Poet/Songwriter

@xpressionsent

https://www.facebook.com/pages/XpressionsEnt/414273148745669 http://instagram.com/xpressionsent

752 posts

Does she take care of you? Does she make sure that you drink water because you love coca cola over anything? Does she cook for you? Does she ask how your day's been, or how you're feeling? Does she pray for you? Does she speak positivity and growth over you? Does she make you think and keep you on your feet? Could she ever love you better than me?

Last night I found myself praying.. Practically begging God to help me stop loving you. Missing you. I fell asleep with my hands clenched together and I wonder how did I end up here? When will my heart give up on you?

I sent you a message today. Even though I was feeling a thousand emotions at once, I kept it short and sweet. Three little words but not the words I wanted to say.

I wish I could've told you I loved you. 💔

Do you have any idea how many nights I've spent wrapped up in my sheets wishing it was your arms instead?

It's been so long that I've stopped counting the days. My hope is finally fading, but the love still remains. You still linger on my skin no matter how many times I've tried to scrub your fingerprints away. Your smile is still imprinted in my brain, our memories are still there to remind me. I live with all of this. I'm left with the harsh reality that this was probably never real to you. I have to face the truth, you don't care as much as I do. And that realization takes my breath away. I shudder at the thought that you no longer want me. I remember wishing for you to come back, now I'm just praying for peace. And strength. Courage. Because I know I'll be given another chance at love. I just always believed it'd be with you.

I saw a picture of you today. And as I was staring at your face, I seen all of my hopes and dreams yet greatest pain all at once. I wanted the ability to go back to the beginning so bad. Instead, I'm forced to embrace our ending. Smile and say "this is for the best." Tell my wildly beating heart no matter what she feels, you are not the one. I looked at you and tried to push the longing out of my mind. It hurts like hell, you know? Finding the good in goodbye..

I had to look in the mirror and remind myself of my beauty. And strength. And wisdom. A little self love goes a long way..

New post up on my blog. I am so fed up. A lot of us are!

Like many others, I was completely outraged when I heard about the murder of George Floyd. I was just as heartbroken about Ahmaud Arbery.. A

I remember being silent. I stifled my voice as if I never knew words. I held everything in, so afraid that you'd leave. I didn't want to rock the boat, I didnt want to cause tidal waves.. I only wanted to float in your ocean. Go deep sea diving in your depths. I only wanted you. I pushed my needs to the side always putting you first.. To the point I began to forget about what I deserved. I no longer recognized the woman in the mirror so I had to do some soul searching and I found that my soul wasn't broken. Although you left and took most of me with you, I still have some good in me. I can still light up a room or two, I'm still beautiful. And worthy. Now that I've discovered my voice again, I haven't stopped speaking. I speak loud and proud, I no longer bite my tongue. I voice what I want. I'm done hiding my emotions for the sake of someone else's. I reflect on who I was then versus who I am now and I smile.. And I vow to never lose me again 🖤

I'm happy. I just know I'd be happier with you..

We may have ended. Time may have never been on our side.. but, we loved didn't we? We gave it all we had, right?

I waited. I stayed patient. Spending my days hoping.. Praying that the road you were on would lead you back to me. I played hide and seek with our memories just to have something to hold onto but even those faded away. It got to the point I wasn't sure why I wasted my time anymore. Our story was over. You had already left and you aren't coming back. I get it now..

I miss him. And there are days I want us to at least have a conversation but at this point, what would words do? It won't erase him leaving. It won't undo our ending. It won't change anything.. So, I stay silent. Hold it all in because some things are better left unsaid..

Any man can call you beautiful. That's not original.. But very few know how to make you feel beautiful. There's a difference.. And sometimes, I think men forget that.

Time has a way of mending most wounds.. But memories? They almost never fade..

https://rachelsis08.wixsite.com/wordswithrae/post/quarantine-reflect

New post up on my blog!!

Life doesn't stop moving, neither should you.. Don't wait around forever. The rain doesn't pour for nothing. With storms, comes growth. Always remember your worth. Keep moving forward, even if you stumble. And most importantly, love. Feel it. Become it. Spread it.

Poet/Songwriter @xpressionsent - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag