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@wrenchings-a
it won't survive me,
private raven reyes from the cw's the 100. [personal interpretation, not canon adherent. a focal study in loss, transformation, & coming out on top of an avalanche of pain.] interpreted by gabi. sideblog to @prophetice. affiliated with @fevrals, @noncriminal.
more information under the cut.
“everyone said, don’t go that way.” [from bogo dogo.]
it takes an army to keep her sarcasm at bay. raven doesn't find the bounty hunter's story amusing— it was, in actuality, a waste of her time. if the stoic expression etched across her face didn't speak loud enough, then she'd do it herself. ❝ and let me guess, you went that way and the jawas stole your ship parts. ❞ she cuts him off, a hand waving for extra dramatic flair. it wasn't the first time she'd heard a story similar to his— a person wandering into her latest career endeavor, begging her to fix what the jawas had stolen. she figures, at the rate people continue coming in, it's bound to continue. [if anything, she should be thanking the community of jawas for bringing more business to her doorstep. a former imperial mechanic and engineer for hire didn't bring much trust at first glance.]
besides, the more time the bounty hunter spent explaining the monotonous details, the less time she'd have to fix his ship. a loss for him and a loss of credits for her.
hopping off from the stool she's perched on, it takes her a moment to get adjusted— fingers reaching down to tighten the straps of her leg brace before she makes her way over to the parked vessel. a survey of the ship is taken and at first glance, all seems in order. you wouldn't be able to tell what the jawas had taken, which only fuels her concern. if there's nothing the mechanic deems as an immediate repair, what in the hell did they take?
❝ do you know what they took? or at least the general area they were scrounging? on the outside, your ship looks fine— i'd even go as far as saying great. ❞ a rare compliment from her.
there's nothing like a little pain to remind you you're alive.
the 100, the cw / perto do coração selvagem, clarice lispector.
“you grip it tight inside, like a knife.” from octavia <3
there's always been a fire threatening to rage inside raven. the day she was born, the match was struck and the wick was lit. day-to-day, she keeps water on top of it, but the days continue to grow longer and so does the pain. the pain never dissipates, it only continues to grow. [clarke once told her the earth was evil and wouldn't be missed if it were to be destroyed tomorrow. raven's beginning to believe in the theory herself.] when she looks at octavia, she bears witness to a warrior— the polar opposite of everything raven is. a sword doesn't cling in her grasp, but a wrench does— intelligence existing in place as her weapon. physical strength is something she'll never understand, an opportunity stolen from the paralysis rotting in her spinal cord. but with octavia, it's captivating.
i don't know what to do with all this pain / you grip it tight inside, like a knife. the words flow easily from octavia's mouth and for a moment, raven almost believes she can do it. reaching down into her belly, a hand attempts to grab at the butterflies fluttering. they fail, the flapping becoming more consistent as a result. her anxiety grows, warm tears threatening to spill from her eyes. the pain grows.
"i can't do that, though. i can't... make it into a knife." suffering can feel religious if you do it properly. it can etch itself into your bones and make it into its home. [home is the first grave, after all.] glancing away, her right hand is brought up to her eyes, endeavoring to dab away any tears. "i have tried for months to make something out of all this— out of everything we've gone through, and i never can. it's just this... never-ending cycle of eternal misery. we win, but i still lose."
and she'll always lose.
@vtriggers, joker : i always knew the world moves on.
"oh, come on. that's not fair and you know it." seated in two chairs on the presidium, they'd claimed shore leave as theirs for the day— the rest of the normandy crew remaining on board as they assembled their next steps against the looming reaper threat. the scenery of the citadel was a nice change of pace, an antithesis to the bland decor of their regular vessel— raven swears she can still hear the humming from the engine hull in her ears.
there's little time to rest in the midst of a war, even as an engineer; constant landings on planets, receiving tremendous amounts of damage, and repeating the cycle within days took a toll on the mind, and on her fingers. on the citadel, though, life continues without a care in the world. since departing the normandy, she's only heard the word reaper spoken once— courtesy of joker earlier in the day, earning a groan from raven before she shushed him. it's as if the world moves on, her companion's words being a reminder of such. she can sense the irritation in his tone— a constant growing theme. they're all tired, but they aren't the only ones.
