xpresshiit

instagram / letterboxd: @mikaelkobeyond

[japjarapjapjap]

Top5 male bloggers at top5 female bloggers nalang na magaling mag sulat.

Male (not in order)@daaamnpaolo@elementalalchemist@marcoxroses@xpresshiit@strangecolorenthusiast

Female (not in order)@oceanblithe@samisamisamice@buhaybabae@jiniba@stardustfairie (idk kung ano na new URL niya huhu)

[lostranger-deactivated20211118]

One of my good friends here na I haven’t really met yet pero we do catch up once in a while with each other is @xpresshiit . and I’m happy when good things happen in my friends’ lives. It’s nice to hear na naging eventful ang birthday mo this year. sorry lang late ako ng bati. haha lahat nalang late ko na binati. nakakahiya pa noong last time na nagusap tayo, kaseeee alam mo na. HAHA. shhhh. pero thank you :)

anyway, belated Happy Birthday. :D stay safe always. take care. malay mo makapagkita na talaga tayo in the future. 

[xpresshiit]

thank youuuuu @lostranger c:

[theselfcarelifestyle]

You can always start again. Clean out your social media. Create a new account for your new taste in music. Study or work in a new city. Start socialising with new people. Choose a new signature scent and style and purge the outdated parts of yourself. If you don’t like where you’re at, but you don’t know what to do about it - try starting again.

[xpresshiit]

hahaha

nandito

lang

ako

lagi

ah

[xpresshiit]

ayos naman

kailangan bang laging masampal

ng mga statements na

nagsisimula sa "at least ikaw...

yung iba nga eh... wala yan..."

yung taong nagpapakatotoo lang

sa pagsagot sa tanong na

"kamusta na?"

ano ba yung sukatan

na ginagamit para maging

valid at allowed ka sa

nararamdaman at naiisip mo?

hindi ba pede?

mali ba?

dapat di malungkot? masaktan?

kase yung sa iba, MAS

sayo, LANG lamang.

pati ba yung

nararamdaman mo

hindi rin enough

para maging valid

kaya ka nasasaktan, nalulungkot?

kinulang ka na naman.

di pa rin sapat.

mali, di pede

kase wala naman yan...

at least ikaw nga...

yung iba nga eh...

ok.

nagpakatotoo lang,

di ko naisip yung mas -

ang sumagot nalang ng

ayos naman.

[xpresshiit]

Unbecoming you+

We all have our own journeys to take to and each journey has different lessons and realizations.

As we go along the journey of our lives, we are in search of something. Some travels to know himself while others travel away from himself. 

Maybe it’s because the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.

It’s a journey called unbecoming you.

-mikael kobe

[xpresshiit]

For some people

they have to kill the person

they're born to be

in order to become the person

they want to be.

[xpresshiit]

Sugarcoat+

“Can’t make it, maybe next time. I’m a little bit tired. I just want to rest this weekend. Sorry.“ 

We say we want honesty but we swim in a sea of excuses for our pretenses. 

To the point that we even lie to ourselves frequently. 

We wear mask of pretensions when facing other people and worse when facing the mirror.

Instead of saying, “Sorry, I really can’t make it. I couldn’t get out of my bed. I’m dying… slowly, painlessly and nonchalantly withering to ashes.”

We find a million reasons not to be honest to other people and even to ourselves,

We just tend to say things in convenient terms.

And as always, we end up sugarcoating our struggles when we verbalize it, because we don’t want to be a damn big deal to others.

We are so weary to sprinkle sugary sweetness into the bitter-taste pain that we feel, yet we are greatly afraid to vocalize the real taste of it.

-mikael kobe

[xpresshiit]

and

2 years later

he's still sugarcoating.

[xpresshiit]

I'm back! Am I?

One and a half year has passed since I opened my account.

I missed how therapeutic it was for me every time I express myself on tumblr.

And it's amazing how I met such awesome people here during that time.

Sadly, I lost my connection from these people when I decided to take a break from all of my social media accounts for a year.

And if you're one of them and you still remember me, I hope you do, I kindly ask you to connect with me on my instagram and new facebook account so we can catch up.

