pillow talk. (ooc reading)
November 14th, 2009 — New York, New York
Calloused hands latched onto the woman’s waist. His broad body hovered over hers, immediately shielding her from the cold air emitting from the nearby AC. Leoni’s teeth sank into her bottom lip as Jaden pressed his lips into the crook of her neck. The ticklish feeling of his beard scratching against her skin caused her to giggle.
“What’s so funny?” Jaden chuckled, leaning on his elbow to look at her. “Nothing,” she said, her lips forming into a shy smile.
A Bryson Tiller song, “For However Long”, played throughout the room. She brought his face up to hers and kissed him with fervor. His tongue swept the inside of her cheek as she locked her hands around the base of his neck. He unbuttoned her jeans and pulled them off, tossing them onto the dorm room floor. Jaden leaned back down and kissed her, knotting his hand in her curly mane.
He got up and turned off the overhead light, then turned on the Christmas lights that decorated his headboard. Soft red hues formed around his silhouette as he began to take off his pants.
“Why are you taking off your pants?” she asked, pantless herself. He looked at her with confusion written on his face and his pants halfway down his legs.
“Why are you taking off your pants?” she asked again, enunciating each word with an incredulous chuckle.
“I’m not having sex with you.” She watched as the gears began to turn in Jaden’s head and he recalled their last conversation with a groan.
“I forgot you’re a virgin. Fuck.”
He sighed, pulled his pants back up and walked back towards the bed. He laid beside her and caressed the side of her face, searching her eyes.
“You know you don’t have to be scared around me, right?” he asked.
“I’m not scared,” she responded looking down at her intertwined hands. “I’m apprehensive. Plus, we don’t even know each other like that and I’m waiting for the right person, remember?”
“Apprehensive?” Jaden let out a chuckle. “Whatchu been doing, reading a dictionary and shit?”
“Shut up,” she laughed, playfully hitting him across his chest.
He gently grabbed her wrist before she could pull away. He studied her manicured digits, twisting the rose gold ring that sat on her right index finger. The mood in the room shifted from lighthearted to serious in a second, and Leoni held her breath in anticipation of what he was going to say next.
“Seriously, though. Why do you feel like that?” Jaden asked, his face scrunched up in question.
She let out the breath she’d been holding and thought about her answer. Here she was, sitting across from the boy she had fantasized about since the first time they made eye contact two months ago, the same boy who was known across campus for his conquests. Leoni didn’t know how they ended up in their current situation so fast, but she didn’t regret it nonetheless.
“Honestly, I feel like you’re going to hurt me,” she said. “I mean, I’m just a freshman. The new girl. You’re a junior, and…”
“And you think I’m gonna play you,” he finished her sentence.
Leoni shrugged her shoulders and bit her bottom lip, looking at Jaden as he was deep in thought.
He flipped over onto his back and stared at the ceiling for a moment, gathering his thoughts.
“So why can’t we have sex again?” he asked innocently, looking at her as she leaned her back against his headboard.
Leoni threw her head back and laughed heartily. “I already told you, idiot. I’m waiting for the right person, and you don’t know me like that.”
“So? You don’t know me like that, yet you’re sitting here in just a t-shirt and underwear in my bed.”
“So? That doesn’t mean you have to put your dick in me, sweetheart.”
“Alright, alright.” He sighed, tucking his face into the crook of his elbow.
They laid there for a few seconds as Jaden’s Bryson Tiller playlist filled the silence.
“The right person. Yeah alright,” his muffled voice sounded against the duvet. He sat up and reached for Leoni’s hand, drawing patterns against her palm. “What does that even mean?”
“Um, well…” A breeze blew through the open window and sent shivers up Leoni’s exposed thighs. She stretched her Michael Jackson t-shirt over her knees with her free hand. “It basically means that I’m waiting to have sex with someone I’ll feel secure with, yanno? Someone I could actually commit myself to, and who could commit themselves to me. Someone who’ll respect and value me as a human being, not just a piece of ass to add to their collection.”
He watched her speak from underneath his lashes, his eyes searching. He admired the spark that illuminated her eyes whenever she spoke of something she was passionate about.
