My arms are still stretched reaching for you
The aftermath, the silence that is heard at home,
the traces that you left and let lost
And your absence feels like the sunset
When the sun beams that crash in through the windows
Slowly but surely disappear
And overhead lights forcibly light the scene
Heaven knows we shine when we’re besides each other
But i cry whenever a good omen blesses me
Today i sleep with your shirt
Cause you’re angry at me and you want it back
But to smell your scent in my sleep just one more time
Would give back the faith that i once had and had lost
Now every time that i see you i shiver
Its like something comforting and quiet
Morphed into some other thing that’s plain violent
I purposefully turned you into an unsettling thought
Sex to me right now is repulsive
And the inherently sexual nature of the human being
Makes me fear that i’ll be destined to aimlessly wander through so many doors
But never purposefully through yours
Like a villain in some old film
I can see you ever so clearly walking in your long black coat
And i notice in this timeline you’re facing away from me, as the black in the back of your coat is colored in the same tone as the petrol i drenched you in
Oh how i yearn to share this blood stained screen of mine with you
But to know that there’s no point in doing so
Makes me want to patch up this wound and open it up simultaneously
Your keys are still hanging beside my door waiting for you to pick them up
And i empathize with them
As i share their same wish, hanging from a noose while looking down with shame
My good omen, my eight ball
I write this letter to you in the deepest, darkest hours of my journey
I fear ending it will seal my fate
But for now, i send it your way
And with every aching part of my being