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@writingtransmen
writing advice blog !!
hey friends, this is going to be a writing advice blog ran by trans and nonbinary men for writing advice to help cis people with writing trans masc characters !!
feel free to submit any of your own writing advice or ask any questions or even feel free to dm us !! we’re super friendly as long as you’re not a transphobe/terf/radfem.
please be kind and respectful !! posts coming shortly !! :)
-rudie
What are some dangerous stereotypes trans men face? Incase I end up writing them unintentionally.
I have several points that personally bother me and that have been overly used/ not done correctly.
Femininity
Firstly I want to start by saying that of course trans men are allowed to be as feminine as they desire. There is nothing wronf with that! Secondly, in the media trans men have been shown to be overly feminine and that they cannot do anything for themselves.
This has been used frequently to the point where this is the most common thing that comes to thought when showing trans men. Not all of us like to where make up, wear dresses or skirts and other things like that. There's nothing wrong with those who do enjoy that.
Typically trans men who enjoy being feminine, wnat to be feminine in they way men are feminine.
Speed of Transition
Transition does not happen overnight. This is usually a lengthy process and everyones transition road is different. Some trans men may not even go on hormones or get top surgery.
The rate of transtion also depends on the environment your character is in. Are they in a safe spot to tell other they are trans/ progress further with their transition? Is my character at the age where they have total control over their medical choices? Has my character been approved for hormones and/or surgeries? Is my character emotionally/ physically ready to progress their transition?
Those are just a couple of questions that can help you get the feel of the speed of transition.
**this was sitting as a draft by some other mod for ages but I feel its a waste not to post it
-el
Sorry to bother you, but I need some help writing my character Sachio. He’s poor, and can’t afford a binder or hrt. Do you know how to write a poor trans character without making it offensive?
Hello friend,
It sure sounds like a familiar experience for many trans men worldwide.
You see body dysphoria hits very differently to various trans people. There are plenty who can't do any changes to the body due to medical reasons as well, not only finance.
If a trans man despises himself for not being able to achieve physical changes its not a healthy way of living. But if he accepts who he is despite it and if his gender is respected by his social circle I'd call its healthy.
But I agree he might face difficulties in this society if he doesn't fit the description but that's on this bigoted society not him.
Gender is a social construct after all and physical transition isn't a mandatory part of it. There are a lot of trans people who don't go there but it doesn't make them any less valid.
So if you didn't make his whole life miserable and just because he doesn't make some physical changes and show him living his life I guess you'll be alright.
-el
Hi!
I'm writing something based in the Victorian era, and one of my characters is a trans man. Because of the times, he can't really transition medically --and his family is conservative even for the standards of that time-- and I was wondering how to best approach his trans-ness.
He has a best friend (a cis man) who proposed they got married and then moved to an estate in the countryside where he could live true to himself, because being the times what they were, there was no other option, really. I don't know if I'm playing into some kind of stereotype or something bad in general by making the cis guy kind of a saviour? The two have a pretty dependant friendship, and my trans character is as much a support to his best friend (with his own issues) as his best friend is to him --but I do wonder.
To summarise: to what extent should a cis character be seen as the bigger support for a trans man (who will also voice that he knows he is a man irrespective of what society tells him)? If at all, and considering their whole relationship won't revolve around his trans-ness?
Hi there,
It's such a creative concept you have. Having a friend who accepts who you are despite the circumstances is one of the best things a trans guy can have. At least it was my experience.
Well I can see your concern. A cis man who is in a powerful position to be heard in that time and era being the saviour. (I'm guessing you worry that it'll look like portraying a trans man as a damsel in distress stereotyping them) If you write the trans guy as someone who is totally hopeless without that person to hold his hand it might look off.
But you are talking about a good friend who does what they can for their friend to be happy right? . That person just happens to be a cis guy.
I'm pretty sure you will be very well capable write those pair of friends without letting their gender coming in between.
Best wishes
-el
This is for my trans pansexual spammer again (xd). is there any relationship between being a tech bro and trans masculinity? My character is a bit tech-bro-ish, but I don't want to do the annoying stereotype thing
Hi I personally think a trans man happening to be a tech bro isn't really an stereotype.
