WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE

✖Just a monster who can't take it anymore ✖ 25 years lost out in the world ✖always depressed and pissed off but trying to get better

[blackqueerblog]

A middle school in Achille, Oklahoma is closed following violent threats by parents on social media against Maddie, a 12-year-old transgender student who identifies as female and used the girls’ bathroom.

Maddie had been using the staff bathroom at her old school but used the girls’ bathroom at the new school because she wasn’t sure where the staff bathroom was. She was then accused of peeping under a bathroom stall. Her mother said it was probably because she “leans very far forward to use the bathroom.”

Then the threats began on a private parents’ Facebook group for the school. The parents called Maddie “it” and “thing”, suggested that her genitalia be mutilated to make her female (“a good sharp knife will do the job real quick”). One said it was “hunting season on them kind” and said there was “no bag limit.”

Maddie’s mother Brandy Rose said she fears for her life: “These are adults making threats– I don’t understand it. She’s an awesome kid. To see any fear in her, I can’t explain how bad that hurts me for them to hurt her.”

KXII reports: “The sheriff said the mother filed a protective order against one parent but no other arrests have been made, however several agencies including the FBI are stepping in to see if any comments constitute a hate crime.”

See the screenshots:

Sorry to say this but if we have to think about whether or not threatening to cut a 12 year old child is a hate crime means there is no hope for us. What has this nation become when it’s citizens feel they have a right to threaten minorities with no fear of repercussion. The only ringing heard now is the death knell of freedom..

Savages…

[xaio-the-nightmare0]

Kill all humans

[the-horny-loner]

Goodbye

What happens to death when he losses his purpose for being who he is? Nothing, life just goes on as if he never existed to begin with. So much like death, I’ll just disappear and I don’t think I’m coming back cause I don’t want to. Goodbye.

[gloomyteens]

This is a picture of my best friend. Normal photo, right? Well, look closer in the back where the yellow circle is. Can you see the face? 

This isn’t just some normal chain letter. My friend died 3 nights after this picture was taken, the police having no idea how he died considering he was 18 and perfectly healthy. 

It turns out a boy died in that room a few years ago. He was murdered and then a few nights later he was found dead in his bedroom from his skull broken and slowly bleeding to death. 

If you don’t reblog this within an hour, you’ll hear a soft whimper for 3 nights straight. On the 4th night, the boy will come from your closet while you’re sleeping and kill you for not helping us put his soul at rest.

This is not fake. 3 people have already died from not passing this on. 

[sailor4evs]

I wanted to not believe this but…… QQ naow I’m scared

[apritello4everfanboy-deactivate]

O_o

[snooprrifle-deactivated20181217]

Fuckin son of a bitch, i hate the fuck out of chain mails. I need to know how to get rid of them. I am very sorry to whoever is easily scared or easily convinced, unfortunately i am easily convinced.

[spiderdickens-deactivated201608]

im scar ed im scared ewjfnkajw why do yi iu people do this pl s

[puppeteerparty]

Thats really sad

[middle-the-nerd]

Just to be safe also R.I.P to those who have died in that room and from this post

[wdniko4rt-archived-deactivated2]

Rest in peace to people who is die.

[rainbowchu3]

Not scared. Just reblogging because I’m bored xD

[skyger-deactivated20160813]

I’m scared °-°

I’m sorry, I don’t want to die ;_;

[memederechan-deactivated2016080]

NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPEFUCKTHISSHIT IM sTAYING /aLIVe/

[virussina-deactivated20170927]

:/

[zelda7999]

i d-dont wanna die ;,( i need comforting now

[randa-xx-deactivated20190205]

I DON’T WANNA DIE OMG

REBLOG

[smiley-seiko-deactivated2016121]

Ugh just kill me already

[norc-ara-deactivated20160821]

Rest in peace whoever who may have died

[iwillstabyoubitch-blog]

U DESERVE TO LIVE LIVE I SAY LIIIVEEEEEEE

[toy-bonnie-the-toy-bunny-deacti]

i know this isn’t real butt i’m still rebloging

[staryhask-deactivated20160707]