"we're at war, joker. people don't want to wait around until they die— they're scared, even more than we are." she pauses, arms moving to cross across her chest as she leans further back in the seat. "don't beat up on the people too hard. they're just trying to survive like we all."
I never thought I’d be so happy to see someone in pain. | (insp.)
@tyefights, din : from here, i can say, thank you.
she's seen a lot of things throughout her life, but a mandalorian traveling with a child of an unknown species? that was a first. to say it sparked her interest was an understatement, and once raven had her mind set on something— it became tunnel vision. a barreling cannonball, destructive to anything and anything in her path. it'd started off innocently, eyes peering up at the sky as a razor crest landed in the field adjacent to her work. anyone could have seen that heaping pile of shit land. upon closer inspection, (the pilot hadn't landed at a landing platform— they'd chosen a fucking field. of course she was going to observe.) choosing to poke around once the coast was clear, it'd seen better days. at its sight, raven was disgusted, and got straight to work.
when the mandalorian returned, after a brief argument about why she'd chosen to begin repairs on the ship in the first place, including blasters aimed at one another— they'd settled on a mutually beneficial arrangement. raven ended up with a new job and a permanent roof over her head, the mandalorian ended up with a personal live-in mechanic. even the child won with some new company aboard who'd give him googly eyes. a great success!
a wrench is in her grasp when she hears him speak, mouth curling at its corner. every time he says thank you, it's a melody to her ears. the perfect hymn. she finishes adjusting the screws to the engine coupling, setting the wrench aside on a nearby table. "you don't have to thank me. i'm just doing my job. if i don't do it, you surely won't." the last time they'd spoke, he'd mentioned something about a potential lead— the search for the jedi for the child. if her tenure with the empire had taught her one thing, the jedi were extinct.
"any luck with that lead? paygrade isn't good enough for me to pop my head above the engine room."
get to know me: [8/20 female characters] • raven reyes (the 100) “IIt’s not your blood that defines you, it’s your heart.”
𝙻𝙰𝚄𝚁𝙴𝙻 𝙷𝙴𝙻𝙻 𝚂𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚂. feel free to change pronouns/tenses to suit scenarios, etc.
“let’s step carefully into the dark.”
“once we’re in, i’ll remember my way around.”
“who will i become tonight?”
“nobody cared for the stories i had about no good guys.”
“I always knew the world moves on.”
“i start the day high and it ends so low.”
“i used to think i’d be done by twenty.”
“though maybe at thirty, i’ll see a way to change.”
“i always thought the choice was mine.”
“i just chose wrong.”
“you grip it tight inside, like a knife.”
“open up your heart like the gates of hell.”
“you stay soft, get beaten; only natural to harden up.”
“just tell me what you want to do.”
“everyone said, don’t go that way.”
“so, of course, to that, i said — i think i’ll go that way.”
“come in, come in, whatever you are.”
“take it all, whatever you want.”
“i didn’t know what it would take.”
“sometimes i think i am free, until i find i’m back in line again.”
“i’ve laid awake since one and now it’s four o’clock.”
“and there’s nothing i can do, not much i can change.”
“i give it up to you, i surrender.”
“can i give it up to you? would that be okay?”
“if you would just make one mistake, what a relief that would be.”
“but i think for as long as we’re together, i’ll be the only heartbreaker.”
“i’ll be the loser in this game.”
“i’ll be the bad guy in the play.”
“i apologize, you forgive me.”
“i won’t make the same mistake that i made for fifteen years.”
“i could be a new person.”
“i will be a new person.”
“i need you to love me more.”
“how do other people live?”
“i wonder how they keep it up.”
“come back to mine, we’ll pretend the world ends tomorrow.”
“there’s nothing left for you.”
“try and go outside. nothing waits for you.”
“i haven’t given you what you need.”
“you wanted me, but couldn’t reach me.”
“i’m sorry, it should’ve been me.”
“must be lonely loving someone trying to find their way out of a maze.”
“i guess this is the end.”
“i’ll have to learn to be somebody else.”
“it’s been you and me since before i was me.”
“without you, i don’t yet know quite how to live.”
“from here, i can say, thank you.”
“we fought again.”
“you say you love me, i believe you do.”
“you just don’t like me, not like you used to.”
“we may be ending.”
“that’s where you loved me.”
