Old Fat Bastard Blog

Single Big Bearded 45M from middle of nowhere PA. Just blog about things I find extremely erotic. Ask questions or just Message. ( I don’t have or want a telegram or whats app)

[wouldntyoulikeyoknow]

Unpopular Opinion

 I Don’t Mind a Woman with an OnlyFans

You ever notice how a bunch of dudes shout, “I could never be with a woman who has an OnlyFans!” like they're taking a solemn oath at a church altar? Like they’re knights in shining hypocrisy, defending the Holy Grail of “traditional values”… all while their credit card info is already saved on the site?

Yeah. I’ve noticed too.

See, most guys talk a big game. “I want a classy woman.” “I couldn’t date someone who sells nudes.” Meanwhile, these same dudes are paying $14.99 a month to watch her lick frosting off her fingers while pretending she likes anime. Let’s not act brand new.

Personally? I don’t mind a woman with an OnlyFans. At all. In fact, I think it’s kind of badass. She’s making money off the same thirsty gaze that the rest of us are pretending not to have. She’s taking ownership of her body, her content, and her cashflow. That’s not shameful—that’s strategic.

And let’s be honest: every woman on OnlyFans has a longer block list than your emotional range.

It’s always the same guys too. The ones who say things like, “I’d never take her home to my mom.” Buddy, your mom’s on Facebook arguing about vaccine conspiracies and tagging you in minion memes—calm down. She’ll survive.

The truth is, it’s not about the platform. It’s about whether or not you can handle a woman who isn’t asking for your permission to exist the way she wants. She’s not waiting to be “approved” by the boys at the bar who are six IPAs deep and still living at home.

So no, I don’t mind a woman with an OnlyFans. What I do mind are men who act too pure to date her but mysteriously always know her username.

And here’s the kicker: If you’re the kind of man who respects honesty, autonomy, and a little edge, there’s something undeniably attractive about that level of control. It's not about the platform—OnlyFans is just the stage. It's about the woman on it.

So no, I wouldn’t mind a woman with an OnlyFans. I’d mind a woman who lies to herself, hides her truth, or plays small because she’s afraid of what people might think. Give me the one who posts with purpose, who turns desire into power, and who tells society to go clutch its pearls somewhere else.

Let the other guys sit around pretending they’re too good for it. I’ll take the woman who knows her worth—and isn’t afraid to charge for it.

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[wouldntyoulikeyoknow]

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[wouldntyoulikeyoknow]

Under the Rowan Moon

Steam curls like breath from the Otherworld, and I feel the veil thin as he kneels before me. This is how the old stories begin— with water, with silence, with trust given freely.

His hands know the songs of ancestors, the way druids once learned the land by listening. Warm water anoints me as if from a sacred well, and the blade gleams pale like moonlight caught in silver.

I am not afraid of the edge— it moves with the care of one who honors the body as holy ground. Each stroke is slow, intentional, a charm whispered without words. I feel myself shed what is old, like winter loosening its grip, like Brigid’s fire waking the spring.

I am revealed, not bared— a goddess stepping from mist, softened by devotion, strengthened by trust. My breath deepens, my spirit hums, and I remember what the Celts always knew: that intimacy is a form of magic when it is given, not taken.

When he is done, I am smooth as river stone, warm as hearthfire, glowing beneath the rowan moon. Not prepared for something else— but complete within the rite itself.

This is not desire rushing forward. This is love standing still long enough to become legend.

[wouldntyoulikeyoknow]

🚫 Attention, bots, scammers, and assorted digital gremlins: save us all the time and don’t slide into my DMs. I promise, I can smell “Telegram hustle energy” from a mile away. No, I don’t have Signal. No, I don’t have WhatsApp. No, I’m not interested in your “totally legit bundle of random stolen nudes.” (Seriously—who’s buying that? Do better.)

If you’re here to pitch me a pyramid scheme, a miracle crypto, or the world’s sketchiest OnlyFans knock-off… just know I’ve already hit “block” in my head before you even finish typing “hiii frnd.”

👉 Quick note though: I’ve got zero beef with real OnlyFans creators. If you’re out there putting in the work, more power to you—you’re doing your thing, and I respect the grind. My problem’s with the knock-off bots peddling stolen content like they’re hawking bootleg DVDs in a Walmart parking lot.

✨ Now, if you’re actually a real, breathing, genuine woman who likes conversation more than copy-paste scams, my DMs are wide open. I like actual chats, not captcha tests disguised as people.

This blog is mostly me tossing whatever thoughts rattle around in my skull onto “paper,” but I’m not opposed to good company. Think of it like a mix of late-night brain dumps, sarcastic commentary, and the occasional half-baked idea I should probably have kept in drafts—but didn’t.

