solipsistic siren song

19, transfem. she/it nsfw sometimes

[tauxel]

it's mildly funny that i have a high enough dissociative and dxm in particular tolerance that pcp would likely be comforting instead of mind-rending

[tauxel]

one reason i stay unmedicated even in the face of evidence that it can make me subjectively happier is that i believe the fear i have will become useful when i learn to properly integrate it instead of it lurking like a spectre over me that must be banished

[tauxel]

true curse of neuroticism is always having a great outpouring of things to say that are always reflexive instead of anything more broadly applicable

[tauxel]

not to say all of this isn't 'productive', i wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't, but i could be honing literally any other skill

[tauxel]

true curse of neuroticism is always having a great outpouring of things to say that are always reflexive instead of anything more broadly applicable

[tauxel]

not sleeping is a very annoying response to stress

[tauxel]

every four years or so an alter forms out of the universal desire for a new personality or outlook and it wields all this desire as immense influence and drive likened to slow-burning mania, but without all the brazenness of true mania it still gets limited by the body's preexisting biases and disposition and must filter itself through them until they give way in a manner that is both exhilarating and incredibly frustrating

[tauxel]

i feel like i could easily write many pages on my psychological dynamics regarding nicotine with more interesting things to say than 90% of the other drugs i've been entwined with which in of itself is noteworthy but i'm not about to

[tauxel]

taking a walk outside and feeling no new feelings has more or less cemented that i have spent every last experience in this miserable habitat

[tauxel]

prozac created a really unique psychotic thought pattern in my head where i would both compulsively keep in mind everything i had access to that could harm me i.e. razors, knives, pills, box cutters, and imagine the ways that i could hurt myself with them and also be so scared of this happening that i would stash all of them away from my immediate access out of fear that i might spontaneously act on these thoughts

[tauxel]

weird mood making me turn my lights red and stare at the ceiling

[rip-weed-wuppy]

rest in peace weed wuppy

reblog to pay respects

[oliviawebsite]

hi sorry for begging but i'm in a lot of pain and can't move my body a whole lot and need to get some groceries so if anyone wants to throw a few bucks my way to help me get some shit delivered it would be a great help thankyou i love you <3

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[tauxel]

drug addict's pacifier

[tauxel]

smiled so much on call that my jaw hurts

[tauxel]

included pentane, cyclopentane, cyclohexane, propene, isobutene, hexane, methyl vinyl ketone [...] 0.31 g secondary PM2.5 per kg of refined crude oil [...] is essential for addressing domestic energy requirements [...] unintentional emission, leakage, or discharge of gases or vapors from pressure-containing equipment or facilities [...] a group I carcinogen by the International Agency for Research on Cancer [...] surpassed the 24-hour standard limits [...] has been designed to create maximum value from the production system [...] role in the formation of secondary organic aerosols [...] owing to its technological advancements and production capabilities

[tauxel]

fuck this overextension my body is sore in the stupidest places

[redmenacealine]

please help two brazilian trans women escape a shitty house

so, my father has moved on from verbal abuse to physical, and almost broke my nose the other day. our home life has become unsustainable, so now me and my gf need to move out as soon as possible, for our own safety.

any amount would be greatly appreciated, we need any help we can get.

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[redmenacealine]

please, we still need help...