lonely

i forgot how to live

[yosloss]

hey!

my name is laura. i am 18. i am a genderfluid lesbian. yay! i use she/they/he pronouns. i love music and tv. i am sad and lonely. i will make a lot of shitty poem posts.

i will also reblog a lot of queer stuff. and arcane stuff. and sad stuff.

DNI: if you are hateful towards others on the basis of race, sex, gender, sexuality, religion, appearance. dni if your account is 18+. thanks!

[yosloss]

DEvils

And the people cheer, “The Devil is here!” 

Please, take those who are unpure. 

Flesh is burnt, charred, sacrificed to the very thing they prayed against.  

People do not care when those they hate are mutilated. 

Screams of the banes of society are welcomed by cheers. 

The people are playing God, choosing who deserves life.  

Creating and destroying are gifts always given  

To those with the bloodiest hands. 

Pounding of flesh on concrete only scares 

The man who should never fear. 

And he knows the cheers will soon turn to screams – 

The Devil will always come for you. 

[laurasthoughtss]

i wrote in my journal a couple weeks ago, an entry for a story i’m writing.

i wrote, in a lot of detail, a fictionalization of my experience with extreme suicidal ideation.

i can’t read it. it makes me sick. i can’t re write it onto my laptop because i am brought right back to the memory i spilled so wretchedly onto the page.

my account of this experience is so real, so raw, that even i cannot stomach it.

[remanence-of-love]

[yosloss]

she did.

[yosloss]

heyyy past me

wassup yo

that girl doesn’t deserve you

i want to kill her and fuck her. love her and hate her. she doesn’t deserve me but i want her. no one outside of my family loves me. she took everything so easily. i hate her and i love her.

[wandasaura]

sometimes a girl just wants to die, and that’s how todays going

[yosloss]

PSA!! CW: near death, thc, vomit, drug intake

I could’ve died last night. Get THC from a government regulated business. Know exactly how much. Don’t take it when you’re on other medications. Feel shitty? Vomit. MAKE SURE SOMEONE KNOWS YOU ARE TAKING SOMETHING.

Last night, I took two edibles from a random ass dude. Did not know the quantity. Took one, waited 30mins. No effects. Took another. I am fucked the hell up at this point.

I take 150mg prescription Sertraline (Zoloft) each day and this also fucks with my reactions and tolerance.

Anyways, I took them. Started to feel super fucking weird. Like reality and time were looping in on themselves. I couldn’t move properly, and I was starting to get muscle spasms. (Not good.) I tried to walk it off, drink water, etc. My mouth was also insanely dry. Nothing in there.

The muscle spasms were getting worse, and I could tell something was definitely wrong. I am also feeling nauseous, still with a very distorted sense of reality and time. I felt out of control in the worst way possible.

Long story short, I vomit, feel a bit better, go to sleep, wake up, still feel a little off but so much better. Thank the lords. My mom was on the phone with poison control, monitoring me most of the night. Had my symptoms been worse, I would’ve needed to go to the hospital.

Do not take drugs without knowing the exact quantities, without someone knowing you’re taking them, while on other medications. Seriously. You could fucking die, no joke. Especially the other medications part. The interaction between drugs is scary.

Don’t be like me. Be smart, be safe.

[yosloss]

when our song becomes just a song. when our spot becomes just a bench. when us becomes you and i. when we become separate entities, nothing but tendrils yearning across time and space. and yet they never reach each other, for we do not move as fast as space expands. our love is not enough for the universe.

[yosloss]

i pray for you to come back to me

not crawling

not on your knees

but wholly (holy)

standing tall

and i will say,

“let us worship ourselves.”

[firewirecompatible]

everyone say thank you to black trans women and black trans men

[ghostboyravenight-deactivated20]

i’d also like to say thank you to black non-binary people and black intersex people

[transisstor]

Reblog if you think fanfiction is a legitimate form of creative writing.

[yosloss]

is churning out a billion metaphorical thoughts in three hours then having nothing the next day normal?

[pilgrimattinkercreek1974]

Oh ok so it turns out ive been borrowing grief from the future ! it turns out ive been preparing to lose the things i love rather than basking in the light of them while they last. Maybe i should nt do that

[sexchangedotcom]

"tumblr's the only social media without algorithms!" "you can still be anonymous on tumblr!" "tumblr's so nice because you don't have to show your face!" WRONG tumblr is special because you can have 3000 followers and still get an average of seven likes a post. i'm doing stand up comedy at a packed venue and one person is laughing

[vampeony]

It’s strange, seeing someone and feeling like you’re supposed to be close.

Like your lives should overlap somehow.

Like your hands should already know each other.

But they don’t.

You look at them, and it feels like home.

But you’re standing miles apart,

on different frequencies,

like your worlds were never meant to touch.

And still

you want to reach out.

You want them to notice the way your eyes linger.

The way your heart aches for something that never even started.

Just silence.

And space.

And this quiet, constant knowing that they’ll probably never turn around.

[shatterred-unvoiced-thoughts]

[yosloss]

can we please bring back [gunshot]