Instagram account: @mikaelkobeyond

[xpresshiit]

I am so glad you are feeling better+

I am so glad you are feeling better.

But do you know how I’m doing these days?

My days are a struggle.

I can’t get out of bed.  

I feel like dying.

I can’t look at myself in the mirror.

I’m becoming more ruined.

I can’t swallow anything.

Numbness devoured me.

I can’t fall asleep.

Even my dreams are painful.

My heart is exploding,

From all the pain that fills in my heart.

I was shocked to see how much I can break.

If you break down as much as I do,

Will you know?

Will you give me something else to feel?

Something else to live in?

Because it is where the last of me dies.

I am so glad you are feeling better.

-mikael kobe

[xpresshiit]

Your rose-like embrace+

Love?

That’s an extravagance to me.

But why can’t I afford you to stay?

Only farewell is your repayment.

Maybe you are unhappy with a love from a good-for-nothing person like me.

Please don’t tell me it is not love.

That it is only greed.

I won’t give up on you and to these withered seasons I am trying to restore.

I really miss to be pricked by your rose-like embrace.

And it’s hard to believe that this embrace of yours is no longer present.

Stop apprising me that the closer I get, the more I’ll be hurt.

Bear in your mind that I want your heart, so I should take your pain too.

It’s not that I am speaking of love so easily.

Yeah, I know that a rose like you has thorns.

But what can I do?

I only see just you, only you.

I see nothing other than you.

I even get exhausted from the frequency of my thoughts of you.

Don’t brood that I’ll be in pain when I hold you.

Always remember that it’s not only your love that I can bear, but also your pain.

-mikael kobe

[xpresshiit]

Unforgettable Fragment+

Love is leaving. 

You are leaving. 

And I can’t even do anything. 

Never thought you'd go away. 

Never thought you’d be this lonely. 

Even though my loving arms are reaching out for you, 

You don’t choose to stay. 

Because when I hold you, you feel trapped. 

You even want to run away. 

Because with me, you are so lonely. 

I’m sorry if my love made you feel this way. 

But my heart is only asking for just one favor. 

Don’t forget about us. 

Don’t forget me, everything about me. 

And if you can’t remember anything, 

Just leave it as an unforgettable fragment.

-mikael kobe

[xpresshiit]

Hug Me+

The scenery between us is fading in color.

I think that’s what makes me lonely.

But I don’t know why I feel lonelier.

There’s no need to wish to be you.

There’s no need for you to wish to be me.

I can feel your heart through your breath.

It’s alright.

I already know that you had a day that’s hard enough.

You’ve done well.

I’ll hold you.

And please, hold me too; just hold me a little.

Just once, even for only ten seconds, please do hug me.  

So that you could know me without me saying it.

The scenery between us is fading in color.

I know this would be the last time, so please do hug me.

-mikael kobe

+my comeback after eight months+

[xpresshiit]

Please notice me kahit famous ka.

Yo. Sorry for the late reply. I’ve been 8 months away from tumblr. But thanks for the inbox 😊 I’m not famous tho, just DM me if you want to and I’ll reply ASAP+

[xpresshiit]

compare the one you love and the moon.

Yo. I’ve been 8 months away from tumblr. Sorry for the late reply tho. But thanks for the inbox. You made me remember one of the writings i had before about a special someone and the sky where moon, sun, stars and clouds are. I’ll look for it first then post it once i found it ASAP+

[xpresshiit]

Hiiii talk to me hehe

Yo. I’ve been 8 months away from tumblr. Sorry for the late reply tho. But thanks for the inbox. You can DM me anytime, I’ll reply ASAP+

[xpresshiit]

Bakit iniwan niya ko ng wala man lang paalam? -💔

Yo. I’ve been 8 months away from tumblr. Sorry for the late reply tho. But thanks for the inbox. I can help you and give some advice that might help you if you want, just DM me anytime, i’ll reply ASAP+

[xpresshiit]

Pwede po bang pagawa ng tulang makabayan? Plss :))

Yo. I’ve been away from tumblr 8 months. Sorry for the late reply + 😔