todays bird

#extradirty
Cosmic Funnies
No title available
hello vonnie
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

@theartofmadeline

★
ojovivo
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
cherry valley forever

tannertan36

Andulka

PR's Tumblrdome
noise dept.

No title available

oozey mess
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

Origami Around

Janaina Medeiros
seen from United States

seen from Canada
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Poland

seen from United States
seen from Peru
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States

seen from T1
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia

seen from United States
@xm-junhyung
I couldn’t see the point of getting up. I had nothing to look forward to.
Plath, Sylvia. The Bell Jar.
birthday boy's bang
Read More
daddy day care
That too (/he spats as he takes the small hands that tries to squeeze his cheeks and holds them still. It’s amazing to see how tiny those hands are compared to his and he plays with them, getting distracted for a moment before taking the pants to get the boy dressed again. He looks back at Junhyung and he can hear the sass in his tone but he lifts an eyebrow because he is extremely amused now) Oh really? Admit that seeing my paternal side is making you fall harder for me. (/says playfully as he tugs the boy’s shirt down, making sure he is properly dressed before picking him up. He holds the baby against his chest as he puts the things he won’t need inside the baby bag because he’s not letting that mess there, of course, and he’s not about to wait for Junhyung to do it. And while the boy wiggles and whines, Woobin simply takes out a baby bottle, still lukewarm and sits on the chair where all of Junhyung’s patients sit whenever they need to tell him about his problems. Woobin has one at the moment - a whiny one - so it’s only fair for him to sit there as well. He places the boy on his lap, laying down and the child’s hands reach for the bottle faster than he should and the man has to help him put the bottle’s nipple in his mouth because he looks and sounds hungry as ever. It’s only then that he remembers he’s been going around getting things for the baby and didn’t even stop to eat) Did you eat yet? Do you want to? You should be a little sweetheart and order something for us, I’m starving.
(/ junhyung's lips curl into a scowl, though it holds no malice purely because of who it's directed at, and he has to admit that woobin doesn't look half bad with a child. granted, junhyung used to go out of his way to avoid people carrying children, thought they looked so awkward and miserable because of the demonic thing in their arms, so this is definitely one step up for him. or maybe it's just because it's woobin. ) the fact that you think it's possible for me to fall harder.. (/ the words are slightly mumbled and they die off at the end, his eyes on the child again and just how big the eyes are. he thinks they take up most of the little infant's face, but with a nose and mouth as small, there's not much competition for facial features after all. junhyung moves to sit on one of the couches after woobin takes his own seat, constantly eyeing the baby to make sure he doesn't spit or puke anywhere in junhyung's office. he'd plead a convincing case that it's totally woobin's fault and his mess to clean up, but junhyung knows he'd end up losing. so preventative measure are all he has left. he perks up at the mention of food, though, and starts to shake his head, but as woobin continues without taking a single breath, junhyung isn't all too sure what he's shaking his head at anymore. he's glad woobin's asking him about food, at least, because food he can do. babies, on the other hand, and he's a lost cause. ) i, uh, ate breakfast? (/ wriggles around awkwardly on the couch to slide a hand into his pocket and retrieve his phone, flipping through the contacts he has. he knows he should really organise his phone a little better, because when food take away numbers are showing up more frequently than names, it's a general indication that something's not right. ) feel like anything in particular?
daddy day care
(/he watches Junhyung taking the baby, tempted to tell him that’s not how you hold a baby, but fortunately the kid does a better job at adjusting himself than the hypnotist at keeping him steady. there are tiny hands going for the younger’s face, curious, along with big, blink-y eyes and little giggles that follow) I think he thinks you have a funny face, Jun. (/says and takes the diaper from the bag, putting it on the table and taking the baby with the care of someone who didn’t hold too many babies in his life, but curiously knows how to do it perfectly. There is a little whine before small hands grip onto his shirt and his voice takes on a soothing tone when he shushes the little boy. He puts him down on the desk, keeping one hand over his tummy as the little boy playfully kicks his legs and keeps staring at Junhyung - who would have known he’d be such a nice distraction. he pulls the tape to open the diaper, holding the boy’s legs up by his ankles to take out the smelly object and put it aside on the desk - it’s a miracle that he doesn’t flip it down, really.) Close that, please (/he tells Junhyung because no, he’s not just going to stare at them, he needs to help too. and then he just takes a couple of wipes to clean the little boy as he giggles and wiggles left and right before putting the clean diaper underneath him and quickly fold the tapes in, making sure to do so about three times to make sure it’s properly adjusted) There you go, now you feel better, huh? (/casually talks to the baby, leaning forward enough for him playfully smack his face before squishing his cheeks and letting out a loud squeal. It’s really difficult not to smile at all of that, really)
