legend says

别再挣扎了 陷入温柔的泥潭

[xxafu]

— a-fu vs. sword

[xxafu]

xxmingyan‌:

[ --- ]  “ah. he escaped.” disappointment was barely an emotion that mingyan expressed, the disgust in her words easy enough to detect as the hooligan slipped away from beneath her sword and ran away, screaming on top of his lungs. that should teach him to respect a woman or two. mingyan preened to herself rather proudly, before turning almost vengefully at afu, glowering magnificently at the other male. “i was about to get information from him. you made me fail my mission.” her words were clipped as she resheathed her sword, the bells at her waist tinkling merrily. “what are you going to do about that?”

        he wags a finger in her face.  “pokin’ folks with swords ain’t gonna make ‘em talk.  trust me on this.”  not that he has ever threatened anyone with a sword for information -- he just felt like saying it so it gave him some merit, even though it’s feigned.  “what kinda info were you tryin’ to get outta him, anyway?  stuff ‘bout the demons?”  y’know, what they’ve been instructed to find out.  

        bloody hand and all, he slings an arm around her shoulders.  “i’ve heard many things,”  he says, steering her pointedly away from the crime scene, seeing that people are still looking in their direction.  “someone at the pub . . . or maybe it was the brothel---but someone in one of those places was sayin’ somethin’ ‘bout this huge creature.  somethin’ called a phoenix or somethin’ ‘long those lines.  never heard of that, we don’t have those over at the mounds, but i figured it looks somethin’ like a huge rodent with beady eyes an’ long buckteeth.”

         to their left, someone scoffs.  it’s a fair maiden, as youthful as mingyan, but without accessories and a sword.  “don’t listen to him,”  she says as she whisks by, robe fluttering behind her to make a statement.  “it’s just pub talk.”

         “pub talk?”

         she pauses in her step, then turns around.  “what you’re going on about.  and what the other guy---”  she tilts her head in the direction the other man had run off to.  “---would’ve told you, had you asked.  if you’re really here to help us, then get your information straight.”

         a-fu blinks.  looks at mingyan, then looks back at the other woman.  “sooo this means you know what’s up with this phoenix-rodent thing?”

         the woman purses her lips, looks between the two again, then rolls her eyes.  “first of all, a phoenix isn’t a rodent . . .”

[xxafu]

— a-fu vs. sword

here’s a list of things a-fu can do really well:

drink ( a lot )

take ( a lot of ) pain

try to be ( a lot like ) a hero

        and when all three things are combined, chaos typically ensues in some form.  on the menu today:  stopping a sword from nearly poking a man to death.

        “whoa whoa whoawhoawhoa!”

        he grabs @xxmingyan​‘s sword with his bare hand, willing it to stay stagnant.  the blade pierces his palm, and though he flinches, the pain is -- surprisingly -- not too bad.

        “you can’t do that.  it’s sharp, y’know?  this blade.  it can hurt people.”  though he says this, he doesn’t let go -- not when the blood begins to drip from his fingers, not when more heads turn to look.  “you don’t wanna hurt people, right?  hurtin’ people’s bad.  like they’ll turn into a vengeful ghost an’ haunt you bad.”

        he looks at her now.

        ( familiar -- she looks familiar. )

        he looks to the other.

        “what goes on ‘tween you two?”

[xxafu]

— a-fu vs. cat

[xxafu]

xxjianglian‌:

      “i don’t think that this is the right situation..”  

       lian doesn’t really see the appeal of dying so young and for no apparent reason. like yes, he know wei wuxian hurled himself off a cliff to save the world, but like the appeal is lost on lian. he supposes it’s becuase he actually has a survival instinct himself or maybe it simply doesnt appeal to him because he has an image of the way he’d die. maybe protecting his loved ones from something.  that would be the way he’d like to go out, and then maybe become a ghost and listen to how he saved his clan or his loved ones. that would be ideal. 

        he decides to indulge this crazy guy. a shield? wow, what was this cray guy on? ah, but the wei sect was a bunch of weirdos so he wasn’t too surprised. he was about yto say something when he’s shoved towards the cat, who in surprise jumps back, back arched and tail bristling. lian hears the other exclaim to grab the treasure and he takes the invitation and then picks up the cat, allowing the cat to wrestle in his arms for a few moments and then calm down and relax itself in lian’s arms. 

