spent years loving just disappeared? i don’t want to believe it, but i have to. and the worst part is i don’t even love them less. they’re still my babies, and i genuinely don’t know what i’d do without my enhypen. they’re still my favorite in so many ways. but after 6 years, it feels different now. they’re my favorite, but not my number one anymore, and it hurts so much to even admit that. i don’t even know how to explain it properly.
romaincrisis
stormborns
snowghoul
ellievsbear
pixelskylines
baratheonpilled