:0

[the-mememe-girl-blog]

NOT DIEING TODAY

[darkpeachhy]

NO!!! NOPE NOT DYING TODAY

[thatgirlplushy-blog]

NOT DIEING TODAY

[ajmiila]

fuck why you post here !? xDDD

[binnie-and-bendy-deactivated201]

Maria:no!!! *cries and hide in a box*

[ask-mercy-bendy-blog]

((nope))

[alixia-offline-blog]

I haven’t slept at all and I’m paranoid. FUCK IT. SORRY GUYS

[reddarchivesdeadaccount-deactiv]

Lol wtf is even sleep :^))

[xaio-the-nightmare0]

Honestly, who sleeps indoors anymore...

[manticoreimaginary]

[xaio-the-nightmare0]

Tell me

What is the point of finally being able to have a chance to say what I've been holding back for the longest time and losing the one I said it too? Every time I see a damn happy couple it not only pisses me off but at the same time I just happen to be scared out of my fucking mind. I spin my wheels day after day hoping that something will finally go right, but never really does. But I'm just waiting on the day when something good finally happens and I won't be alone or miserable. But to be scared out of my fucking mind and pissed....I don't like it. Damn near brings to tears, cause what if I can never be that happy with my life? What if it's so late for me to happy to be with one person who I want to be with that I'll stay pissed at every couple I see? I hate being alone, I hate the people I'm surrounded by, and I just hate the fact that there's nothing or no one left for me. I don't know what to do anymore. Do I end it all, do I keep waiting, do I keep going as empty shell void of any emotion and life....I just don't know....

[xaio-the-nightmare0]

Time is cruel

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time just to fix everything I messed up. I feel like the weight of my life is crashing down on me and I can't do anything to stop it. I know should try to move forward but it's no use. If I could just have another chance to be with her again maybe I start enjoying my life but I don't know if I have it in me to be happy again. I guess all I can do is feel happy for her cause she's with the person she wants and feel sorry for myself cause I can't be with her. This is the third time this has happened to me and I just don't know why it has to happen so often. I lose the ones who I want to love, so I guess I hate the letter "L" for it all. I wish I could find a way to see or understand why I am the way I am now prior to two years ago. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. 😔

[xaio-the-nightmare0]

I've been told I have mental issues

The fact that I'm being told that I mental issues hurts. I've had mental issues since I was a dumbass kid, thanks to my so-called parents, people who I thought were friends, and so on. So here is a list of all the mental issues I apparently have: I love someone, I want to be with one of my favorite ex's, I am always horny, I'm homeless, I have no friends, I'm always alone, no one understands me, no one accepts who I am, I have no one to turn to that, and maybe the biggest issue I have is the fact that I'm human and I'm alive. All of that can't be passed off as a mental issue, it just can't. And if it is, why? Why is it my fault that turned into a shit show? So going by list, the fact that I find myself loving someone who makes me happy and wanting to be with them should be a very good thing for me because I DON'T have anything good in my life other than my job. To me, if I can't love and be with one of my favorite ex's then I WILL NOT be with anyone else because my heart CANNOT take anymore pain and suffering. Cause each time I love someone, I lose them, and I just won't go through the motions of being with someone and hung up on someone who makes me happier than anyone can. Next is the fact that I'm horny, other than that being a physical problem because I don't have anyone that I'm able to be intimate with, there's nothing I can do about it. It's not my fault that I'm waiting to be with the one person that I want to be with and have something real. So I don't know what to say about it. The fact that I'm homeless is a whole other story that I won't get into. No friends, it's just that, no friends to turn to in my time of need, just a bunch of people who wishes they help. The ones I might have, is my favorite ex and two others who act like a couple and spend more time with with themselves and me whenever they think about me. Case in point, after I see the bus heading downtown, they hit me up wanting me to meet up with them. They'll pay for an uber for them but not me. Currently, I could have been somewhere warm and stoned and wouldn't be writing this if they had found me a ride. All I got was a "sorry bro." Then as for always being alone with no one understand me or to accept me for me with no one to turn to, sure that could be a mental issue cause I've had no one to open up to, no best friend who knows me inside and out has actually fucked me over royal. The only friends I had were always at school and they never came over to hang out with me like real friends. The Times that I did have people over was when my shitty mother wasn't around. But we never inside watching movies or playing video games like I wanted only cause they couldn't stay or my shitty mother would say no. So I don't know what to say about being human or about being alive, it just doesn't seem like I should be. I feel like I'm being punished for it. What did I do, dear God pleased forgive me for what I did or anything and everything cause I'm too lost looking for light. What the fuck is a fucking psychologist gonna do or say about any of this, how are they supposed to help me live or keep living? Not even therapist can help me. So I just look up and ask for the simplest of things and forgiveness for my shitty life and I still get nothing. Who the fuck is supposed to be on my side through this mess. Why can't I ever seem to get anything right? But instead of feeling better, I'm crying my eyes out over being a worthless, pathetic, loser with absolutely nothing to my name. I just want my God sent Angel back, my favorite ex, why did I have to lose her? 😭😭😭😭

