DAMAGED;

always think twice, never seen someone so innocent fail to be so nice. *under co.

[xvexation]

Where you @

In la la land, constantly wanting to come back to this RP

[xvexation]

"I'm sorry, is this sharing time?" Gray had heard that people come to the bar to rant about their problems, share feeling and all of that. But honestly, he just wanted to drink. Preferably alone. If he wasn't stuck on some stupid buiness trip, he would be in the comfort of his home. "No offense, really, I'm sure your problems are one-in-a-million fucking precious, but frankly no one gives a damn."

[xvexation]

He’d been pacing so long, he was starting to leave a mark on the floor. his hands fiddling, nervous. this was not a gray thing to do, in fact, he rather be plucking his hairs out one by one instead of standing in the room. “I’ve been lying awake, driving myself crazy thing about you. ---- i made a mistake when I let you go.”

[xvexation]

reverse starter call

[xvexation]

  ----"That was such a bullshit question." his eyebrows were drawn together, maybe it was the bitter taste of alcohol that hadn't yet caused that familiar numbness, or maybe they were just bad at this. nevertheless, he took another swig of his beer, body turning to face them. "When someone says ask me anything, you don't start of with basic things like 'what is your favorite color' or some shit like that."

[xvexation]

like for a lyric starter, length may vary

[xvexation]

disapprcve:

A soft sigh left her lips as the other spoke. “I don’t expect you to trust me right away. It’ll take time but perhaps you’ll feel relieved telling me whatever is on your mind.” Juliette flashed him a small smile. “When you’re here in front of me you’re a person, not a prisoner like out there.” She shrugged. “You seem tired, Gray. Have you been sleeping well lately?”

You’re a person, not a prisoner. Those were words he never thought would be directed towards him. He wanted to protest, to say he didn’t belong here, but he didn’t have that right anymore. “Forgive me if I sound rude here, but if you really think sleeping in prison is an option, you might want to get a new job.” ---- “When you’ve done the things I’ve done, you don’t just get to sleep.”

[xvexation]

deadrosesindie:

“Freeloader’s realistic, resourceful’s kind of.. idealistic, Gray.” She let out a short laugh, though. The thought of the whole thing that had happened seemed kind of funny now. She’d been used.. for her money, but still. She’d been used. Luna was usually the one that did the using. “You are.. ridiculous,” she chuckled, shaking her head at him. Luna shrugged. “Guess i’ll never know now, which is probably better than actually finding out she does have a weird collection of beanie babies.” Her eyes rolled, a smile on her face, though. “You’re fucking gross, actually. I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear any of that."

“I feel like you were being really sweet just now, but totally in a way that I should be offended.” He smiled. He couldn’t help but somewhat feel bad, he knew what it was like to be used, and most of the time it didn’t come out in his favor. However, it had become a part of his normal route more than anything, taking it as a ‘it’s just life’ kind of statement. “Can you imagine? Like you’re doing some freaky hot sex stuff with the beady little eyes of those things just -- watching. The sound of my camera faintly in the background, you know that might actually make some money. Do you still have her number?” Part of him was joking, part.”It’s not fucking gross. Is this a form of kink shaming because I will make a Facebook hate page.”

[xvexation]

lcvegames:

          this was definitely a nightmare. it had to be. there were so many thoughts running through ellie’s mind at this point and she didn’t know what she was supposed to do. and it looked as if he was as surprised and shocked just as she was a moment ago. “yeah, right, i fucking wish,” she responded, running her hand through her hair nervously as she gazed at the other. “please don’t tell me you don’t remember a single thing,” she said, narrowing her eyes.

           his eyes squinted as he gave her a look, one of his most famous ones that went along the lines of ‘are you fucking kidding me?’. he didn’t really know how to feel at that very moment. he could be angry, which part of him was, or he could be rational, which is what he needed to be to remain calm. “do you think if i had any remembrance of last night we would be in this situation?!” part of that was true. yes, he did not remember what happened last night but no it wasn’t a shock for him. this wasn’t a first, but it was a sad day when gray couldn’t recall sex, even if it was with his best friends girlfriend.

[xvexation]

Gray had a friend. Now he would never say that aloud and he would never admit that something about that excited him but it was nice. A change that he never really saw coming in his life. Sure, he went out sometimes with his co-workers, getting a few drinks, talking about things that would usualy put Gray to sleep without alcohol, but there has never been a friendship or anything remotely close.

