Friends Don’t Look at Friends That Way Pt 3 (jj x reader)
(Final chapter)
Word Count: 2k
Warnings: Alcohol mentions, light mention of abuse, angst
Music Rec: Mean It - Gracie Abrams (OOF not a perfect fit but damn)
Part One Part Two
Recap: “She reached into the backseat and handed you the bottle you had snagged earlier and after spinning the top off you took your first of many shots that night. “You deserve to have a good night. Without JJ. Let’s fucking do this.”
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After a week of feeling nothing but stress and hurt, you were more than happy to take a break from feeling anything at all, including all of your limbs. You had never been as drunk as you were tonight, but you wouldn’t consider yourself trashed yet. You and Kie had only been at the beach for about a half hour, staying regulated to the mob of dancing people, yet you still hadn’t run into any of the guys. Although you missed John B and Pope you were in no rush to see JJ tonight. That being said, you couldn’t wait for him to see you. At this point most of the anger you had felt had dissipated and you were focused solely on having a good time no longer needing the help of the boy you thought was your best friend.
Another song had started and it was one of your favorites. The lights hung up around the beach were blurred as you spun, hands in the air and hips moving. You had ditched your shoes a while back and you sunk your toes into the still warm sand smiling because you felt great. The thoughts that had been plaguing you were replaced with nothing but the lyrics of the song booming from the speakers and the hope of food soon. Vodka and beer had done their job tonight. You were brought back to reality seconds later when a tall body pushed against your back and an arm was secured around your shoulders. You tensed up, but kept dancing. Hell, you were drunk and maybe the guy was cute.
“Hey (y/n)! Where’ve you been? We missed you!”
The drunken words of John B. floating into your ear made you soften into his embrace gently hitting his chest for getting your hopes up. You both remained arms around each other as you made your way to get another drink. Leaning on each other for balance, the only way you could describe it was blind leading the blind, but it felt nice to stumble around with your friend clinging to you.
“Livin’ and breathing babe, just livin’ and breathing.”
“And drinking apparently.” John B. chuckled at his own joke stopping only to continue his questioning. “What’s really going on? I mean you went AWOL, JJ’s been tripping shit, and even Pope is weirder than usual. Is it something I did?” John B. knew what it was about, but even with a mind clouded with cheap beer, he knew that you would confess to him before you ever let him blame himself.
“No, no! B. it has nothing to do with you, I’ve missed you soooo much.” You cringed at the prominent slurring of the words. “I love you John B. you are the greatest…I just...JJ has an issue with me and I don’t know what to do. I mean he won’t talk to me and I… I wish I was mad, but honestly I just miss him.”
“JJ is a dumbass, (y/n), you know sometimes he just gets like that.”
“Yeah, I know. It’s just never with me.”
John B. started to get frustrated. He loved you because you were a part of his found family. It was complete bullshit that JJ’s stubborn ass had not only separated you from the group, but also had deeply hurt your feelings and John wouldn’t stand for that.
“C’mon let’s go dance. We can have fun.” he said as he pushed your hair back smiling. You both downed your freshly filled drinks and made your way back to your previous spot.
JJ was the polar opposite of you, his mood worsening by the minute but he wouldn’t let that stop him. He decided to stay towards the edges of the crowd, finding a girl every so often that he would begin to flirt with. He had already talked to about four girls, but each time proved less fruitful than the last. The latest tourist he had sat down with was talking to him about something, but JJ could not be less bothered with it. It wasn’t that he was trying to ignore her, but when he saw you and John B. dancing in the crowd all he could hear was a ringing in his ears. After a week of doing everything in his power to compartmentalize his emotions for you, pandora’s or in this case JJ’s box went flying open and all of the feelings and memories came back. The tourist noticed he wasn’t listening and huffed carrying herself over to another attractive boy and JJ didn’t even flinch.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He wanted nothing more to replace John B. and dance with you. Shit he’d even settle for just sitting on the beach, no words, just enjoying each other’s presence. He couldn’t deny it, you looked great. Oh god, his eyes made their way to your almost bare back, only a small string tied holding the top around you. Continuing his gaze downward, he focused on your ankle to find that you were still wearing the anklet that he stole for you about two years back. His eyes flitted back up when you flipped your hair, the loose beachy waves bouncing back into place below your shoulders and his fingers itched to go over and push the one stray behind your ear so he could see your smile better. Braces had corrected your horrendously crooked teeth when you were younger, but one tooth on the bottom shifted ever so slightly. No one could see it unless you were truly smiling, not just faking it. JJ was the first to notice the tooth and quickly figured out this secret. He decided to keep his little discovery to himself. Next he admired your subtle freckles that dusted your cheeks and nose. You were practically glowing. And that hurt like a bitch. It just proved his point that you were better off without him. Yet, before he knew it his feet were carrying his alcohol riddled body towards your dancing figure unsure of what he was planning on doing once he reached you.
