* 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝑒𝓈𝒸𝑒𝓃𝓉 ﹗ @writtendwn - Tumblr Blog

FROM HERE. / @florxdexcerezos !

“ how long... ” she says, but before ending her sentence the part of her brain that is trying to turn ideas inside her head into words interrupts her, making her cross out a string of words and write a new sentence above the scratched out bits. “ how long do you think it’ll take for the storm to calm down? ” blue eyes are lifted from her notebook to alex when he comes closer to her. after she finds him sitting next to herself, it’s a sensation of warmth and all types of feelings that remind her warmth, she feels. seconds later, she removes one of the words with warmth. the things he makes her feel have always been her inspiration, and it is one of those moments. one hand still has her pen grasped and her other hand is in search of him. as soon as her fingers touch his hair, it puts a smile on her face even though she is still looking at the notebook while lightly combing through his golden strands of hair. “ you are my inspiration. ” words are said with her tone so soft. then the smile on her face grows bigger, she looks at him. “ and my distraction at the same time. ” a kiss on the top of his head is what follows her last sentence before she falls silent.

#TH: 02 .

florxdexcerezos‌:

“yeah, never took it off.” he pulled back from her reluctantly so she could see the gold locket around his neck. he didn’t look at her when she had put it on him. hell, he didn’t even think about that time in the court room. he had tried so hard to repress those memories. they still haunted him, stopped him from sleeping. “c’mon, we need to get you warmed up.”

he didn’t want to relive those memories. please don’t make him.

she always felt small in his arms, and yet so safe. it only took a moment of her feeling his grasp, the way he held her. and then it was back, a warmth to her soul. the coldness left from the past slowly melting to his touch. one more tear rolled down her cheek, this time she tried her best to look away like that could prevent alex from seeing it. “ you can find the blankets in where we left them. -- i guess i tried to change things in this house, relocating objects. but in the end i found myself pedaling backwards, even the objects inside this house found a way to put themselves back to where we left them together. ”

#sADNESS IS BACK #TH: 01.

florxdexcerezos‌:

he looked down at her and used his thumb to wipe away some of her tears. “hey, hey, that’s enough of that.” he said softly as if they weren’t the reason they were both crying. “don’t cry.” he hated seeing her upset. he always had done.

“you are kinda cold.” he mused softly, pulling her into his strong arms and kissing the top of her head before burying his nose in her hair. she smelled like home. she smelled so good. he missed it. “maybe we could get a blanket or something. we need to warm you up a bit.” it was always about her.

she replied with just a simple nod. she was feeling weak, life has been unkind to her soul. it felt so surreal and intense at the same time as he towered over her, and she felt the comfort of his arms while he was holding her. it was like her heart and senses slowly started to melt. she had been so cold without him.

burying her head to his chest, she let both her hands fall on him too. clinging on to him with the little power she had. it was so relieving to see his heart didn’t change a bit. he was still her alex who made her feel like she deserved to be loved and cherished. she had one question in her mind, she couldn’t stop herself from asking. “ do you remember the locket i gave you ? did you keep it ? ” while they were away from each other, that was the thing she liked to remind to herself. that she left at least a small part of her to him. she just wanted to learn if he kept that part.

#TH: 01.#[ WELL WELL I'D DIE WITHOUT MENTIONING THAT LOCKET ]

florxdexcerezos‌:

he wanted to kiss her. he wanted to press her firmly against the wall and kiss her hard. but he couldn’t. not yet. not until she agreed to try this again. and even then he would still have to hold back until she was ready to allow him back into her life fully. his soul needed her. his other and better half. “I miss you too. more than i have the words to say.”