He was never really popular in highschool, most of his friends coming from his girlfriend at the time, who dissapeared along with her many years ago. He felt sort of proud of himself, allowing a smile to show for once as he sat along side his friend Scott. "She has like, five fuck buddies and I am not one of them. Even the weird guy with the unibrow." Gray was broadcasting some girl who was interning from his work, she had a name obviously, but he was never too good at those. "I'm just saying we both have shit reputations, I don't really see the problem."

[xvexation]

Gray sat across form Megan, knee jumping, fingers drumming against fingers. He was trying to think something to share, knowing good and well the counselor was watching from a uncomfortable distance. Due to a incident at her office, Gray was now required to take anger management courses if he wanted to keep his job. Although he once told himself he would never step foot in one of these place, his job was the only stable thing in her life, and sometimes a little bit of stability could go a long way.

They had been doing this for about a week now. It felt like he was in high school again, where they sign you up with a random partner. Apparently it was suppose to be a huge help, that getting to know peers who were having the same problems would be insightful and life changing. Gray didn’t see that, and honestly he just wanted his cute little token to give to his boss and get back to a normal schedule.

“I went out drinking?” It was more of a question than a confession. It was weird -- drinking was his usual, his normal, his favorite form of drug but yet somehow everyone pins it to the root of all of his problems. That was far from the case but he didn't mind using it for an excuse, if it made since to the people around him, why let out the real underlying reason? 

“It was just me. I use to go with a few guys from work but -- that’s changed.” Of course Megan knew why he was here, it was the very first discussion they had, a must coming from the counselor, just like he knew why she was there. And honestly, when you looked at her, you’d never tell she would fall in the category as Gray, She looked so sweet, kind, innocent. Something so far from him, it was a little bit scary to think about.

"On the plus side, I haven't had any episodes, haven't had much to get angry over." ------ "You know they act like it's an everyday thing, like I amcomstantlymad at the world. That's not the case, people do stupid shit, it makes me mad. Maybe I have a few more buttons than others but, come on, I'm not a threat." But the thing is, he could be. Not really to others, but to himself. If he were honest, sometimes it scares him how bad his life had gotten. One giant mistake after the other, and all for a reason that most people would laugh at. The truth was, once you started sprialing out of control, sometimes you couldn't stop.

[singfromthesea]

reblog if you would ship with more than one muse on a multimuse.

i’ve never been really sure if people are okay with multiple ships with multiple characters on a multimuse blog and i wish this were more common :-/

[xvexation]

mclliflvous:

Brooke was still petrified, she was petrified of this outcome, she was petrified of what had happened. The poor girl was still in shock but her shaking had calmed down, she wasn’t as nervous as she was, but she was still scared. But who was this man who basically saved her life? He still put her in danger and she hated him for that, she hated how he put a gun to her back, she hated how she was used as bait. She just hated this whole situation. The small girl just wanted to go home and curl up with her dog. And when he told her that she could go home tomorrow made her heart skip a beat, made her slightly more happier.

         “When will this calm —”

Her sentence was cut short when she heard police sirens, ambulance sirens. It only made the girl more scared - that could have been her in there. That could have been her laying on that floor, lifeless. But here she was, saved by this mysterious man who stood before her.

         “I - I uh.”

Brooke stammered. She wanted to be safe, she wanted to get away from everything but could she really trust him? Could she go to his and be safe? While thinking about this, her blue eyes wandered up to his to see him already staring. Why? Did she have something on her face? Of course, her mascara and eyeliner had probably slightly smudged. The blonde wiped the mess away and sighed. But before she could answer him, she got a real good look of him. He had honey brown eyes, a slight button nose, he was very cute but she wasn’t allowed to think that. She wasn’t supposed to. Snapping out of her trance and thought, she nodded her head.

         “Please, I want to be safe.”

Something about those words caused him to stop. Stop thinking, stop wondering, stop noticing what was going on around them. He realized, he wanted that too. He wanted her to be safe, and maybe that was something he wanted all along. Was for her to feel safe, but more importantly, feel safe with him. He nodded, he wanted her to know that she would be.

         “You will be, I promise.”

He never promised. The whole saying ‘promises are meant to be broken’ close to his heart. But he willed himself to believe it, that she would be alright. He reached, gently this time as he took her hand. He didn’t want her to be scared of him anymore, didn’t want to portray what he truly was. A form of a monster who felt like he was just doing what he had to. 

         “Come on, keep your head down and do not look up for anything.”

