Innocent - Remus Lupin x Reader
Remus and Y/N are old friends and old lovers, turned astray. They meet again, both teaching at Hogwarts - and are reunited with an old friend.
This fic is gender neutral:)
You knocked on Remus’s door lightly, expecting his voice to grant you access to his office so you could talk to him about what had been playing on your mind all week - all year, in fact.
There was no reply. You knocked a bit harder again and waited a few seconds before you slowly opened the door.
A smile graced your lips looking at his messy, disorderly office. Everything had a place though, you knew that. You looked at his desk and saw a very familiar piece of parchment laying there. You audibly gasped. The parchement unlocked a memory you forgot you had. You moved forward and lightly brushed your hands across the worn face of the paper, your memory doing dances in your head. You took your wand from your pocket and said the all-too familiar words and the parchment lit up. Your eyes scanned the expanse of paper until you found the name you were looking for, and what you saw absolutely floored you.
Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. Together.
Your mouth opened and you rushed from the office, making your way to the willow as quickly as you could. You touched the knot and crawled through the tunnels you knew too well until you reached the shack, and listened out for voices. You could hear murmers from the closest bedroom and you snuck up to the door, careful not to any make noise. You peaked through the crack in the door and saw three of your students, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley - you rolled your eyes, always the three of them. There were two voices that distinctly belonged to two men who were once very important to you, one in particular.
You listened as Remus told the story of his time at Hogwarts, and about what headmaster Dumbledore had done for him during his time there. You thought about Hogwarts and the time you had there, along with Remus, Sirius, Peter and...James. You lowered your head, deciding to open the door and show yourself. The door creaked and all five heads turned your way. Sirius raised his wand quickly but lowered it as soon as he saw your face, a glimpse of a smile shadowing his face.
‘Y/N.’ He said so simply, yet so emotionally.
A surge of emotions you didn’t expect hit you with a full force, and you moved forward to embrace Sirius in a long-awaited hug. You caught Remus’s eye over Sirius’s shoulder and he gave you a kurt nod, his gentle eyes telling you everything you needed to know - Sirius was innocent.
‘He’s innocent, Remus. I know it.’ You shouted, your hands throwing themselves around in exasperation.
‘Y/N please don’t take sides. I don’t want to believe it either, and I never thought anything like this would happen but it has and I can’t see any other explanation. We’re going to have to believe it, because how else would...he have found Lily and James?’ Remus replied, clearly upset. He was confused, even more so than you. Sirius was his closest friend, aside from James, and he didn’t know what to think.
‘What about Harry? What is he going to do now? We can’t leave him with Lily’s sister, she’s bloody awful. We need to take him in, Remus. We can’t leave him.’ You changed the subject, trying to take your mind off Remus’s incredible narrow-mindedness at Sirius.
‘Y/N, you know he’ll be better off with that family. They legally have rights to him, and we don’t. The only other person with legal rights to Harry is...Sirius.’ Remus reasoned, and this only infuriated you further.
‘For Merlin’s sake, Remus. How can you be so bloody narrow-minded? You KNOW it wasn’t Sirius who did this, I know you do. How could it be? Lily, James and Harry meant more to him than life itself. Could you just open yourself to the possibility it wasn’t him?’ You shouted, on the verge of crying. You got upset when you were angry, it was natural.
‘Y/N. It was Sirius. How could it be anyone else?’
He stunned you silent for moment. How could he believe your best friend, Sirius Black, would ever do such a thing as to betray you and your friends like this?
‘I know you don’t mean that, Rem. You’re just emotional. You can’t mean that.’ You shook your head.
He folded his arms and stared at his shoes.
‘I...I can’t be here if you’re going to think like that.’ You said, taking a few steps back from him. You took a deep breath in to try and stop your tears falling. Remus looked angry, and he looked down and brushed a hand down his face.
Those three words hit you like a truck. You swayed on the spot, dumbfounded. You stared at each other for a few moments, but it felt like hours. Flashes of the morning sun spread across your entwined hands, laughs as you twirled round the common room to cheesy music he’d found at the second-hand shop and kisses stolen behind closed doors and when no one was looking crossed your mind. You felt as if the wind had been knocked from your chest, and a seething rage filled it instead. He moved towards you, seemingly sympathetic.
You moved away from him sharply and marched upstairs, throwing as many of your belongings you could find into a bag. Remus didn’t attempt to stop you, but simply waited at the top of the stairs until you were satisfied you had everything you needed. You pushed past him in a blurry, enraged manor. You heard him follow you down the stairs, and stop when he saw your hand hovering over the doorknob.
‘Come back to me when you realise the truth.’ You flung the door open and slammed it behind you. He made no attempt to follow you, and you cried as you made your way further down the street, hearing no noise behind you.