“i won’t.” he promised. and he meant it. he meant it with everything he had. “thank you. thank you so much.” he fucking loved her so much. he slowly pulled himself up, still holding onto her hand. “it’s so warm here.” he said softly, rubbing his arms with his free hand.

when she was tugging at the sleeve of her cardigan with her empty hand, and even after closing the door as both of them were surrounded by the walls of her apartment, her cheeks were still wet of the tears she cried. trying to hold on to the moment, hold on to the fact he was right there in front of her, the poet was trying to prevent her tears from trailing down her face.

sadness clouding her eyes, she replied to his comment on the place’s warmth. " it doesn't feel warm without you. " still her hand in his, the only thing felt warm was his touch. " i can only feel your warmth. " she didn't know where to stand or what to do other than holding his hand at that moment. they were just standing, her eyes were locked on his entire time. she couldn't do more than looking at him and feeling his hand on hers.

#TH: 01.

florxdexcerezos‌:

he pulled back slightly, if only to try and use her presence to soothe his tears and his heartache. god, he had cried so much, longed to have her back in his arms. he didn’t care if he was being pathetic, or embarrassing himself. he had long since given up caring. he tried to bring his full voice back, but had to instead deal with the hoarse crackle it had since become.

“we can’t erase that it happened. but i don’t have the office job anymore.” he didn’t say why though. “no more long hours and tedious paperwork.” he hiccuped, trying to smile up at her. he looked so broken; pale thin skin, sunken eyes with bags underneath them. he even had the beginnings of a beard because he couldn’t be bothered to shave. this broke him, he shouldn’t have let it happen in the first place.

he was a fool.

seeing his broken smile with her own eyes after the time she spent without him naturally curled the corners of her lips up, a ghost of a smile appeared on her own features, and suddenly her thoughts slipped out of her mouth. " i miss you so much. " he was the one who tried to cheer her up even after life tore them apart. closing her eyes for more than a few seconds, she let the heaviness of the moment sink in. she didn't want to see him like this, she never wanted any of this.

" i don't want it to haunt us. " the poet peered up at him with worrisome blue hues. still, her heart skipped a beat before saying those words. but she did it, she let him hear it somehow. " don't let the past haunt us. " it sounded like an instruction, but it was more of a wish. her wish was him to protect their love from their past. one hand reached to find his and hold it firmly. she wanted him to get up and step inside, knowing he wouldn't do that without her permission, she enabled him with her next words. " you should come in. "

#TH: 01.#[ HOLD ON YOU GUYS WE'LL MAKE Y'ALL HAPPY SOON BUT FIRST SUFFER A LITTLE ]

florxdexcerezos‌:

her fingers in his hair made him think he was safe again, they made his breath hitch and his body shiver. he was quiet, listening to her. “i don’t want to be alone anymore.” he said softly, swallowing back his sobs so that she could hear him. he had no intention of moving now, she was his world and he was a fool to let her walk out of his life.

“please let me come back. i promise i’ll be good, no more yelling or not hugging you. i need you. i was stupid to let you go. please, merry.” he was begging for her to let him in. he was so scared. he had nothing. he had fallen so far in love that he didn’t know the way out of it. “

i’ll do whatever it takes.”

i don't want to be alone anymore. -- those were alex's words, and that one sentence was what she was dying to say out loud in the moment of their reunion. she learned the truth about feeling alone surrounded by people. it didn't matter how many people she had around her, she was doomed with loneliness without that one right person's presence. and her one right person was alex, it has always been alex.

she felt a spike of heat shoot through her. even the uncertain promise of being embraced by his love was powerful enough to change her view on life. before him, all she saw of the world was its injustice and heartache. after his love put a spell on her, she saw mercy and love for the first time. after the split, all that left to her was heartache once again, unfairly. touch of her fingers was gently brushing her lover's skin as his hold was curled at her frame. her voice was laced with delicacy. " do you think it is possible ? to start again and undo what has been done ? "

#BACK TO THE SAD HOURS MY FREN #TH: 01.

aperfectxglitch·:

he couldn’t take it anymore. his heart felt so fucking empty. in constant pain from the panic attacks and the crying, he couldn’t even manage to turn up to his shit job, so he lost that too. he just kept losing. his daughter, his wife, the love he had for the world.