(sorry for the late reply)
-el
hello! i'd like to write a trans man right before he realizes he's a guy. i don't want it to come off like i'm misgendering him, because him being a guy is already solidified before the story begins. would i avoid using pronouns altogether? would i use he/him? what would be the appropriate way to go about this?
Hello anon!
I don't think you would be misgendering them, as this would be set up in a past tense. If you want to aviod any possible conflict you can use They/Them prnouns because those are pretty neutral. You can simply write a piece of monolouge before the story begins as well, explaining that this is past tense or something saying that this was before they figured out their gender.
Personally i would use they/them. I hope this helped!
-Roger
This isn’t much about a trans character, but about transness. The character himself is cis, but he changes his name anyway to distance himself from his toxic family. Could this behaviour be read as an appropriation of transness or make any trans reader feel alienated?
This is set in a retrofuturistic world where trans and nb people are accepted and present in the main cast, so it’s not presented as a metaphor for transness itself.
I don't think it would be preceived as your character being transgender. Changing your name isn't a trans exclusive thing, although it almost always comes along with a transtion. If you make your reasons for the name change clear It wouldn't get read as the character being trans.
Another thing on it's own that helps with that is because your character isn't trans, they will be using the same pronouns/ nothing in your writing would be hinting at transgenderism. And you wouldn't even have to change up your wrting to do this! It's safe to say you've avioded confusing anyone.
-Roger
How old do you have to be to get top surgery and how much do they usually cost? Thanks for answering btw! Your blog really helps me out.
-yours truly, a cisgender man with no trans friends trying to write a graphic novel with a trans character.
Hello there!!
You have to be 18 or older to have top surgery, most of the time it cost about 5,000 to 10,000 USD. To get top surgery though it takes a year of consuling minimum, to get approved for the surgery, which the consuling can take place before you’re eighteen. But that’s just the basics, for that.
It takes approval from a therapist to start hormone treatment and for the bare minimum, that takes a year, and you usually want to be on hormones for a while before having the surgery.
If you have anymore questions, just ask!!
-Roger
Hello, it's me again. I thought of a way to show that Ethelin is trans and I wanna hear your opinion! Margo (the main character) is talking about how cool scars are and asks Ethelin if he has any. He says he only has two and Margo is like 'Wow! Whatever caused that must've been super painful to be able to give someone as strong as you a scar!' and Ethelind is like 'Haha no, I chose to have these scars and they made me feel better about myself'
Margo is like 'Huh?' so Ethelin explains that he's trans and what trans is.
Hello again!
I’d say this is a good way to bring it and I’m happy you found something that works well in your story and I wish you luck!
- Roger
What stereotype of trans men in media that are innacurate or heavily disliked by real trans men?
I can’t speak for all trans men, but for many who I know (including myself) the biggest stereotype that we hate is this ‘delicate, fragile little soft boi’ thing. We’re real men, treat us like it. It’s infantilising and degrading, and people use this idea that we’re somehow childlike to talk over us in discussions about the issues that we face.
- Teddy
Hey there! I want to start off by saying that this is a great thing you guys are doing and I love your work! I'm currently planning a fantasy series and my main characters are a trans king and his children, them getting into adventures and stuff...he's got seven bcuz he's always wanted a "gaggle of kids" in his words. In the original draft they were his bio-kids, but I'm wondering if that would be offensive or dysphoric and just have them adopted instead.
Thank you
TW : mention of pregnancy
Dysphoria in trans men is very diverse. Some are extremely dysphoric about reproductive organs and some have no problem with having biological children.
I don't think your character doing that would be an offensive thing by itself.
It would be good to have tags/warning to make sure whoever that gets triggerd with that type of content stays safe.
Also may I suggest to look up the trans inclusive terms that are used in relation to the anatomy and whole process. I personally don't think its mandatory but I think it would be nice to do so.
-El
hey everyone this is just a reminder that not only one kind of trans man exists. gay trans men exist, ace/aro trans men exist. bipoc trans men exist. disabled trans men exist. nonbinary trans men exist. neurodivergent trans men exist. gnc trans men exist , etc. there’s not only one kind of trans man and please make sure you take this into account when writing your characters !!