That was the last time you saw him, until he turned up at Hogwarts at the beginning of the year, well over a decade later.
‘Sirius. I never believed it was you. Please. I tried. I really tried to prove it wasn’t you. Please believe me.’ You muttered into his shoulder, holding your old friend tight.
‘It’s okay Y/N, Remus has told me what you have done. It’s okay.’ He said softly, moving away and running a finger across your cheek.
‘You’re in on this too?’ Harry croaked, turning to look at Ron and Hermione; a look of shock across all three of their faces.
‘Harry, let us explain. Please.’
You told him everything that had happened. About your time at Hogwarts with his mother and father, and about the consequences of that fateful night at Godric’s Hollow. Sirius interjected at points with his thoughts, as did Remus. Finally, you moved to Peter.
‘But what’s my rat got to do with anything?’ Ron said rather agitatedly, said rat squealing and writhing in his hands.
‘Because Ron, your rat is not a rat. He is a human, and a wizard. And he goes by the name Peter Pettigrew.’ Remus said gently, pointing to the rat.
After some heavy convincing, Ron gave the rat over and you performed a spell to return Peter to his snivelling human form and get what he deserved.
You sat inside the castle, watching the night sky move along from your office with the old window wide open as you let the smell of the summer night drift through. You cast an eye to the moon, a familiar movement that had become habit over the years. You watched the tiny sliver of the moon cast it’s bright light over the grounds of the school, and your mind became encompassed with the events of the previous night. Harry and Hermione had told Remus and yourself what they had done, about the timeturner and letting Sirius go. To say you were relieved was an understatement, but anger and guilt still hung over you as you thought about Peter Pettigrew still walking free while Sirius was forced into hiding.
‘It’s a fine night, is it not?’
Remus spoke behind you. You jumped slightly, not having heard him enter. You looked in his direction, taking in the man you’d missed so dearly. He looked tired and worn down, much older since the last time you’d seen him. His clothes were worn, and you noticed new scars littered across his face and neck. Your heart ached still, even after what had happened. You remained silent and stared at the floor, not really sure what to say.
‘Are you alright?’ You decided to ask. You’d been apart for many years, but your concern for the man you still loved remained ever-present.
‘I’m just glad no one was hurt.’ He replied sullenly. You watched as he shuffled his feet, crossing his arms and looking everywhere but where you sat. A few moments passed, the silence engulfing the both of you to the point it became unbearable.
‘Did you want anything, Rem?’ You winced at the nickname that hadn’t left your mouth in years. You felt guilt after you said that, feeling as though you came across cold. You didn’t want that, in fact you wanted anything but that. You got up and moved to the front of your desk, perching on the top and crossing your ankles and keeping your eyes firmly trained on the floor. You’d faltered, not knowing whether to excuse yourself or remain silent. However, he decided for you.
‘I wanted to say that I’m sorry.’
You froze, not expecting those words to hit your ears. You remained staring at the floor, not really knowing where to start. You saw his feet move closer and you lifted your head to look at him.
‘Don’t be sorry, you didn’t have any control over what happened last night-’ You started, but was soon interrupted.
‘I didn’t mean last night, Y/N. I meant I’m sorry for what happened since the moment you walked out of our door 14 years ago.’ He put a hand on your desk, fingers inches away from touching yours.
‘What happened 14 years ago was perhaps the moment I’ve regretted most in my life. I let what we had go because I couldn’t see past my own mind at the possibilities. You have no idea how many times I’ve written letters to you and summoned an owl, only to throw it away; especially when I heard you had started teaching at the school.’ He recoiled his hand, putting both into his pockets as he spoke, doing that thing he’s always done when he’s nervous.
You watched him for a few seconds, biting the skin on your bottom lip, unsure of what to say. In that moment, it all became so clear. You’d lost 14 years with the man you’d loved most because you’d both been so stubborn minded and stupid.
‘I’m sorry I left, Remus. I’m sorry I never wrote to you, or came to find you. I’m sorry I left.’ You blurted, your tongue seemingly taking over for you. Your cheeks went red, and you sat up a bit straighter in anticipation of his reaction. However, he remained still and silent. You carefully studied his face, looking for a hint of how he was feeling. He lifted his eyes and a warm smile spread across his worn face. You moved forward and put your arms around his shoulders and hands behind his head, fingers weaving into the greying hair at his neck. His arms encircled your waist and you felt him inhale deeply. You shut eyes momentarily, taking in a feeling you hadn’t felt for a long time - love. True, innocent, desperate love.
You pulled away first, looking at his face and tracing your finger gently across the new scars you’d never seen before. He stopped your hand, taking it in his and pressing a small kiss to your palm. You made eye contact and in that moment, you knew you had him back - and this time, you weren’t letting him go.