Random Access Memories

Series of volatile thoughts and non-volatile memories.

[xaeious]

Soul Mate

I think we're written in the stars, Predetermined by fate or cosmic forces. Made to bear each other's personal scars, Yet one another's positive reinforcements.

Having meet you feels very miraculous, Like breaking from a long time curse, A heavenly blessing in disguise, Or like a child delighted in surprise.

Losing you would be my greatest fear, But being with you made me stronger. Maybe as long as you are near here, then may want to live a bit longer.

— Xaeious

[xaeious]

Hello Love, Goodbye

We interacted from years in quiet screens, Built friendships through digital routines. Then finally, you stood so near; A stranger’s face, yet so familiar, dear.

No promises, no grand design, Just borrowed time, your hand in mine. We let the silence melt away, And gave our bodies leave to stay.

In whispered breath and tangled sheets, We made a world where soul and skin could meet. A fleeting spark, but heaven-sent; A night that felt like permanence.

We didn’t leave with morning light, Just parted slowly through the night. And as you left, I wished you would have stayed; No goodbyes, but maybe hello love again, someday.

— Xaeious

[xaeious]

I Still Eat Your Heart Out

If you only had a fucking clue, On how much I'd choose to stay, For everything we felt was true; But we're left with no other way.

Thoughts in the back of our mind, Did really drive us both crazy. But we choose to be blind, Over things; we cared deeply.

If only we chose to fight, On anything that's been through, Everything might have felt right; And nothing would ever be this blue.

If only I could scream and shout, And express how I feel over you, But all I can ever do is write my heart out, Knowing both of us; didn't want to pursue.

— Xaeious

[xaeious]

Do Not Give Up On Love

Allow yourself to be vulnerable, someone will find it comfortable. Leave your baggage of past hurts, cause you've known what's worse.

Open your heart to where it leads, and soon you'll find what you need. Never hold back on your feelings, it will guide you into your healing.

Soon you'll soar and rise again, worry not to fall by then, and if you'd probably do; I'll take the fall with you.

Keep on smiling, @fidjethspinner.

[xaeious]

You Are Not Weak For Loving

Building walls up yet, you let your guard down. Gave your all til debt, found you to drown.

Lived on consequences, despite circumstances; from takes of chances.

Damaged, healed and revived; from a time long passed away. Managed to bravely survived, and fight for another day.

This one's for @fidjethspinner. Remember to put on a happy face.

[xaeious]

Thank You For Everything

I’m melancholic but I’ve never been this sad before. I embraced the void but with you; I found home again. I finally already had let everything out. I tried understanding life but I always ended up with more questions. You have left me unsettled. Right now, all I'm thinking is that I'm afraid of losing you. Please let me know if these questions are better left unanswered. But one thing I know for sure is that all things work together for good.

[xaeious]

How do you get people to read/see your work?

At this moment in time, only here on tumblr.

[xaeious]

hello, I enjoy reading what you write so much

Thank you anon <3

[xaeious]

Sophia 

In a strange crowd of people, You are the only one I noticed. My heart beats so fast, it tripled; Stomach butterflies - floated.

I unexpectedly run into you. That time you had someone new, You are happy with your lover; I already knew we were really over.

I knew I really had to let you go, But rest assured, it was love /  us. And I just want to let you know, That you were my very first love.

PS. I’m happy for you.

— Xaeious

[xaeious]

What Are You Doing To Me? 

You are my valuable belonging You left her as a past baggage. I could see her need of longing, This causes me a lot of damage.

You’re the always there kind of guy when everthing is falling apart. But every questions I try to deny are hiding deep inside my heart.

If you actually really knew how worse, how hard your love actually hits. You cannot even know that it hurts, and I think I really do not want it.

Maybe all this weird overeactions are the causes of my uneasy blues. Baby, all of my crazy imaginations really leads me into your shoes.

— Xaeious

For anon: The key to a successful relationship is constant communication and understanding. Hope you guys stays strong and make it to infinity and beyond.

[xaeious]

Can you make me a poem about a girl who always feel so jealous to her boyfriend's ex because the ex wants him back and they still have communication?

What Are You Doing To Me?

[xaeious]

You Are My Kind of Drink 

The one that keeps me up night like caffeine and relentlessly drowns me like an alcohol. The thing makes my heart beats fast often, that sometimes causes my sweetest downfall. The best thirst quencher over and over again, which always gives me every energy above all.

— Xaeious

[xaeious]

My Collateral Beauty 

You are a mysterious work of chance, Both gift that I am always thankful of; And a curse that I would endlessly bear.

You are the love I have forever desired, The death that I both fear and wanted; And the time that I wish I had the luxury.

— Xaeious

[xaeious]

I Walked Away 

I stepped into the void, With whats and whos to avoid, From being paranoidly annoyed.

I left behind all what ifs, Thens, buts, maybes, Ands and ors.

I carried a baggage of cached wonderings, non-volatile rememberings   and volatile broodings.

I walked away from you, Because you've found someone new, Out of the blue.

— Xaeious

[xaeious]

Can We Still Be Friends? 

I've lost you like thoughts, But found myself in a memory. I miss the familiarity of a loss, That was once a deep reverie.

I know we have been blind, Casted our sights in vain. Let's leave the past behind, And start all over again.

— Xaeious

I dedicate this to a friend which I’ve recently had a conflict with.

[xaeious]

Every Little Piece Of You 

For every unanswered questions, I will grant you answers. For every roller coaster of emotions, I will take a ride with you. For every feeling of depressions, I will toss the sadness away. For every little piece of you, Are missing pieces of me.

— Xaeious

Inspired from the username of @everylittlepieceofyou One of my favorite poets in tumblr.

[xaeious]

God, Glory and Gold 

From all those bricks thrown, And walls that broke down, I'll build a castle out of it; A place we'd be together with.

You don't have to set your defenses up, Or let your guard down as backup, For I am your knight in shining armor; Anytime, everywhere, even in the darkest hour.

Everything that fits for a king, That would be you - my only queen. There's nothing more important as told; Because you are my God, Glory and Gold.

— Xaeious