       “how did your invitation end up under this precious furball?” he asks, handing the invitation to the crazy male, and cooing at the cat, petting the ears and the head, hearng purrs. “this precious bundle of cute wouldn’t hurt a fly, let alone steal an invite,” lian adds. 

        most people  ( read: all people )  tend to think of him as the crazy guy, and sure, that may or may not be true most of the time  ( read: all of the time ),  but there’s definitely something really reallyyy strange about this guy, if he thinks the demon reincarnation is a ‘precious bundle of cute who wouldn’t hurt a fly’ -- as if!!!

        “don’t let it fool ya,”  a-fu says slowly, tentatively.  his eyes fixate on the small feline, watching it as it watches him.  he doesn’t get it at all!  yes, he’ll admit that cats are really cute, but this cat also has the look of evil in its eyes, and he simply cannot fathom why this man can’t see that.

        he inches closer, almost as if he’s the prey that’s trying to sneak out in front of a sleeping predator.  “it may be cute an’ small an’ look virtually harmless . . . but it did this to me!”  in one dramatic motion, he sticks a hand up in the air and drags down his sleeve to reveal three long scratch marks.  “the culprit . . . is right there in your arms!!”  he points at the cat’s nose.  naturally, the cat hisses and a-fu jumps back.  “it’s a demon, i’m tellin’ ya.”

        and juuust as he says that, the cat leaps out of the stranger’s arms and in a-fu’s direction.  a-fu screams like a lil bitch.

[markumb]

「older brother. 」

[xxafu]

jingyunxx‌:

“Here, this is for you.” He extended his hand, revealing a still warm bun resting on parchment. “I overheard that you didn’t get enough to eat at dinner.”

Jingyun didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but his hearing really improved after the incident three years ago. Though he was sitting at the Lan sect table with other inner disciples, he was still able to hear a voice whining in the distance: A-Fu is hungry~

The voice was semi high pitched and sort of child-like. Besides, no grown adult would refer to themselves by their pet name, which A-Fu definitely sounded like.

An image formed in his head, featuring a young disciple in his early teens, sort of like how Xiaoyu was when they first met. His vivid imagination prompted him to go to the kitchen after dinner and ask for a bun from the cook, who was cleaning up. He’d hid it up his sleeve and asked around for this A-Fu. Took a while, but he found him in the end.

“It’s okay to take it,” he said, when the bun was not immediately snatched up. “I know how hard it is for a growing boy to restrain himself according to the three bowls regulation.” Jingyun paused, considering his next words carefully before continuing in a whisper. “I won’t tell the sect leader and get you in trouble, A-Fu didi.”

         a-fu is about this 👌 close to crying!  no, seriously!!  

        after being sober and starved for two days  ( two whole days!!! ),  he was absolutely certain that he’d shrivel and die here.  and knowing exactly how the lans uphold themselves in society, he’s super sure that they would make it look like an accident, and no one would think much of it, because they would think that he had gotten drunk and fallen off a cliff or something, and that it would be his own fault for being stupid, and yeah, maybe some stupidity would be involved, but that doesn’t make it any more okay for the lan sect to cover him up!!

        paranoia aside, a-fu’s about to marry this kid.  or convert to the religion of jingyunism.  a steamed bun?  snuck right out of the kitchen just for little ol’ a-fu?  “you’re my hero!!”  he nearly tackles the younger to the ground out of glee.  fortunately, he doesn’t make that big of a scene and instead, snatches the bun from the other’s grasp, giving it a huge smooch.

        okay, maybe he is crying a little.

        “it’s so good,”  comes muffled praise, which sounds a lot like baby babble, but surely, jingyun gets him.  “i literally thought i was gonna starve an’ die an’ then you’d hafta cover up my sudden death.  i mean, c’mon, three bowls?  what kinda rule is that!  oh oh oh, is it ‘cause, if ya eat too much, your head gets bigger, an’ then the headband wouldn’t fit ‘round your head?”  he chokes at the sudden realization.

        actually, though.

        he’s choking.

        please save him.

[xxafu]

— a-fu vs. common sense

[xxafu]

xxmiaoming‌:

[ ✂ - - - ]  Ming chooses not to say anything, he watches as the male touches the dead body and asks to what happened. He watches for a bit, rumbles shortly and thinks hard, then decides, if the stranger already for some reason believes he’s a woman, he’ll go with that. He lets out a cough, and then makes his voice higher, fitting to the voice of Yi, a female “he’s dead” he answers back, crounching down like the other.

     “If you want to know the reason why I’d suggest asking them yourself, I don’t know why”

        a-fu is about this close to actually taking the girl’s advice and asking the dead man himself what happened---but then he realizes that the dead man is, well, very much dead and won’t be able to answer him.  so naturally, a-fu starts to make assumptions.  first assumption is that the man died from self-infliction, and this poor, innocent, young maiden just so happened to run into him.  second assumption is that the man was murdered, and this poor, innocent, young maiden just so happened to run into him.  third assumption is that this poor, innocent, young maiden  ( okay, we get it )  killed him.

        surely.

        surely surely surely,

        it can’t be the third one.  this maiden is too pretty and too pure to do something as awful as slitting a man’s throat.

        so it must be either of the first two assumptions.  probably more-so the second one than the first, seeing that there isn’t a bloody sword laying around.  that means only one thing . . .  “there’s a murderer among us.”  he says this a bit too seriously, a bit too creepily, almost as if he knows the truth.  what he says next does not help him any:  “we’ll give him a proper burial.”

        he crouches down next to the man’s head, his eyes narrowing on the wound.  it’s a bit fresher than expected -- but he doesn’t dwell on it.  instead, he reaches underneath to lug the man up by the armpits.  he then raises his chin to indicate the man’s legs.  “let’s move him over there.”  his head cranes toward the forest.

[xxafu]

— a-fu vs. cat

[xxafu]

xxjianglian‌:

    confusion colors his face. lian is not really the antics type but he was holding a bottle of emperor’s smile on his sword which he is planning to drink just outside, so that he can still be drunk but nor get into any trouble for it. 

     lian watches the interaction for a few moments, just standing there. an eggplant for a piece of paper? and even the feline is adorable. the human….not so much but lian can appreciate the kitten. he watches the eggplant fly past him and he just blinks even more in confusion. 

      what? why? so many questions. 

      he keeps a laugh when the cat simply claws at the other male and just stands where he stands, watching him back up almost into him. lian tenses when the other clings to him and makes a point of prentending to think. 

    “that’s not a very nice offer. i don’t particularly enjoy dying.” he says, looking down at the man clinging to him. “bro, like i’ll help you out, but seriously, dying a hero…hmm…aint very tempting.” he says, staring at the cat. 

      “besides, it’s so cute. i can’t kill that.” 

        “who wouldn’t want to die a hero?”

        that’s something a-fu simply cannot understand.  it’s his dream to hurl himself off a cliff in order to save the entire world---granted, he’s not entirely sure how jumping off a cliff would do anyone good.  but he’s heard stories of their ancient sect leader, wei wuxian, doing that at some point -- and well, it must’ve been for a grand reason, right?  right.  so yes, hurling himself off a cliff, becoming a ghost, and listening in on everyone’s conversation talking about his adventures  ( maybe read from a book aptly titled a-fu’s adventures if anyone wants to write a biography, wink wink nudge nudge ).

        dreams aside, he still needs to get the invitation from this cat, and from the looks of it, this guy isn’t helping him.  he pushes himself off the ground and lets out a long puff of air.  “all righty.  here’s the plan.  listen closely, ‘cause i’m only gonna say this once.  so right.  the plan.  what we’re gonna do.  we’re gonnaaaaaaa -- you’re gonna be my shield.  and i’ll just stand here behind you like so---”  he steps behind jiang lian and peeks around, eyes narrowing on the cat who’s still firmly rooted in place.  “and then weeeee---”

        without warn, he shoves the man toward the cat.

        it works.  the cat jumps back, its back arched, its tail bristling.  the invitation is now unguarded.

        “QUICK!  GRAB THE TREASURE!”

[xxafu]

— a-fu vs. eternal rival

        a cultivator walks into a bar.  it’s a-fu.  he’s the joke.

        okay, jokes aside -- he actually does walk into a bar.  or rather, he crashes in and announces his arrival with a rather obnoxious declaration that he’ll buy everyone a drink if and only if they can guess what happened to his left hand.

        only thing is, he doesn’t give anyone the chance to guess.  he’s got the attention span of a goldfish  ( not you, xiaoyu ),  and the moment his eyes zoom in on a familiar face, everything except for this particular person becomes meaningless.

        “XIAO JIAN!”

        before he can even process it, he already has his sword out and pointed at @xxxiaojian​.  “we haven’t settled our score.”  ah, yes.  they were once two young rivals fighting for the crowd’s loudest cheers.  that was, of course, five years ago.  or ten.  or fifteen.  ( time flies when you’re having fun hee! )

        “hey hey hey, whaddaya waitin’ for?  draw your sword already.”

[xxafu]

— a-fu vs. common sense

        it’s a complete and utter accident that a-fu ends up traveling solo.  ( then again, everything he does in life is a complete and utter accident, including being born. )  see, on the day the wei disciples disembarked for cloud recesses, a-fu was chasing butterflies.  quite literally.  granted, he’d been chasing butterflies two days prior to departure and had gotten lost, thus why he didn’t make it back on time.

        the sect leader, always an enigma in her own right, laughed in his face then chastised him for being irresponsible.  she then ushered him off, telling him to fly east so he could catch up with the others.  and a-fu did precisely that.  with feet firmly planted on his sword, he took off . . . only to come to a startling realization, a few minutes later, that he didn’t know which way was east.

        and so that brings him here, on foot, wandering aimlessly through in hopes of running into some disciple heading in the same direction.

        he runs into a pretty lady.

        he gleams.

        “pretty missus!  pretty missus!  over here!”  he waves frantically as he jogs up to @xxmiaoming.  “pretty miss---oh, beautiful missus!”

        the stars have aligned, and fate is real.

        and then his eyes drop to the crumpled figure on the ground.  that’s an odd position to sleep in.  wait.  he crouches down and sticks a finger underneath the man’s nostrils.  oh, shit.  “what happened?”

[xxafu]

— a-fu vs. cat

        a-fu is, once again, back to his usual bullshit.  and this time, it involves a missing invitation, a feral cat, and -- to top it all off -- a half-eaten aubergine.  

        he’s crouched in the middle of the road, ironically having a stand-off with this prissy feline, whose paw rests firmly on a piece of parchment that it clearly has no business guarding.  his eyes narrow.  the cat’s eyes narrow back.  he reaches for the invitation.  the cat bares its fangs and hisses.  he draws back and takes another bite of the aubergine, raw, then raises it tauntingly in the air.

        “not givin’ this to ya ‘til you gimme that first.”

        the cat doesn’t budge.

        neither does he.

        okay, fine.  time to do this the hard way.  tossing the bartering item away, a-fu flings himself at the cat.  naturally, he gets clawed in the face.  and naturally, he flies back five feet​, coddling his cheek and looking as if he’s been slapped by the devil himself.  the cat steps in his direction, murder in its eyes.  a-fu peddles back, far until the back of his head hits something.  he looks up.

        a live sacrifice!

        “bro.”  he latches onto @xxjianglian’s lower half.  “bro bro bro bro bro, how would you like to die a hero?”  he juts his thumb in the direction of the cat, then in a loud whisper:  “i need that treasure it’s guarding.”

[xxafu]

hello adventurers , i clowned and never made an intro post for a-fu

born from a father from the wei sect & a mother who sells bitter melon in town.  she is not cultivator and not involved in this world at all, and a-fu will do WHATEVER!!  he can to make sure she keeps out of harm’s way

so basically feel free to kill her

father was involved in researching the yang iron but then he mf died.... a-fu has his notes...... suddenly he cannot read

he literally showed up @ the wei sect with six things of emperor’s smile and was like whaddup pls take me in im bored.  the sect leader at the time found him amusing so she was like yea buddy lets get it, but u gotta give me four of those jugs

personality-wise, he literally acts like he’s drunk all the time, saying stuff no one really understands?? lest care about??? he’s a big gossiper and would exaggerate the h*ck out of all his stories & any rumors he hears

he has no left hand and has peach fuzz for hair ( see icon )

and this is bc the wei sect has 1 rule and that rule is don’t use wwx’s flute for evil ( and wwx made sure of that by putting a curse on it !! )

well once upon a time, a-fu came across an acquaintance who started to play sum evil music on the flute

and a-fu, being a stupid ass gryffindor, reached out and grabbed the flute to stop him but ALAS the curse destroyed the acquaintance and began eating at his hand

other members saw him with no hand & the flute and was like YOU DARE?!?!  he’s not kicked out bc sect leader believes him but ppl are like HMMM sus

bc he’s dramatic as hell, he shaved off his head and was like lmao i got kicked out!!!! don’t listen to him

ok but long story aside, he’ll always lie and tell diff ridiculous stories of how he lost his hand ranging from “i sat on it too long” to “a chicken pecked it off” no where near the truth.  also he likes ppl rubbing his head.... 

he’s got high alcohol tolerance & high pain tolerance so u can imagine the stupidity thats engraved into his very core

[xxafu]