i’m finally happy again. i don’t hate you, just hope you healed.
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i’m finally happy again. i don’t hate you, just hope you healed.
i hope you die in a fire
i don’t know if i can ever trust you again. i’m trying so hard but sometimes i remember her and the others and i can’t stand you.
how do i tell you i’m not in love anymore
rules for surviving you
1. do not tell him anything good that happens. if you make a new friend, keep it to yourself because he’ll just think you’re going to leave for them. if you get a new opportunity, hold off because he’ll think about all the time you’ll spend somewhere else. if you find a new interest, lock it in the vault because, to him, its stupid and not worth talking about and he will get angry and dismissive if you bring it up.
2. if he’s drunk, apologize. even if you did nothing wrong. even if he’s twisting your arms behind your back or holding you down or pining you against the wall and choking you. make him feel like he didn’t do anything wrong. if he believes he’s wrong he will leave and hurt himself.
3. do not talk about how he hurts you. next time he will hurt you worse and it will be your fault.
4. if you need to run away, make sure he won’t find you. if he does he’ll either force you back or scream at you until you come back on your own.
5. don’t believe anything he tells you. always make sure. if he tells you he’s okay, he’s not. he will lie about anything to make himself seem perfect.
6. don’t ask him for love. he is not attracted to you. let him come to you, because if you seem like you want it too bad he won’t give it to you. tone down how much you love him because if it’s too much he doesn’t want to be bothered with you.
7. don’t bring him around your friends. if he gets too comfortable he will call you names in front of them, berate you in front of them, and sometimes worse. its best to just keep him at a distance so he doesn’t have the chance.
8. if he’s drinking, keep to yourself and do what he wants. he won’t always get angry if you don’t, but when he does it doesn’t end well for you.
9. if he won’t stop overstimulating you or doing things you dont like, just have sex with him. it will distract him and make him too tired to make you uncomfortable anymore.
10. if something makes you insecure or unhappy, don’t tell him. he likes that.
11. if you’re hurt, don’t engage. just disconnect. it ends in less pain.
i fucking miss you ellie. i miss you every day. i wanna pick up the phone and call you. you’d be so fucking disappointed in everything that i am. you’re the only one who never hurt me. i need you here. im so sorry about what happened to you. i am so fucking sorry. id give my life to give you yours back.
crying thinking about the fact that ill never be enough for you no matter how hard i try and how im gonna spend the rest of my life breaking myself into more lovable pieces so you dont leave
i feel trapped when i’m with you
i cant stop thinking about it. i want to fucking die. i want to die
i had a dream you and her tied me up
am i enough
anyway it just sucks that even after everything and being fine aimee occupies all my thoughts when it comes to you. you’re sick of me being insecure but you never think about the fact that i didn’t care till she came around. till there was a little manic pixie with skinny legs and a flat stomach that you wanted so badly while you had me. and i keep thinking that if i looked like her you wouldve loved me enough. that you never wouldve given me a second glance if she was with you. that none of the other girls looked like me, either. that you were never a cheater till you got with me. and if you were never a cheater till you got with me then its the way i look thats the problem.
sometimes i wonder if you only liked me because i remind you of her
i hate that i miss when your hands would wrap around my neck so i wasnt lying when i said you took my breath away
wish i could just kill myself. fuck everything. even the good things.
getting told that i’m the last option that would put up with you was the worst part of my week
you’ve officially been loyal as many months as u spent telling her u loved her !