[xaio-the-nightmare0]

No more

Why do I feel like I just laid out all my cards out on the table only to be rejected and ignored. Why is it too much to ask for just the one person who I want to be with? Why do lose her everyone else out there? Doesn't anyone care how much she means to me or what she means to me? I've already lost everything else I've had, if I lose her, I won't be with anyone else cause to me, it's either a waste of my time and effort or no one else would even consider being with me. I guess the only person who would actually have me is some huge Mexican chick who really isn't what I'm looking for in a chick. Needless to say, I don't want to be with her. I guess if I were to say that out loud, I would look like a jackass. The only thing I did to her to even remotely want me is just fucked her. That's it, no date, no nothing, just kindness and sex. I had no intention of dating her or being anything to her. I guess I was just wasting time until I got to see the one person who I want to come to the same campus as me, but she didn't stay long. Years later, I still want to be with her, the other chick still wants me, and the one I want is with someone else and wanting another, some chance I got to be with her with all that. If seeing other chicks as a waste of time and effort and then the fact that they might not even want me because their not looking for a relationship with me or cause they automatically want to be with someone else, what would be the point of living? I would totally alone and empty, never being worth while to or for anyone. I've already noticed that no one knows me on a personal level so I basically have no real friends, I'm at the lowest of the low, I'm homeless cause of my so-called mother who turned a blind eye to her sons depression and anxiety and made it worse. If this is all I can get out of a shitty life and trying to make the best out of it, shouldn't I just give up? There's no one anywhere who can say they actually were glad to meet me, there's no one else wanting to be with me, no one loves me, I'm just some stupid friend can be replaced or ignored at moments convenience and that's all I'll ever be to people, a friend. Friends don't get to do shit! Fuck your friend zone, I never wanted to be just some stupid friend and get nothing. All that means to me is that I don't actually matter to anyone, and I guess I never will so what is the point in going on in life if I'm going to 100 percent alone. If I could just be with the one person who I want to be with and have her say that I actually matter to her and she loves me, that would mean the world to me because I have no one left. But thanks to my losing streak, I may just end up dying before 30 and I'm already 25.

[xaio-the-nightmare0]

Honestly

To be reminded of what I don't have and then force me to realize that I can't have what everyone else has because of some bullshit that's out my control and has never been in my control really fucks me up. It's like people just love telling me what to do and where to go. I don't want nor do I need help from your stupid bitch ass government and food stamp bullshit. "Here, work two jobs and stress out even more." Gee thanks, but I'm sure I'll need to get a new place to live first cause oh you know, my shitty life went so fucking well at my last place, I ended up getting kicked out for nothing. So thanks for putting all that shit in my face yet again and don't notice that there is something seriously wrong with me and thanks for treating it was a fucking joke. Fuck it.

