They say blogging helps to put out your feelings out there so might as well give it a try, this is my first time posting so forgive meā¦
This was their last fansign for Roar promotions, my french friend helped me get into this fansign by asking customers to buy albums and get a signed page so she was able to get 20 albums for me to try out, I was nervous knowing last fansigns always have higher risks of not getting in since many people will buy more just to get in, none the less we tried and I prayed hard to get in, when I found my name on the list itās a mixture of happiness and sadnessā¦happy because i got in sad because it might be the last time
The day of the fansign came 2 hour journey from seoul to daejeon, cold weather,hungry stomach and my depression on knowing this will be the last time I see them before I permanently go back home to the Philippines slowly starts to take its toll on meā¦.I already saw some familiar faces when I arrived at the venue some of my fansite friends were delighted to see me and even congratulated me that I got inā¦..
I got my number 55 which like 4th row from the stage I am not complaining anywhere I would be seated anyway since my goal is just to talk to them, make a last happy memory with each one of them, say my goodbyes and finish the fansignā¦.if this was any other ordinary fanmeeting or fansign I would be yelling a memberās name when he is vacant or make them do silly poses but I just stayed quiet in my seat waiting for my turnā¦I wanted to goof off with the members one last time that was my plan while getting the album signedā¦
As my number approaches nearer and nearer I made eye contact with my zuho friend fan I made a gesture that I think I am gonna cry and she was like why? and just said just becauseā¦.itās my lineās turn now and I stood up took the album and waited in cueā¦as I approach the fan staff to have my album checked she suddenly blurted outĀ ālast one ha?ā TRIGGERED I started crying in front of her she was gonna try to calm me down but it was already my turn so..
DAWON was first he asked right away why am I crying I jokingly told him itās because of the fan staff hahaha I told how jealous I am that he gets to work with Dara and Kim Sohye after that he comforted me and told me not to cry
YOUNGBIN next and our conversation just went about him not using his ad lib that he had during his rap part in roar like the one he did in the show champion comeback stage he said in the monitoring it didnāt look nice so he just kept the original choreography but I told him it looks really cool and he should do it again sometime
HWIYOUNG changed his hair and he asked which hairstyle I liked more the one he has now or the one before I said anything looks good on him and I had to explain why the album is not on my name because I was poor and stuff hahahaĀ
JAEYOON so yeah this is the part where I breakdown so bad coz he is my bias after all I just bowed my head and bawled my eyes out, everything in this moment is a blur I even donāt remember how I got to give him the headbandā¦he told me not to cry and that we will meet againĀ
TAEYANG as soon I sat down he asked me why I was crying I pointed at jaeyoon of course (jaeyoon tried to tell the fans I was crying but they thought he was making shy shy shy) I seriously forgot what I talked with taeyangĀ
ROWOON my lowkey 2nd favorite (always between him zuho and chani) he saw on the post it my question wasĀ āany last message for meā he saw the word last and asked me why I had to explain I was going home blah blah blah he erased the word last and it made me cry some more he was trying to console me and told me this is not the last time that we will meet again
INSEONG the mudafaka who teased me even more for crying he started singing an english song (ed sheeran song i think) to tease me more I was able to hold back my tears and we were able to talk about if he is still going to kyunghee (his uni) and he says he comes every now and then
CHANI I cried again and had to explain all the things again, that i am leaving soon and that this is not my album but my friendās customer I couldnāt remember our main topic though
ZUHO was the finale that made me cry like a bitch, while chani listens to my expalnation to zuho I couldnāt finish and started crying some more, I said sorry to zuho coz I wanted to make happy memories but ended up being like this in front of him, he said I shouldnāt be sorry and he was thankful for everything since pre-debutā¦I was ready to leave but he stood up too and escorted me to the exit (I was the only fan that day who had that zuho fan service)Ā
Because of the background music and the camera shutter sounds, no one knew I was crying up until the end but sf9, fanstaff and the girl after and before meā¦.I went immediately to the far back to let out some emotions, some fans followed me and started to fan coz they thought I was hyperventilating but I just cry that way sobbing like a bitch zuho grabbed the mic and told me to stop crying (uljima hyeong) the fans were giving me jaeyoon fans and told me to look at his haooy face printed on the fanā¦.
When I got a bit of a hold of myself I excused myself to the bathroomā¦I cried some more in the bathroom and 2 girls came knocking asking me if I was okay and that they canāt enter and comfort me since they are girlsā¦I went back took my camera from my friend and started taking pictures again,Ā
As the fansign comes to a close the only exit of the artist is to go through the seats going to the door behind us so naturally they will pass by us I was taking pictures and I was hoping jaeyoon would give me a glance or something but none but zuho yet again surprised since I was in the middle you have to go inside the row of our seats to get to me, he did that held my hand and thanked me for everything and told me good job for today
Sorry for my long ass post but finally i can put that past behind me and look forward to this comeback, I might be still able to do 3-4 weeks of easy love promotions with them so letās see what happens Ā
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