thanks covid-19

stuff i've started writing in lieu of social distancing and self isolation // follow my main @heavenlydrarry

[writtenisolation]

A Series of Firsts - Part 3

Read Part 2 here

First Phone Call

Carson wasn’t the kind of person who was attached to his phone. But after getting Melissa’s number and starting a conversation with her, he could not bare to be apart from his phone. They texted practically all the time. Since he was in radiology, he didn’t really have very many procedures to attend and so he literally had all the time in the world to text her. Unfortunately for him, she could only text when she wasn’t putting someone to sleep for a surgery or waking them up after the surgery.

He hadn’t really seen her since the run-in at the grocery store. Yes, they worked at the same place, but she almost always took her lunch break way after him and it hadn’t really occurred to him to just go later as well so that they could have lunch together. He wasn’t really a breakfast guy and so lunch always had to be at its earliest possible.

He didn’t know why, but for some reason, the thought of seeing her outside of his phone, in real life, made him nervous. He could have great conversation with her over text and he was quite sure that his boldness at that party only shone through because of those 3 beers he had had before bumping into her. The confidence at the grocery store also happened to be just a ruse, he was so nervous inside he literally had to stop and take deep breaths to calm himself down after she had left.

He was worried that conversation in real life wasn’t going to be as good as it was on text. And although he really did want to see her at work or even outside of work (at a date he still had to ask her to), he didn’t want to compromise on what they had over text.

It was Wednesday already, two days since he had gotten her number and they had literally not stopped talking. He was scrolling through his chat with her while waiting for his pizza to get done in the oven. They were talking about music and the concerts and festivals they’ve been to, when she mentioned that her profile picture was from one of those festivals. But instead of clicking on her profile picture, curse his fat fingers, he ended up clicking on the call button. Cursing loudly, he cut the call almost immediately and hoped it hadn’t gone through. Forgetting about his pizza, he walked into Dylan’s room and flopped on the bed letting out a huge sigh. Dylan, his best friend and roommate, laughed at him before asking him what was wrong, which only made him sigh even louder.

A couple of seconds later, when his phone dinged from the kitchen, signalling a new text, he made his way back to his pizza and his phone.

Melissa: hey, sorry i missed your call, i’m making dinner! would it be okay if i call back in like half an hour?

Carson did not know how to react to that message. On one hand, he was annoyed that the call went through but on the other hand, he was also kind glad that it went through because now she was going to call him and he could have an actual, not over text, conversation with her.

Carson: Yeah, sure. I should be done with dinner by then as well :)

He didn’t want to tell her that he called by mistake and so he just pretended like it was actually what he had meant to do.

After finishing his pizza (yes he ate the entire thing), he still had around 10 minutes before his call with the one person who was always on his mind. He knew he wasn’t seeing her, it wasn’t a video call (at least he hoped not) but he still spent time brushing his teeth and hair and making himself look presentable. In his head, it was like he was going on a date without really going anywhere.

His phone started ringing and he panicked, she was a whole minute early and was not ready for that. Taking a deep breath, he answered the phone with a soft greeting.

“Hi,” came her sweet, soft reply. His grinned to himself, already liking the way her voice sounded on the phone. “You called me earlier?”

“I wish I could say it was intentional,” he muttered, embarrassed but then she giggled, almost making him forget his embarrassment.

“I did think it was a mistake too,” she replied, making him groan loudly, which in turn made her giggle again. Carson already loved the sound of it and he was quite sure that he would keep embarrassing himself if it meant that he could hear it more often. “But then Baz said that I could take it as a way to call you, so I did.”

“I don’t know who Baz is, but remind me to thank him when I meet him,” he said, grinning at himself.

“Baz is my best friend and flatmate,” she said. For some reason, knowing that another male had a close relationship with her made him jealous.

She went on to tell him more about Baz and her and how they met (orientation week of med school) and then ask him about his friends. He liked that she was interested in his life. He told her about Dylan and some of his other friends from radiology, some of whom she happened to know. The conversation was slowly dulling, he didn’t know what to ask her (he was always awkward on the phone) but he didn’t want to stop talking to her either.

He was looking around room for inspiration for a topic to talk about, when she suddenly yelled loudly right into the mouthpiece and into his ear.