so he sat mostly in the dark, his phone was his only connection to the world but he couldn’t keep up on the payments so he had to sell it so he could eat but even when he had the money he didn’t want to eat, he just wanted Merry.

in a very small attempt to try and pull himself together, he crawled off the mattress he lived on and peered into the boxes he had brought with him to this new apartment. if he could call it that. he managed to open one box, and pull out a book. it was beautiful, leather bound, and filled with overflowing papers. it must have been merryn’s. it had to have been, he wasn’t the creative type. he pried the book open with a care he had not used in months, scared that he would break and cursed everything he touched. some kind of funky midas shit.

the poems spoke to him - or spoke about him. they only strengthened his feelings to return home. he still had on his wedding ring, he couldn’t bear to take it off, or touch anything she touched. he just about managed to shower and that was a task in itself. before he could stop himself, he found himself clutching the book and full on sprinting to the place where merry lived; their home.

she opened the door after he pressed the doorbell - just once. and he crumbled. his knees gave way. she was so beautiful, still. so perfect. he wrapped his arms around her hips and rested his head against her stomach, full on sobbing against her. “please let me come back. please, i can’t take this. i can’t do this without you merry, please.” he said in between his hard sobs, he couldn’t do it. he was sick of not touching her, not being able to hold her. maybe he also wanted someone to hold him and tell him he’d be okay for a change. he’d already been hospitalised once. he needed her.

alex levesque had finally come home.

is it the way he touches her what makes him so different? or the loving look in his eyes, she can dive deep into his blue hues and lose herself in them. is it his gentleness what makes merryn cling onto him? maybe it's because the way he calls her merry, she hasn't heard that name in a while because without him, she is not who she is meant to be. he showed her the colors in life she was blind to see before. when they parted their ways, it left her in utter darkness.

before she speaks, pearl-shaped tears start rolling down her burning cheeks. all the feelings start to conquer her body slowly, she feels how raw and real those feelings are. her love for him, her desire for him, her passion for him. after all the suffering, their love is still the only thing that matters. her hands float over the air for a moment, questions inside her head make it louder and harder for her, but her instincts are clear so they lead her hands. slowly her fingers run through his hair and with a simple touch, memories of their joyful days awaken.

bitterness drips from her words, their sadness is almost solid, it can be felt up in the air. " i don't know what to do alex. i don't know what to do with you. i don't know what to do with myself. " after she iterates her words, a sob follows. it is a contradiction, battle of an undying love and a bitter end. which one wins this battle? with every word, she comes closer to a state of realization. she is no good without him. " i don't know how to live without you. " suffocating by her sentiment, her hands stay around back of his neck, holding his head carefully.

#TH: 01.

one more time, the ink spreads from her pen and leaves her blank white paper stained. it's her third attempt to write today, third time of her ruining her paper just like this. she feels faulty, incomplete, words are all she has but they don't matter. they don't matter when the hole in her soul grows bigger without him. it's been months since they lost each other, she remembers how devastated he looked as she gave her locket to him. merryn left a part of hers with him and without him, she is torn apart.

she drops her pen down, and that's when she hears her doorbell ringing. avoiding from any kind of human interaction, initially she doesn't attempt to open it. then it rings, it rings one more time. but who needs her like this? don't they know she is just useless after what happened? with a heavy heart, she carries herself closer to the door and when she opens it, that's when her already crumbled world turns upside down. " alex. " his name falls from her lips as soon as their eyes meet. weakness of her knees throws her balance off, her body leans on to the door, trying to stand still. in her head, she contemplated this moment maybe for millions of times, tried to imagine how it would feel. now there he is and she feels only one thing: a longing, so deep, it bleeds out of her and shows how desperate she is to have him in her life.

@aperfectxglitch

#iT'S SAD HOURS FOR US BINCHES #TH: 01.