- rudie
Would be alright if my trans man character didn't cut his hair? He has medium-length hair that he wears in a bun. Would that be offensive and make it seem like I'm writing him too feminine?
That’s percetly okay!! Lots of men, even cisgender men, have long hair. It’s not really a feminine trait, though women are more likely to have longer hair than men. This isn’t offensive, so dont worry about that!
- Roger
I agree with Rogers answer and adding a bit.
Masculine or feminine features are all concepts made by society. One can be anywhere in the spectrum of feminine to masculine as they please and still be valid in their desired gender.
See the key word is gender.
If a man chose to be feminine he will express it in a ways that he finds fitting and he still remains a man.
When someone reads /sees the feminine man you create he sounds as a feminine man and not somone that belong to another gender.
If you want to write a trans person who is gender fluid or non binary it's also valid so make sure you have a clear idea of what gender you are going to put them in.
If you wrote girl /nb/genderfluid or other person in mind and said that is a man, the reader won't see consistency in the gender expression.
Also my friend, the concept 'men doing feminine things is offensive' is just the societies stereotypes against queer men.
Being feminine isn't offensive but not respecting somones gender based on their feminity/masculinity sure is.
- El
Hello there! I have another question, it's for Ethelin again haha. Is it alright for him to like and perform traditionally feminine hobbies and interests? For example, he likes taking care of children (which is why he even became a mentor to the main character in the first place) singing, sewing, colorful outfits and knitting? These aren't the only skills and talent he has but I wonder if having these traits, make him offensive or not masculine enough?
Hello again!
This is perfectly okay! Men never ever have to be masculine. These things dont make his character offensive, Trans men can do these things and it doesnt change the fact that they are man. Gender non comfirming exist, and it is encourged that they be represent.
If you have any more questions, just ask away!!
- Roger
I have a trans character named Ethelin in a fantasy world. He's the mentor/father figure type of my main characters and him being trans isn't really a focus of the story. He has gone through surgery (yeah magical surgery exists) and has scars but he isn't the type to show off his body. So how could I hint to the audience he's trans in the most natural, not offensive and not dramatic way possible?
Hello there!! This sounds like a really cool character, and I’m happy to give my opinion.
You did mention it’s not a focus, and you’re looking for subtle ways to mention it, but I have a few ideas that could possibly help you out. I’m not too familiar with the character but again these are just suggestions.
If you’re describing this trans character, you could mention it when the character has no shirt on or something where you can see there chest and briefly talk about the scaring there. (I don’t know if that’s a thing with magical surgery.)
Going off the scar idea, another character could point them out or ask about them at some point, and he could explain that he is transgender and you can continue from there.
You said this character is a fatherly figure, and I’m not sure what age group he’s associated with to being a mentor but I’m assuming it’s on the younger side. Speaking from experience, gender is difficult to figure out when you’re younger, when you’re in your teens and early adulthood and it can extend further into your life. I don’t know the plot, but if one of your mentee characters is having struggles with gender, Ethelin could consult them and tell them that he understands, because he’s a trans man and has/still experiences gender dysphoria.
These are just a few ways, but I hope they help you. Good luck with your story!! If you have any more questions, ask away!
- Roger
update about posting
hello!! we are going to begin a more regular posting schedule at the turn of the next year!! happy holidays!! se you all you next year :)
hello! my protagonist is a transman, and I'm wondering: if his original name is unisex, would he likely keep it after transitioning, or is it in poor taste to have a trans character keep their name at all? (this isn't even necessarily relevant to the story because he mostly goes by a political alias anyway so I guess I can avoid the issue entirely if I should.)
Personally, I’d say it’s up to you! Some trans people would want to change their name, others may want to keep it. I think a large factor that could play into the decision would be how many people know him. If your character isn’t supported by his family, he might want to change it out of spite, or to leave that part of him behind. Or even out of fear of being found again, if he ran away. Honestly, as in real life, I’d say it’s all a matter of personal choice :). I don’t think anyone would be offended by it if you kept his name, but then again I can’t speak for everyone. Sorry if I want much help! - Teddy