Out of nowhere you feel someone’s eyes on you and you quickly glance to see JJ is staring at you from where he is seated and you knew that your plan was working. His face was soft, jaw slack and he had a hand tugging at his hair. You quickly put your focus back on Kie and John B., but not even a minute had passed before JJ was in front of you an unreadable expression on his face. You felt like you were going to shit yourself(not really but frankly you were looking for any way out of this situation.)
“hey”
Your brain was going a hundred miles a minute but you wouldn’t let him see that.
“hey”
JJ couldn’t will his voice to be steady so he settled for a head gesture to a quieter place outside the crowd and put out his hand for you to take. You glanced at his hand dumbfounded, but your composure remained steady as you pushed past his hand to head outside the dancing mob. He hurt your feelings. You’re talking to get closure. Answers. Nothing else. You sat down on a log and JJ carefully sat down next to you, neither of you looking at the other, instead focusing intently on the waves in front of you. Gave you a feeling of dejavu, but the pit in your stomach reminded you it wasn’t.
“How are you?” JJ said, taking the lead in the conversation.
“What do you think?”
“I...I’m sorry (y/n)--”
“--Don’t be sorry, I’m fucking fantastic actually. Life gets a lot better when people stop pretending to give a shit.”
“(y/n), come on that’s not fair. You know I care.”
A memory of JJ consoling you in the middle of the night hit you like a ton of bricks. You had gotten into a fight with your parents over the immense pressure they put on you to perform. They were so intent on you being successful, the need to be perfect was always present in your mind and JJ was very understanding. He was one of the few to check up on you, the girl who was always there for everyone else. That night he held you while you were sobbing and crumpled on the floor. He never told you but that night his dad had hit him a few times, yet he still took care of you physically and mentally. Despite the aching in the bruised shoulder you were leaning against, he stayed still only moving to slightly rock you and kiss your head. After you had calmed down and helped onto the bed, he grabbed your pj’s for you to change into while he snuck downstairs to get you a glass of water, an Advil, and ice cream. When he came back up, your head was propped up on his shoulder while you ate and watched Netflix.
Ouch... how could two people go from that to this? No! No. Don’t let him do this. Care?! No he cared! Cause if he still did he would at least talk to you!
“How would I know? You haven’t talked to me.”
JJ didn’t know how to respond. You were right. No questions asked. God he loves you so much but he can’t risk hurting you anymore than he already has.
With no pause, his response came out in a whisper, “I’ll always care about you (y/n). No matter what.”
“So then what happened? Why…I just don’t know... Did I do something?” you said, the alcohol pushing you to form incoherent but honest sentences. At this point you had shifted your body to face him and all bets were off. Tears had filled your eyes as you prepared for the worst.
JJ mimicked your body language and grabbed your hand as if to make sure he got his point across while saying “no” forcefully. He wasn’t aggressive, rather he was just intense and his eyes bore into your own matching that energy. At this point you were frozen. It just doesn’t make sense. How could he ignore you for a week with no reason, but look at you like that.
“JJ. Just tell me. Whatever it is, I’m here and you know that.”
He wouldn’t. He couldn’t. It would mess up everythi-- “I love you.”
Your lips parted and your eyes grew wide. You and JJ were always close, but even as friends you guys had found your way to maneuver your way around those words, so you knew what he meant. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him, but his eyes were darting around focusing on anything other than your own.
“Fucking hell JJ…Wait is this why...You ignored me because of this?” you chuckled. Before he had time to misinterpret it you continued, “JJ I love you too. I was going crazy without you. I was so scared you had found out and were never gonna talk to me again.”
“God (y/n) you just.. I mean I just didn’t--don’t want to hurt you.”
“And you thought this was a good idea?” At this point you were both laughing and leaning against each other.
JJ sat back up facing you and then glanced down at your lips and then back up at your eyes. For once he was afraid of making the first move. He would only do this if you wanted to. You wouldn’t wait a second more slowly bringing your lips to meet his own and dove your fingers into his hair as he held your hip under your shirt gently squeezing. As you pulled away all you could do was smile and JJ was the same.
“Can’t tell you how long I’ve waited to do that. I mean tonight you looked so good I couldn’t---” JJ was interrupted by John B. as your three friends approached.
“---Can’t be much longer than we waited. Shit, you finally made a good choice.”
JJ tossed an arm around you pulling you to his chest as you all laughed.Your friends joined you on and around the log passing a cup around laughing and singing happy to finally be together again. JJ leaned closer and put his lips right next to your ear and whispered.
“Yeah, I think I did.”
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And that’s a wrap!! Thank you so much everyone who left notes and comments it really inspired me to write more so I really do appreciate it. The quarantine has been difficult, but getting kind messages from you all has been so helpful. Hope you are all doing well. Let me know if you have any requests. Thank you guys!!!
@ ashhh27, @sarahsmaybank, @tempestades-de-verao