Gray took no time, knowing that if he didn’t act fast it would be too late and he would find himself getting into a lot of trouble. He knew a short cut, filled with alleyways and dark places that not even he wanted to be, but he had to learn the ropes, had to put aside silly fears and embrace what was in front of him. He made sure that he walked a little slower than normal once he felt like they were out of the clear. All of the running in her heels, he knew that couldn’t be pleasant. 

         “It’s not far, promise.”

And there was that word again, haunting him in the back of his head as they reached a place that was sadly his apartment. It wasn’t bad, but it had never been the best. Working a not too high of a paying job regularly, this was enough for him though. It was comfort.

[xvexation]

deadrosesindie:

“Is this your way of telling me that you’re also a freeloader,” she joked. “Like, it’s just–maybe next time don’t ask me out? It’s that simple, isn’t it?” Luna didn’t agree with deception, which was exactly what happened to her. She’d never been on a date with anyone for free food and nothing else, that wasn’t a position she’d put herself in. “This makes me want to stop seeing girls altogether, they suck.” She was all for empowering women, but she could empower them and not date them. She smiled at him, nodding slowly. “Okay, yes, you’re right. I was too good for her, anyway.” Luna let out another laugh, louder this time. “You’ll wanna watch even if my next date’s a guy?”

“Okay, freeloader is harsh. I like to see it as resourceful.” It would be a joke, but sadly it wasn’t. Sometimes the boy just couldn’t help how his mind worked, it was constantly a struggle. He nodded as he listened, he could agree, but if he did he’d be such a hypocrite. Now he was a lot of things, but he tried not to be that. “Maybe that’s a good idea, and hey if they suck, send them my way. I need a little spice in my life.” Again, not a joke, but he laughed at it anyway. “What if she had a weird collection of beanie babies, you’ve got to think about stuff like this, you’re better off.” He gave her a genuine smile before it turned to a slight frown. He tilted his head, pondering. “I mean, it’d just be like live porn right? Would that be weird? I’m backing out of this conversation before I say too much.”

[xvexation]

perceptiicns:

“ if my drunken memory serves me correct, you said that i could come to you whenever i needed you. ’ no matter the time ’, i didn’t realize you had business hours that i had to fit between. ” she rambled on drunkenly with her eyes half lidded, one hand holding her head and the other gripping onto the door frame for dear life. “ i think someone put something in my drink…i didn’t know who else to go to… ”

he wanted to argue, but she had a point and although it would be so easy to close the door and walk away, he couldn’t bring himself to do so. he sighed, holding his hand out for help. “get your ass inside before you fall and severely hurt yourself.” it was weird when gray had a heart, but there was a bond here, something he hadn’t experienced before and when he heard he reasoning of being as drunk as she was, he couldn’t help but feel angry, “what do you mean? who were you hanging around?” he knew his questions weren’t helping, but he had to get to the bottom of it, it was his nature.

[disapprcve-archive]

OPEN | prisoners

Juliette loved her job. Trying to comfort prisoners and make sure they could tell their story in trust. At a certain point, though.  “How have you been doing lately? I’ve heard you tried to cancel our meetings. Why’s that? You know you can trust me, right?”

[xvexation]

Gray had gotten himself into some trouble. He knew what he was doing, knew what had to be done. Getting caught was never a plan, but he had come to terms with the consequences. “Listen lady, I don’t mean to be rude but trust is no longer in my vocabulary. I’ve come to terms with everything --- I just want to live my sentence out.”

[xvexation]

silentiumxamoris:

Loki saw the nearly empty bottle of vodka but they had helped him along with that. Just a little though, he’d done the most damage to it. “Yeah I’m sort of figuring that I fell asleep and I’m dreaming this whole entire thing up.” Did that stop them from wrapping their arm around Gray and getting more comfortable themselves. “I promise I won’t breathe a word of this to anyone, won’t let your rep get ruined or whatever. But uh, maybe you want me to get you put into bed? It’s probably more comfortable than my bony ass.”

Gray huffed out a laugh at the comment. At the moment he felt like a dream, very comfortable in his place. He places his head against theirs, sighing. “My rep?” He repeated. He liked that, but more importantly, liked the fact that they knew the drill, that he didn’t have to explain himself to them. “I don’t know, your bony ass is kind of cute.” He mused with a smile. Alcohol, he agreed that it was all in the alcohol. “You’re right though, bed is more comfortable. I still expect this to continue though. I also don’t think moving my legs is a possibility.”