So bots, begone. Real humans, welcome. 🖤

[wouldntyoulikeyoknow]

🌹 "Goddess of the Forbidden Garden" 🌹

Heels sink into dew-drenched earth,

a click with every step —

like a metronome counting down

to something sacred…

to something sinful.

The forest watches.

Leaves tremble.

And I walk bare-breasted beneath twilight,

my swollen belly taut,

a living altar —

pregnant, powerful, worshipped.

Silk clings to my hips —

black lace panties barely hiding

the wetness beneath.

Stockings, held by garters,

trace every curve of my thighs,

but it’s my feet you stare at, isn’t it?

Peeking from thigh-high leather boots,

arched like offerings,

toes curling in the grass…

waiting for your tongue.

You kneel.

Of course you do.

A stranger in the woods,

drawn to me like prey to fire.

"Touch my belly," I command.

Feel the life inside —

our child, your queen's heir,

growing from your devotion.

And when you kiss my ankle,

taste the salt of my skin,

my nipple leaks —

a drop of milk falls to the moss.

"Drink from me," I whisper,

"but only after you’ve tasted everything."

You look up, trembling.

Good.

Now spread my thighs.

Lick my clit slow —

circles, just like you’re begging for forgiveness.

But I’m not holy.

Just hungry.

And when I lift my hips,

not in orgasm —

but to urinate across your face —

you don’t flinch.

You open your mouth.

You thank me.

That’s when I know:

this isn’t just worship.

This is ritual.

My boots press into your chest.

My belly glows in moonlight.

My pussy glistens,

my nipples drip,

and somewhere inside —

our baby kicks.

"Again," I purr.

"You haven’t finished pleasing me."

[wouldntyoulikeyoknow]

The cool air settles low across the field,

A soft breath drifting like the curve of her side,

lingering, tender, unhurried.

The mist clings to the meadow as though in longing,

the way fabric rests against her skin,

revealing and concealing in the same quiet motion.

Beyond the open grass, the trees rise in silhouette,

tall and steadfast, like the strength of her back,

spine etched against the horizon.

They guard the stillness with the patience

of a body at rest,

yet alive with hidden energy,

waiting only for the light to touch it.

Above, the sky opens in strokes of lavender and peach,

colors blooming the way her cheeks flush

with unspoken warmth.

Each shade feels like a confession of beauty,

a reminder that perfection is not loud,

but whispered across edges of dawn.

From my porch I feel the morning lean closer,

wrapping itself around me like her arms,

the hush of the countryside pressing into my chest

with the same quiet certainty as her embrace.

The earth holds itself in pause,

as if in awe of its own reflection—

as I am, every time I look at her,

the stillness filled not with silence,

but with reverence for a body that is landscape,

and a soul that is horizon.

[wouldntyoulikeyoknow]

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[wouldntyoulikeyoknow]

OnlyFans is the social platform revolutionizing creator and fan connections. The site is inclusive of artists and content creators from all

Check out my friend OF. Tell her Grumpy sent you for a 10 day free promo.

[wouldntyoulikeyoknow]

Red Fire

There is a spell in your hair,

that fierce crown of fire and wine,

a burning I cannot quench—

every strand a whispered promise

of nights that blaze without end.

Your lips—

they are not simply lips,

but the very edge of temptation,

soft curves that make prayers falter,

and oaths break like glass.

I want to taste the heat of them,

to find the secret sparks

hidden in their press.

The pale canvas of your skin

is not a body,

but a scripture written in freckles,

each mark a sacred star,

a constellation I ache to trace

with my tongue,

with my breath,

until I know your galaxies by heart.

Your eyes burn deeper than flame,

molten pools where I lose myself,

and when they find me,

I am stripped of all my armor.

What is left

but the trembling devotion of a man

before a goddess of fire?

Redhead enchantress,

you are fascination made flesh—

the ache I cannot name,

the hunger I cannot tame.

You are love sharpened into desire,

a wildfire draped in silk,

and I—

helpless, willing,

would gladly burn

to keep you close.

[wouldntyoulikeyoknow]

GIFT

Your body is a quiet miracle,

each drop a story whispered in warmth and devotion.

I gather you close, my hands tracing the soft curves

as if holding something sacred, something precious.

I lean in slowly, lips brushing your skin with reverence,

feeling the gentle pulse beneath, the steady flow of life you offer.

With every taste, every drop I nurse from you,

I savor the sweetness — not just of milk,

but of trust, of connection, of something beautifully raw.

Your gift is a sacred offering,

and I drink it in like a prayer,

letting it nourish not just my body,

but my soul.

I stay with you in that quiet space,

lost in the warmth of your giving,

the tenderness of your offering,

knowing that in this moment,

we are both made whole.

[wouldntyoulikeyoknow]

Looking for Someone Who Gets It

Alright, cards on the table — I’m 47, a Sagittarius, and a military veteran who’s lived enough life to have stories worth telling (and a few I’m still figuring out). I’m not some polished, picture-perfect guy with a Hollywood backstory — I’m a real man who’s been through the good, the bad, and the “you can’t make this stuff up” moments.

Right now, I’m on the warpath — not in combat boots this time, but in sneakers — working hard to drop weight, get healthier, and become the best version of myself. I’m not looking for perfection, but I am looking for someone who values progress, honesty, and a little bit of grit.

I’ll be honest: there’s been a little drama in my life lately. Life doesn’t exactly hand out clean slates for free, but I’m actively sweeping mine off and shutting the door on the nonsense. If you’ve been through your own storms, you know that’s not a red flag — that’s just life seasoning you for better things.

What I’m looking for is a woman who appreciates loyalty, straight talk, and someone who will have your back no matter what. I like laughing until my sides hurt, good conversations that go until 2 a.m., and the kind of connection where you don’t have to wear a mask.

If you’re looking for someone who’s real, who will make an effort, and who knows that relationships are built, not stumbled into — I might be your guy.

[wouldntyoulikeyoknow]

The Quiet Realization of a Life Alone

There’s a quiet kind of truth that settles in after enough time, after enough heartbreak, after enough late nights where sleep never comes and the silence becomes deafening. And lately, I’ve come to accept something that’s been circling my mind for longer than I care to admit: I am bound to be alone for the remainder of my existence.

It’s not a declaration born from bitterness or dramatics. It’s not a cry for attention. It’s the result of sitting with myself—really sitting—with the full weight of my lived experience. I’ve used up the better part of my lifespan. Not just in years, but in energy, in hope, in the kind of wide-eyed dreaming that once believed things could be different. And now, my body—once strong, once dependable—feels like it’s turned against me. The things I used to take for granted are now struggles, daily reminders that time has not been gentle.

Insomnia is its own slow torture. It wears you down in ways that others can’t always see. It frays the edges of your mind, distorts your thoughts, and leaves you emotionally raw. Add to that the chaos that comes with a traumatic brain injury, and the constant undercurrent of PTSD, and I often feel like I’m carrying too much for any one person to bear. And certainly too much for anyone else to want to carry with me.

There’s this quiet belief I’ve developed—that I’m fundamentally undateable. Not because I’m unloving or incapable of love, but because the layers of what I’ve lived through make it hard to let anyone in. I feel like a warning sign in human form: damaged, unstable, too much. The vulnerability it would take to ask someone to see me—to really see me—feels impossible. And if I’m being honest, the shame of that realization weighs heavier than almost anything else.

I’m not writing this to wallow. I’m writing it because there’s power in naming what’s true for you, even if it’s not pretty. Even if it scares people away. Maybe especially then. This isn’t a plea. It’s a confession. It’s a moment of honesty in a world that often rushes us to “heal” or “move on” before we’ve even caught our breath.

So here I am—weathered, worn down, and still standing. Alone, yes. But not silent.

[wouldntyoulikeyoknow]

Sagittarian self-aware realizations (don't read if you are unhealed)!

As an older Sagittarian who is working hard to actively heal my crap, these are some things about us that can, unfortunately, be true:

1. We can be A LOT. I know I can be. I can feel when I'm really keyed up and being annoying, but it's hard for me to stop it sometimes. Especially if I'm trying to have a good time. And especially if we are talking about one of my special interests. I often go home, calm down, and then replay stuff over and over because I worried about how annoying I was.

2. I am both extremely bougie and extremely ratchet. I own items from Hermes, I'm well-read, my house is immaculate, and I've been to see a lot of the world's wonders. I will also run around outside barefoot, shotgun a Busch lite, and eat rotisserie chicken with my hands out of the package in front of my TV while watching Cops.

3. My humor is often ill-timed and inappropriate, but I find myself hilarious, even when no one else does. I have put my foot in my mouth so many times. My humor is dry, dark, and outlandish. Not many people get it, but those that do are my people. Everyone else just side-eyes me and I slink away as fast as possible.

4. I think everything is a new adventure, no matter how bad. If my house were leveled by a tornado, I would start researching how to turn my SUV into the best, cutest car camper ever. My optimism is weird, pervasive and often not helpful. I give myself about 5 minutes to be sad/mad, then start figuring out how to best manage my new "side quest." This is very annoying and unhelpful for my Cancer husband, who wallows for days and rails against the universe.

[wouldntyoulikeyoknow]

[wouldntyoulikeyoknow]