Jaden leaned over and pressed his lips to hers, kissing her slowly and deliberately. “I could be the right person.”
“Like you said, I don’t know even you like that,” she spoke against his lips.
“So get to know me then.” Leoni rolled her eyes at his remark and he smirked. “I’m serious. You could be laying next to your future husband right now.”
“Whoa, alright. Relax,” she laughed.
“So you want to be in a committed relationship, basically, when you have sex.”
He laid on his back and adjusted her body so that she was laying her head on his chest, her legs draped across his and his hand grazing the small of her back. They sat there again, lost in their own thoughts. His rhythmic heartbeat almost lulled her to sleep. They laid there for the length of another Bryson Tiller song, Jaden playing in Leoni’s hair while she thought about how perfect this moment would be if they were two different people.
“Damn, I could be so good for you too..” she spoke quietly.
“But? I felt a but at the end there,” he responded, his eyes remaining on the ceiling.
“But I don’t think you actually know what you want.”
Almost immediately, he removed her arms and legs off of his body so that they were no longer touching. She immediately began to miss his warmth.
“Please, please tell me how you’d be good for me so I can hit you with some facts.”
“Well, I’d be loyal to you. I’d push you to be the best person you could be, the best student you could be. I’d motivate you. I would care for you, I would be honest with you, I’d lend you a listening ear whenever you needed one. Everyone needs at least one great listener in their life,” she replied. She hoped she had sold herself good enough. Leoni turned to him, eager to see his reaction.
Jaden absorbed this information, nodding his head and staring at the Christmas lights, his body angled towards her.
“I know what I want. I want a relationship. I do. I basically want the same thing you want, to feel secure with somebody that I know got me. I learned a lot about myself in my last relationship, and I learned what I really want and what I don’t want. See, my ex, she cheated, and that was my first love and my first heartbreak. But now I know myself better because of it… I really do. And I know I talk shit on Twitter about having hoes and shit, but really I just want to be tied down. And like, people think that because I talk shit on Twitter that I’m a dickhead all the time, when really I’m a nice guy, and I act completely different around girls and girls I like. My boys are always like, ‘Oh wow, who are you?’ once they actually see me around someone I want to connect with. But people just never see that side of me for some reason; they only see the ‘ain’t shit nigga.’ And yeah, I call myself that, but only because it’s like, if I own it already, when people call me ‘ain’t shit,’ then it won’t hurt as bad, because I’ll just be like, ‘Yeah, I know. That’s me.’ Even though it does hurt. ‘Cause I don’t really think I’m not shit… I think I’m a pretty cool guy. But yeah. I know what I want. Don’t ever think I don’t.” He drew in a breath after he was done rambling.
She waited a beat to make sure he was done talking.
“Sorry. Once I start talking, it’s hard for me to stop,” he said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.
“No, no! It’s okay. I wanted you to open up and now you have,” she replied, cuddling up closer to him and laying her head back on his chest.
“So you want a relationship that has sex?” she asked.
“I mean, yeah. Everything you said you wanted sounds great and all, and I do want that too.. but I like sex,” he scoffed.
“Why is sex so high on the list of things you want in a relationship?” she squinted, trying hard to understand his perspective.
“It’s really not, to be honest. It’s around number six on my list of things I want in a relationship. But it’s still there.”
“So you wouldn’t be able to wait like I am?”
“Absolutely not,” he laughed. She stopped talking for a minute, rolling this newfound information around her head. He is not the one for me, she thought as he reached for his red fleece blanket and covered the both of them.
“What are you thinking about? Now I constantly want to know,” he asked, skimming his fingers across her spine.
“I like solving problems. And I’m trying to figure out how we could work together… even though we both want two different things.”
“Mmm.” He sighed and kissed her forehead, and they resumed their silent cuddle. As another Bryson Tiller song began, he squeezed her shoulder.
“I think I would be good for you too.”
They wanted the same things and completely different things all at once. Leoni closed her eyes and tried to remember the moment. She tried to remember the way his heartbeat felt against her cheek, the way his large hands fit into hers, the way he smelled like soap and boy and vaguely of home. She closed her eyes, ready to fall asleep on his chest. She sighed.
“If only we were two different people.” And he kissed her once more.
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