no, hyung, you're the one who thinks i have a funny face. (/ his head leans back and away from the grabby hands of the small child. a few seconds with the baby, and anyone with eyes could tell that he's destined for a life of shitty parenting and holding an infant like it's going to explode at any second. but at least he's got woobin, and yuki, and hopefully that'll be enough for now. because he is not looking forward to watching woobin change this diaper, let alone learning how to do one himself. junhyung has to admit that it's cute, though, watching woobin dote on the child. it's not jealousy for the child that he's feeling, but a jealousy towards woobin. in a twisted work of fate, junhyung actually wants to be good with children and wants to see them as something other than little demonic beings who spit and excrete constantly, but he's not holding his breath for it to happen any time soon. he makes a face at the child when it looks his way, however, and he's holding the baby's gaze for a little longer than expected, but it's okay. snapping out of his trance when he's spoken to again, junhyung scrunches up his nose and deals with the dirty diaper, fingers pinching as gently and quickly as he can manage before waddling to the trash can, tying the plastic rubbish bag up so the smell doesn't escape. ) who knew you could be daddy of the year.. (/ snorts and widens his eyes as a tiny hand slaps woobin across the cheek, a brilliant smile tugging at his lips now. ) it's adorable.
(/he waits for a fidgety Junhyung to say something smart but of course that the younger only doesn't and Woobin raises his eyebrows in a way that Junhyung can understand that he wants to smack his head) Is that your attempt at 'sugarcoating' this, huh? (/it sounds like a pun - unintended. he moves the baby to his other arm, pulling back his hoodie as he looks, curious, at Junhyung) Take him for a second, I got diapers on my way here and he needs a change. I'm going to use your desk by the way.
(/ the second he’s given the look, junhyung feels like protecting his head and getting out of woobin’s reach. only, woobin can’t hit him this time because there’s a little thing, that’s keeping junhyung assault free. but he’s not at all grateful to it. he scoffs instead at the unintended pun, and it’s so funny to junhyung purely because he knows woobin didn’t—couldn’t—mean it. junhyung can’t remember the last time woobin actually cracked a joke, but he’s almost certain it was at his own expense. junhyung takes a small sip of the coffee and pulls a face, but the drink is out of his hands just as quickly as they had been in. replaced by a staring, wide-eyed wonder that he’s compelled to drop on its head. ) but… fine. (/ concedes now rather than later, because he knows woobin will get his way regardless of how much he whines about it. it’s not like he uses his desk all that often anyway. )
[text] .... Ur boyfriend calls all the shots, doesn't he? [text] u can probably have that part reprogrammed tho. [text] i expected a "no, that's bad for u, run" or smth. U know I'm probably going to fuck this over, don't u?
( txt ) what does me not boasting have to do with him calling all the-- (/ backspaces. )
( txt ) you know what
( txt ) next time i see you
( txt ) i'm going to hypnotise you into believing you're a duck
( txt ) my fingers were typing too fast and i'm not sure if i meant duck or dick but either way. :l
( txt ) if you think you'll fuck it up, guess what you're probably going to do. do you want him to be happy? do you want to be happy?
( txt ) it's hard. i've fucked up enough times to know. but i promise you, it's worth it.
[text] why being modest when I can be truthful. U should boast more, hyung. [text] I know he was born in baeksol. Ice is not my style though save for some exceptions [text] that's it? "fall in love and take care of him" that's ur advice??
( txt ) i'm the prototype, remember? probably wasn't programmed with the ability to boast.
(/ he feels like he should be asking more questions, should probably be playing the protective older brother card and demand to know more about this person that ilhoon supposedly loves, but he's not intrusive like that, not even when it's family. )
( txt ) fall in love and love him. did you really expect something different, ilhoon?
( txt ) especially if he doesn't like strangers, then i'm no good.
(/he curses, gets a blink from the baby and then picks him up) should we poison mommy's coffee?(/a giggle an he can only smile. Half an hour and he has a baby in one arm and coffee in hand before literally kicking the door open) A little help here?
