Quick Sparrowhawk because I’m re-reading Earthsea and I’m obsessed.
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@xuanjistic
Quick Sparrowhawk because I’m re-reading Earthsea and I’m obsessed.
i love you misfits, i love you accidental superpowers in the sewage, i love you teaming up together because weird things keep happening & its kinda getting in the way of their problems, i love you reluctant acquaintances to trusted friends, i love you there's no such thing as a nobody,
The Last Duel หงสาวดี ENGSUB - Links Masterpost
Official Logoless Uncut on OneD (Free from EP 1-4, needs subscription from EP 5-10)
Official Uncut on Youtube with English Subtitles Nekocaps (Available to directly select on Youtube if you have Nekocap extension installed)
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5
Episode 6
Episode 7
Episode 8
Episode 9
Episode 10
Unofficial Logoless Uncut on Pixeldrain (for downloading) (MP4s embed with English subs, has separate English subtitle files and Vietnamese subtitle files
Unofficial Logoless Uncut on Ok.ru (for streaming)
@xuanjistic @weiizhis you can find where to watch with subs here 🧘🏻♀️
also. still insane over the fact that Ouyang gambled the success of his plot on Esen's love and trust being strong enough not to question anything he does. and won.
that feeling when in theory you're a wealthy general and you could have a lot of independence but you still live at your best friend/crush/master's mansion whenever you're not on campaign with him. And then he moves out (to a neighbouring building) and leaves the whole residence to you (the air stil smells of him btw) and you can't help but feel as if you already lost him
happy pride month to my favourite misogynist <3 im glad u never had access to a podcast
This may be a poor interpretation but I'm gonna post it anyways.
Esen: man my brother sucks he's so femme I'm gonna hang out with my amazing perfect beautiful general that looks like a woman Ouyang instead.
Ouyang kills Esens dad.
Esen: man how could my brother do this I'm gonna go burn down his library.
Ouyang kills Esen.
Ghost esen: man how could my brother do this im gonna go haunt him to insanity.
love this tiny bit of foreshadowing
(SWBTS, ch. 9)
oh my god they got buried together and she's gonna remember their story. ohhhhhh im gonna be sick im genuinely crashing out ouyang and esen you deserved the world
i kinda see why Baoxiang was frothing at the mouth with jealousy over Esen bc the amount of times in this book where Ouyang goes ''oh no i'm so unworthy and terrible'' (either for conspiracy reasons or for flirting reasons. or both) and Esen replies ''noo that's so untrue you're the best, most competent person in the world. i believe in you'' is HUGE. now imagine witnessing that for 90% of your life. Baoxiang my guy i get you now
wang baoxiang hitting up ma xiuying post hwdtw :/
Anyone else out here thinking about the similarities between Zhu and Baoxiang and how those similarities were being observed by both Ouyang and Zhu
vs
I think Ouyang and Ayushiridara are such fascinating parallels when it comes to characters who are simultaneously gay and homophobic. Both of them are so repressed it’s bordering on self-harm, but it wasn’t until I read an essay* about how gay men’s yearning for masculinity and internalized homophobia are linked, that I realized how some their behaviors and the objects of their attraction contrast and mirror each other.
*Ruumiin ylittävä ääni by Tuomas Aitonurmi (sorry, there’s no english version)
The essayist talks about how some gay men view straight men as inherently more masculine than gay men, and fantasize about or pursue straight men because of it. And he argues that for many of these men, the fantasy of being with a straight, masculine man becomes a form of looking down on the perceived femininity of yourself as a gay man (and other gay men who are deemed as less masculine and thus less desirable).
The pattern of desiring a masculine, presumably straight man as a means of looking down on yourself is very clearly present in Ouyang’s yearning for Esen. Ouyang, who hates any trace of femininity both in himself and others to the point of misogyny, might love Esen for who he is, but he also yearns for that masculinity Esen has.
That is also why desiring Esen is so hurtful for Ouyang. Wanting to be like and wanting to have the ”purely masculine” Esen will always remind him of the shame of desiring another man, as well as the shame of always being incomplete in comparison to him.
Esen’s manliness and perceived heterosexuality are exactly what make him seem so unattainable yet desirable to Ouyang. The idea that in order to be masculine you also have to be heterosexual is also the reason why Ouyang can never truly admit his feelings towards Esen, let alone act on them, because that would emasculate both Esen and himself. Because masculinity and desire for other men, masculinity and tenderness between two men simply cannot coexist on Ouyang’s mind.
Then, as a twisted funhouse mirror for Ouyang, we have Ayushiridara, whose internalized homophobia and self-hatred can be seen in the way he treats Baoxiang.
Ayushiridara is very deep in the closet, and tries to act as masculine as possible so others wouldn’t view him as queer or effeminate. He is simultaneously repulsed by and attracted to Baoxiang, who represents everything Ayushiridara wants to suppress in himself.
In public, he makes a show to mock Baoxiang in order to distance himself from any resemblance to him. Even in private, he verbally and physically tries to keep up that distance to make it clear that he is not like Baoxiang. He literally leaves Baoxiang bruised when they have sex in a desperate attempt to display his manliness. It’s an act of punishing Baoxiang for daring to be effeminate and openly admitting his desire for men.
But him treating Baoxiang this way also reads as an act of Ayushiridara hating and punishing himself for being similar to Baoxiang and desiring him. Every time he says something hateful to Baoxiang, it feels like he is also talking about how much he hates himself, but cannot really even admit having those qualities that Baoxiang openly displays.
Soo tl;dr: Ouyang is a toxic masc4masc bc he hates himself, while Ayu seeks out twinks to berate them because he hates himself? Thanks for coming to my ted talk etc
(ps I’m not a gay man nor a gender studies scholar so please let me know your takes on this and feel free to expand on this topic!!)
throwback to my very first radiant emperor art. Plot relevant yuri win and yaoi fail <3
Other kids have The Talk but Eun-ha is going to be sat down someday and her parents will try to explain why her and her dad's names changed when she was six and how grandpa was a serial killer
realizing now that the reason all the kiss scenes have been so beautiful in lovely runner is because it’s the same director as flower of evil
like checks out checks out
being a fan of flower of evil means fucking hating moojin because he’s a useless weirdo then deciding he’s funny sometimes until finally you realize he’s the only normal person in this goddamn show and that’s honestly really sad