“Is everything alright?” he asked her, concerned about her wellbeing.

“Yeah, no, everything’s fine,” came her reply, almost sounding as though she was brushing him off.

“Are you sure?”

“It’s kind of embarrassing, to be honest,” she told him, which only made his curiosity grow even more. After a couple of moments of him urging her to tell her what happened, she sighed and gave in. “Baz and I are watching Pokémon and Charmeleon just evolved into Charizard.” His eyes grew wide as soon as she said that.

“I love Pokémon!” He exclaimed, and grinned widely, even though she couldn’t see him.

This was exactly what he needed. This opened up a whole new conversation and he could go on and on when it came to this topic. And knowing that she liked Pokémon only made him fall more in love with her. He couldn’t help himself, this girl was literally perfect.

They went on talking, the conversation moving from Pokémon to other cartoon shows they liked (both big fans of Spongebob) and just everything in general. After speaking to her for only half an hour, it felt like he had known her all his life and he did not want to stop talking to her. Their conversation continued, neither of them wanting to hang up the phone.

It had been over two hours since their call started and he was lying in his bed, his phone on loudspeaker next to him as he played catch with himself. He was in the middle of telling her a story from his childhood (the one about the scar just above his eyebrow), when he realised that she hadn’t answered him in a while. He paused and called out her name a couple of time but there was still no response. It was only then that he heard the slightest of snores, making him laugh softly at the realisation that she had fallen asleep. He almost wanted to feel offended that his stories had put her to sleep but the fact that she snored made her so dang adorable that he couldn’t stay mad at her. Not wanting to cut the phone on her without saying goodbye, he left his phone on loud, plugged it into his charger and curled up with a pillow in his arms. She was the last thought he had as fell asleep, diving headfirst into a dreamworld filled with what he wanted his life to look like with her in the picture.

[writtenisolation]

A Series of Firsts - Part 2

Read Part 1 here

First Text

Melissa was feeling overwhelmed. She had never liked someone after just one meeting but she could already tell that Carson was someone she wanted in her life. They two of them spent the rest of the evening talking and getting to know each other. They spoke about their jobs, she told him that she had just started as an anaesthesiology resident and found out that he graduated school a year before she did and was a radiology resident.

She didn’t even realise how fast time flew by as they were talking, because all of a sudden, it was 2am and her best friend was there and telling her that he was leaving. Remembering that she had promised him to walk home together (since they also lived together), she hurriedly said goodbye to Carson and made her way over to the front door, where Sebastian (he really preferred Baz though) was waiting for her.

Melissa felt as though she was on cloud nine as she told Baz all about Carson on their walk home. Baz was a little sceptical, since she had only just met this boy but nothing could bring her down. The two of them had so much in common and she had finally found someone who liked talking to her and was interested in her (or so she hoped). Wanting to support her like the good best friend he was, Baz asked her if she had gotten his number before leaving the party. Only this didn’t seem to be the correct thing to say because she groaned and slapped her forehead. In her hurry to tell her best friend all about him, she had forgotten to ask him for his number. Or anything else that would allow her to contact him.

She spent the rest of the weekend wallowing in her stupidity. She only hoped that he was going through the same thing because, to be fair, he hadn’t asked for her number either. She tried to distract herself with studying up on a couple of procedures she was hoping to perform in the next week at work. But even her favourite subject on the planet could not take her mind off of him. Baz even had to hide her phone so that she did not end up going on facebook and looking for him.

When Monday finally arrived, she was bursting with anxiety. She was so nervous during her first procedure that even her attending noticed her jittery nature. When she finally got time to head upstairs for lunch, she was shaking with nervousness. It was way past regular lunchtime and she hoped that for some reason Carson had decided to have a late lunch as well and would be waiting for her in the cafeteria.

But since Lady Luck was CLEARLY on her side, she ended up disappointed. She knew that he wasn’t going to be there but that hadn’t stopped her from hoping. And that hoping had undoubtedly lead her to disappointment. The disappointment did end up making her think everything through though. She only knew him for a couple of days, actually only a couple of hours, and was already so invested in whatever it was that she had with him. Invested in that feeling of comfort she got from him as well as the butterflies that appeared whenever she thought of him.

Pushing him to the back of her mind, she got back to work with a renewed energy, paying more attention to her procedures and whatever her attending was teaching her. It was past 5pm by the time she was actually out of the hospital, even though her shift had officially ended at 4pm. Extremely tired from her day but not yet done with her chores, she got into her car and made her way to the closest grocery store. She and Baz had been too lazy on the weekend to go get groceries and since Baz had the graveyard shift that day, it had become her responsibility to make sure that the two of them had enough food to survive the week. She could have not gone, but the other option was then to starve for dinner and she loved her food a little too much to even think about that.

Walking mindlessly through the aisles, she went around putting things in her basket that she normally would not have been allowed to if Baz was there. Not really paying attention to rest of her surroundings and walking sideways to get a good look at all her bread options, she bumped into someone. Surprised by the sudden contact, she dropped her basket causing a couple of things to roll out onto the floor. Embarrassed by her own lack of sense of surroundings, she muttered a quick apology and dropped to her knees to gather up everything that had fallen out.

It was only when she heard the voice telling her not to worry about it did she look up at the person she had bumped into. There, in the middle of the bread aisle at her regular grocery store, stood Carson in all his glory (no, he was not naked, he just looked extremely fine). The wide grin on his face made her blush and get flustered, which only made him grin even wider.

“Fancy bumping into you here,” he said, holding out a hand to help her up. Grabbing his hand, she pulled herself up, before picking up her basket and turning to thank him. But before she could even get a word out, he continued to talk.

“If I am completely honest with you, I was hoping to see you at lunch today,” he continued, making her blush again.

All of a sudden, she got shy. So shy that she couldn’t even tell him that she had been hoping for the same thing and was very disappointed when it hadn’t happened. Overcome by her shyness and awkwardness (from bumping into him), she mumbled some lame excuse about having to get home as soon as possible before turning away to go to the pasta aisle.

“Wait,” he gently took hold of her wrist, not letting her walk away from him. “I felt like a total idiot this entire weekend because I forgot to ask you for your number. And if I let you go now without even trying, I don’t think I could forgive myself!”

“Aren’t you exaggerating a little too much?” She asked, giggling nervously. He only shook his head and held out his phone for her to take and enter her number into. When she didn’t make a move to take it, he took her hand and placed it there, showing her that he really wasn’t joking about wanting her number.

She punched her number into his phone before handing it to him, muttering a shaky and nervous goodbye before practically legging it out of that aisle. Fortunately for her and her nervous heart she didn’t run into him at the store again. She rushed out of the store, loaded her groceries into the backseat before getting into the car and taking deep breaths to calm her amazingly awkward and nervous self.

Halfway through mentally yelling at herself for behaving like such a ditz in front of him, her phone pinged loudly, making her literally jump in her seat. Fortunately for her she wasn’t tall enough to even come close to bumping her head on the roof of the car. After rummaging around in her bag for a whole minute, she finally found her phone. Unlocking it, she saw that she had a new text message from an unknown number. Knowing exactly who it was, her heart started racing, going back to the mess it was whenever she saw or thought of him.

Unknown: Hi :) just wanted to tell you that you’re cute when you’re nervous and awkward! - Carson

Grinning at herself, she quickly saved his number. After typing out a quick reply, she threw her phone onto the passenger seat and drove home, finally satisfied with how her day had ended.

Melissa: well then, you’re gonna find me cute a whole lot because i’m literally only awkward or nervous

[writtenisolation]

A Series of Firsts - Part 1

First Time Making Eye Contact

He was sitting in the cafeteria when she caught his eye. He hadn’t seen her before, which he found surprising, since he had been working at the hospital for almost a year now. He had just taken a seat at the table with the rest of the radiology residents when he saw a flick of long brown hair from the corner of his eye that immediately caught his attention. His eyes followed her as though they had a mind of their own. But he didn’t mind. She was beautiful.

It was like something had sparked inside of him. He had the sudden urge to know who she is. Not just her name, but what she does and just everything about her. It sounded creepy but he just needed to get to know her. At that moment, it did not matter to him if they ended up just being friends. All he knew was that he needed her in his life.

Turning to the other residents, he asked if they knew who she was but they all said no. Although one of the senior residents did mention that she was sitting with a group of surgeons and anaesthetists. It still didn’t help him further, in knowing who she was or how he should approach her. He just could not concentrate on anything else that day. All throughout lunch, his gaze kept drifting back to her and after lunch, he took over half an hour for every chest x-ray he evaluated because he was so distracted.

The next time he saw her was almost a whole week later. He had been bursting with anxiety for he thought something might have happened to her. He already cared so much about her without even knowing anything about her. Not even her name. As soon as she walked into the cafeteria with that group of surgeons and anaesthetists, he let out a huge sigh of relief, making his colleagues stare at him. Shrugging his shoulders, he sputtered out an explanation about being relieved that the food today wasn’t as bad as it had been the last couple of days. His best friend, also a resident in radiology, laughed at his lame excuse, knowing the exact reason for his heavy sigh.

Seeing her had relaxed him, but it still hadn’t given him the courage to go up to her and talk to her. Her long brown hair was tied up in a messy bun unlike last time. Her light blue scrubs separated her from him. It confirmed what his senior resident had told him, that she was part of the underworld. She wasn’t really part of the underworld, he was quite sure. The underworld was just a name the residents had for those working in the operation theatres because they were conveniently located in the basement of the hospital.

He didn’t get a chance to speak to her that lunch. She was already gone in what felt like minutes. The entire group she came with had disappeared almost as fast as they had appeared. Just like the week before, he was distracted and couldn’t concentrate on anything for the rest of day. He kept thinking about her long brown hair and wondering what colour her eyes were. His best friend tried to distract him but he was just upset. Upset that he couldn’t find it in himself to go up to her and talk her. Upset that just looking at her from afar made him speechless and tongue-tied. He wasn’t like that. Usually, he was confident when it came to women. But she made him feel like a wimp. And he just didn’t know what to about it.

A couple of weeks passed by and he hadn’t seen her since. He had tried not to think about her too much, immersing himself into his work and learning how to be a radiologist. But every now and then his thoughts would drift back to her. He wondered what she was like, what kind of things interested her, what she did in her free time, even what her favourite food was. He hoped that eventually she would like him as much as he liked her even without knowing her. Most of all, he hoped he would build up the courage to talk to her the next time he saw her.

Another week had passed and he had let his best friend persuade him to go for a party that weekend. It would be a great way to relax and meet new people his best friend had said. But he knew the underlying intentions. To get his mind off of her and make him go back to the person he was before his whole being had been taken up with wanting to get to know her. His best friend said that he was only a shell of who he used to be, the fun seemingly sucked out of him.

He stood in a corner at the party with his friends. It was mostly doctors, a resident in dermatology had just finished the specialisation exam and was celebrating with what seemed like half the hospital. He wasn’t complaining. He had a bottle of beer in his hand and was nodding along to whatever was being spoken about, not really paying attention. His eyes flitted around the room, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. It was highly probable that she would be there since he had already seen some of the other people he has seen her in the cafeteria with.

Around half an hour later, his beer was over and the conversation was dulling. Having not yet spotted her and also no interest in the current conversation topic, they were talking about basketball and he knew absolutely nothing about that, he decided to head over to the makeshift bar and get himself a new beer. Not really watching where he was going, he bumped into someone. Immediately grabbing onto their shoulders to steady them from the impact, he felt a shiver run down his spine. He couldn’t explain it, but even without looking down, he could tell that it was her.

He looked down at her and she up at him at exactly the same time. Their eyes met, her chocolate brown ones with his hazel ones, and he felt the world slowing down around him. This was the first time he was properly looking at her, up close, and she was just as beautiful, if not more, as he had imagined her to be. Her brown eyes opened wide as she stared up at him, a faint blush spreading across her cheeks. She smiled shyly up at him and he could honestly say that he fell in love. Right there and then. In his eyes, there was nothing more beautiful than her smile and knowing that she was smiling at him made his heart soar. He felt cheesy for thinking like this but it really was how he felt.

He held out his hand and she grabbed it, giving it a firm shake.

“Carson.”

“Melissa.”