(/ spins around on his desk chair, hands behind his head and eyes closed tightly. he doesn't feel like doing anything—not paperwork, not scheduling, nothing—and so when there's noise at the front door, he all but leaps up and sprints. he waddles to the front room and his mouth is agape with what greets him. ) uh .. (/ says nothing because what really is there to say when your boyfriend-to-be-sometime-in-the-future has a baby in his arms that is most certainly not yours??? ) two sugars, right? (/ takes the coffee, blinking. )
[text] I'm hot, fun, cute, lovable and amazing. It's great being me, hyung, I don't know why you ask. [text] ... I kind of put memory notes on his phone with important stuff I want him to remember. like my bday because presents \o/ or other things. [text] he's from... around I'm not sure (/he lies because how do you say "he's from the same crime organization as me and lives in an island, somewhere in TLOW where you won't ever be able to go"?) [text] besides, he doesn't like strangers
( txt ) you should really look into adding modest to that list, kid
( txt ) hopefully he remembers to check his phone regularly
( txt ) you're not sure where he's from? never been to his place?
( txt ) i'm not a stranger. i'm just strange.
( txt ) it's okay, though. just take care of him, i guess.
(/nearly cuts Junhyung's words because he's so not dealing with that problem alone) Fine, I'll go there. I hope you don't have appointments because you do know that you're going to babysit while I go out shopping for her, don't you? Or you can come along, but you're definitely being the nanny since you don't want to be the mom. Should I look for a mom elsewhere? (/casually teases even if he knows he's probably getting a shriek from the other)
(/ the only sound heard from junhyung for a while is a long, drawn out sigh. he’s nearly done for the day and his schedule was going to be cleared out in half an hour after he filed and rescheduled a few things, but he can kiss that goodbye now. but it’s not so bad. it’s not like he hates playing nanny for a baby that’s totally not related to either woobin or himself. no, not at all. ) you’re so lucky you’re cute, hyung. (/ he gasps loudly, a little too dramatically for even himself, and scoffs. ) but cute won’t save you from that comment, ahjussi. pick me up a coffee on the way pleaseandthankyouhyung- (/ hangs up, not even giving woobin a second to consider saying no. and with junhyung’s logic, he’s totally getting his coffee now. )
( txt ) you’re the best. ♡
(/rolls his eyes as soon as his phone rings. He knew he was going to freak out) No, I decided to play with dolls now. Of course it's a human one. Eats, cries, the works so help me before I go there and make it pee on you. Oh it's a boy by the way.
(/ chokes back a laugh because woobin’s ‘doll period’ was bound to happen sooner or later. evidently, it was much later, when he was nowhere close to being a child anymore. junhyung totally saw it coming. his face is a mixture of confusion and amusement, but the amused part diminishes pretty quickly when he’s dragged into it. ) wait, why me? i swear if you start calling me mommy junhyung again… (/ the threat dies down when he realises he has nothing to combat against baby pee. and the thought makes him cringe. ) i’m at work. bring it here.. if it pees in my office, you’re cleaning it up.
[text] I'm letting you know before you come here and freak out or hear from others. [text] I kind of have a kid [text] it's not mine though, I didn't get anyone pregnant if that's what you're thinking. I found it. [text] just letting you know. I'm just gonna warn the police and wait until someone shows up to get it.Just a question, do you know anything about baby formula or diapers? I have no idea what size to pick because how old is this kid i have no idea...
( txt ) that is never a good way to start talking to someone, hyung.
( txt ) ……..
(/ presses the home button to exit his messages repeatedly without even thinking, he just clickclickclicks, and dials woobin’s number, far too quickly and so his fingers fumble and he’s forced to repeat the number slowly— and to breathe. he remembers to breathe after a short while. once he hears the dial tones disappear he starts talking, not even bothering to wait for woobin to say hello. ) please tell me you’re tripping on acid or something. a baby? like a real like human one?
[text] no because u know I wouldn't spare u any details and I'm sure u don't want to know that much about ur brother's sex life. [text] You're the prototype; I'm the improved version, hyung :> [text] no no no, it's not THAT bad thank god. He doesn't forget me because I'm supposed to 'be there' u know? It's like I'm engraved. it's just everything else like what we do or talk about so idk what else will fade into black. i mean, feelings-wise. [text] thx so much, hyung. any ideas?
( txt ) ew
( txt ) if only there were someone to hypnotise me
( txt ) i wonder what it's like to be you, ilhoon. you're a mystery.
( txt ) i'd say leave him sticky notes as reminders but that never works out well. in any story.
( txt ) well it's either i help you or him, and i already know your head is a dangerous place.
( txt ) where's he from?