[xaio-the-nightmare0]

Beginning of the end

Finally came to the realization that I was never supposed to be born. Turns out, the one responsible for my being here doesn't want me around and I'm starting to notice that she never wanted the life she made for herself. Thinking about everything that's been going on, it's the only thing that makes sense but what am I supposed to do or think? By her not wanting me anymore explains why I am the way I am. To bad no one can actually tell me the real truth instead of the one I come to in my fucked up head. If I was never supposed to be born, I guess I never really mattered to anyone, especially the one who brought me in to this fucking fucked up, twisted, and backwards world.

[xaio-the-nightmare0]

Living the curse

Wow, I feel like something is eating my insides and I keep shitting it all out...am I slowly dying? I live a life that is crumbling down around me and I see no relief from it in sight. I just found out how empty I really am. Dear God I need help! 😭😭😭😭 why can't I fit in!? Why does everyone else get to have such great lives and I don't!? Why does every negative emotion I have end with physical pain!? I can't keep going like this, I feel like everything is shutting down in me and is giving up the will to keep going and so am I. Oh well, I'll just suffer in silence and fade away and disappear from everyone's memory.

[xaio-the-nightmare0]

Still lost in the dark

Is life really worth living if you have to do it alone and fully knowing the fact that no one wants anything to do with you? People just use you, take what they want, and leave you when your at your worst.

[sleep-broken]

[iglovequotes]

[xaio-the-nightmare0]

If only

If you only knew If you only knew what I love If you only knew what I hate If you only knew how long I’ve waited If you only knew what I’ve been through If you only knew what I’ve seen If you only knew how I felt

If you only knew me You would know I love weed, anime, and food, plus you You would know I hate being treated like a joke and being played for a fool You would know I have waited since high school to be with you You would know I have only been through hell from family and fake friends You would know I have seen how ugly people can get when they act so nice You would know I have only felt pain, betrayal, heart broken, sad, and alone

If I only knew If I only knew what If I only knew why If I only knew when If I only knew where If I only knew how If I only knew you

If I only knew what I actually meant to you If I only knew why you let me into your life If I only knew when I saw your face I love it each time If I only knew where I could find the right words to make you stay If I only knew how the world actually worked I would change it to be with you If I only knew you were going to disappear, I would have gone with you

If only I could have the chance that I’ve been asking and waiting all the years to just be with you, would that make me a better person? If only I knew how to hold back on my true feelings then maybe I wouldn’t scare you. If only you could find a way to to make a small spot for me in your heart then maybe I can stop feeling so alone. If only the world wasn’t the ass it is now maybe I could be happy with myself and be with you. If only I wasn’t treated like a joke and people actually listened to what I had say, it would give me more confidence to open up to you. If only I wasn’t so used to being denied everything that I wanted or needed, I wouldn’t have aimed it all at you and drove you away.

They say life is full of “IF” If only I knew If only you knew If only we had known

If only if only if only

If only I could know if how much you cared for me when I was with you If only I knew how much I meant to you when we were together If only I knew what I meant to you If only I knew why you didn’t stay If only I knew when I could see with you again If only I knew where to find to you

I’m sorry I didn’t know anything of these I’m sorry I lost you I’m sorry I don’t know what to do with my pain I’m sorry I drove you away I’m sorry I didn’t open up to you sooner

I am so sorry for the way things ended up between us, please find it in your heart to forgive me and if you need or want me, all I’ll be doing is siting and waiting to be let back in your heart.

-by one of the last sentimental guys of 90s

[xaio-the-nightmare0]

Hmm, with nothing else better to do I found my way here. The fact that I love to alone pisses me off because I also hate being alone. No matter what I do, where I go, who I'm with, that lonely feeling just never seems to go away. The worst part of it all is overbearing and overwhelming depression that just never goes away as well. That much I do hate, but I guess I can't really help if I live in a depressing place and can't really find the quickest way out of it with no where to go. Sigh, 2017 the year with the most stress inducing way of living a life. I mean, what type of living can one be doing if they can't do a damn thing to be happy or something. But whatever I guess, Mary Jane kush has replaced 99.99% of everything I need that I could get from other people but no would let me, so I go smoke some weed and forget about it. I have a really sad life huh? (at Valley of Oceanside)

[fassyy-blog]